Codega
by Juulna
Summary: Rey wishes to join the Knights to discover more about her past and the Force. General Hux and Kylo Ren take her under their wing in an attempt to guide her through the darkness of their world; a world that they helped to create. Rey draws out sides to them that they had considered long-buried, and Rey is surprised at the ferocity of their protection over a simple scavenger. Reylux.
1. Surrender

**Note:** **Hello again everyone. :) I missed everyone greatly. I'm finally reposting my stories after having been hacked back in January of 2017. I decided to take a break from fandom completely after that event so as to sort of gather my bearings, if you will. But here I am again. I know I'll never hit over the 1k mark again or anything like that... but I don't really care. All I want right now is to be able to share my story again, to whomever wants to read it. I want to put my works back out there to show that I can't be brought down by bullies. And I want to put it all back out there so that if I feel inspired, as I have time, I can continue these works that are a deep part of who I am, and which make me incredibly happy.**

 **This work currently has thirty chapters, and I will be reposting them every other day for the time being. My other works will follow along shortly.**

 **It's good to be home.**

 **Thank you to my friends, family, and husband for being so supportive of me in my time of need. Special thanks to Perry_Downing, Annaelle, and grlie-girl for being my rocks, and to everyone else who kept tabs on me when I dropped off the face of the earth. I couldn't have done it without you all.**

 **Oh, and if you need proof that this is the real Juulna, you can contact perrydowning or cuthian on Tumblr.**

 **This work is disclaimed. This work is also being reposted after being removed via hacking. Originally started on january 26, 2016.**

 ***hugs***

* * *

 _"In Venice in the Middle Ages there was once a profession for a man called a codega-a fellow you hired to walk in front of you at night with a lit lantern, showing you the way, scaring off thieves and demons, bringing you confidence and protection through the dark streets. "_  
 _― Elizabeth Gilbert_

* * *

Finally, she'd had enough. Rey had stolen the Millennium Falcon from the Resistance and fled the Ileenium System, traveling from system to system until she'd finally found what she was looking for.

She kept her lightsaber in the small bag flung over her shoulder, but she left her staff inside of the Falcon. They would have just seen it as a mark against her intentions, which were certainly not to start a fight. She hadn't really wanted to leave the Falcon, but there was no way she could bring it with her to… well, wherever it was that they decided to take her, ultimately. Plus, she was sure that the Resistance had outfitted the blasted thing with tracking devices that even she hadn't been able to find.

No, it was better left here, on this desolate planet whose only claim to fame was a vast agricultural presence and the First Order outpost that oversaw the cultivation.

She'd followed the whispers until she found herself standing at the base of the Falcon, ready to turn herself in.

It was the only way she could get answers.

Luke had refused to teach her, turning his back on her and the prospect of restarting the Jedi Academy that had failed so spectacularly years before. She'd returned to the Resistance, as bitter towards Luke as the rest were, and learned as much as she could from Leia and her basic knowledge. But there was only so much she could teach the budding, powerful Force user that Rey was becoming.

She needed a true teacher.

It also hadn't helped that the other Resistance members treated her in various turns as a living legend, or as a pariah, scared of what she could possibly do to their minds without their knowledge. Based on some of the stories Rey had heard of previous Jedi, she really couldn't blame them. So, she kept to herself mainly, even distancing herself from Finn and Poe, who had fallen so deeply in love that sometimes it just hurt to watch.

No one really trusted her, either. She was too new. Sure, she was a throwback to the Jedi past, but hadn't Luke shunned her? There must have been a good reason for that; for the great Master Luke not to trust her, right? Those whispers followed her everywhere, and grew so pervasive as to worm their own way into Rey's mind.

The final straw came when Leia, ever-honest and practical, pulled Rey aside about a month later to tell her the truth about her past.

Her parents had been members of the then-nascent First Order. Luke and Leia had come across her entirely by accident when she was still a child, and had recognized the power of the Force in her right away. They knew who her parents were – how much of an asset Rey would be to the First Order if she were trained within their teachings – and had taken her away.

Just like that. No remorse.

It was 'war,' after all.

Leia had explained as gently as she could that they had left her on Jakku and told her that they would be back shortly; that Unkar Plutt would see to her safety until they made sure they hadn't been followed. Of course, Rey didn't remember any of this, only that they had said that they'd come back… and then they hadn't.

Leia had been so consumed with grief at her son's betrayal and the loss of the Academy that she hadn't even remembered that Rey was there, until years later. She'd contacted Unkar Plutt to check on her, but hadn't wanted to interfere anymore in her life at that point, especially at such a delicate time in the Resistance's negotiations with the New Republic.

Rey had had years of practice – ironically, on that same planet she'd been abandoned on – at hiding her emotions, and had muttered words of understanding to Leia, even as her anger and resentment slowly simmered underneath the surface. She'd asked to be excused, and had then spent the rest of the day kicking her heels on the edge of a cliff, thinking. She'd alternated between rage at being taken away from her family, despair that she'd never see them again, resentment that she'd been abandoned and forgotten like a piece of Jakku trash, and a budding hatred for her circumstances. She wasn't growing. She was doing nothing, and it was starting to wear thin. The Resistance's fight was becoming less and less her own as each day passed, and there had been nothing for her to do there; it wasn't like they were letting her contribute anyway.

A small part of her mind had whispered that maybe they never would; that maybe they were just waiting for her First Order blood to show and for her to betray them all.

Rey'd left the next morning, before anyone was awake. She was sure she'd seen Poe and BB-8 on their way to Finn's quarters, but they hadn't even looked in her direction.

That final slight cemented her decision. She'd flown away, quicker than anyone could scramble a single X-wing to intercept her, with a healthy dose of Force use that she'd been able to cobble together through practicing on her own. She'd been able to manage that much, at least.

And now, here she was, about to walk into a First Order outpost. She wanted to find her parents; to discover her true heritage…

But most importantly, she needed to learn.

Putting one booted foot in front of the other, hands held above her head, she walked into view of the outpost and waited for the next chapter of her life to begin.

Oddly enough, this time the sound of booted Stormtrooper feet provided her with a degree of comfort.

* * *

Two weeks ago, she'd been shackled and put into a holding cell in the outpost's garrison. They explained to her that, even if they did believe her intentions, there was no way that they could trust that what they believed wasn't being fed to them by her use of the Force.

Well, obviously she'd become quite the infamous character throughout the First Order. Saying as much, they explained with some chagrin that her description had been passed around to all of their outposts a month ago. Force users were rare these days, and her capture, rather than death, had been ordered by the Supreme Leader and the First Knight of Ren. Her just walking into this garrison without a fight would get all of them promotions, the leader explained, and Rey smiled sweetly back at him. She told him, without a shred of bitterness or dishonesty, that she was truly happy for him.

They still maintained as little physical contact as they could with her, however, feeding her via droid and making sure she had everything she might possibly need in the cell with her. It wasn't a bad period of time, being locked up. In fact, Rey appreciated and admired their caution. She could very well have been a spy. But she made sure to be a model prisoner, not wanting to ruin her last chance at answers in this cursed galaxy.

It was on the fifteenth day of her incarceration that a noticeable change in her routine occurred. She was allowed a true shower that day, and nicer clothes were left out for her to change into. The soap in the shower stall was probably the officer's little gift to her – they'd become rather friendly and he seemed to be truly grateful to her for showing up at the outpost – and she combed out her hair as little puffs of citrus scent floated around her. She hadn't felt this well-taken care of in weeks… in years… ever, if she were honest with herself. A bitter twist graced her lips as she realized that the first time someone had cared enough for her to offer her some special soap was while she was being held prisoner, of all things.

Hearing the sound of a shuttle landing outside the garrison, Rey quickly realized that it was the reason for the change in routine today. She quickly braided her hair into a single coil and tied it with the short ribbon she'd found on top of her carefully-folded new clothes. The clothes obviously belonged to a woman from the local village she'd seen on her way in, consisting of black leggings and a sleeved burgundy thigh-length tunic, with a black belt to cinch the baggy fabric in at the waist. She'd forgone the black boots as they'd been too tight, but really, she much preferred the feel of the cool rock on her bare feet. The sensation literally grounded her, providing her with a sense of calm as she stood and faced the door of her cell. She could hear two pairs of footsteps coming down the hallway. It was time to meet her fate.

Slowly the door opened, and she kept her eyes facing forward as two men stepped into the cell. The door closed behind them, locking shut once again.

She'd expected the man who was reaching up to remove his mask with a hiss: Kylo Ren, leader of the Knights of Ren, apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke. However, she hadn't expected the orange-haired man (though she did recognize him from Resistance films) standing to Kylo Ren's left, consciously giving the other man room to draw his lightsaber if necessary. Their body language spoke of a physical comfort with each other, a battle-readiness that would allow them to move together without words; it spoke of long years of practice together, and a trust that went bone-deep.

How odd – Finn had said that they seemed to hate each other, from the little he'd observed on Finalizer.

But the proof against Finn's words stood in front of Rey's more battle-weary eyes.

Rey suddenly realized that neither of them was speaking. They were staring at her, frowns tugging at their features, as if unsure what to quite make of her.

Rey, taking her pride in hand and shoving it to the side, slowly knelt in front of the two powerful men, who had obviously been personally sent to collect her. She needed to make sure everything was done right, and that they had no doubt in their minds of her intentions. She lifted her eyes to meet General Hux's startled green eyes, then quickly moved on to meet Kylo Ren's equally startled dark brown eyes. She threw down her mental barriers, knowing full-well what kind of Resistance secrets lay within, and held the other Force user's gaze as she spoke.

"I wish to join the Knights of Ren; the First Order. You will find the reasons why in the memories I freely offer you, First Knight…"

* * *

The general stepped back, eyes darting back and forth between the two figures as the thin young woman kept her gaze locked on Kylo Ren, and he on hers, as he slowly entered her mind.

Hux wasn't sure who had more power in this situation: the man on his feet, entering her mind, weapon clipped to his belt… or the woman on one knee, barefoot and weaponless, giving herself freely.

* * *

 **Note:** **I've returned to Tumblr as well, for contact and updating purposes. I can be found under Juuls.**


	2. Acceptance

Rey had been locked into a small room after being escorted onto the _Finalizer_. Thankfully, it was dissimilar to the one she'd originally found herself in during her last… stay… with the First Order – with _him_. No restraints, at least, though the walls were just as impersonal and the lights just as dim.

She found herself pacing the length of the room to pass away the time. It had been at least a couple of hours since the two men had left her here, locked in from the outside, droids on guard – no need to repeat what had happened the _last_ time, she was sure they were thinking – and she had practically memorized the dimensions of the small space. What if she had done the wrong thing by coming here? Were they going to kill her? Would she be used, abused… _raped_ , before they killed her, if they did? What if they could grant her no answers to her questions? What if they chose not to train her, just as Luke Skywalker had done? What if they plundered her mind for all her Resistance secrets and they just kept her locked up? Granted her nothing in return?

Well, too late for that now, she told herself. She'd granted access to her mind freely, knowing what she was giving up. She'd needed to show that she was serious, and that was certainly one way of doing it… However, she hoped that the Resistance would get off their high horses long enough to realize what had happened. Maybe they could escape the coming storm yet… She really didn't want their deaths on her conscience, even if they had not treated her that kindly.

But really, what else did she think they'd make her do when she'd made her decision to join them? Had she really expected them to allow her to sit on the sidelines – her, a strong Force-sensitive?

No.

Rey whirled, heart racing, as the sound of the door hissing open startled her from her thoughts. She shoved all of her fear deep into the back of her mind, calling on Leia's meditative techniques that she'd passed onto her before Rey had stolen away.

In walked the two men who had left her here hours earlier without a word. She'd assumed they'd gone to figure out what to do with her. They hadn't said a word on the way to the ship, either, and thus it was odd to finally hear the voice of the orange-haired man for the first time, in person.

"Rey…" The way his voice curled around her name made her shiver, though she wasn't quite sure with what. Perhaps his eyes boring intensely into hers had something to do with it as well. This man was definitely sure of himself, and his assured voice contributed to that feeling as he continued. "We have returned from Supreme Leader Snoke and have determined your worth. Determined the value of your intent, if you will." He tilted his head slightly to the side, indicating the masked Kylo Ren standing at his side. "The First Knight has seen your intent and Supreme Leader agrees that you may join the Knights of Ren, at the First Knight's request. You are to answer to the First Knight only, though, apparently. He will explain what this means to you in further detail, but you will be allowed to join with the basic training of the other Knights of Ren. You are not to train with First Order troops. You are too… different… from the Stormtroopers, and are not the type for an officer commission, I assume." At the last, he lifted an eyebrow as if in slight mockery.

Rey flushed, but nodded. She took a moment to mull this information over in her mind, though her eyes kept darting to the silent, masked man at the General's side. Being in a similar-styled room with him again, staring at her with his mask covering his own features, was bringing back memories of that event. She could practically feel the restraints gripping her wrists, and she clenched her fists to remind herself that that was not what was happening now. It did remind her, though…

"Am I to be a prisoner? What will my official designation be, if not a traditional member of the Knights of Ren?" The name of the religious branch of the First Order came grudgingly to her tongue as this was only her second time speaking it aloud, and she practically tripped over the words as she spoke them.

Hux opened his mouth to speak, but Kylo Ren steps forward and lifts his hands to remove his mask from his head. He had to push his hood back from his head, and Rey found herself watching the fabric fold back across his shoulders rather than watching his face being slowly unveiled. Her eyes widened as she realized her mind has drifted off, once the man started to speak. The General had fallen silent and remained so as soon as the other man had stepped forward, obviously willing to let Kylo Ren explain the particulars.

"You will partake in lessons with the other Knight trainees when I see fit, but you are to answer only to me. You do what I tell you to do, and you will become more powerful than any of the others. You will be designated as part of the Knights – yes, there are other women – but will be known and treated as my apprentice. I will personally familiarize you with the ship and your general expectations over the next couple of days, but until we are better… acquainted, you will remain in the quarters you have been appointed to."

Rey's eyes darted to take in the room she is currently standing in, and his tone actually _lightened_ when he answered her unspoken question. "No, not here… Rey. You have been assigned much more comfortable quarters in a section of the officer's wing. My quarters are located in the same hallway, and the General's in yet another." His eyes were staring holes straight through her, she swore. It was rather unnerving. She glanced down at her borrowed clothes, then looked up again. She caught the General's green eyes piercing into hers as if he were trying to figure out, so she looked instead at the space between the two tall men.

"Okay," she nodded. "I don't… expect it back, but I just wanted to know if my bag is safe?"

She saw Kylo Ren nod as he replied in the affirmative, before he turned around and returned his mask to his face. The General reached up and adjusted his own hat on his head then gestured for Rey to precede him towards the door. "If you will. I will see you to your quarters as requested, then I must get on with my operations." He shot a glare at Kylo Ren, who was already halfway out the door. Obviously he hadn't expected to be roped into overseeing this new addition to their crew personally.

She is walked through the hallways of the ship, Hux prowling a step behind her and Kylo Ren stalking ahead a number of paces. It doesn't take too long to reach the officer's wing, especially with the use of a lift that she remembers seeing on the old star destroyers back on Jakku. She can certainly see how they come in handy, she thought. Finally they stopped in front of a door that was similar to every other door off the hallway. There is a keypad to the side, and Kylo Ren took a moment to adjust the display, controls, and locks with his access codes. Rey's name appeared on the pad, and she assumed that this would be to help her – and others – find her rooms more easily.

He gestured for her to enter the room, and the two men followed closely behind her. The front room contained a small seating area and a desk; the colors are in greyscale and black, though with a touch of red. It was not particularly welcoming, but it was better than the other room, for sure. Through an open doorway, Rey could see a grey-and-red covered bed and another door that, she assumed, would lead to the refresher.

She turned back towards the men. She was sure that they were impatient to carry on with their days. They'd already wasted enough time on a simple scavenger, she believed. It was strangely… flattering, having the two most important men in the First Order see to her placement among the ship's crew. Well, perhaps flattering was not the word. And perhaps it had something to do with her being a lucrative catch for their cause…

Kylo Ren had not removed his mask again and, as he started to explain that she would be able to use her communication panel on her desk to contact him directly, she frowned at the disturbing memories his voice stirred up. She shoved those thoughts aside, though, and focused instead on what he was saying. She nodded that she had heard him, but asked: "What about the General? Will I be able to contact him?" She knew it was a foolish question as soon as she'd asked it – she wasn't even sure why she'd asked it in the first place. Something to do with them being her only two points of contact on the ship, maybe…

She saw the General's cheeks start to flush red beneath his freckles, and he looked like he was about to lay into her about her disrespectful question, so she cut in quickly. He was already mad, so she may as well dig herself in a little deeper. "I mean… will I be able to contact you? You are the only two I know here, so far. I'm sorry if I offended you, sir." Her tone was not quite apologetic for all that her words were, but she could see that he was now looking at her inquisitively; as if she'd done something he hadn't expected.

He glanced at Kylo Ren and arched a brow at him as if to share in the oddness of Rey's remark, before turning back towards her and replying. "My personal communications line is kept for emergency purposes only. But Kylo Ren may find or contact me if you have… need of me." He turned towards the door once more, saying, "I am sure, however, that you will meet plenty of more suitable comrades while you are here. If you will excuse me, I have to return to my duties." Without waiting for her nod, he turned to face her once more and bowed, formally, with what Rey assumed was the appropriate depth for her new status in the structure of the Knights. She truly didn't know anything about formal gestures, but she found herself oddly touched by the fact that someone had bothered to… _bow_ to her. She had never experienced that before, and it was a strange feeling. Not quite a feeling of belonging or happiness; something she couldn't place – but it was _good_.

She wasn't even aware that he had left until Kylo Ren moved into her field of vision, entering her personal space in that same way he had done just over two months previous. Rey's eyes widened as she came back to herself, but she stood her ground. She was shorter than him so she had to crane her neck to look up into the visor of his mask. All that she could see were her eyes, reflected back at her. "You have more questions," he stated through the voice modulator.

Rey blinked, long and slow, before swallowing and replying. "Yes, I do. I… some can wait, though. May I ask just one?"

"Yes," he answered curtly.

She paused for a moment, still close to his body. She could feel the heat coming off of him in waves; he must be hot beneath his robes, though she _had_ noticed the air was rather chilly on the ship outside of her new rooms. "May you remove your mask… please?" Courtesy never hurt to fall back on; especially as she was trying to make all of this work out for her and her future.

He said nothing but reached up and removed his mask yet again, in that gesture that was becoming familiar to Rey. Her mind briefly flitted over how odd that fact was. He tucked his mask under his left arm but made no motion to step back. There was barely a foot between them. But if he refused to step back, she would follow his lead…

"I assume that was not the question you wished to ask," he stated, expression flat and humorless.

The corners of her lips twitched up anyway as she looked at a spot just below his chin. His face was smooth-shaven; she barely remembered that from last time. "No," she replied. "I… was going to ask about this apprentice thing."

"What about it?"

"Well… I read that there are only ever two, um, Sith. A master and an apprentice. I, um, admit that I don't know a lot about this, but aren't you an apprentice?"

Kylo finally took a step back, obviously pondering how best to answer her if his eyes were any indication.

She watched as his eyes hardened; she was sure it was at a memory that her question had elicited. She remained quiet, hands kept still at her sides.

"Once I healed from our duel," his voice was tightly reined in, "I underwent the Sith trial. Or what passed for them with Supreme Leader… Master Snoke. He may still technically have the title of Master to me, but I am now a Master in my own right, and am entitled to take on an apprentice of my own."

Rey couldn't help but ask: "But wouldn't you now be Darth… Kylo? Darth Ren?"

The man in front of her couldn't help but to let out a short bark of laughter at her obvious confusion. She frowned at him, wondering if he was mocking her, but he answered her before she could do or say anything more. "No," he replied with a hint of humor still in his tone. His features had smoothed back down, however. "We are the Knights of Ren, and follow a somewhat different path than the Sith Lords of the Empire, and before. The Knights have existed for centuries, and maintain their own protocols and formalities. Those are what we ascribe to. I am still the First Knight, as I have been for years now. But they will know that I am a Master now." He paused again, in thought. "That was a good question, Rey. You will do well." He nodded.

"I… thank you?" She stumbled over the thought of thanking him – at the oddity of thanking the man whom she had tried to kill just two months ago – and just let the words out. Courtesy, she thought again. Her eyes trailed briefly over the light scar bisecting his right eye – the one she had put there – and asked a question that had just popped into her head.

"If I am to be your apprentice, but also a Knight of Ren, what… how does the naming system work? I know that your name includes a title."

His expression turned slightly thoughtful, as if he hadn't expected her to ask this question, or as if he hadn't thought that far ahead yet. He picked up his mask and turned towards the door. He turned to face her before replying. "You will be known as Rey Ren, from now on, to myself and to others. Though you may take another name, the title of Ren will remain. I leave that choice to you." He bowed to her, much the same as General Hux had done earlier. "Welcome to the _Finalizer_ and the Knights of Ren, Rey Ren. I will return tomorrow to fetch you after the seventh bell. Be ready." And with that, he swept from the chambers.

Rey didn't even dwell on the click of the lock, though she heard it. She was too busy dealing with the emotions suddenly overwhelming her.

It may just be a title but, for the first time in her life, she _had a second name._

It did not matter that it was Kylo Ren who had given it to her, or that she shared it with who knew how many other men and women… _she had a second name._

She'd never had that before – not even the Resistance had given that to her, though they had been the one to take away her original last name in the first place.

Conflict aside, Rey vowed that she would treasure this moment, no matter how silly it might seem to others.


	3. Potential

Three days later, Rey found herself at her third practice with a small group of Knights, practice staff clacking against her training partner's. The sound was soothing and the steps easy to remember, so she found her mind drifting over the events of the previous days.

Her first day had been rather hectic after Kylo Ren had come to collect her. Trailing after him, shorter legs trying to keep up with his long strides, she had been given a cursory tour of the ship and all of its pertinent facilities – at least the ones that they wouldn't mind her knowing anything about, she was sure.

He had then brought her down to the Knights' training rooms and introduced her to the small group that was currently stationed on board. The rest, he had explained, were fulfilling other duties – he hadn't said what, but no matter. Along with twenty trainees, there were two of the more senior Knights who were in charge of the training. One, Asha Ren, was a Mandalorian woman who specialized in projectile weapons. She was the same height as Rey, though darker in features, and her eyes had tracked Rey almost constantly from the moment they were introduced. She could feel herself being sized up and judged, and was just waiting for the moment the other woman would chew her up and spit her out. The other senior Knight was a rare red-skinned Twi'lek male named Ja'al Ren. He had hardly even looked at Rey after they had been introduced, and Rey was sure that the man considered her beneath him. They had not protested her special place as Kylo Ren's personal apprentice, but she was sure that they had been thinking it.

After a brief training session that day, she had been dropped back off at her door with a stack of books – actual _books_ – on Imperial and First Order history, and locked into her room once again. Her only time outside the next day was for another training session with the Knights. Kylo Ren had hardly spoken two words to her when he had collected her yesterday and none when he had today.

Her thoughts were interrupted suddenly by a sharp pain as a staff made firm contact with the back of her shoulders. She froze and found herself blinking into the startled eyes of her training partner, who was certainly not responsible for hitting her from behind.

"Trainee!" Ja'al's voice whipped out.

Rey slowly turned until she was facing the man, and set one end of her staff on the ground so that she could wipe the other sweaty palm over the bottom of her black tunic. "Yes sir?" She queried evenly, choosing to meet his eyes rather than look at her feet.

"Your form is wrong again. You have raw talent, but no training – to be strong in all weapons you must have both. Discipline is key." The hard edge of his voice leeched the compliment right out of his statement. That was no matter, though. Rey was here to learn – not to be coddled.

"Yes sir. I will succeed next time." The words were ones she had heard the other trainees use, and she assumed that they were considered the acceptable, formulaic response with their two Masters. Courtesy, she mused, was becoming her mantra on this ship. She did not need to ask to know where she had gone wrong; she knew that her hands had not been placed in the proper position. A minor detail, she'd thought, but apparently it made all the difference in true mastery of the weapon.

"See that you do," he nodded. He raised his voice so that the other trainees could hear him, catching the eye of Asha across the room. She nodded her affirmation, even though he was already speaking. "Before we finish, pair up and spar. Asha Ren and I will rotate through you. Do not hold back. We will know."

Lowering his voice once again, he leveled a look that seemed to cut straight through Rey. "You." He had yet to call her by her name, and she was sure that it had something to do with a version of protest at her odd status. "Let's see what you have to offer." Without another word of warning, he whipped his own staff up and lunged.

* * *

General Hux found himself standing in the large archway of the Knights of Ren's main training room. He had arrived just in time to see the start of the sparring matches, lessons obviously wrapping up for the afternoon. Standing just to the inside of the arch, he was not easily noticeable, and he preferred it that way. It allowed him to watch the militarized religious branch of the First Order without them being on their best behavior, simply because the General was watching. Not that he was their commander; no, certainly not that. Kylo Ren had full control of the Knights of Ren, answering only to the Supreme Leader. But… it certainly paid to know the quality of all of the assets at the First Order's disposal.

Yet he found his eyes tracking one person alone. He was telling himself that he was there to see the trainees as a whole, but his eyes were glued to a single, lithe form. He was also conveniently ignoring the part of his mind that told him he hadn't been here in months; not since he'd last engaged in practice with Kylo Ren.

He was surprised at how thin Rey's body looked beneath her basic black tunic and leggings. The smallness of her form seemed to assist her in her sparring match against the beast of a Twi'lek, however, as the male was slower. Even against a more-skilled opponent, speed had its advantages. Hux knew this fact intimately.

She certainly did not lack in raw skill, though. Although Hux's preferred weapon was a blaster, he could see that she was handling her staff with ease against her opponent. Her smaller stature created less of a target, and she was using that to her advantage. Her three buns bounced – was that _really_ how she would continue to wear her hair? – as she jumped over Ja'al's staff and landed back on her feet.

Hux was suddenly aware of a presence looming up behind him; a presence he knew all too well. He refused to move, keeping his eyes trained on the sparring match, even when the presence halted directly behind him.

Kylo Ren did not speak. He simply stood behind him, crowding close, and likely watching the trainees as Hux himself was doing. This was a game that the First Knight enjoyed playing with the General; one that alternated between boiling Hux's blood and sending a shot of adrenaline through his system. Hux was far more comfortable with him when they trained together. At least then it was something practical where they would learn to predict each other's movements and better protect the other's flank. Yet with this, as with every other thing in Hux's life, he refused to back down. He remained silent, keenly aware of the imposing man at his back, the mask hissing steadily with the man's smooth breaths.

"She's a sight to behold, is she not?" Kylo Ren finally spoke, though he remained where he was standing. Hux barely caught the hitch in the First Knight's otherwise steady voice. The voice modulator drowned out most subtleties from the man's voice, but Hux had heard him speak often enough to detect the hint of raw appreciation coming from Kylo.

Hux shrugged, pondering for a moment as he pretended to sweep his eyes across the entire batch of sparring trainees. "Your new apprentice? Yes, she is making a fine recruit. Raw skill, but undisciplined." Hux prized discipline in warriors the most, but there was still something captivating about the feral way Rey was currently attacking Ja'al Ren. The red-skinned Twi'lek was on the defensive for a change; something Hux rarely saw, even when he did deign to grace the Knights with his presence.

Kylo made a chuffing noise; one which Hux wasn't sure was a laugh or a sign of disdain. Perhaps it was even both. "She's different," Kylo remarked. "She will be a challenge. She has far too much of the Light side of the Force within her." Hux rolled his eyes as he did almost every time this damned Force was mentioned. It may exist and be entirely real, of that he did not deny, but there was nothing that could compare to having a large armada at your beck and call.

Kylo continued to speak after a brief pause. Rey had just knocked Ja'al's legs out from under him and he was busy rolling away from the advancing woman. "She does well so far, but she will need watching. Not just for the First Order's safety, in case she is craftier than she appears to be, but also for her own safety." Hux lifted an eyebrow at that. He'd never heard the dark man express any overt concern for another person before in his life, even when he had first come to them as a near-broken fifteen year old. Perhaps having an apprentice was changing the warrior; Hux wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing as of yet. Some concern for another might lessen the amount of broken consoles that needed repairing – or maybe it would increase the amount… They would just have to wait and see.

Hux did agree, however, that the girl – _young woman_ , his mind whispered to him – was already acquiring a target on her back. She was softer than the other Knights, Stormtroopers, and officers aboard the _Finalizer_. She was fresh meat. Something about that bothered him, when it never had before. "Is she leading us on?" He chose to ask instead.

"I do not believe so," the other man replied slowly, as if dwelling on a memory as he spoke. "From what she showed me that first day, she genuinely felt rejected by the Resistance, and especially by Luke Skywalker. She was also told that she was born to First Order parentage. Curious, that, but something we can discover more on later. For now it is enough that she genuinely seems driven to be here, even if she does not seem suited to be among us. Time will tell, I suppose. Her first real test will come with the attack upon D'Qar. We will know more of her mettle and drive, then.

Hux nodded; his first real movement since the other man had appeared. He had just received the order earlier that day. The layout of the base and the number of troops the Resistance had on hand had been pulled directly from Rey's mind by Kylo. "Will she be ready?"

The other man was silent for a moment. "She must be. She will follow me, and I will watch her. She will be ready, or she will not like her… reconditioning. Supreme Leader has his eyes on her. He has allowed me the privilege of an apprentice, but will not hesitate to step in and retain her as the prize that she is. Personally. In whatever manner he sees fit."

The General barely suppressed a shudder at that. It was not often he had to deal with the Supreme Leader in person; the hologram was bad enough, at times.

He was not, however, able to suppress the shudder that ran through him as the First Knight stepped past him, brushing his shoulder against Hux's. There was plenty of room for him to have gone around him entirely. It was another facet to the game the dark man played with him; one which Hux seemed to lose fifty percent of the time. There was just something so intimidating about the other man. When he wasn't throwing a fit or destroying property, though, he was an intimidating man that Hux was glad to have as an asset for the military.

As Kylo Ren passed by, he nodded. He did not stop walking as he commented: "It does make me wonder why the General, himself, would come to observe the Knights these last few days, all in a row. We are honored, for whatever reason it may be."

Hux narrowed his eyes after the man, but refused to respond. It was a taunt, and he knew it. They both knew it.

He watched as the trainees and senior Knights broke from sparring, all bowing low to their First Knight. Moments like that were when the General felt he would gladly trade salutes for bows. His eyes remained locked on Rey, though, and he couldn't help but notice how a slight smile was now gracing her features as she faced her Master.

He turned around and was down the hall, greatcoat flapping around his shoulders, before he realized that Rey had noticed him in the doorway and had sent a timid smile his way as well.

* * *

 ***Asha Ren is used with permission from ClockworkCourier from her story The Purest Place in the Galaxy.**


	4. Watchful

Kylo Ren slowed his steps as he made his way through the halls towards his apprentice's chambers. He didn't need to look at any of the displays on the corridor walls to know that he would be early if he kept up this pace. Turning sharply to the right, he chose to make another circuit of the officer's wing rather than stand around like a fool outside of the girl's door.

All he had to do was kill another thirty minutes of time before the seventh bell.

Passing Ja'al Ren's quarters, Kylo found his thoughts turning to the Knights of Ren. From what he had observed during the last week, his two senior Knights were treating his apprentice well – at least as well as could be expected, given the two's… volatile personalities. She was coming along well with her weapons training, they had told him, but she still had a lot of rough edges to work out – and her blaster skills were _abysmal._ Kylo Ren had seen that for himself, and the horrified look on General Hux's face at her terrible use of his preferred weapon had been well worth the time spent observing the training.

Asha Ren had reported to him separately that Ja'al Ren was going overboard – even for the Knights – in his attacks on the young apprentice. The man had moved past pushing her in sparring matches to attacking her at random during training exercises with another training partner, giving the excuse that she needed to be on guard at all times. Rey did not complain, though, Asha Ren announced with an odd tinge of pride. Rey had learned to keep watch for him even while focusing on her lessons, and the older Knight thought that perhaps it would be worth letting it go on as it was for the moment.

Kylo Ren agreed. There was no use in a soft apprentice. She would need every skill she could get – both mental and physical – to survive life within the Knights and the First Order, especially as such a strong Force-sensitive. He reflected that her stature and gender might make her appear to be an easy target, but if he had his way… any attempted attacks would be met with a steel backbone that he could already see hints of within her.

His scar was proof of that, for that matter.

Yet Ja'al would still need to be watched. He had never been happy with Snoke's interference in placing Kylo Ren as the First Knight, supplanting and later killing Ja'al's personal Master in the rush to protect his position. Even if it had been given to him at a time when the Knights were weak enough to allow the Supreme Leader the imposition, Kylo Ren had viciously defended his new title and power all on his own. He had known exactly what the Supreme Leader was doing, but had chosen to go along with it anyway, as the Knights truly _did_ need new leadership. New blood, if you will. And the blood _certainly_ ran. The Knights of Ren came out on the other side of those four years of conflict with a powerful new First, new trainees, and a renewed sense of purpose. Not even Supreme Leader Snoke dared to interfere with them anymore, not even with his apprentice at their head. At least not as much as he had intended before his power play didn't quite go as he'd planned.

He supposed there would always be challengers, however, and that was likely what Ja'al was working his way towards. It would be cowardly – though not unexpected – for the Twi'lek to go after the First Knight's apprentice before confronting the Master. They would just have to wait and see, however.

Finding himself in front of Rey's door without meaning to, he glanced at the console to the side of the door. He was fifteen minutes early, but that would just have to do. There was no way he was going to stalk through the corridors for another round or two again. If she wasn't ready, he'd just order her to ready herself more quickly and wait in the front room as she did so.

He frowned as his chime went unanswered for over a minute. He could not hear anything rustling around inside, either, no matter how hard he strained his ears through his mask.

Pulling off a glove, he pressed his palm to the console. The door opened smoothly, and he let himself inside. As soon as the door closed behind him, he pulled his mask off and carelessly dropped it on the surface of the table just inside the doorway. The resounding thump was enough to catch the attention of the room's occupant, it seemed, as a startled shriek came from the direction of the bathroom.

Kylo Ren struggled to maintain the smirk on his face as Rey came barreling out of the adjoining bedroom, one hand brandishing a heavy book in the direction of her intruder and the other barely keeping a towel wrapped around her body. Her hair was sopping wet and she had obviously _just_ turned the shower off, if her current state was any indication.

Kylo felt his entire body and mind seize. He had been watching her for days now while she had been training, observing her lithe body as it went through numerous forms of physical combat – he had even carried her in his arms back on Takodana – yet he had not truly acknowledged the allure of her body until that moment. Kylo was no stranger to physical desire, but the sight of this thin _woman_ , barely dressed, and threatening violence to his person for daring to intrude on her sanctuary, was certainly re-defining his standard of desire.

He dropped his eyes to her feet, and realized too late that looking at her feet was almost as bad a choice as looking anywhere else. There was something innately _personal_ about bare feet, Kylo had always found, and the sight of her trimmed toenails gracing the ends of her small feet was enough for him to feel a further flush of desire make its way through his system.

She ended up clutching the book to her chest, its large size practically covering her entire torso. It drew his eyes upwards but he made sure to steady his gaze before meeting hers. He refused to let her see any more of his weakness. There was no place for that here. Not now.

She remained silent, her eyes widening slightly before she lifted her chin and dropped the book on the desk beside her. Though she kept one hand on the towel covering her form, she refused to hide her body from him. _That_ was not helping.

He refused to back down when it was not necessary, however. "Front room, dressed in one of your training outfits, in five minutes," he ordered gruffly. "It's time we see what skills you have in the Force. That is not something that Ja'al or Asha Ren can teach you." With that, he turned on his heel and confidently strode to the other side of the room. When he looked back, Rey had disappeared from view.

Needless to say, Kylo Ren barely managed to concentrate enough to test his new apprentice on her skills with the Force. He did remember two things, however, after he left her alone around noon: although strong, she was unrefined… and he really needed to arrive at the appropriate time in the future.

* * *

The next morning, Rey was allowed to come and go as she pleased from her chambers. She wasn't entirely sure why now of all times, but she would take it as the gift that it was. It had been boring, cooped up in her rooms when not training, even with the history books that had been keeping her at least somewhat entertained during her down time. The protocol books, for conduct within the Knights and the First Order, however… those she was definitely glad to escape, necessary as they might be.

Even though she'd gained free access to the majority of the ship, Rey found her feet taking her towards the Knights' training area; a path that she had become very familiar with in the last week of training. She wasn't truly ready to go exploring into the other regions of the ship at the moment. Though her curiosity was tugging at her, she knew herself well enough to save it for a time when she was better prepared, and more situated in her role and place within the First Order.

She inclined her head towards Asha Ren as she made her way through the weapons room. The Mandalorian woman was cleaning her personal blaster, but paused to track the younger woman as she made her way across the room and picked up a training sword from the rack on the far side of the room. The steel was of the old variety, made through ancient techniques passed down through the Knights' teachings, one of the other trainees had explained. He had been unsure why they didn't use newer metals for their training weapons, when Rey had asked, but she simply shrugged and moved on. Sometimes ancient orders did things just because that's how it had always been done. There was no use dwelling on it. The steel was blunted, however, making it perfectly acceptable for her to brandish with her minimal skills, and not end up in the med bay every other day.

Escaping the penetrating gaze of the dark-haired woman, she moved to one of the smaller training rooms, emptying her mind and focusing on the basic forms that Ja'al Ren had shown her just that morning. She wasn't quite sure what his problem with her was, but he took pride in his teaching and all of the skills he had shown her thus far had been practical and welcomed by Rey, who had been so denied of learning new skills throughout her life.

She had the next two hours to do as she pleased, and she chose to refine her skills in the sword so that she would be ready for anything her training masters threw her way. One day she hoped to be trusted with her lightsaber again, and she wished to be ready for that eventuality as well. She did understand why she wasn't allowed access to it as of yet, though – it was a _very_ powerful weapon, even in the hands of an amateur. Until then, she would ready herself.

Sweat beading her body after over thirty minutes of practice, Rey froze at an unexpected sound behind her. There was a creaking sound, as of leather boots shifting, and a soft exhale – Rey whirled around, expecting Ja'al Ren. The flat of her blade was well on its way towards her attacker's side before she realized that it was General Hux – and that he certainly had _not_ been attacking her. What exactly he was doing there would just have to wait to be asked, because the General reacted out of instinct at Rey's attack, and Rey did not have _any_ time to think after that.

Before she could react, the tall man had twisted away from her sword's swing, completely instinctually, reached forward and gripped her arm, and then slid one foot forward to hook behind her ankle. The man was faster than she had thought he would be, and more adept at physical combat than she had ever imagined, and soon she was flat on her back on the training floor, staring wide-eyed up at the man who was now pinning her to said floor. Rey could hardly draw a breath; even without him practically straddling her chest, she doubted that she would have been able to breathe properly anyway.

He was so close. His inner thighs were hot through the fabric of his pants where they gripped her ribs. His eyes were growing as wide as her own, and his breath was speeding up rather than slowing down. His fingers flexed even tighter where they gripped her wrists over her head. She didn't know what to say, and wasn't even sure she _could_ say anything, even if she did know where to start after profusely apologizing to one of the most powerful men on the ship.

* * *

Hux desperately tried to calm his breathing, but it wasn't working. Instead, he focused on calming his thoughts, hoping against hope that she was not yet as skilled as Kylo Ren with being able to read thoughts. He stilled his body where it rested against hers, pinning her to the ground, though he did not stand up yet. He didn't know if he could control his legs if he were to stand up right now. Surely, she would notice. No… it was best to remain where he was, for the moment, and pretend that he was giving her a lesson.

Before he could wrap his mind around what to say next, the girl spoke up. Her voice was rather husky from lack of air. "What can I do for you, General?" she asked.

Hux's mind was all too happy to provide an image of what exactly she could do for him, from the exact position that she was in, beneath him. All she had to do was lift her head up and tilt it forward, open her mouth as he leaned forward and opened his…

Legs be damned, Hux found himself heaving to his feet before she could feel the proof of his growing arousal against her small, firm breasts. Too much danger lay in the direction of those thoughts for him to remain pressed against her supple body. Part of him was shocked at the ease with which his body reacted to her – it had been months since he'd had the time to go off-world and slake his desires , though, so maybe it wasn't _that_ shocking – but the other part of his mind whispered that he shouldn't be all that surprised. She had been an object of fascination since he'd seen her kneel in that cell. Her power, her strength, her poise… it drew him like a moth to a flame, more than anything he'd ever experienced for a woman before. Perhaps it was the lure of the unattainable; the forbidden.

She scrambled to her feet hurriedly and Hux took the opportunity to turn around and pick up his greatcoat from the floor where he'd let it fall, pulling it closed around his front before facing her once again. He had already let her question go unanswered longer than was generally considered polite, so he tilted his head in a nod and replied, "I was simply checking to see how our latest recruit is doing." The excuse sounded weak even to his ears; he couldn't imagine what it would sound like to hers.

She took a moment to glance at him from head to foot, and back up again. It was a _long_ moment, where her gaze seemed to penetrate right through him. He remained steady throughout, forcing his breaths to slow. " _The_ General? Checking in on _me_? Really?" She seemed to finally remember the protocol that she had been learning during the last week, and bowed at the waist. It was close to the right depth for an apprentice Knight to bow in deference to a General of the First Order. He didn't truly wish her to bow, but there was no good reason he could give to stop her from doing so; therefore he let her bow and remained silent.

He waited until she was straight once more before he raised a brow at her. She seemed to fluster for a moment before recalling what he had originally said. "Oh. Yes. I'm doing well, sir."

"Very good," he inclined his head, turned, and swept from the room, leaving a very perplexed Rey in his wake.

* * *

Kylo Ren sipped at his Oseon brandy as he watched his apprentice make tentative conversation with some of the trainee Knights. There were four of them at the table with her, and five others were holding a debate on the other side of the lounge. Asha Ren was alternating between reading and glaring at her trainees, and Ja'al was nowhere in sight.

The Knight's Lounge was a place where both masters and apprentices could unwind without having to stand on too much ceremony, and Kylo Ren was grateful for that. Here, he could observe without feeling watched in turn. He sat in his usual armchair by the fireplace against the interior wall, angled halfway towards the fire, and halfway towards his apprentice. It was her first night outside of her chambers, and she had not really spoken with others outside of training.

He caught a movement out of the corner of his eye, and reached up to brush a lock of hair off of his forehead as he turned to nod at General Hux, who was seating himself in the armchair directly to his right, on the other side of Kylo from the fire. The other man did not smile, but his form was relaxed as he nodded in return, a snifter of brandy in his own hand. The General was not technically supposed to be in here, but Kylo had allowed him access to the lounge about four years ago as a sort of peace gesture towards the other man. He hadn't taken up Kylo's offer until three years ago, and even then it was rare that he would join the First Knight within the lounge. Yet slowly they began to spend more time together until they reached their current state of affairs: at least once a week, both men would grab a chair and a brandy, and they would sit for an hour or two. More often than not there was only silence between them, but that suited them both just fine. When they did speak, it was to discuss personal fighting techniques from the sparring matches that the First Knight had invited the General along to just over two years ago.

Kylo Ren recognized the solitude in the other man, even if neither of them would admit to the weakness in themselves. They were both equal to none within their spheres of influence aboard the ship, and even within the greater sphere of the First Order as a whole, there were few above them. The closest peer they had was each other.

They sat in silence, both gazing at Rey across the room. Her laughter had bubbled up moments earlier, recapturing their attention with its gaiety. Although laughter was not uncommon in this room, the sheer delight and unguardedness of the sound was.

Kylo's eyes narrowed as he saw the man with whom Rey was laughing. The other man had zeroed in on Kylo's apprentice while Kylo had been distracted by his thoughts, circling towards Rey like a shark scenting blood.

He glanced towards Hux, and noticed the other man's eyes had taken on a dangerous cast while looking at Rey as well. Hux turned his head slightly towards Kylo, taking his eyes off of Rey briefly so that he could acknowledge what they had both seen. They both returned to watching Rey as she drew the other trainees to her with her inner light and joy.

Both the First Knight and the General knew what that man was capable of; what sort of unsavory proclivities the man had. He had been disciplined for his behavior on numerous occasions, but the last event had been… bad, to say the least.

"She is too light for these people," Kylo muttered, mainly to himself. It was an odd statement for him to make, but he knew that Hux would understand, if anyone.

"I know." Hux did not disappoint. Kylo did not need the Force to know that Hux fully understood all the nuances of what he was saying. It had been many years since he had last used the Force on Hux, but he was able to read the other man just the same.

"She'll need to be watched," Kylo added offhandedly. It wasn't quite a question… but it was.

Hux knew what he was asking and not-asking. "I know."

Their eyes met once more, longer this time. After a moment, they nodded. They understood each other on this matter, at least.


	5. Fervor

Rey sighed and leaned back in her desk chair, rubbing her eyes. She had been studying Empire history for the last four hours, and her eyelids felt like sandpaper as she blinked. Yesterday had been her first evening out after dinner, and she had truly enjoyed herself in the Knight's Lounge, but she had had too many things to study for her to go out again tonight. Since she had put in so many hours tonight, however, she felt that maybe she'd be able to explore again tomorrow. But there was still more to study. So many protocols to memorize; names and places and dates of battles…

Twenty minutes later, Rey dropped her head onto the pile of books open on her desk and groaned. She couldn't handle any more strain on her eyes. Pushing her chair back, she decided to call it a night and see if she could get some sleep.

Rey shucked her training outfit, tossing it in the clothes' hamper near the closet, and then pulled on a loose shirt over her smallclothes. She hesitated before ultimately deciding to undo her hair from its three buns, and then set the ties down on the end table as she ran her fingers through the strands. Even her _hair_ seemed to be tired.

Unfortunately, Rey didn't think she'd be able to get her mind to settle, even as she lay back on top of the covers. Her mind was racing, even as her body pleaded with her to fall asleep.

She had to admit that life on the _Finalizer_ was, so far, exceeding her expectations. She had only been here just over a week, but already she felt like she had more of a purpose than she ever had back with the Resistance. She had found a certain degree of acceptance, respect, and belonging with the Knights of Ren. Even if they weren't always friendly, there was always a certain sort of camaraderie that she felt whenever in the training facilities.

She was actually _contributing_ to something – to bettering herself – instead of being shunted to the side and seen as a pariah; as someone who didn't truly belong.

Even… even Luke hadn't wanted her. The one man whom everyone had said would be able to teach her, look after her, be like a _father_ to her…

' _I cannot teach you. I will not. I want nothing to do with Jedi, anymore; nothing to do with you. Leave me to my solitude.'_

His harsh words, spoken in anger and pain, had left deep wounds on her heart – wounds that had yet to fully heal. Coupled with the pain of Leia's admission that she had been left on Jakku after being kidnapped… she had had no place to return to. Her hopes and dreams of a family returning for her had been shattered in one night.

Yet here… in the one place she never would have expected… she was finally finding her place in the Galaxy.

There were still some things about the First Order that made her squirm, but the more she read, the more she learned of the reasoning behind their actions. Perhaps one day, it would all make perfect sense to her. Perhaps she could even ask her Master about it. Surely he would wish for her to understand, and be pleased that she had asked?

Already she felt that she owed them so much. A new life, a new purpose, a _name_ … and _more._

It was that _more_ that Rey's mind turned to next.

With a loud sigh, Rey threw her feet over the edge of the bed, got up, and started to pace around her room. Her bare legs broke out in gooseflesh as soon as the cool air passed over them, but she pushed the discomfort aside in favor of the other thoughts currently occupying a large space in her mind.

Immediately, her body flushed at the memory. Gooseflesh need no longer be a concern; not as a result of the cold at least.

The moment her eyes had met her Master's when he'd barged in on her while showering, she had realized that her state of half-dress had affected him more than he was willing to let on. His initial reaction had been shock, which could have easily been dismissed as something simple. But the way his eyes had practically smoldered behind a thin veil of control when they met her gaze… Rey had only seen that a handful of times back at Niima Outpost. The occasional human visitor had looked at her with the same expression on his face as Kylo's had had, leading to a couple rounds of kissing that weren't _entirely_ awful…

But none of those men had shown her the same intensity of emotion, with just their _eyes_ – not like her Master. Her Master lusted after her and Rey found that she did not mind in the least. She had no idea what to do about it, however, and was completely unsure of herself when it came to anything to do with physical attraction. She'd only ever observed, or heard it discussed, besides her few forays into kissing. She'd never really wanted to try it again, though; not until now. Now… just his eyes had brought a thrill to her core that she had only ever experienced at her own hands.

And yet… her mind drifted towards the other man who had simultaneously captured her attention.

Rey still had no idea why the General was showing such interest in her training – a misplaced sense of duty? Obligation? Curiosity? Try as she might, she couldn't quite understand why he was always showing up and watching them – her? – train. It had become increasingly difficult to keep her mind on her tasks. Except for when he had snuck up on her in the private training room…

Rey shivered. _That_ had been unexpected. Not his appearing… no – for all that it was a surprise, it was her body's reaction to him that had been the unexpected part. It was not unlike how she was feeling now; hot and shivering at the same time, breaths coming quicker, eyes widening…

Squeezing her eyes shut, Rey ran both hands through her loose hair as she sunk back down onto the edge of her bed. She couldn't deny her attraction to these two powerful men, but their power was part of what scared her as well.

Both of them had been part of some terrible things in the name of the First Order that she still couldn't quite wrap her mind around. Although she had heard many good things about the two men – along with quite a number of bad things, if she were honest with herself, and she always had been – and she had only seen good things from them in her personal interactions with them since arriving on the _Finalizer_ , there were two things she just couldn't let go of: the death of Han Solo at Kylo Ren's hands, which she had witnessed for herself, and the destruction of the Hosnian system by command of the First Order.

Rey hadn't known Han Solo for very long, but he had made quite the impression on her. He, Finn, and Chewbacca were the first people she'd met in years who had fascinated her, and had shown her kindness in a way that she hadn't experienced before. Although Han had shown her a rather gruff sort of kindness, his love of piloting and his status as a legend had made Rey treat him with a sort of fatherly respect. Even Kylo Ren had commented on that, the day of her interrogation. Looking back on it now, it was a rather quick and naïve attachment, but somewhat understandable given the circumstances. She'd never had a father to call her own, and Han had struck all the right notes in that regard from the moment they first met. The more she'd learned about him, though, the more she knew that Kylo was probably right: he likely would have disappointed her in the end.

Yet… that didn't mean that she understood why Kylo had killed his own _father_. For her, who had never had one, she saw the loss of life as needless. She couldn't figure out any strategic value that Han's death could have given to Kylo Ren, besides the loss of a legend that would come as a blow to the Resistance… Maybe that was it. Or maybe it had something to do with revenge? He _had_ sounded angry at his father on that day…

Rey vowed to ask Kylo Ren himself once she could figure out a way to ask that wouldn't seem so personal.

She shoved her hands through her messy locks, rubbing at her scalp. She blinked her tired eyes a few times, and tried to quiet her mind the way that Kylo had recently started to teach her. It was no use, however – her thoughts were swirling around her mind quicker than she could catch and expel them. She sighed and simply gave into her thoughts instead. Perhaps she would find some solace in working things through…

Even though Rey was now a part of their cause, she was secretly glad that Starkiller had blown up utterly and completely. But… why had it been built in the first place, at all? Rey felt that she was a rather practical woman, willing to do what was necessary to survive, and accepting of the consequences of war – though she had never been a part of one before, only heard tell of them – yet something about the large-scale destruction wrought by the First Order on five entire planets did not sit well with Rey. That much loss of life was not something that Rey was used to thinking about.

Rey realized that the only one who could truly answer her queries with any authority was the General himself. And she wanted an answer _now_. The thought had been bugging her ever since the attack had occurred, and had been pressing on her mind even more since her arrival here, even with everything else occupying her time and attention. It was always in the back of her mind – that and the question about Solo's death.

Figuring that she wasn't going to get any braver than she was now, she stood up. Perhaps her Master would help facilitate a discussion with the General…

Looking at the time piece on her end table, she saw that it was just past midnight as far as standard ship time was concerned. She ran to her closet and grabbed her long black over-robe, shoving her hands into the wide sleeves and clasping it shut in front of her. She didn't bother with pants or shoes; she just held the robe closed with one hand as she left her chambers.

There was a chance that the two men who had preoccupying her mind were still in the Knight's Lounge. She had seen them there yesterday, and they had stayed late then, so maybe they were there tonight.

She left her chambers with a hiss of the door, robe swirling around her bare ankles as she strode purposefully in the direction of Lounge. All tiredness was forgotten.

* * *

Rey stood just inside of the Knight's Lounge's entranceway, observing the sole occupants of the room. She hadn't been alone with them both at the same time since the day of her arrival, and she took the opportunity to observe them. Suddenly, her questions didn't seem so pressing anymore; her concerns pushed to the back of her mind.

There was something about them… the way they exuded power and finesse, but with a layer of danger and barely-controlled anger that resided deep within them both to varying degrees. She had never seen their like before, even with the myriad of alien species and personalities that came through Niima Outpost over the years.

She knew that they were aware of her presence. Both of them had flicked their eyes towards her when the door had opened, but neither of them had broken off what they were doing. It was as if they knew she needed a moment to calm herself from her purposeful walk here; a moment to compose herself. They were allowing her to come to them, she realized, and she appreciated that small act.

She watched as Kylo took a sip of an amber liquid from a small, round glass, eyes dwelling on the lines of his throat as he swallowed the small amount of alcohol. Hux swirled the drink in his own glass, catching her attention and drawing her eyes over to his long fingers lightly gripping the glass from above.

Both of them were silent, staring into the fire from relaxed positions within their same armchairs from the night before. Did they spend a lot of time together? Rey had been wondering this since that first day. They seemed comfortable in each other's presence; though she couldn't imagine that it had been an easy process for the two alpha-type personalities to achieve that degree of comfort. There was still a degree of tension between the two, Rey felt, but it wasn't quite a dislike for each other. She couldn't see these two men sharing drinks, alone, many a night if that were true. The other Knight trainees had made a passing comment that they shared drinks on occasion for the last three years. Perhaps it was a warrior companionship? A degree of camaraderie between two leaders?

Casting a quick glance down at her lack of wardrobe in the presence of these two very put-together men, she shrugged mentally, made sure that the over robe was covering her legs, and walked forwards. Her bare feet made no noise on the carpeted floor and the plush fabric was a fascinating sensation that she resolved to explore more at a later time.

She heard Kylo mention something about the Knights to Hux as she approached, and they continued to talk in low tones as she curled up in a free armchair that was closest to the fire. She tucked her feet underneath her, draping her robe over her legs until they were completely covered, and leaned against one of the arm rests. She closed her eyes and listened to the two men's voices as they washed over her. They were very nice voices to listen to, even though Rey was barely paying attention to the words that they were speaking.

Finally silence reigned over the three of them once more. Rey searched her mind for why she had come to the Lounge; she'd practically forgotten what she'd wanted to ask in the contentment that had washed over her. It was a feeling of peace that she'd rarely felt before.

She held onto that feeling for a moment longer before opening her eyes. She saw that both men were peering at her; Kylo from the next chair over, and Hux from across the fireplace. She forcibly stopped herself from flushing at the intensity of their gaze by speaking up.

"May I ask a question?" She did not include their honorifics or a greeting – there was a certain feeling in the Lounge tonight that she did not want to break, and she felt that doing so when they had offered her none would be an intrusion on the night.

It was Hux who answered her, almost immediately. "Of course, Rey." He did not hesitate over her name this time. Rey saw Kylo glance at Hux before returning his gaze to her.

Rey held her body still as she asked her question, resisting the impulse to run both hands through her hair as a result of her nervousness. "I… well, I wish to understand something so that I can better understand the goals of the First Order," she started. She cleared her throat slightly, and hoped that she would not garner the anger of her Master and the General with her question. But she wanted – no, _needed_ – to know the answer. And Rey was nothing if not strong enough to ask tough questions. She dove right in. "Why was the entire Hosnian system destroyed? What was the strategic gain of that much loss of innocent life?" She kept her voice calm and controlled, void of any accusatory tone.

Both men have become still, all motions having ceased with the completion of her query. They were both staring at her, though not with anger. It seemed as if they are pondering the reasons for her asking her question. Finally, countless loud heartbeats later, Kylo tilted his glass towards Hux. "That would be a question for the General to answer, as it was his military operation. I was not a part of the planning, nor was I a part of the decision to use it where it was used." His voice offered no hints as to how he felt about the situation; he was merely offering up the simple truth as he saw it.

Rey turned her gaze towards the General, catching and holding his for a brief moment before he looked down to take a sip from his glass. He uncrossed his legs, placing both feet firmly on the ground, and then leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. He looked rather intent as he began to formulate his reply.

When he spoke, his voice was low, but passionate. "I understand how it could look from an outside perspective. It was most assuredly a show of force; a way to strike fear into the hearts of our enemies – those who survived at least. The entire idea of Starkiller was for it to be a preventative weapon, in a way, but one that could and would also be used when necessary. And believe me – it was necessary in this event." He paused a moment, obviously collecting his thoughts. "We'd received confirmation of some intelligence that we had been in the process of double- and triple-checking. The intelligence, I can tell you now, had been that there were Resistance cells operating on each of the planets. These weren't small cells either. There were hundreds of them across the different cities in that system, and all were tied right into the heart of the New Republic government. The Resistance and the New Republic were using their planets, filled with arguably innocent civilians, as a shield for their efforts against the First Order. They knew exactly what they were doing. Many military historians and even actual treaty conventions over the years have judged that said targets then become valid – the most famous example would be the attack of the Empire's Death Star on Alderaan. Seen as an unprovoked attack at the time, intelligence revealed that there had been large military organizations hiding beneath aid and government buildings. It was the same as with the planets in the Hosnian system. These planets were at war with us by supporting the Resistance. Although they hadn't struck at us directly at that point, it was only a matter of time. Now… well, with our strike we have set that back months, if not years, thus gaining a huge tactical advantage. Not to mention a huge victory through morale."

Hux lifted his glass and took a deep gulp of what Rey had surmised to be whiskey of some sort. His features were solemn at the subject matter but Rey could see that he truly felt deeply about the topic. He was obviously in the right position for his tastes, and it showed. She imagined that he must be very good at his job, if he cared so deeply for it. Sensing that he had more to say, however, Rey remained quiet and dwelt on what he'd already said as she waited.

Finally, he continued. He met her eyes once again, and held them for a few seconds before glancing at Kylo, who was sitting there quietly, one ankle resting on the other leg's knee. Rey found her eyes tracking over to the dark man along with Hux's and she continued to stare at him as Hux began again. "Honestly, even if the Supreme Leader hadn't ordered the hit, I would have suggested it. Ultimately, it was my responsibility and I treat it as such. I have to make decisions like that as a General in the First Order – though I admit that not many have been as… weighty… as this one was."

He took another sip of his whiskey, then set the empty glass down on the table beside his chair. "Honestly, Rey?" he asked, and her eyes flew back to meet his. "It was a good feeling," he admitted. Her eyes widened, and he quickly interjected. "Not killing all those people… no. But making a difference in the war and seeing my weapon in use. All my hard work – she was my idea, you know? – coming to fruition. It's a heady feeling, seeing the results of long years. Even though it was destroyed," he gave her a slightly reproachful look but she met his gaze head-on with a strong one of her own, "it was worth it." He ran his empty hands through his red hair, tilting his head back before settling back in the chair once more. He was obviously done with his explanation. "Does that answer your question, Rey?"

Rey finally gave in to the lock of hair that had been bothering her throughout Hux's reply, and reached up to push it back from her forehead. She nodded her head tiredly in the General's direction, mulling over what he had told her. It was a lot to take in but she felt like she finally understood what had happened with the Hosnian system. She had read enough in her studies the last week, and was realistic enough as a person, to accept the logic of his argument. It really did make sense, from a strategic point of view. It was an awful tragedy, really – no matter how you looked at it – but some ways were more palatable than others.

She finally vocalized her reply, rather than leaving it at a nod. "Yes… yes, it does answer my question. Thank you," her voice was soft as she was still somewhat lost in thought.

After another few moments of silence, she glanced up again. "I saw the holovid of the… speech… before the attack," she murmured, her voice gaining a light teasing note. "Seriousness of the topic aside, you were rather… _fervent_ , there."

Kylo let out a loud laugh at her choice of words, and she saw Hux fight back a glare at the other man. His ears had taken on a slight pink flush, and she could see the skin underneath his loosened jacket collar start to turn red. It was rather fetching, she had to admit. She hadn't seen him like this before, and she found she couldn't look away. A small smile played at the corners of her lips.

Hux cleared his throat, tugged at his jacket, and sat up straighter in his chair. "I'll admit that that was a bit… _fervent_ , to use your word. But I was taught from a young age that it's important to raise the morale of your troops, and one of the ways to do so was exemplified in the holovid you saw. It's important that they believe in what their organization is doing and…" He trailed off as he saw the laughter in Rey's eyes, and the smirk playing at Kylo's features, realizing slightly too late that Rey had only been mildly serious in her question. He grunted, getting comfortable in his chair once again and falling silent, but Rey could tell that he wasn't really mad.

Rey adjusted herself in the comfortable armchair, settling deep into its cushions. She closed her eyes and, after a few minutes, heard Hux murmur something to Kylo. She was content with the answer she had received from the man, and found her mind drifting off to other topics. She wondered if her parents would have approved of the use of the weapon, if they were still alive… Were they? Maybe she'd ask tomorrow…

Rey fell asleep before she could think anymore, completely drained.

* * *

Kylo could tell the instant she fell asleep. Her eyes were already closed, but the difference was in her breathing. It had slowed almost completely to reflect the depth of her slumber; she must have been very tired.

He and Hux continued to converse in soft tones but their attention was increasingly diverted as the woman relaxed even further into her chair. Finally, there was only silence as they simply watch her chest rise and fall in a deep, steady rhythm. They had no interest in continuing their conversation. Not him, and not Hux either – Kylo understood the other man's fascination with the woman, and truly couldn't begrudge him the direction of his thoughts. Not when he was feeling the pull, as well.

He reached over and tugged Rey's over robe shut where it had fallen open in her relaxed state, exposing a long line of bare calf and lower thigh. Her skin was still bronzed from a life of living on that desert planet, but she had obviously been availing herself of the amenities in her bathroom as her skin looked very smooth. He pulled his hand back from her robe before he could give in to the temptation to touch her skin to feel just _how_ smooth, and caught Hux raising an eyebrow at him. Blast; that man could read him very well indeed at times.

He threw back the rest of his whiskey, drinking it in one go. He knew that he and Hux understood each other as far as Rey went. Oddly enough, they had both latched onto the idea of protecting the woman from their fellow Knights and Order members. She didn't belong here. But… now that she was here, neither of them would let her go. Kylo wondered what would happen if Rey expressed any interest in one of them over the other – would he let her go gracefully? He wasn't sure he could. He wasn't sure Hux could, for that matter – Kylo hadn't seen him this out of sorts since that young man from the Academy had followed him to the _Finalizer_ over ten years ago. It wasn't something that many would notice… but he could. He noticed a lot of things about Hux; many of which he was sure that the General did not know about.

For now, though, he was content to leave things be. Let them play out. They would watch her, train her, and guide her.

This was their world, after all. They were comfortable moving through its darkness.

Kylo stood a moment after Hux got to his feet. The other man took a step towards Rey and then glanced at Kylo. Their eyes met, and Kylo nodded once, deeply. He understood what the other man intended, and offered his consent.

Plus, he'd rather observe.

Hux bent over and gently gathered the young woman into his arms, lifting her until she was cradled against his chest, his arms behind her back and under her legs, with her head tucked under his chin.

"A moment," Kylo spoke up quietly, as Hux turned towards him. Kylo reached over and pulled Rey's robe shut over her legs, tucking it over her and against Hux's chest. He let his fingers trail against Hux's undershirt, exposed beneath his open jacket, just to see what kind of reaction he would get. He liked to see the General's reactions. He always had, whether good or bad.

He was not disappointed. Hux shivered, but kept his widened eyes on the woman in his arms.

That was good enough, Kylo felt.

"Come, let's make sure she gets safely to her rooms," Kylo said as he turned around, gesturing for Hux to precede him out the door.

He admired the view of the tall, powerful man carrying the small yet strong woman in his arms. There was something timeless about the way Hux was carrying Rey, and it grabbed and held his attention the entire way back to Rey's quarters. Perhaps seeing those two together wouldn't be such a problem after all.


	6. Aggression

Rey woke to the sound of her alarm at six in the morning, just as she had done every morning since arriving on the ship. Yet this morning, she had no recollection of how she'd gotten into her bed the night before. The last thing she remembered was curling up in a chair in the Knight's Lounge after midnight and listening as the General and her Master had conversed. She distinctly remembered Hux's passion when speaking about Starkiller, and her nodding acquiescence and grudging understanding of its use in the war… then nothing.

Tossing back the sheets and standing, it took her a long moment to realize that she wasn't in her over robe anymore. In fact, it was draped neatly over the foot of her bed, and she was left standing there in her sleep shirt and smallclothes.

Rey could only remember snatches of movement, murmured voices, and the feeling of strong arms beneath her back. Try as she might, she could not remember anything further.

She looked down at her body and flushed. Well, obviously one or both of the men had put her to bed. She wasn't really upset about them seeing her body; no, she had always felt fairly comfortable in her own skin… This was different, though. One of these two men, both of whom she was attracted to, had carried her to bed. She knew it had to be one of them – she would have woken if anyone else had touched her, even exhausted as she was. This was something she just _knew_. But why hadn't they simply woken her up and sent her away from the Lounge on her own two feet? Instead, they had let her sleep, carried her here, and made sure she was safely and comfortably tucked into bed. There was something almost _sweet_ about the whole thing, but thinking that just made her more confused. She'd never thought that she'd be thinking of either of those men in that way.

Rey froze as a thought suddenly crossed her mind. What if they hadn't liked what they'd seen, either of them? She knew that she wasn't the epitome of feminine ideals. Honestly, she'd never really _cared_. She still didn't, not really, but… what if she wasn't what they liked? Did it matter? Rey was suddenly self-conscious of her body, in a way she'd never been before. She remembered the lust that had filled Kylo's gaze the other morning, vividly, but that could have been a reaction natural to any red-blooded male in the presence of a barely-dressed female.

At the very least, she hoped that she hadn't snored, or drooled, or something just as awful, all over them. That would be impossible to live down, if she had.

She shrugged and rolled her neck, reveling in the cracks that the action elicited. Well… there was nothing she could do about it, now, in any case.

It was time to get ready for another day. Today, though… she felt different. More assured; more confident… more relaxed.

Less than an hour later, Kylo Ren was at her door. She could _feel_ his presence even before the chime rang to announce his arrival. At least this time she was completely dressed and ready for him. Rey opened the door as she put the final touches on her hairstyle, and gave a little nod. "Master," she greeted. He nodded back at her and, even with the mask firmly on his head, the movement looked graceful and sleek.

Rey fell back on her courtesies immediately, deciding to thank him preemptively. "I wished to say thank you for… carrying me back here last night. You didn't need to do that. I apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused."

Her Master was silent for such a long moment that she wasn't sure he would respond at all to her thanks. Finally, he spoke gruffly in reply. "The General carried you. I simply made sure you arrived here."

Rey blinked, slightly surprised. The General had carried her? She wasn't sure why that surprised her more than the idea of her Master carrying her, but it did…

Kylo stepped forward, expressing his intent to enter her room with his body alone, and cutting off all current thoughts in her head at the motion. He stalked past her once she moved aside and the nearness of his body sent a shiver down her spine. Pushing that sensation down almost as soon as it appeared, she turned towards the man who was standing in the middle of her living space. He had his back to her and his mask was still on, cowl pulled over his head. In his hand, however…

"It's time you started to practice with this." His voice was toneless through the filter as he turned around, but Rey couldn't care less. She stared at her lightsaber – the one that had once belonged to Luke, the one which she had brought with her in her bag to the First Order – and reached her hand out slowly before jerking it back and staring into the eyes of the mask before her.

It had been his grandfather's before it had belonged to Luke. His grandfather, who he _idolized_ , had once owned this lightsaber, and he was returning it to her? Didn't he want it for himself, the last time he had had it in his sights?

"I… are you sure, Master?" she whispered. Rey recognized the implications of him handing over the lightsaber – and not just to have during practice hours. He was giving it to her to carry at all times. He trusted her and her intentions enough to allow her to carry a powerful weapon on her person around _his_ ship… _their_ ship. Rey felt a soaring sense of happiness and belonging at this simple – but loaded – gesture of faith. "Thank you," she choked out before he could even respond or – worse yet – change his mind.

She placed her hand on the hilt in his outstretched palm but, before she could pull it away from him, his other hand darted up and gripped her wrist where it lay on the saber. "You will not disappoint me, Rey. You will not betray me." He stated these as if they were facts; as if he knew that she would do neither of these things. The cool leather of his glove was firm against her wrist, yet she didn't feel trapped. Instead, all she wished to do was prove to him that his faith in her was not misplaced. She'd never had anyone believe in her before; not like this, with such assurance. It was a heady feeling.

All Rey could do was stare at him wide-eyed and nod her head. That seemed to be good enough for her Master, and he dropped his grip on her wrist before wrapping her fingers around the hilt using his own hand. She stilled under his touch, staring at his hand over hers. She strongly wished that he was not wearing his mask – she wished she could see his expression right now as he held her hand, expressing his belief in her. She wished she could look him the eyes and see the candor that she could only hear in his voice. Slowly, he released his grip, making sure that she had a firm grasp on the hilt before removing his hands completely from around her own.

As he stepped back from her, Rey clipped her lightsaber to her belt and smoothed her over robe back down over her hips, making sure that she could access her weapon easily.

He made to step towards the door, but stopped short after just one step. He peered at her through the mask. "The morning after next, we attack D'Qar," he uttered slowly, as if assessing her reaction.

Rey was momentarily taken aback, but quickly regained her composure. She squared her shoulders and faced her Master – the representation of her new life. She knew that this day would come; a day when she would have to face her former allies in battle. She hadn't quite expected it to come so soon, but… she would do what she must. She'd made her bed. She'd chosen her allies. She would not disappoint them.

Rey bowed the proper depth for an apprentice to her Master. "Yes, my lord." Her voice remained steady, though inside she was filled with worry, doubt, and fear – could she _truly_ attack her former allies, even if they had rejected her and been responsible for her time spent on Jakku? She knew that this was a test, far beyond the now-simple return of her lightsaber. She _must_ not fail; not when she had finally found a place to belong.

He simply looked at her for another minute while she held her bow. She could feel his eyes on the back of her head. "Come, it is time for your morning weapons training." With that, he swept from her room, leaving Rey to swiftly catch up.

* * *

It was late morning by the time General Hux found his way down to the Knights' training facilities once again, drawn as ever to the woman who was quickly taking over his waking – and dreaming – thoughts. The simple memory of her slim form in his arms last night had set a fire in his blood since the moment he'd woken this morning, and had consumed him throughout his duties. He wasn't even sure how he'd managed to get through his reports this morning; he'd simply looked up after a few hours and realized he was finished with them. He was convinced that he'd done them all correctly, at least…

The way that Rey had listened to him last night, wanting and eager to understand… the way that she had curled up into the chair and the firelight had danced across her skin and unpinned hair… the curve of her muscular calf, and the way her head had tucked so comfortably beneath his as he carried her to her rooms… And that _blasted_ man, Kylo Ren, playing his infernal games with him, as usual. He'd have to try harder not to show a reaction in the future – though deep down he wasn't sure he _wanted_ to.

Hux shivered, and then glanced around surreptitiously to make sure that no one had caught his lapse.

He was saved from further introspection with his arrival in the main training room. His eyes immediately sought out and found Rey where she was being approached by Asha and Ja'al Ren. It seemed that he was just in time for sparring. He was eager to see the young woman in action, though he wondered at both Knights being involved. He shrugged; he was sure that she could handle it.

The other trainees backed off to form a loose circle around the two Knights and Rey. Hux propped himself up against the entranceway's frame; his height afforded him a decent view of the sparring area, at least.

"Begin," Asha Ren intoned. She jumped straight into combat, her blunted short sword cutting aggressively towards Rey.

As Rey jumped straight back, he noticed a flash of silver at her waist. So, the First Knight had given her the lightsaber back. Good. Not that it had been his decision, but he felt that she could at least be reasonably trusted not to attack anyone here with it.

Rey was holding a heavy metal quarterstaff as if she knew how to use it – and use it she did. She darted around Asha's second strike, pivoting on her heel so that she could keep both of her opponents in her field of vision. Ja'al Ren's longsword met Rey's staff and she pushed herself off of it and into a block against Asha's sword.

The clash of weapons went on for long minutes, and Hux could see that Rey was doing quite an adequate job of holding off both Knights. The skin that he could see exposed on Rey's form was starting to bead with sweat, however, as he was sure she wasn't used to maintaining such long combat as of yet. All it would take was one misstep…

There.

Hux drew in a sharp breath as one of Rey's ankles twisted underneath of her. She fell to the ground and – before she could roll away or jump to her feet as he saw she was preparing herself to do – Ja'al Ren was standing over her. Rey had barely enough time to raise her staff with one hand in a block before the Twi'lek was upon her.

With his second strike, he knocked her staff aside, and struck her across the cheek with the flat of his blade. Rey's head snapped to the side and back, and she fell over onto her back. The Knight jumped onto her as Asha stilled, holding her blade at ease in front of her. She tilted her head, as if curious to see what her compatriot was doing.

Rey threw a punch from the floor and Ja'al roared as it made contact with his nose. He threw his blade to the side and wrapped his hands around Rey's neck, pinning her much smaller form to the ground with his large body. There was nowhere for her to go; nowhere for her to escape to as her air supply was quickly cut off.

Rey raised her hands and gasped out a barely audible "Yield!"

The Knight gave no indication that he'd heard.

Asha Ren stepped forward. "Ja'al, she has yielded!"

Nothing.

Hux strode forward, his long gait eating up the space between him and the two forms on the ground. He didn't even bother speaking – for one thing, he was seeing red, and for another he knew that the Knight would refuse to listen to him. The General simply grabbed one of Asha Ren's blaster pistols from her holster – they had much more firepower than his standard officer's pistol – lifted it, and shot the Twi'lek in the shoulder.

The Knight roared, jumping to his feet as Rey gulped in a large mouthful of air.

His light armor smoldering over his wound, he made to step towards the General, bloodlust swirling in his eyes. Hux pointed the pistol straight between his eyes. "Lady Rey has yielded, Ja'al." He refused to grant the other man the courtesy of his proper title. Without taking his eyes off of the Twi'lek, he addressed the other Knight. "Lady Asha, I believe that practice is over."

She was silent a moment before finally raising her voice. "You heard the General. Practice is over!"

Soon, the room was empty except for him and Rey, still on her back and breathing hard through her mouth. She was staring up at the ceiling high above her, and only flicked her gaze towards him when he came to stand above her. "Hi," she greeted him, flashing him a tired smile.

He crouched down beside her, and brought his fingertips to rest just above the skin of her throat. The flesh was already starting to darken, and the sight filled him anew with rage. He met her eyes and she flinched at the anger radiating from his features. Seeing this, he took a deep breath to calm himself, and placed Asha's blaster on the ground beside him. He lifted his hand from her throat and pushed a loose strand of hair back from her forehead. "Why are you here, Rey?" He asked softly.

She looked puzzled as she replied. "My Master wishes me to practice my weapons skills, General."

"That's not what I mean," he said in the same tone of voice. He pulled his hand back from her forehead and held it out to her as he stood up. She grasped his hand and he pulled her to her feet, and he reveled in the heat of her touch on his palm. He dropped it before it could become inappropriate.

"I… I'm here because I want to find out who I am, General," she replied earnestly, looking up at his face. Her neck was exposed even further to the light and he had to fight to stop himself from finding that Twi'lek and beating the fuck out of him – or shooting him in the head. He wasn't sure which he would prefer at the moment.

He took a moment to process what she said. He remembered Kylo speaking of how she had been kidnapped from a First Order family. He hadn't really thought about it since he had first heard it mentioned, but now he wished he had. He could have been doing something about that during all this flight time.

Instead of replying, he asked another question. "Do you need medical attention?" As she shook her head, Hux stepped backwards and dropped into a short bow. "Lady Rey," he addressed her formally. Then he pivoted around, jacket flaring around his thighs, and strode off before he could properly register the confusion on the woman's face.

He had some queries to make.

* * *

It was just before dinner time and Kylo was on his way to collect Rey from her quarters. He hadn't expected to be this late, but his… conversation… with Ja'al Ren had taken longer than he'd thought it would. He wasn't even sure if the Twi'lek had learned his lesson; he'd been forced to rely on the Force only for the punishment, as he had need of his Knight for tomorrow's attack. During which Kylo would make sure that the Twi'lek and his company were on the _far_ side of the assault from him and Rey.

He was still angry with Asha for waiting over _three hours_ to notify him of what had occurred. He was angry at the General for not telling him what had happened with his apprentice. Actually, he was just angry, period. He stalked through the halls, hands twitching ever closer to his lightsaber, when he heard a yelp in a female voice coming from around the corner.

"I saw the way he stepped in to protect you," a man's voice hissed.

Kylo came to a halt, holding himself still so that he could hear what was being said.

"You must be fucking him to get that sort of reaction out of the General," the man continued. Kylo could place the voice now, based on the reference to Hux: Alek Ren – the trainee whom he and Hux had noticed eyeing Rey that first night in the Knight's Lounge.

That meant…

"I did _no_ such thing." Rey's voice was livid as she hissed her words at the man.

There was a loud thump as a body was thrown into one of the corridor walls. There were a few moments where there was no sound then Rey let out an angry shout. "Get off of me!"

A slap rang out in the air and Rey cried out – Kylo was striding around the corner before he realized what he was doing.

The trainee was grinding against Rey, his hands shoved under her tunic as he leered at her. "If you're giving it to him, I don't see why you can't give it to _me._ "

Kylo felt Rey gather the Force around her, just as he'd been teaching her to channel it this last week. But instead of simply using it to strengthen her limbs, she simply _shoved_ at the man against her with the Force, throwing Alek Ren into the wall across from her. She hadn't moved a muscle. Kylo could feel her eyes dart towards his form as he stalked forward, but he kept his own eyes on the man.

The First Knight engaged the switch on his lightsaber. The corridor was bathed in flickering red light as he advanced on the quivering shape on the floor. He wanted to tear the man apart; he wanted to rage and slash and kill and _maim_ the man with his lightsaber.

He did none of that, however. "I should kill you right now, for daring to touch what is _mine_ ," he snarled.

The man simply cowered further into a ball against the wall. The First Knight was not one to trifle with. Kylo knew it, and so too did this trainee. He was no match for him.

In his peripheral vision, he was aware of Rey taking a step towards him. He tilted his head in her direction while still keeping an eye on Alek, watching to see if the _vermin_ would make a single, wrong move. He hoped that he did.

Rey approached him carefully, and Kylo thought to control his rage. How _dare_ this man touch what was _his_? Someone he had sworn to protect? How dare he touch _anyone_ like this?

"Master," Rey's strong voice cut into the red haze of his malice.

He said nothing, but turned his head to look at her fully, after placing his boot on Alek's throat so that he could not run. He waited, as patiently as he could while feeling like at any moment he would break loose from the chains that held him back.

"Master," she repeated, spreading her hands wide to supplicate him. He growled at her for the action; she did not need to appease _him_. He was the one who should be appeasing _her_.

"Do you wish me to kill him?" He gritted out. He wished so badly that she would accept. He would strike the lesser man down in a second, just for her.

He could see her struggling with how to respond to his question. He knew – he just _knew_ – that part of her wanted desperately to say yes to his question. There was a certain amount of ruthlessness in her that could so easily be tapped…

"No," she cut into his thoughts, stating the word so decisively that Kylo knew she would brook no argument on the issue. "No, Master, I do not wish you to kill him." She stepped towards him, hands raised, and slowly reached out to grab his hand where it gripped his thrumming lightsaber. She flicked the lightsaber off and pushed him back with a hand against his chest that burned like a brand.

She kept her hand on his chest as she shoved her boot into the side of Alek Ren. "Get lost, _kung_. I'll handle you later. _Personally_."

Kylo could appreciate that. He could appreciate revenge. His breaths were finally slowing as he focused on the touch of her hand through his clothes, and he barely noticed when the other man ran off.

Rey's hand clenched into his shirt and she stepped closer, staring intently up into his mask. Her pupils were huge, eyes opened wide as she looked at him, and he felt himself leaning closer to her body. "Did you mean that?" she demanded.

Kylo blinked, stopping his forward motion, and was glad that she couldn't see his confusion. "Did I mean what?" he asked slowly. What was she talking about?

She was silent for a moment as she considered him, eyes narrowing. Finally, she dropped her hand from off of his chest and took a step back. "Never mind," she said softly. "With your leave, Master? I wish to go and spend some time alone." She gestured down the hall towards her chambers.

He nodded in response, still lost in a haze of dissipating rage and growing confusion. His hands were shaking with the need to absolutely _destroy_ something – anything.

"Wait!" he barked at her as she made to turn around.

"Yes, Master?" Her gaze was expectant, her features opened and relaxed.

He lifted his gloved hand to her neck, where a necklace of dark purple bruises in the shape of hands was peeking out from beneath her high-necked collar. He hadn't seen his apprentice since early this morning. He skimmed his fingers over her skin, only to pull them back when she flinched away from his touch, pain flashing across her face.

Kylo growled, low in his throat, at the sight of the bruises marring her flesh.

"Master?" she queried, worry tinting her voice.

"Go," he whispered, clenching his hands into fists. When she didn't move, he spoke again, louder this time. "Go!"

She looked at him one last time, concern on her features – but ultimately she turned around and walked quickly away.

He quivered.

He barely made it to an empty room before he ignited his saber.


	7. Occupation

It was four in the morning and Rey was already dressed and waiting outside of the hangar that contained her Master's command shuttle. The _Finalizer_ was bustling with activity as officers and troops alike made last-minute preparations before their entry into the Ileenium system.

They were really going to do it; _she_ was really going to do it – attack D'Qar.

There would be no turning back after this. Yet, as nervous as Rey was about attacking the Resistance, her mind was also filled with a certain sense of… peace. She was now Rey Ren, a member of the Knights of Ren, apprentice to Kylo Ren, and ally of the First Order. She had a place. She was accepted. She had… whatever this thing was… between her and Kylo Ren and General Hux. Camaraderie? Friendship? Mutual respect?

She shook her head. Whatever it was, it was something special that deserved to be nurtured and acknowledged; it was something that made everything else seem worth it. She'd never had the like before.

Rey lifted one hand to her throat, wincing at the tenderness of the bruises at the touch of her fingertips. Ja'al Ren was someone she could _certainly_ do without, though. His position as a senior Knight limited her responses and reactions to him, but perhaps after yesterday he would back off long enough that she could think of a way to properly handle him. She didn't necessarily like having anyone step in to fight her battles for her, but she had to admit that the General had made quite an entrance.

She pushed herself more firmly back against the corridor wall as a squadron of Stormtroopers jogged by, fully armed and prepared for combat. Her eyes followed them, tracking their movements down the hallway and out of sight. She was still a little leery of the Stormtroopers and their training program after what she'd learned about them from Finn, but as of yet none of them had given her cause to think their lives were terrible. Maybe she just hadn't seen enough of their life on board the ship yet. She was sure there must have been some element of truth to Finn's statements – he had defected as a result, after all – but she had yet to see anything concrete. Perhaps she could ask the General one of these days, when things weren't in such turmoil.

Rey straightened. Coming around the corner was her Master, robe and half-cloak billowing around his striding form. She pushed herself off from the corridor wall and stood at attention as he approached her, zeroing right in on her. He ignored all others as he walked towards her, forcing troops and officers alike to jump out of his path. Rey's lips twitched; they looked rather practiced at the art of avoiding her Master. After seeing him yesterday, in the hall… she could certainly understand. She'd heard the sounds of his rage on her way back to her chambers, but for some reason she was almost… touched by his anger on her behalf. She didn't fully understand it, or why, but she knew that much at least.

Kylo Ren stopped in front of her and gave her a once-over from toes to head. She could not see his eyes, but she could feel them silently assessing her and her readiness. She barely stopped herself from fidgeting with her clothes under his gaze. She was wearing her black training leggings and long undershirt, but had topped the ensemble off with a sleeveless tunic made of what seemed to be the same material as Kylo's robe; the material was thick and would stand up well against a number of different weapons. A leather belt rounded out the ensemble, on which her lightsaber was clipped. On the other side was clipped an expandable quarterstaff, and a thigh holster on her right leg held a blaster pistol. She hadn't exactly been sure which weapons would be appropriate, and so had tracked Asha Ren down in the armory just under an hour ago. The quarterstaff and pistol had been the Knight's idea, and Rey had to admit that she felt comfortable with their use. She had not practiced much with her lightsaber, but she trusted her Master to not leader her into any situation where she could not handle herself with one or the other of her weapons.

"Good, you are prepared adequately," he stated after he had finished raking his eyes over her. Rey shivered with a mixture of pride and that feeling she got every time she saw him in his mask; she wasn't sure she'd ever get used to hearing him speak through the blasted thing. "I have something for you," he added after another moment. He motioned for her to follow him through the hangar doors, across the hangar, and up the ramp into his shuttle. Reaching down for something on one of the jump seats, he directed her to turn around with a twist of his fingers.

Rey felt him crowd behind her, towering over her form as he draped a fold of cloth across the front of her neck and over her shoulders. His gloved hands deftly adjusted the fabric and Rey heard the click of a pin locking in place on each of her shoulders. He gripped her by the shoulders once he was done, but didn't make a move to turn her around. Rey was glad for the emptiness of the vessel, as she could feel her cheeks redden and her breaths were coming quicker. She could _feel_ him behind her, even though there was likely a foot of space between their bodies, and she was overly aware of their only point of contact through her layers of clothes and his gloves.

Rey was the first to break the spell. She turned around but did not step back, looking up into his mask as she lifted her hands up to the fabric on her shoulders. "What is it, Master?" she asked softly, not quite wanting to fully dispel the moment.

He took a few seconds to respond as he slowly lowered his hands back to his sides. "It's a hooded half-cloak, much like mine and the other Knights'," he replied finally. "Go on, pull the hood forward," he instructed.

Rey looked up at him and knew that her expressions were completely clear and open on her face. He had brought her another item to mark her inclusion into the closest thing she had to a family, and that meant more to her than many other things she had experienced in her life. It was a simple gesture – a piece of clothing – but its symbolism was tremendous.

Rey realized that she was frozen in place when the man standing opposite her reached up once again and tugged the hood up and over her hair. He adjusted its fold over her forehead and she shivered as his gloved fingers scraped against her temple. "You haven't trained with a helmet or mask but we can get you one if you so desire," he said as he dropped his hands once more.

She shook her head. "No, sir, I'm more comfortable like this for now," she replied. She was glad that her voice did not shake at least.

"Very well," he nodded. He paused and tilted his head. "One more thing," he said as he turned back to the jump seat. He bent and picked up a small bundle, turning back to Rey and extending the bundle towards her. They were gloves, much like the ones he wore. Black leather, thick but supple, and just the right size for her hands – she discovered as much as she slid them on. She clenched her hands into fists and marveled at how natural they felt over her skin. She knew that they would not interfere with her grip on her weapons, as they moved like they were a second skin, and the palm and underside of the fingers were layered with a secondary material that would prevent her grip from slipping even from sweat or blood.

She glanced up at him from under the edge of her hood. He was watching her intently, holding himself still. "Thank you," she practically whispered. "You don't know what this means–"

Rey was interrupted by the sound of boots tromping up the ramp and into the shuttle. She flicked her eyes up at Kylo once more, but he had already stepped back and was looking at the new arrivals.

Turning slowly, Rey took note of the squad of Stormtroopers and the five Knight trainees who preceded them. She was happy to see that they were all men and women, humans, whom she got along well with, and whom she trusted in combat – at least as far as she could tell during training.

"Get settled in," Kylo greeted them gruffly. "We launch in five minutes." He turned back to Rey and dropped his voice. "You will follow me once we land, Rey. The rest of our group has their own orders, as do the other two squadrons of Stormtroopers accompanying us in their own vessels. We need not concern ourselves with them unless necessary."

"Yes Master," Rey replied, trying to calm her nerves.

"Rey," he stated her name as if it were a sentence all its own.

"Yes?" she looked up into his mask.

"You will do well," was all he said before turning and joining the pilot in the cockpit.

Rey took a deep breath and firmed her shoulders before settling into one of the jump seats, buckling herself in. She _would_ do well. She'd never given anything but her best. Until they landed, however, she'd enjoy the sensations of flying once again; it would serve as a good distraction for her worries of the battle to come, and the part she'd played in making it happen.

* * *

Rey and Kylo had avoided any physical combat so far. Once they had landed, he had taken her to a vantage point which afforded them a necessary view of the Resistance base and its defenses. She had an excellent view of the First Order sweeping in and completely taking over the airspace, fighters and shuttles alike quickly dominating her field of vision.

There had been little left to fight. It seemed that the Resistance had interpreted Rey's disappearance correctly as defection, and had finally started to move their base to another planet out of fear of their defense network being compromised. Reports were coming in over Kylo's comm link that there were only approximately four hundred fighters left on the Resistance base, total. There was no sign of General Organa, or any of the upper ranks of the Resistance – it seemed more and more likely that the First Order had come upon the Resistance as they were wrapping up the last details of their move.

It was easy. There would still be fighting for a while yet, but the First Order would be victorious. Rey felt at once relieved and upset – relieved that there were not a lot of Resistance soldiers that would be dying today, and relieved that the First Order would be successful… but upset, as well, on the behalf of the Resistance. She knew it was because of her information on the defenses of the base that the Resistance had lost D'Qar today.

"Rey! Saber at the ready." Her Master's voice intruded on her thoughts, and the sound of his lightsaber crackling into activity was unmistakable. She snapped her hand to her belt, pulling her lightsaber out and activating it on autopilot as her eyes darted around for the danger.

Coming out of the tree line behind them was a group of five Resistance foot soldiers, blasters at the ready.

Three of them were angling towards the First Knight and she and Kylo distanced themselves from each other so as to give themselves more room to fight. Rey readied her saber, two hands firmly gripping the hilt, and stepped back into a preparatory stance in anticipation of being fired upon. Her heartrate had increased and she forced herself to breathe normally. Now was not the time to break; she was strong and would overcome this much like she had overcome so much else in her past.

She could tell the exact moment the two Resistance soldiers realized who she was. Their eyes widened and they took on an even more aggressive stance. The man in front swept his eyes over her body, taking in the style of her clothing with anger. His eyes flicked towards her Master, then back towards her. "So it _is_ true," he growled. Rey realized with a start that she recognized him. She hadn't really interacted with him a whole lot, but she knew him from her brief stint on the base over a month ago – had it really only been a month or so? It felt like far longer…

The man – Peter, she thought he was called – took another step towards her, brandishing his blaster at eye level. " _You're_ the reason we had to bail from this place. _You're_ the reason that so many of our people are dying today. But it's not like you care, huh?"

Rey tensed, affronted. "I needed to find a place for myself in the world, Peter – a place where I belonged. If you only knew what the General did to me–"

"I know what she's done for _lots_ of people," he barked. "It means more than anything she could have done to _scum_ like you!"

Rey was so shocked at the vitriol coming from this man, and the anger radiating off of him, that she was barely able to duck the blaster bolt that was fired straight for her head. She had pushed her hood back from her face to fall over her back earlier in the hour since they'd landed, and she could smell a hint of charred hair coming from the top of her head. That had been close – he wasn't pulling any punches, it seemed.

And why should he? He thought her a traitor to the Resistance. And truly… she was. She had to admit that much, especially now, as she stood here over the smoldering structures of a former Resistance powerhouse, at the side of an enemy who had brought nothing but pain to their people for over a decade, and she herself standing against them, armed.

She supposed she _was_ a traitor. If finding her own path in the world after being rejected by who you _thought_ were the good guys – after being kidnapped from her family by said _good_ guys and spending over a decade on a godforsaken desert planet when they knew _exactly_ where she was the whole time – if all that made her a traitor, then damn it, she'd be a traitor.

It also didn't hurt that these two men were trying to kill her.

Rey could no longer hear any sounds of battle to her left, where her Master was standing. She didn't risk looking towards him, but she could feel that he was alive, at least. Her concentration was taken up wholly by the two men before her, both of whom were now charging at her. She ran to meet them both before they could fire anything more from their blasters. She knew that she didn't have enough training in deflecting them with her lightsaber – technically, she had _none_ in that art – and so she felt it would be prudent to disarm them before they could fire again.

Slicing her saber towards Peter's blaster, she cut it in half before he could pull it back, then kicked him aside and sliced the other man's blaster as well. Before she could reassess the situation, she was set upon from behind by Peter. He kicked her in the back of the leg and she went down with a grunt of pain, only to be punched in the side of the face by the smaller man. Her head whipped around with a crack but she immediately brought it back around and head-butted the man in front of her, straight in the stomach.

He went down with a strangled cry, his breath knocked out of him for the moment. She was quickly set upon by the other man, however, before she could neutralize her original target. Peter was much larger than her, and his hands wrapped tightly around her neck, digging right into the bruises already marring her skin. The pain was double, if not triple, what it would have been on a day where she was fully healed.

Drawing on the Force, Rey roared as she suddenly shoved the man off of her. She couldn't do much on command yet, but moving people off of her was quickly becoming one of her go-to, easy to use skills. Peter flew off of her and hit a tree with a resounding _crack_ , and she stalked towards him, ignoring the other man as he fled into the forest and away from her.

She was fuming with anger, fueled by despair. She couldn't stop and dwell on what had brought her to this point in her life, but neither could she let go of what Peter had said. Her life was better than anything she had ever had before. It may not be perfect, but how dare he make accusations about something that he would _never_ come close to understanding? He had not been kidnapped from his family; he had not been abandoned 'by accident' on a desert planet; he had not been knowingly left there years later when something could have been done about it, finally; he had not been shunned by those whom he had expected to welcome him with open arms; he had not been denied necessary teaching to something essential to his being… and he had not found acceptance in the fold of an organization where he'd never expected to find family or friendship.

He was trying to take that away from her with his words, but she wouldn't let him.

Peter had slid onto the ground in a broken heap by the time she made her way over to him; he wasn't going anywhere. He glared at her defiantly from his prone position, and spat at her as she finally stood over him. She didn't blink. She said nothing. She felt hollow except for a small bundle of anger deep within her heart.

"He'll betray you one of these days, you know," Peter bit out past the pain. "It's in his nature."

Rey frowned at him. "No. He won't." She had to believe her words; there was nothing that she could do at this point except believe them. Everything Kylo Ren had shown her so far had proven her words to be true. She could only believe that they would continue to hold true.

Peter's breaths rattled. "I hope he does, you First Order slut. Then I hope that he dies a painful death at the hands of someone – anyone. As long as he's _dead_."

Rey's bundle of anger sparked and grew inside of her. "Don't you _dare_ threaten him," she ground out.

Peter only laughed at her words, though the sound quickly morphed into a gurgling noise. Blood frothed from his lips.

Rey wasn't sure if it was the laughter or the blood that caused her to put her saber through his heart.

* * *

Kylo met her eyes when she turned back towards him and started walking. She kept them trained on his the entire way back, her shoulders square and her chin held high. He was proud of her. She had stood her ground and comported herself well; he hadn't needed to step in and interfere. He was glad to have had the chance to sit back and watch her fight a real enemy, after he had dispatched his own three opponents. It was her first kill for the First Order; her first kill as a Knight of Ren; her first kill as his apprentice. And it had been someone whom she had once seen as an ally.

It wasn't until she was within twenty feet of him that he realized she had tears streaming down her cheeks.

He stood, silently observing her, until she arrived right in front of him. She stared at him for a moment, then nodded, firming her jaw and hardening her eyes.

He nodded back. No words needed to be said on the topic – not unless she wished. She had done well; done what was necessary. That was all that was needed of her for today. He ignored the tears still flowing over her flushed skin; though his hands twitched with the desire to rub them off of her and give her cause to dry her eyes.

But not now.

"We will make our way into the base proper and assist in tying up any loose ends we might encounter," he said instead.

She nodded and pulled her hood up with the hand that was not carrying her saber hilt. "Let's do it." He felt a surge of renewed pride at the firmness and conviction of her tone, even if he knew that she was pushing her pain to the side to deal with later.

They made their way towards the base's central structures, eyes peeled for any straggler with a gun. Kylo kept his awareness tuned to his surroundings via the Force, as well. It was through said awareness that he sensed a struggle up ahead that –

"That _blasted_ man," Kylo hissed, increasing his pace to just shy of a jog. Rey had to jog to keep up, though, and her hood soon fell back over her shoulders once more as the air currents caught the fabric.

"What is it?" Rey asked, barely winded, from his side.

Kylo glanced sidelong at her. A certain amount of dry humor carried through his mask as he replied to her. "The General has seen fit to join us on the ground and has made himself a lovely target for the remaining Resistance soldiers, as far as I can tell. Which, if he would think _properly_ sometimes, he would have realized _before_ it became a problem – namely, before he even decided to come to the surface."

Kylo had to admit that the General had a good mind for combat strategy, but the man's love for physical combat itself sometimes made him quick to jump the gun. There shouldn't have been a problem joining in the ground operation with this attack, however, if Kylo were honest with himself. Sometimes things seemed like a perfectly acceptable risk, and then you could be blindsided by something you hadn't foreseen.

…Like three dozen Resistance soldiers backed into a corner, fighting for their lives against two dozen Stormtroopers. General Hux was in the thick of things, and Kylo was tempted to sit back and watch the wiry but strong man fend for himself, pistol aimed with deadly accuracy. It would not only teach the man a lesson, but he'd also be able to enjoy the view until it was absolutely necessary to intercede…

"Master? Are we going to help?" Rey's voice was strong but worried as it intruded on his thoughts.

He blinked, then slowly looked at his apprentice's smaller form. Her face was turned up to him, and her worry for the General was readily apparent. Suppressing a twinge of jealousy, he replied evenly. "Yes. Can you climb?"

At her fervent nod and quick grin, he motioned towards the wall that the Resistance fighters had backed themselves against. "We'll climb together, then jump into their midst. You will have to fight to kill, Rey. They will be trying to kill you, and me, and the General. If we're all to make it out of here alive, it's them over us. They made their choice. _You_ made yours." He wasn't sure why he'd added in the life lesson, but he somehow knew she needed it.

She nodded again. "Yes Master," she replied. She said no more, and her expression remained committed – even slightly exhilarated.

They climbed the wall together, quickly and easily, and dropped into the fray. Rey landed and immediately activated her saber, stepping backwards until there was barely a half foot between her back and that of the First Knight's.

He kept his senses partially tuned to Rey's as he fought, reverting to a form which he could use in close quarters with a partner at his back. As much as he liked his typical showy style, he knew when it was not an appropriate choice.

Kylo could feel flashes of anger and pain and sadness from the young woman as she fought, cutting down enemy after enemy – yet she didn't falter. With each person she struck down, it became easier for her; she was no longer broadcasting her emotions as strongly by the sixth, and by the ninth she had become numb. He wasn't quite sure if that was a good thing or not. But he was practical – as long as she didn't dissolve into a sobbing mess on the ground, she remained a strong ally.

A whirl of black shot through the thinning enemy ranks, pistol raised, and Kylo and Rey instinctively angled themselves so that Hux could put his back to theirs as well. He was glad Rey had had the wherewithal to realize who had been barreling towards them – it would not have been amusing to see Hux dead at the wrong end of a lightsaber… or to have to punish or kill his apprentice for the mistake. His mind flinched away from both thoughts as soon as they entered his mind. There was no time for that right now.

Kylo took a step forward and stalked some of the stragglers, lightsaber crackling at his side. They had stopped coming towards him after the press of live bodies had dissipated, and he was keen on taking the fight to them instead. He felt Hux fill in the space he had left behind, back against Rey's, and nodded to himself. The other man was doing what he'd promised earlier that week.

Quickly dispatching the remaining Resistance soldiers in front of him, he turned around to make his way back to the man and woman he'd left behind – but something was wrong. Hux was on the ground, with Rey standing over him, a foot on either side of his hips, brandishing her saber at the only remaining Resistance soldier and snarling. The man she was facing was laughing at her and holding a blaster in his hand – obviously what had caused the smoking ruin in Hux's jacket over his side.

Before Kylo could do anything, he felt the Force surge around him. He watched, stunned, as Rey lifted her empty left hand towards the Resistance soldier. The soldier was lifted off of his feet and he dropped his blaster in favor of grabbing desperately at his throat. "How _dare_ you!" Rey shouted at him as she tightened her fingers. The man turned even redder. "You dare try to take one of the few good things remaining in my life?" Before the man could lose consciousness, she threw him into the wall with the Force. His skull cracked so hard that Kylo was sure he'd be dead within moments, but he wasn't so sure that his apprentice cared at the moment. She had already turned and crouched beside Hux, lightsaber deactivated and clipped to her belt again. Kylo strode forward, standing over them both as he watched the remaining Stormtroopers check for survivors. Most of his attention and concern was directed at the two humans at his feet, however.

So… his Rey had used a Force choke without even thinking about it. She was powerful, indeed, but her volatility had nearly gotten the better of her. She would have to learn how to focus that rage…

"General?" she queried, voice still fierce, angry, and protective. She cleared her throat, her expression softening along with her voice. "General?" she asked again, quieter.

"Call me… Hux," he gasped through the pain. "If I take a shot aimed for you, I think that puts us…" he gritted his teeth, "past formalities. You think?"

Rey swallowed, looking up at Kylo briefly before returning her attention back to the redhead. "…Hux?" Oddly enough, Kylo liked the sound of the man's name on her tongue. He couldn't imagine how he'd feel if she spoke the other man's given name… "Are you going to be alright?" she asked.

Hux breathed deeply through his nose, and grunted midway through his exhale. He was silent a moment as he listened to his comm link – it had activated a split second after she'd finished speaking. He lifted his wrist to his mouth, took another deep breath, and activated the microphone on his link. His voice was clear and authoritative; there was no hint of the pain he was experiencing in his voice. "The day is won! D'Qar is ours. Activate occupation protocols. General Hux out."

As soon as he released his comm link, his eyes rolled back in his head and he promptly passed out.

Before the Stormtroopers could notice, Kylo swooped down and gathered Hux into his arms, mindful of the wound on his side. He wasn't sure where exactly he'd been hit, but it looked like the hip. He held the thinner man much like Hux himself had carried Rey the other night, mainly because it was the easiest method with a wound such as that.

Rey stood up with Kylo, but she stopped him before he could start moving away from the area. "Please, one moment," she asked. Reaching up, she unpinned her half-cloak, gathering the folds of heavy fabric in her hands and then placing them over Hux's upper body. She arranged the hood so that it covered most of the General's face and all of his hair, her hands gentle as she tucked it around the other man's body. The touch of her fingers on Kylo's arms, even through the fabric of his sleeves, was enough to make him quake briefly. He wasn't sure, but he thought he saw her glance up at him sharply after that, but she shook her head and bent back to her work before he could say anything.

Rey finally stepped back and answered his unspoken question. "I figured he wouldn't want his troops or officers to know that he's been injured," she said, and Kylo was struck again by the deep well of caring and _light_ in this slip of a woman. It was much the same as what he'd been thinking, but he hadn't really planned to do anything about it besides carry Hux to his shuttle and bring him to the medical bay once back on the _Finalizer._ "We can bring him straight to his quarters, right? If the wound isn't too terrible, I mean." It was as if she were echoing his thoughts, at least partially. "He doesn't seem the type to like public treatment, I'd imagine."

He stared at her through his mask for countless seconds until she huffed at him and glared. Finally, he replied, "Yes," and then strode off towards his shuttle. Rey ran into the cockpit on his orders, following his instructions on how to prep the shuttle for takeoff and flight back to the star destroyer. He trusted her skills with piloting enough to get them there in one piece as he focused on assessing the General's injuries where he lay across Kylo's lap. He refused to set him down.

He was silent the entire way back, pondering what, exactly, had occurred down on D'Qar.

Much more than an occupation had begun.


	8. Frustration

**Note: First part is NSFW. Also, I'd like to thank everyone for their support as I repost this. *hugs* xoxo**

* * *

He leaned down and captured Rey's lips for the first time. They were soft and moist, and slightly parted from the startled gasp she'd released right before he'd touched his lips to hers. She didn't move for a long moment, unresponsive beneath his mouth, until finally she made a sound of pure need deep in her throat and returned his kiss with a passion and fervor that made him shiver in response.

Rey wrapped her arms around his neck, lifting herself up so that she could press her body against his in its entirety. The feel of her breasts pressed firmly against his chest, even through the layers of their clothes, was exquisite, and their lips parted briefly so that they could share a gasp of pleasure.

Her eyes were hooded as she tilted her neck back to meet his gaze, pupils blown. She was aroused and breathing hard, but showed no fear. It was one of the aspects of her character that had drawn him to her. She was fierce and strong-willed and independent, and it made it all the more meaningful that she would show him this side of her nature.

The bare column of her throat was utterly enticing and he couldn't help but to bend over her and latch onto the flesh. She moaned as he made contact with her skin, dragging his teeth upwards until they rested beneath her ear, and he stilled, breathing in the scent of her body that seemed most prominent in that little hollow. He let out the breath he'd dragged in, ghosting the moist air over Rey's skin and delighting in the way her body quaked as a result.

"Taj…" His name came out from between her lips, barely more than a breath, and her hands reached up to grasp at his collar. She was fumbling at the buttons, trying to undo them.

That drove him _wild_. The sound of his name on her lips; he just _had_ to capture what they taste like. His mouth crashed against hers once more, and her lips tasted divine. They parted beneath his onslaught, and his tongue swept into her mouth to caress hers.

Never one to give in, Rey pushed against his chest slowly but surely, driving him back towards his bed, even as one of her hands was wrapped around the back of his neck to draw him closer to her lips and tongue.

Finally, the backs of his knees hit his bed and, with a final shove, he was on his back, with Rey sprawled over his chest. Their mouths had disconnected in the descent, but she was quick to scramble back to him, straddling his waist, and plundering his mouth again. One of her hands was bracing herself on the bed beside his head, and the other was drifting over his face and hair, nails scratching at the latter.

The sensation was _amazing._ He'd never felt anything more delectable. He felt himself growing harder, firmer; surely Rey would notice any moment now…

She sat back, flushed and breathing heavily. Her hands were halfway to his collar again when she stilled and her eyes went completely wide. " _Oh_ ," she gasped. "I… is that…?"

He didn't wait for her to complete her sentence, instead flipping her over quickly so that her back was to the mattress and he was leaning over her, her legs spread wide on either side of his hips. He pressed against her with his hips and her eyes fluttered shut. She arched her hips against him in response, experimentally, and he could tell she liked it. The friction, the press, the weight of it… everything about it. He leaned forward again, pressing them more tightly together, and brushed his lips over hers again. "Yes," he finally answered, though it was completely needless at that point. "It is." He slipped his tongue between her lips again, kissing her fully and soundly.

He pulled back and took stock of her dazed expression. It was amazing that he could have such an effect on her, just from the little they'd done so far…

Skimming his hand down her chest and across her stomach, he curled his fingers under the hem of her black training shirt. The other hand ended up against the small of her back, pressed firmly against her overheated skin, and he used it as support for Rey as he lifted her up and quickly whipped her shirt up and over her head. Before she could express her startlement, he bent his head and latched onto one of her nipples, his fingers scraping across her lower back with his trimmed nails.

Rey's head tilted back and she arched her chest towards him, pushing her breast more firmly against his lips and tongue. "Oh my – _Taj_!" she panted, and he could tell that she was overwhelmed with the sensations he was pulling from deep within her.

"Never felt that before, huh, Rey?" he smirked down at her, and then nipped at her hardened nipple again.

"No," she breathed. She brought her hands up to cup his face, and then lowered them to tug at his jacket. "Off, damn it," she ordered.

Bossy little thing, wasn't she? But he adored it. He adored _her_.

Pulling back, he quickly divested himself of his jacket, belt, and undershirt. His chest was hairless except for a small trail near his waistband, and he could see her eyes widen noticeably as they tracked the hair down, down, _down_. After a moment, she brought her eyes back up, higher, and traced the fingers of both her hands over his pectoral muscles, then down to his own nipples. She grinned in delight as his body jerked in response to her tweaking the bundles of nerves, then gasped as his hips slammed reflexively into hers, grinding his hardness against her heated core.

He threw his head back, reveling in the sensation. Rey was so responsive beneath him, and he just wanted this moment to last forever.

Rey's eyes caught on something behind him, and she stilled, her eyes widening in a way that they hadn't before. Before he could ask what had caught her attention, he felt a pair of large hands caress over his bare back.

 _Kylo._

He just _knew_ it was Kylo. The feel of his callused, powerful hands, brushing over his back, up his sides, past his body and onto Rey's stomach as Kylo pressed against his back… he just _knew_ that it was him without needing to see the light dusting of black hair on the other man's forearms.

The look on Rey's face, how receptive she was of Kylo touching her skin, skimming his fingers over her breasts and against her nipples… held him still. He was captivated – and _captive_ , pressed between the hard planes of Kylo's half-naked body and Rey's softer, smaller one.

Kylo's lips touched his neck, ghosting across the tendon.

He hadn't felt this on fire in _years_ and it was all because of these two – and he'd thought it couldn't get any better than when it was just him and Rey. There was just something so… illicit… about this, and the look in Rey's eyes, smoldering three times as much as before… he wasn't threatened by the other man – he was completely turned on, overwhelmed with passion, to be caught between the two.

Rey reached up with one hand and dragged Kylo around until the darker man's lips were pressed against hers. Her other hand drifted down the front of his body even as he was distracted by the beauty of Kylo and Rey practically _consuming_ each other, but he definitely took note when her hand brushed over his hardened length through his pants, growing bolder as she went. Her fingers slowly worked his button and fly down as he held his breath, eyes riveted on hers where she was holding his gaze as Kylo kissed her.

Suddenly her hand was wrapped around his hard, bare length, and he surged forward into her hand with a gasp and –

* * *

Hux sat straight up in bed, panting and flushed and _hot_ and oh, so _hard._

"Fuck!" he groaned.

He fell back onto his pillows with another few choice cuss words, throwing one hand over his eyes and wincing at the pain that was blazing through his side. It did nothing to lessen his erection, however – in some ways it made it worse, because the pain brought with it the image of Rey standing over him, fierce as a goddess of war and retribution, protecting _him_ when he should have been there for her. Rey… she was glorious and beautiful and in absolutely _no_ need of his protection. And that was fine by him.

But her body, wrapped around his… _that_ had seemed just as real.

Yet it had all been a blasted _dream_. Fuck.

Hux willed his body and mind into stillness as he heard footsteps running into his bedroom. The stillness made it possible for him to hear faint breathing sounds coming from the right side of his bed.

Hux cracked an eye open. "Fuck," he said again as he spotted Kylo sitting in a chair beside the mattress. Thoughts of large hands and heated kisses immediately flooded his mind – which in turn did _nothing_ for his state of arousal, even in the presence of this particular person.

Rey had just run into the bedroom as well, and was standing over her Master's shoulder, staring down at Hux with an expression of expectation and joy that was slowly morphing into one of embarrassment but _fascination_ as her eyes trailed down his body in a thorough appraisal.

She blushed and finally looked away, averting her eyes, but not leaving.

Kylo, however… Kylo hadn't taken his eyes off of Hux's bare chest and hardened length – thankfully covered by his undershorts and the bedsheet, though they truly did not hide much – eyes flickering between the two with flagrant heat. Kylo looked thoroughly relaxed, sprawled in the comfortable chair with his legs stretched out in front of him, elbows resting on the armrests and his mask off.

He looked very similar to the way the Kylo in his dreams had looked, relaxed and sensuous and full of _heat_ , and it just made Hux flush even more. Yet he didn't cover himself up. He didn't hide. There was no use, for one thing. For another, it was definitely _not_ in his nature to hide. He was sure that this was all part of Kylo's own nature, anyway; his favorite game to play seemed to be 'make the General uncomfortable,' and he played the game _so_ well sometimes. He didn't even need to say anything; all he had to do was twitch his full lips into that _kriffing_ smirk of his, the one that spoke volumes, and Hux just _knew_ what he was thinking.

However… he wasn't sure if the First Knight had any idea just what had given him this hard-on. He was sure the man could look and see if he so wished, but he sure hoped he didn't. The other man might like to _play_ with Hux, but seeing Hux's arousal for Kylo might entirely repulse him. He had no idea if Kylo was into that sort of thing, and seeing it could ruin their camaraderie and mutual respect. There was a reason he kept some aspects of his personal life separate and private in this military organization.

Hux chose to ignore him, pushing himself up on his pillows until he was leaning – somewhat uncomfortably – back against the headboard and staring at the two Knights gracing his rather _private_ rooms. Kylo, as he'd noticed before, looked relaxed and as if he were enjoying himself far too much, but Rey… she looked almost frantic, disheveled and… worried. That, more than anything, calmed his body down enough that he felt comfortable with speaking, finally.

"What are you both doing in my rooms? What happened?" he queried calmly. "I remember everything up until I–"

"Until you fainted," Kylo deadpanned.

Hux glared, all remaining thoughts of the dream removing themselves from his mind with the frightening alacrity that only anger could bring.

Before Hux could say anything, Rey made a displeased noise in her throat and moved around her Master's chair so that she could sit on the edge of the bed, near the foot. The flush had disappeared from her cheeks but her pupils were blown wide in a way that reminded Hux of his dream. It didn't help that her gaze was flitting back and forth between him and Kylo, assessing the situation and the glances that both men had been giving each other. She looked… Hux didn't know how to describe it, but she certainly didn't seem disgusted.

"General, forgive my Master, he–" she started.

"Hux," he interrupted before she could get any further.

"Pardon?" her eyes met his, startled.

"I told you to call me Hux," he reminded her gently. The smile that graced her lips was well worth the rudeness of the interruption.

"Hux," she breathed his name. "I wasn't sure you'd meant it; not really. I was worried you were delirious or something…"

She trailed off as Hux struggled to lean forward, reaching out with his hand to grip her chin and drag her face gently towards his so that he could look her in the eye. He ignored the pain beating at his senses as he stated, calmly, "I always mean what I say."

Rey's eyes were wide, but she nodded as best she could with his hand grasping her chin, her skin warm and dry against his fingers. Her eyes never left his; never blinked.

Kylo snorted, and the spell was broken. Rey blinked and leaned back as Hux dropped his hand, turning to glare again at the troublesome Knight. "What's so funny, _Ren_?" he ground out.

"You always mean what you say?" He laughed again, sitting straighter in his chair.

"Tell me a time that I didn't mean what I said," Hux challenged, lifting his chin.

That brought Kylo up short. He stopped laughing as he thought, then finally shrugged.

"Thought so," Hux muttered, turning back to Rey. "You were saying, Rey?"

Rey glanced up – had she been staring at his chest? – and met his eyes again. He liked that about her; her lack of fear in meeting his eyes. So often he encountered officers and troops and citizens alike who refused to look him in the eye.

"Master carried you to his shuttle and we flew you back here. We brought you to your rooms rather than the medbay because… because…" Rey couldn't find the right words, it seemed.

Kylo continued for his apprentice. "What Rey is trying to say is that she felt you wouldn't want to go to the medbay so she suggested I bring you to your rooms and have a droid come and look at you. You're lucky your injury wasn't any worse – actually, what in the Force were you doing down on the surface _anyway_?" Kylo sneered.

Hux was too busy focusing on Rey's face and the fact that she'd known him – or had guessed – well enough to know that he hated being seen as injured in the public eye. His mind had practically derailed after Kylo had mentioned that tidbit of information. Rey was still meeting his eyes but it looked like she was fighting the impulse to look away, harder than before. Her skin was flushing in an absolutely becoming way, and Hux was again reminded of his dream.

Kylo was continuing on anyway, heedless of the lack of attention the other two were paying him. As soon as Hux heard him mention Rey's name, he broke contact with Rey's gaze and flicked his eyes back over to Kylo. "…of course she didn't want to leave, stubborn girl–" Hux caught Rey flicking a glare at Kylo, "–so of course I stayed here with her, and we trained and meditated while you slept off your _fool_ injury. _Damn it_ , Hux – why couldn't you stick to being a sniper like you'd planned?"

Rey looked even more interested at that, curiosity piqued. "Oh, a sniper?" she queried.

Kylo shot her a look. "No," he replied tiredly, his anger leeching out of him all at once. "Not right now, Rey. There's time enough for that later. You need to sleep. You've been up since the battle yesterday and there is much to do that you'll need to be well-rested for. No, you can ask the General about his past another time."

She looked frustrated and like she was about to open her mouth with a cutting retort – the stubborn set of her chin and shoulders warned Hux of as much – when both Kylo's and Hux's comms lit up, whistling a series of beeps. The exact same sounds were coming from each comm.

"Fuck," it was Kylo's turn to say.

Rey quickly got to her feet as her Master stood swiftly, and as Hux started to struggle from the bed. "What is it?" she asked, worried at the two men's sudden switch in attitude.

"Supreme Leader has called us, likely to provide our report on the attack," Kylo stated flatly. Hux knew the circumstances well enough to know why Kylo's tone was so devoid of emotion; the other man was mentally girding himself for the coming audience with his Master.

Hux stood up, locking his knees against the pain that rushed like fire through his veins. It wouldn't do to fall over in front of either of these two, and it wasn't like he could put off the audience with Snoke. He was absolutely sure that Snoke knew he'd been injured, but had called for him anyway. It was one of the little things that Snoke did to test the loyalty of his strongest and most powerful followers. He'd seen him do it after Kylo's injury on Starkiller, even. His own apprentice had been given no slack; his General certainly wouldn't be.

With the gaze of both Rey and Kylo on him, Hux walked stiffly to his closet, pulling open one of the drawers inside and shaking a pair of uniform pants out. He wasn't bothered by the fact that he was in nothing more than his undershorts, but he _was_ more aware than ever before of their gazes on his body. He could practically _feel_ their eyes roaming over him. He struggled to keep focused on the task of putting one leg through each pant leg at a time, bracing his arm against the closet door for stability.

Buttoning up the pants, finally, he pulled a crisply folded undershirt out from another drawer and quickly pulled it over his head before reaching for one of the hangers housing one of his many uniform jackets.

As he did up each small button, hidden beneath a fold of fabric, he gathered calm around him. It was a ritual that he performed each time he donned his jacket before going on duty; doubly important before an audience with Snoke.

He turned around after a steadying, controlling breath, fastening his belt, only to stop and stare at his bare feet. Making his way to his bed where he spied his boots, he sat gingerly on the edge of the mattress and reached under the bed frame for the knee-high leather boots. He winced as pain stabbed through him, originating from his side, and he stopped to breathe deeply through his nose. He closed his eyes.

A hand on his chest pushed him upright again, and Hux's eyes snapped open. Kylo was kneeling in front of him, boots in hand, his robes spread out around him on the floor. He pulled his hand off of Hux's chest, and Hux could only stare down at Kylo in barely-concealed confusion. He held one of Hux's boots open with one hand, and was already lifting one of his feet into the boot with the other, his fingers burning hot even through the fabric of his pants.

Kylo _had_ to be playing with him. There was no other explanation. Nothing else fit what he knew of the man.

The dark head of hair was bent over its task, and Hux could do nothing but stare in astonishment at Rey over Kylo's head. She looked… intrigued, to say the least. Her face was flushed again, much like it had been in his dream. That _cursed_ dream. And it wasn't only Rey that was calling up flashes from the dream. Kylo being so near, in such a position at his feet, was not doing anything for the mental armor that he needed to maintain for the coming audience.

Fingers skimmed behind his knees, trailing a couple of inches up the inside of his thigh, and pulling Hux decidedly into the present and out of his memories. Hux's gaze dropped down again, only to find that Kylo had finished the task of doing up Hux's boots and was now staring intently up at the redhead, face as blank as Hux had ever seen it. Except for the heat in Kylo's eyes, Hux would have thought he was crazy.

Before Hux could say or do anything, Kylo stood up. He stalked over to the desk where his mask lay, donned it with a click and a hiss, and stalked into the other room, heading for the door to the corridor.

Hux stared after him for a moment, perplexed, and then did his best to stride after the First Knight with his usual confidence. He pushed the pain out of his mind, ignoring it in favor of preparing for the audience with the Supreme Leader; he would need all of his strength for the powerful man.

He glanced at Rey as he passed her. He couldn't risk acknowledging the concern that was radiating off of her features. He needed to be ice; needed to maintain control. He couldn't do that if he looked at her again. He grabbed his greatcoat and hat where they were hung up on a hook by the outer door. He could don them as he walked.

He left her and her concern behind as he followed her Master, clearing his mind. There would be time for all of… _that_ … at a later time.


	9. Control

**Note: Happy Star Wars Celebration Weekend! Hope you have a great time, whether you're in Orlando or not. :)**

 **Also, thank you to everyone who has shown me support with this. xoxo Can't do it without you.**

* * *

"The attack was successful, then."

Supreme Leader Snoke's voice filled the entirety of the audience chamber like a miasma – strong, oppressive, and powerful, trying to winnow its way into your soul and take over. At least, that's how Kylo had always felt about his Master's voice. There was something so distinctive about it. It was alluring in its own way.

Yet today, it grated on his nerves more than usual. He didn't want to be here, reporting on the attack on D'Qar when he was sure that Snoke had already received a full report from the senior officers of the First Order present. He hadn't wanted to leave Hux's quarters, hadn't wanted to leave Rey behind, and he didn't like catching glimpses of Hux flinching out of the corner of his eye. He should still be asleep, or at least resting.

Instead, he was reporting to the Supreme Leader, his voice hiding the emotions that Kylo, at least, due to his physical proximity, could sense swirling just beyond the surface of his mind. It wasn't like he was _trying_ to see them, but the emotions mirrored his so well that they were hard to ignore.

The First Knight stared straight up at the gigantic hologram, fingers itching to don his mask once more. He struggled with roping his emotions in, taking the opportunity to do so while Hux spoke. It wouldn't do to anger his Master. Not today. He just wanted to get this over with and leave. Get in; get out.

The General's voice was strong, showing no pain or conflict, as he replied to their leader, and Kylo absently shoved the hint of pride he felt at that out of the way.

"It was, Supreme Leader," Hux replied. "The attack went as planned. There were, however, far less enemy troops there than we had anticipated. Based on the knowledge that the First Knight and I have gathered, we can be reasonably certain the Resistance pieced together where their errant Jedi-in-training went, and were in the process of moving their personnel in an effort to counteract any betrayal of their operations. Which, of course, they were right about."

"We shall get to the girl later," Snoke replied, flicking his fingers as if in dismissal. Kylo struggled to keep down a flare of possession at his Master's words. She was _his_ , but now was not the time to dwell on that of all things. What his Master had done the last time…

Snoke leaned forward, and speared Kylo with a hard look. For a moment, Kylo thought that his thoughts were being perused, but the presence of his Master's mind simply slid over him and away. "You let Skywalker escape."

Kylo looked up, startled. "Skywalker was there?" He had had no knowledge of that; had felt no presence in the Force on D'Qar besides his Knights. "We knew that Skywalker was no longer on Ahch-To, where Lady Rey encountered him after the map led her and the Resistance there, but beyond that we were not aware of his location. Lady Rey witnessed his departure herself."

His Master shot him a look which expressed his displeasure. "Apparently he returned to the Resistance shortly after leaving. There were logs referencing this fact." He paused, flicking his gaze between the newly-elevated Master and the General. "Which you would have known had you not been… distracted."

"I–" Kylo began.

"Silence!" Snoke snapped. "You will simply have to do better. Do not let emotions cloud your judgment and loyalties, Kylo Ren. Revel in them and express them, but never let them control _you._ " He settled back in his chair, fingers steepled before him. Kylo kept his face blank, staring straight ahead, though not quite meeting Snoke's holographic gaze. "He was there. Perhaps not that day, but he was. General, you will assign however many people are necessary to prioritize tracking down their new base of operations. Continue your previous patrol when D'Qar is fully secured. I trust you can manage that."

"Yes, Supreme Leader." Hux's voice was steady.

"Now, about the girl…" Snoke began, his tone gaining a hint of anticipation and greed that filled Kylo with apprehension. The way that his Master said the word 'girl' set his teeth on edge, and he had to lock his knees and elbows in place before he could show a physical reaction to his Master's comments.

General Hux, however… Kylo noticed him twitch before he made to step back off of the central dais, lit from above. He obviously thought that that was a dismissal, and was turning to leave the audience chamber as he'd done every other time the Supreme Leader and the Knight of Ren spoke of topics dealing with the Force.

"You have not been dismissed, General Hux!" Snoke's voice whipped out, freezing Hux in place.

Slowly, he turned back around, and bent at the waist in a bow. "My apologies, Supreme Leader." He righted himself, though Kylo could see the other man brush his fingers across the holster of his pistol before he clasped them together behind his back. It was one of his tells, typically letting on when he was angry. Not many knew enough about the very private General, but Kylo had been watching him, conversing with him, training with him, for years. Enough to notice; enough to learn.

"Her training – it is going well?" the scarred man finally asked after settling back into his throne.

"Yes, Master." Snoke's eyes always gleamed when he called him Master, even though he no longer needed to. It was a way to distract the other Force user, Kylo had learned; another small manipulation to achieve his own goals. Keeping Snoke's attention on him and off of the currently-weakened Hux was his present goal, and easily achieved. Little, subtle things went beneath Snoke's notice more often than not, though they were powerful and controlling as an aggregate. This was a tune that he had played many a time before.

"Her powers increase daily and she is mastering the powers of the Force at a rate to rival mine. Her weapons skills must be honed further, as they must at all times for anyone, but she is an asset in the field at the very least. Her mind, while still shaded with her upbringing and her time with the Resistance, is a practical one. She has the capacity to be a true believer in our cause, Master." He said exactly what needed to be said to placate the older man, and nothing more. Just enough to appease, but not enough to encourage him to ask for too many more details beyond those already given.

"I will assess her personally in two weeks' time," Snoke commanded.

The announcement was to be expected, but it certainly was not welcomed by either man. Kylo noticed Hux shift his stance slightly, and it was all that Kylo could do to keep his voice steady when he replied, "Very well."

"And her conduct on D'Qar?" Snoke asked.

Kylo stopped a moment to think. He had not spoken of the attack with Rey since they had returned; had not pulled her thoughts on the matter out into the open to dissect. It hadn't even crossed his mind, and he wasn't sure if that made him a good or a bad person.

"Well?" Snoke's impatience was increasing. He never liked to be kept waiting.

"Lady Rey did what was necessary without hesitation, Master. She did not allow her past to cloud her mind and instead focused on survival and protecting her… protecting her allies." He refused to dwell, now of all times, on the sight of her standing over Hux, and the way she had killed the Resistance soldier with the Force. No, he wanted to protect that memory, and savor it as a private moment between the three of them. That memory was _not_ for Snoke, and he shoved it down and out of sight of any surprise probing that Snoke would do of his mind in this moment.

He had never been sure what made this room a conduct for Snoke's Force abilities, especially the telepathy, but one day he would find out and rip the technology into pieces with his bare hands. He had lived under its yoke for too long, having to find other ways to learn how to protect his mind. His Master certainly hadn't been interested in teaching him how to guard his thoughts. Why would he be?

"What's this?" The suspicion in Snoke's voice nearly set Kylo's heart to racing, but he was able to control it – barely – as he glanced up and followed the Supreme Leader's gaze to where it rested on Hux. The General was glaring at Snoke. The glare itself wasn't unusual for the proud and confident man, but to have it directed at Snoke…

Fuck. Why was Hux so unconcerned for his personal safety lately?

"A memory of the battle, my lord," Hux answered unabashedly.

Kylo was sure he knew exactly which memory it was.

"And these emotions you experienced… how _quaint,_ " Snoke sneered. "You have too much interest in the girl, General. One would worry you might get distracted – much like you did that last time with that young officer… what was their name? Leif? Rather unfortunate what happened to him, was it not?"

Hux froze.

Kylo caught the emotions of anger and fear and disbelief that were trying to escape the General's normally ironclad control. He didn't even have to reach for them to feel them, and he was sure that Snoke would notice them soon enough. He couldn't stand idly by as Hux drew the ire of the Supreme Leader – not in his weakened state, not _ever_ – in a futile effort to make his displeasure known – his displeasure and despair at the revelation of what had happened to his lover. He knew that Rey would be heartbroken if anything happened to Hux. Hell, even he would –

His mind shied away from that, dwelling instead on Snoke's words. There was something not quite _right_ …

The implication was clearer than Snoke had meant it to be, Kylo was sure. There was _no_ way that his Master would outright let on that he had done anything to his General's former lover. Or that… was he trying to say that he would kill Rey to keep his General in line?

Kylo felt his ever-present spark of rage roar into life, and Snoke snapped his head around to look at his former apprentice, narrowing his mind into a spear which he used to peruse the Knight's mind. "You as well? My… that girl already has the both of you under her spell? I might admire that if I didn't think it a liability."

"It will not be a liability, Master," Kylo hissed, not able to control his temper.

"I will say what is a liability or not!" Snoke slammed his fist on the arm of his throne.

Kylo refused to hide his thoughts of Rey from his Master. The time was past for any of that. He stepped in front of Hux in an attempt to shield the man, flagging from his injury, pushing a simple _'Go_ ' into his mind, and not looking at the other man to see if he hesitated before striding from the room. He didn't want the General to hear his next words about Rey, and was only too glad to hear the chamber's doors hiss shut.

Snoke barely noticed, so intent was he on the Knight before him.

 _Forgive me, Rey_ , he thought. He was sure that she'd understand, though.

"Supreme Leader," he bent his head in obeisance, planning his next words of manipulation carefully and thoughtfully. "There may be emotions… but they tie her to us as well. She can easily be controlled this way…"

His voice took on a passionate tinge as he continued to weave his web of lies, investing them with enough true emotion and memory that they would convince Snoke. He pressed on. It was imperative that he quell his former Master's ire.

* * *

General Hux strode through the hallways of his glorious ship, the _Finalizer,_ after departing the audience chamber with Snoke. Normally, walking the halls of his star destroyer offered him comfort and pride, even _joy_ , but today there was no comfort to be found.

He stopped a moment to stare blankly at a corridor wall, taking his bare hand and caressing the durasteel to see if there was any solace to be found at the touch.

Nothing.

He started walking again, changing his previous path from the bridge to his quarters instead. Anything important could wait, and if it was truly dire, they could risk his wrath by intruding on his private space. All he wanted was a cup of hot tea, black as could be, a hot shower, and to curl up in the darkness of his bedroom. It was the only place he could let down his guard, and he needed to do just that, right now, before he exploded.

He couldn't afford to do that in front of anyone in the halls, so he shoved the thoughts of Leif and the revelations therein to the back of his mind. Dwelling on that freshly reopened wound would get him nothing at the moment. But he knew he'd need to think on it, and explore exactly what Snoke was implying… no… _saying_. There was much he'd have to figure out. But later.

Instead, he dredged up the last bit of his flagging strength to drive his weakening legs towards his chamber, maintaining his usual, steady pace, however. Appearances meant everything.

He had never liked having the Supreme Leader get into his head before, but it had never caused him to lose control like it had today – or nearly had, if Kylo hadn't stepped in. What was that about? He had never done that before. But then again, nothing of today's debriefing was usual, either.

He refused to let his mind linger on the way that he'd shivered when Kylo's voice had spoken in his mind.

Finally arriving at his destination, he opened his chamber door with a swipe of his hand, finally letting his guard down. But he still didn't want to focus on that.

No, instead he wanted to focus on Rey and the implied threat to her –

Rey.

Hux froze, staring at the trim form of the girl asleep on his couch.

He was already halfway out of his clothes – greatcoat and hat hung, belt flung into a chair, jacket off and draped over the same chair's back, undershirt untucked, and the top button of his pants undone – when he noticed her through the gloom of his chambers. She was curled up tightly, facing towards the door, as if she'd fallen asleep waiting for him to return.

His eyes traced over her features, gentled in sleep, and he couldn't have cared less that she was in his private sanctuary. It felt natural that she was here, even at night – _especially at night,_ his mind interjected – and so he decided to let her be. She hadn't slept for over thirty hours before the audience with Snoke had called him and Kylo away, he recalled the Knight mentioning earlier.

He'd promised himself – and Kylo – that he would watch out for her. This was just another way to do it.

Finally willing his limbs to move again, he padded as softly as he could in his boots across the room, into the bedroom, and into the 'fresher. After relieving himself, he used the privacy of the bathroom to wrestle his boots off, leaving his feet bare on the cold floor. But he wasn't cold – no, he was entirely too hot. Removing his boots had reminded him of how he'd gotten them on.

Fuck. He didn't need this right now; his mind was already trying to leap in too many different directions.

Instead he removed himself to the living room again, and settled into the same straight-backed chair that he'd placed his uniform jacket on upon entering. It wasn't the most comfortable, especially not with his wound throbbing under its bandage, but it was the one that afforded him the best view of her face. It wasn't often he got to observe her, so at peace. And alone. The last time she'd fallen asleep in his presence, Kylo had been there as well. While it hadn't been unpleasant – far from it – he would relish the opportunity to observe her, free from being watched himself.

Kylo. His thoughts turned to pondering if there was anything going on between the two of them – anything more than a master-apprentice dynamic. He wasn't sure if there was, though he could tell that the two of them had some… _feelings_ … for each other. It was painfully obvious, at least to Hux. But… where Hux expected to find jealousy rushing up in him at the thought, all that his mind could conjure up was desire and passion and _want_ , accompanied by flashes of his dream from earlier. A dream that didn't just include Rey and him, but had involved Kylo as well. He'd dreamed about Kylo before, in such a capacity, over the years, and yes, even about Rey during the last couple of weeks… but… all three of them together?

Shit. Hux was screwed – and not in the way his body obviously wanted.

There was no possible way that, even if Kylo and Rey were involved, that they would want him to join. No. No way whatsoever. And he'd much rather keep his friendship with both of them as it were, even if –

"Hux…?" whispered Rey tentatively, sleepily.

* * *

"I'm here," she heard Hux reply softly, across the darkness of the living room. She couldn't see him, but she could sense his presence in the room, and his voice provided another reference point for her eyes to zero in on his location, if not his body itself.

She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes as she sat up, legs stretching outwards in a toe-curling stretch. Rey could hear him getting up and moving towards her, and so she curled her legs up underneath her on the couch and waited for him instead of going to him like she'd originally intended.

Hux settled on the couch beside Rey, though with a foot or two of space between them.

Rey started to shake at his nearness, at the heat of him beside her, suddenly overwhelmed with relief. She knew it was stupid. She knew that they would come back. That _he_ would come back. That Kylo must be safe as well because otherwise Hux would have mentioned it already. She knew all of this intellectually, yet deep inside of her she had been so afraid that they wouldn't come back from their meeting alive. Even though the Supreme Leader had no reason to harm either one of them, she'd heard tales and her mind had dreamed up the rest to fill in the gaps. So soon after Hux's injury, she hadn't been able to stop her mind from falling into the trap of one of her deepest, darkest fears: the fear of abandonment by those she cared for.

And yes – yes, she did care for him and Kylo. She could admit that much to herself now, after her emotions had been scoured raw over the last two days.

She couldn't imagine life without them. Not as it stood right now.

"Rey?" Hux inquired softly, worry suffusing his tone.

"Hm? What is it?" she replied as she looked up into his eyes. There was just enough light in the room for her to admire the crisp green of his eyes. They helped her in stabilizing herself, providing something for her to focus on instead of her residual pain from earlier. She was strong – she always had been. She couldn't let this get the best of her. She knew she'd survive if something happened to them; if they left her alone in this life on the _Finalizer_. She knew she'd survive – but she'd so much rather survive with him… with _them_.

Rey was quickly coming to realize that surviving wasn't the same as _living_. As _thriving._

"You… you were shaking. Are you okay?" He sounded almost apologetic to be calling attention to her appearance of weakness, and that, more than anything, thawed the ice that fear had grown around her.

She shook her head as she smiled up at him. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Everything's okay," she murmured. "Just… thinking."

Hux smiled back at her, though it was a small one. A soft one.

"Can I stay here for a little while longer, though? I don't… I – I just–" She didn't quite have the right words to tell him that she didn't want to be alone right then. She'd been alone for too long in her life, and she just wanted to share this moment with him for a little while longer…

"Yes, Rey, you can stay as long as you need," he answered her gently, cutting into her inability to grasp words. Her heart thrilled at his response; at the way he said it, as if she were the only thing that mattered in that moment.

Everything seemed so much more… important… in the darkness. Like secrets could be shared, acknowledged, and accepted that much easier during the night. Rey had to fight herself to keep from spilling everything she had been thinking. She didn't even really know _what_ she had been thinking, so now wasn't the time to share.

Instead, she shifted her hips closer to Hux on the couch cushions, leaning towards him rather than towards the armrest, and touched her fingers to the spot just above his knee cap. She could feel an anticipatory smile tugging at her lips as she looked up at him from beneath her lashes. "So… tell me about being a sniper? Or at least training to be one?"

She couldn't help but smile wider at the look of remembered pleasure and fondness that crossed his features, and she settled back into the couch to listen to him.

She also couldn't help that his voice started to lull her to sleep after just under a half hour of whispered conversation.

* * *

Hux trailed off in the middle of telling Rey a story about one of his training exercises at the Academy as soon as her head fell onto his shoulder. She was dead asleep, soft snores emanating from her mouth and nose.

Huffing out a laugh, he paused a moment to see if she would wake, then slowly transferred her into his arms and stood up. She fit into his arms as well as – or better – than the previous time he'd picked her up, and he couldn't help but revel in the sensation for a few minutes, feeling the heat of her body through his and her clothes, and watching her shoulders and chest rise and fall with her breaths.

She was beautiful.

Mindful of the pain radiating from his side with the strain of picking up even her light form, he walked slowly to his bedroom and then deposited her gently on his bed. He tugged the covers out from underneath of her, and then pulled them over her, tucking her in.

He couldn't help it if his hand lingered on her cheek after pulling the sheet up.

He couldn't help it if he couldn't resist the temptation of leaning down and ghosting his lips over the same spot.

Turning around, he strode back to the couch and grabbed the extra blanket off of the couch before he could fall to further temptation.

There was only so much he trusted himself and his vaunted self-control.


	10. Ardor

Kylo Ren had yet to sleep.

He stalked the halls, masked, robes flowing around his quickly-moving form as he made his way to Rey's rooms to wrest her from bed, earlier than usual. Getting up a few hours earlier than normal wouldn't affect her mood too detrimentally, he was sure – and if it did, well… he could sure use someone to clash tempers with on today of all days.

After Hux had left the audience chamber, Kylo had been able to focus all of his attention on spinning his lies for Snoke, with enough truth to them that they were easily taken in by Snoke, and easily remembered by himself. So many fools failed in manipulation by overreaching with the amount of lies they tried to tell and keep track of. He'd been smart enough, even from the first time he'd attempted that breadth of deceit – when he'd hidden his intentions of truly becoming the First Knight of Ren, rather than simply Snoke's figurehead – that he sometimes did not comprehend how others could not do the same.

No, he didn't hide how he felt about Rey from Snoke. But, he may have… focused on some feelings and emotions more than others. Dwelling on the lust, pride, and jealousy he felt over Rey's attentions – rather than the more… soft… emotions – were enough for the scarred devil, especially when mixed with Kylo's words. Hux wasn't the only one with oratory skills. Kylo's were certainly more subtle, however.

His lips twitched at that. Definitely more subtle.

His amusement didn't last for long, though. Seeing Rey's doorway up ahead on the right reminded him of the image he'd painted for Snoke. Of wanting to use her body for his own pleasure and nothing more, of wishing to use Hux's own lust – "for that's all it seems to be, my Master" – for Rey against the other man, and of breaking the woman down into nothing more than a killing machine bent to his will and needs. All of which, of course, would require him to _pretend_ to care for her so that she could be more easily manipulated. If only Snoke _knew_.

Snoke was pleased, to say the least – and distracted. That was all that mattered. It was a lie he could easily cultivate for future encounters with the Supreme Leader. All it would take were a few carefully chosen memories, a few token words… and Rey would be protected. At least inasmuch as he was able to; Rey would need to protect herself as well. And she would be able to – oh _yes_ that woman held so much potential and ability.

He pressed his fist against the chime on the panel beside her door, and waited, attempting patience and clarity of mind.

Yet after a few minutes of waiting – more than enough for her to rouse from her bed, throw on a robe, and pad to the door – there was no answer. He chimed the door again, growing increasingly impatient and aggravated. _Where was she?_

There was still no answer.

Opening himself to his awareness of the Force signatures aboard the vessel, he was surprised – _no, you aren't_ , his mind told him – to find hers blazing, even muted by sleep, only a few hallways over. Whirling on his heel, he made his way to General Hux's quarters. He knew the other man wouldn't hurt Rey, but…

He did not even stop to press the chime on the door panel; instead, he simply opened the door with the Force and swept quietly inside, using experience more than the Force to silence his movements. He did, however, use said power to soften the sound of his helmet being removed and set on a chair, on which the General's jacket and _belt_ were draped. He took in the rest of the living room quickly – the blanket meticulously draped across the back of the couch, though there were indentations on the leather still, the jacket and belt he had just taken notice of, and… the scent of _her_. It was faint. His nose was not any more powerful than any other human's, but he couldn't mistake the scent of _Rey_.

His eyes were drawn to the bedroom door. She wasn't in here, so…

Kylo clenched his fists – but not in jealousy. No… no, this was a feeling not unlike the one he'd felt that night he'd seen Hux carry Rey from the Knight's Lounge to her rooms. It was one of fascination… of desire… of yearning… and of fierce protectiveness for these two beings who had wormed their way into his soul. One had taken years – and Kylo had never been sure if he had actually cared or _hated_ the man, not until recently – and the other had been like a spark, roaring into life. Consuming his every spare thought, and even the times he had no business dwelling on her… on _them_. Separately they distracted him; together they had the power to bring him to his knees. And the thought of them… in that room… His heart pounded, pumping blood in a rush throughout his body, making him feel feverish with desire.

Still, though. He may have been enticed at the thought, but a part of him – a part growing by the second, right then – was overcome with possessiveness. That she… that they… before he… The thought he'd had that night in the Lounge, that he wouldn't mind so much seeing them together… it seemed it was much better in theory than in practice. At least to a part of him.

But… the two of them… waiting for _him_? He felt his mouth go dry as the thought roared to life inside of him. The blood rushing through his body suddenly plummeted southwards, and he felt light-headed. He hadn't felt this out of control in _years_. This _aroused_. And it was only a thought; not an image, or an action, or a memory… A _thought_ was doing this to him. It was only too easy to imagine the two of them naked, lying in each other's arms in the next room – not because they were lovers and he an intruder, but because they were waiting for _him_ to arrive. Oh Force, how he wished it were true. He'd never even considered it, but now he could think of nothing else.

Bracing himself against the wall, he took a series of deep, controlled breaths. His imagination was so vivid that he found himself experiencing a vicarious sort of anticipation and even frustration on behalf of his imaginary self.

He felt, more than heard, the pipes in the wall shudder. Someone had turned off a 'fresher, and he had a feeling that it was the one in the next room. Glancing at the chronometer on the desk in the living room, he realized that it was very likely the General, going about his daily ablutions before seeing to the needs of the ship.

He pushed himself away from the wall, removing his gloves and dropping them carelessly on the floor as he walked to the bedroom's entrance. The door was open, and the soft glow coming from within steadily resolved itself into light seeping around the edges of the less-secure door to the 'fresher. Yet he found his eyes drawn to the bed.

Limbs akimbo, Rey was sprawled across Hux's bed, sheets twisted up and over her form and half covering her face, which was turned away from him. Kylo stared, frozen, taking in what glimpses of skin and hair he could in the dim light of the room. She was… she was…

She was in Hux's bed.

The bed of a man who had agreed to protect and look out for her.

She was in the other man's bed… without _him_.

Kylo felt his blood boiling for a completely different reason. His eyes flickered to the 'fresher door, then back to Rey's sleeping form. He didn't even realize that she was still wearing her clothes from the previous day; nor did he acknowledge that just a moment ago he'd wanted nothing so much as to climb into that bed with _both_ of them.

All he felt was an upwelling of anger at the man for sullying their – _his_ – Rey. Before he'd even had a _chance._

Casting one last, furtive glance at Rey, he stormed over to the 'fresher door, acting entirely on impulse as he unlatched the mechanics of the lock with the Force and then barged his way into the steamy, quiet room. He didn't even bother to shut the door behind him – he was too focused on getting his hands on Hux.

It wasn't until he had the thinner man pushed against the back of the 'fresher wall, forearm braced horizontally over his chest, that he realized he had moved towards him. Hux was frozen still, one hand grasping tightly onto Kylo's bicep, and the other pressed beside him against the wall.

Kylo breathed deeply, trying to control the impulse to beat the hell out of the man in front of him, as Hux slowly worked his way into a rage to rival Kylo's.

"What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing, Kylo?" the redhead hissed, eyes like green ice shooting daggers at him. He kept the rest of his body still, however, as if attempting to not draw the attention of the beast circling within Kylo. There were barely more than a couple of inches between the two of them.

"Fuck you, Hux. Do you not remember our agreement?" Kylo gritted out in reply. Before the other man could reply, he barreled on. "You _slept_ with her? With Rey? I thought we were supposed to look out for her; not be the ones to protect her _from_."

"I didn't –" Hux started to protest, his eyes flashing in anger.

"She's in your _bed_ , damn it. What the fuck else am I supposed to think happened? She obviously stayed here overnight, and now she's in your bed. Before I –"

"I didn't touch her, _Ren_ ," Hux interjected again, getting angrier. This time, he reached up with his free hand and pushed it against Kylo's clothed chest in an effort to push the other man away. He wouldn't budge.

But Kylo was listening, now, at least.

Hux kept his hands where they were, acknowledging the futility of pushing the man off of him when he was like this. Part of Kylo's brain thrilled at the acknowledgment in the choice of actions. The other part was intent on the General's words.

Hux saw that he was listening, and continued. "Like I said, I didn't touch her." His tone was aloof but there was still that spark of anger in his eyes. "I came back here after our audience with the Supreme Leader and she was asleep on my couch. Obviously she'd never left after we did. She woke up, and we talked, but she fell back asleep so I put her somewhere where she'd be more comfortable, and then went back to the couch myself." He raised an eyebrow at Kylo. "I'm sure you approve more of her being in my bed than of her sleeping on the couch, don't you?"

With that, Kylo's mind immediately dredged up the image of Rey in Hux's bed – the one he'd just seen – and promptly started to fill in the blanks underneath the covers. He could feel himself stirring, and became aware of _exactly_ what he was pressing against when Hux's lips parted in a soundless gasp, his eyes widening slightly.

He felt his rage transform quickly into white-hot passion, with the image of Rey and the _feeling_ of Hux spurring it on, feeding it, and fueling it until it burned inside of him.

Pressing his hips slowly, inexorably, against the other man's, keeping his arm exactly where it was, with Hux's hand trapped between them, he felt Hux's breathing pick up. He flicked his eyes down to catch sight of a droplet of water rolling its way down the hollow of his neck and onto his bare chest, disappearing finally against the cloth covering his arm where it was pressed against Hux's skin. His own breath hitched as he felt Hux hardening against his hipbone, pressed between their bodies. Hux's breaths were coming much shallower than before, but his face was desperately trying to hold on to some semblance of control. Kylo wanted to make him lose _all_ control; he desperately wanted that. His obsession with making the uniform blink and stutter and rage and _wonder_ for all of these years had transformed into wanting to make the man _beneath_ the uniform blink and stutter and gasp and _wonder_ in completely different ways – in a way that was just as dangerous to Kylo as it was to the man whose skin he was trying to get under.

Though they were nearly the same height, Hux was still a smaller, wirier man, and when Kylo leaned in, pressing even more tightly against his body, the other man was practically enveloped by him. He braced his other, free hand on the wall beside Hux's head, and then tilted his own head down the opposite side. The redhead tilted his head to the side, likely subconsciously, and his eyes were fighting against fluttering shut as Kylo ghosted his lips over the muscles in Hux's neck, all the way up to his ear where he nipped at the flesh of his lobe.

"Do you know what I'm thinking about right now… _Taj_?" Kylo whispered huskily against his ear, trying to get a reaction. Hux's hips jerked forward at the mention of his given name coming from Kylo's mouth, though he was obviously still trying to control his facial features. But Kylo was patient when he wanted to be… he'd get a reaction yet.

"What?" Kylo was vaguely disappointed to hear the steel still in the General's voice. Ever the professional, even with his bare cock pressed hard against Kylo's through his clothes. Kylo was impressed, though still disappointed.

Kylo decided then and there to go all-in with the different options he'd been considering telling Hux, settling on the unabashed truth. "You and I… and Rey… in your bed, naked as sin and reveling in it… in each other." His heart raced with anticipation and anxiety and even _fear of rejection_ as he spoke the words, but he kept himself as still as possible to observe the redhead pushed against the wall and held there by Kylo's body.

That _certainly_ got a reaction out of the man. Hux moaned once, softly, his head lolling to the side, and his cock got even harder – Kylo hadn't thought that was possible, at that stage, but apparently it was.

"Fuck," Hux said, his breath catching in his throat. Suddenly, he used his hips and hands to push Kylo off of him, seemingly needing the space to breathe.

Kylo allowed the motion, having accomplished what he wanted – though not necessarily what he had planned to do when entering the 'fresher. He stood up straight, and let his eyes roam slowly over the aroused man standing in front of him. He was quivering slightly, and yet he pulled himself into a stiff posture that only those born and bred for the military could pull off, his spine ramrod straight and his chin held just _so_ , denoting that it was not just a soldier, but an _officer_ , who you were in the presence of.

Even bare, it was an impressive sight. _Actually_ , Kylo thought as he lazily swept his eyes over Hux's prominent erection, enjoying every _long_ inch of the sight – _especially bare._

" _Fuck_ ," Hux repeated, drawing Kylo's eyes up to the other man's. There was _nothing_ professional within those green eyes anymore, despite the posture he maintained, refusing to hide himself from Kylo's eyes. Out of stubbornness more than pride of self, Kylo was sure. Kylo could _see_ the flame of desire behind Hux's eyes.

Kylo remained where he was, still, as he waited for the General's next move.

"Why did you say that, Kylo?" Hux finally murmured, holding his gaze.

"You know why. I've seen the way you look at –" He cut off abruptly as another voice – _Rey's_ voice – called out.

"Master? Is that you?"

Obviously they had woken her up. Kylo held Hux's gaze a second longer, and then stepped further from the other man so that he could grab the underwear that was neatly folded on a shelf above the sink. He watched in curiosity and appreciation as the long muscles and tendons in the General's body stretched and pulled with the motions of pulling the tight shorts over his body, and then called back to Rey as Hux pulled his slightly wrinkled uniform pants over his legs. They were all that were available to Hux to shield his still-hard member from view of Kylo's apprentice. "In here, Rey. I apologize if we woke you – we were… discussing an important matter."

Hux's eyes flicked to Kylo's, flashing a final hint of something _more_ at him before it disappeared behind his professional façade. He reached for the roll of tensile bacta-laced bandage and started to – rather unsuccessfully – wrap it around his middle.

Kylo had completely forgotten about the injury. It still looked red, raw, and inflamed, but it was a lot smaller than it had been two days ago, when the injury had been sustained. A quick flash of anger at the memory of Hux getting hurt was soon supplanted by the absolute _satisfaction_ of seeing the soldier responsible get what he deserved – at Rey's hand, no less. She certainly exhibited the signs of a woman invested in the man in front of him…

"If you're not going to help him with his dressing, then move aside, Master." Rey's voice came from the doorway to the 'fresher and it almost sounded… amused.

As she pushed him aside so that she could get past him and to Hux, he realized that he had been lost in thought to the point of not paying attention to his surroundings. For the first time since this… _whatever it was_ … had begun, he realized how dangerous it could be – how dangerous it _would_ be if they pursued it.

Hux looked up, startled, as Rey entered the increasingly-cramped 'fresher and made her way towards him, holding her hands out for the bandage. Gone was the persona of the officer, though the bones of it were still there. Instead, a mild panic could be seen warring with a degree of tenderness within the eyes that were flitting back and forth between Rey and Kylo, over the young woman's head. Rey bent to her task, stepping right up in Hux's personal space, nudging his arms upward for better access, and starting to wrap the bandage around his midriff.

"It's looking better," she mused quietly.

Hux was silent a beat before responding. "It's feeling better."

"Good." She nodded.

Kylo noticed that Rey wasn't quite able to get the wrap pulled snugly around Hux's body. Her arms were long enough but she was being oddly hesitant in stepping closer against him. Kylo tilted his head in amusement. The little scavenger was still displaying some of her predilections from being raised in near-isolation. Normally that would just anger him to think of – at least of late – but this morning it only brought a small smirk to his lips.

Nothing if not opportunistic, Kylo took his chances and stepped up behind Rey, inches separating their bodies, reaching his arms around her for the loose end of the wrap in her left hand. He took it from her grasp as she stilled, startled like a wild animal. A moment later, she tilter her head around to catch a glimpse of his face, of his expression – but it was schooled and he was looking past her at Hux's body.

"Take this and pass it around," he murmured gently so as not to startle her, practically into her mussed hair. He pulled the bandage taut behind Hux's back, making sure it was smooth, and handed it into her right hand. He dropped his right hand so that she wouldn't feel completely trapped, as that was definitely _not_ what he wanted her to feel.

When she passed it around Hux's far side, Kylo deliberately took a single step forward so that he could 'better grip' the bandage roll being given to him. He knew this would either force her out from between the two men, or she would instinctively step closer to Hux – or there was even a small chance she would stay exactly where she was and let him press against her back.

She chose the second option, stepping nearly up against Hux's side. Kylo saw the hitch in her breath, and he smiled in satisfaction. He caught Hux's eyes, holding them as he pulled the bandage around to give to Rey one last time. He pushed it into her hand when she didn't immediately pull it from his fingers, and then she took a deep breath and passed the roll around Hux's body again. This time, her breasts brushed against Hux's bare torso and they all stilled as the redhead drew in a quick, sharp breath. There was no mistaking that sound for anything but what it was. Yet she still didn't move.

Kylo continued after a moment, latching the clips supplied on the end of the bandage's roll onto the bandage itself, securing it snugly over Hux's form. He brushed his fingers briefly along Hux's hip bone as he withdrew his hands, though he remained standing exactly where he was.

Glancing briefly at him over Rey's head before turning his eyes back to Rey, Hux lifted his hand and touched the back of his hand to Rey's cheek – though only for a moment before he dropped the hand in question. "Thank you," he said.

She nodded once, curtly, holding her shoulders stiffly, before withdrawing from between them both. She turned around to face them once she was clear, and there was no way that Hux or Kylo could miss that her pupils were dilated to pinpricks, lost in the golden brown of her irises. Her voice was strong, however, as she addressed them both, and Kylo was turned on even more than before. "Thank you for letting me sleep here overnight, General. I'm sure it was inconvenient to you, especially with your injury, but I appreciate it nonetheless. If you'll please excuse my Master and I, I believe that we have some training to see to. I believe that was your aim in… fetching me this morning, correct?" She raised an eyebrow at Kylo.

He smirked back at her. "Yes," he acknowledged. Go shower and get dressed, and we'll meet for breakfast before training as I'm sure you have yet to eat." She nodded in confirmation at that before turning around, forgetting to bow – though she didn't need to, she usually included one – and practically hightailing it out of the General's quarters. It was the last action that revealed the extent of her frayed nerves behind her strong exterior.

Kylo turned slowly back to Hux, though he didn't take a step closer. He met the other man's eyes, and then flicked his gaze to the doorway and back.

General Hux didn't need an interpretation of that look. He knew exactly what Kylo Ren was pointing out, and Kylo knew that the General knew. It was obvious every moment that Rey had been caught between them – _stars_ , even every moment she was simply in the 'fresher at _all_.

"'Fuck,' indeed," Kylo laughed as he walked out, following his… apprentice… out the door.


	11. Retrospective

**Note: I've updated 'Mitzvah', and 'I'd start a war for you' will be updated tomorrow. I'm so excited! Thank you everyone for your support :)**

* * *

"Once more, Rey," Kylo sighed.

Rey resisted the urge to glare at her Master, instead reaching up to push a sweaty tendril of hair away from her forehead. They'd been training for hours now, through all sorts of different Force skills, and her body was starting to reflect her mental exhaustion. Of course, Kylo had waited until _now_ of all times to practice the hardest of all the techniques he'd been teaching her. He called it 'drain knowledge,' or something like that, and it was the same skill that he had used on her during her… interrogation… all those months ago. He had waited until a couple days ago to introduce her to the skill again, assuming that Rey would more readily accept the reminder of her time at his mercy after having gotten used to his presence in her life.

He'd been wrong, though she hadn't told him as much.

Rey wouldn't have minded its use from the beginning of their training sessions. She was a practical person – had always considered herself as such, at least – and recognized when certain things had to be done in the name of finding out important information. She'd been a prisoner of war, at that – it had never been personal. Well, the mental intrusion hadn't been personal. There were other things about their encounter that had _definitely_ been more than that of an interrogator and his captive.

Plus, had he forgotten so easily that she had offered her mind for him to peruse freely, that first day back on the First Order's outpost world?

Rey stiffened as she felt Kylo's mental presence press against her shields. No matter how much she accepted its use, having it applied to her forcefully would never be a pleasant experience.

"Come now, Rey – you've been doing so well. Don't think about the feeling. Think about hiding your thoughts _from_ that feeling. Picture your mind as a labyrinth and attempt to channel that feeling where you want it to go – not where the feeling wants to go." His voice was nearly hypnotic, and Rey had a hard time holding her defenses up against it. She just wanted to close her eyes and _bask_.

"What's this?" His voice snapped her back to attention, filled with amusement as it was. "Your focus is wavering, Rey. You must do better. I _know_ you can do better. For now, I see a memory I wish to track down… prevent me from doing so, Rey, unless you wish me to know everything you think and feel…" His tone had deepened, maintaining its hypnotic quality but also gaining a sultry edge to it. Rey gulped. Obviously he liked what he'd caught a glimpse of.

Rey desperately tried to keep him from the memory, but something – she wasn't sure if it was his voice calling up the image, or maybe her brain not _wanting_ to hide the memory, or maybe it was that she knew she wasn't in danger from this man… not anymore – kept her mind open the smallest crack. She could feel her Master swooping down on the memory and she became increasingly frantic and embarrassed as he drew ever closer. Every little thing she did to frantically block him was simply not enough. She was powerful, but _he_ was experienced. And that counted for a lot with the Force.

Finally, he was upon the memory, and Rey could do nothing except close her eyes as he sunk into what she wished she could hide from him. But… if she had wanted to hide it from him, she would have chosen another memory for this exercise. It was her own fault, really.

 _Rey had been sleeping soundly, contentedly, in a warm cocoon of blankets, when she woke suddenly and swiftly at the sound of Hux's voice snarling out the word, "Fuck." She froze, mind quickly taking stock of everything that was happening at that moment, trying to get a handle of the situation before she chose her course of action – if anything._

" _Fuck," she heard again. It was definitely Hux's voice, but what was going on? Did he need help with something? She could see light coming from the open 'fresher door, and she wondered if she should go and see if he needed anything. Standing up quickly after throwing the covers back, she made her way towards the door, only to stop short as she heard Hux's voice once more._

" _Why did you say that, Kylo?"_

 _Her Master was here? With Hux, in the 'fresher? Rey furrowed her brow, wondering what was going on. Her mind swept through an array of explanations for this situation, many of which were_ entirely _inappropriate. But… she had seen the way that Kylo looked at Hux, and the way that Hux returned that look when he thought no one – especially Kylo – was looking._

 _Rey wasn't completely innocent. She'd seen plenty of things in Niima over the course of her lifetime, short as it may be as of yet. She'd always been such an unobtrusive and unassuming presence among the other denizens of the Outpost, and had been able to observe many things that she was sure she hadn't been supposed to see. One of the more innocent things she'd seen was the way that two men – two persons of any gender, really – showed their attraction to each other through body language. That was all that Rey could visualize once her mind had settled on it. She couldn't shake it._

" _You know why. I've seen the way you look at –"_

 _Rey panicked. She didn't want to hear the rest of that sentence, for fear of whose name Kylo would – or perhaps_ wouldn't _– mention. "Master? Is that you?"_

 _Silence. Then: "In here, Rey. I apologize if we woke you – we were… discussing an important matter." Her Master's voice was strong, but no longer filled with the utter sexuality that it had been oozing moments before. She felt oddly disappointed at that fact, but tamped down on the feeling as she approached the 'fresher's doorway._

 _Her mouth went dry._

 _Hux, dressed only in uniform pants and still dewy from the shower, was standing beyond Kylo, who was completely covered in his usual robes. Hux had a bandage roll in hand and was trying to wrap it around his middle, over the inflamed wound he'd received during the battle –_ I wish I could kill that soldier twice over! _she thought with barely suppressed anger. But it was his bare chest that held her attention. And his – wait, what was Kylo doing in the 'fresher with a barely-dressed Hux? Even clothed, the visual confirmation of Kylo's presence was enough to make her mind blank for a moment, returning swiftly to some of the less-than-innocent images that she'd seen at Niima, and –_

"Enough!" she yelled, shoving him out of her mind with a strength of will that she had not possessed before. It was one thing for him to _see_ the memory and share some of her thoughts, but Rey knew exactly what had been about to come up in what remained of that memory, and she did not wish for Kylo to know how _affected_ she had been at the thought of the two of them… together.

Rey fought to control the flush that was swiftly trying to take over her body, grateful that no skin showed on her except for her face and upper chest. She could hopefully stop the flush before it showed too much.

Eyes wide, Kylo leaned back, away from Rey where they sat on the ground. His breathing was harsh and swift, and he did nothing to control it – not right away at least. Rey watched as his eyes flicked away from her, but she held her tongue and waited for him to be the first to speak.

She didn't have to wait long. He stood, walked a couple of steps away, then froze before he turned back. Rey had the vague feeling that he was trying to control exactly _how_ affected he'd been from her memory. She wondered how close she'd been to the mark, with her imaginings. She was sure about what was happening between the First Knight and the General… but she also knew that there was something more at work. Something which she was a part of, it seemed. She certainly knew how _they_ affected her; how turned on she got in their presence of late. She wondered if _they_ knew…

"Good work," Kylo finally said, gruffly, holding himself stiffly.

"It was a little late, is what it was," Rey replied ruefully.

He flashed her a smirk, his body finally relaxing. "It was, wasn't it? But… you still managed to cast me out." He frowned. "You need to treat me as your enemy from the start, Rey."

"But you're not," she couldn't help but reply.

"Oh Force." Kylo rolled his eyes and Rey, startled, couldn't help but laugh at the expression on his face – one she'd never seen. He glared at her, though there was no real strength behind it. "I know I'm not, you know I'm not, but for the purpose of this exercise you have to imagine that I'm someone else. Someone less… friendly. Without that perspective, you will fail at this every time. But, that's enough for today. We've been at this for hours, and you and I still need to talk before we eat."

Rey froze. Did he want to talk about… the memory? She gulped, but kept her voice strong as she replied. "About what?"

His answer shocked her, as unprepared for it as she was. "About D'Qar." Rey was left blinking up at him, stunned and not knowing what to say in the least.

"Why?" Well, apparently her subconscious knew what to say, even if her conscious mind did not. She really had _no_ desire to speak about what had happened on D'Qar. "That was days ago."

"I'm… concerned," Kylo replied slowly, giving her an odd look. He crouched down in front of her and grasped her jaw with his gloved fingers, forcing her to meet his eyes. "Rey, as your Master, your mental health is important to me." He was choosing his words carefully. "You killed," he said bluntly, finally. "You killed men you had worked with before; men and women whom you'd thought to call allies –"

"It was necessary," she interrupted him, pulling free from his grasp and pushing herself to her feet. Kylo remained where he was, crouched on the ground, but now looking up at her. He lifted a brow at her, which just seemed to make her angrier. "I don't know why I have to talk about it," she snarled, recognizing in that moment that _this_ was exactly why she needed to speak about it. Her voice softened and she stilled. "Okay, okay fine. I guess maybe I do need to talk about it. But… as conflicted as I might feel, Master, about killing people who I had hoped would be my friends one day, I do not regret it. I _can't_. I was following orders for a cause I have promised myself to, and protecting myself, and also protecting… well, I was protecting others." She couldn't admit that protecting him and Hux had been the _ultimate_ motivating factor for her kills that day. That she couldn't care less about any of the other reasons that came to mind – for her, that day, protecting these two men had been the only thing that mattered.

She didn't dare look at that too closely.

Kylo gave her a look as he drew himself up to his full height; one that made it seem as if he knew exactly what she was thinking in that moment. But his next words gave away nothing. "It was your first kill, wasn't it?" he queried softly. "That man on the ridge."

Her mind flashed back to the fight with Peter, dwelling momentarily on the hate that he had uttered to her, and the way that it had felt to silence him once and for all… before moving on to an image from her youth. She had been twelve the first time she'd killed. Another scavenger had come upon her in the bowels of a star destroyer, high up in the rafters of one of the hangar bays. He had tried to hurt her, to take her scavenge… he had tried to throw her from the dizzying height that they had both climbed to – it was him or her, and she chose him. She had cried about it for days, wasting precious hydration, but she had come out of the experience with no regret, and a clear conscience. She was stronger for it.

"Rey?" Kylo asked again.

Rey blinked and opened her eyes. She hadn't even realized she'd closed them. Kylo had stepped closer to her, until she had to tilt her chin up in order to properly see his face. There was an odd mixture of concern and anger crossing his features. "No," she replied softly.

"'No,' what?" Kylo asked, confused.

"No, it wasn't my first kill," she answered him, reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose tiredly.

Kylo was quiet, but he didn't take a step back from her. He was decidedly in her personal space, but Rey was drawing more comfort than tension from it in that moment, and chose not to make an issue of it. Kylo didn't seem inclined to pursue her answer, either, which she was thankful for. Instead, he pushed her from a different direction.

"What about the Force choke?"

Rey became instantly filled with anger. She was still not over what seeing Hux getting hurt like that had _felt_ like. The rage, the anger, the fear, the desperation… the need for _revenge_. It had nearly consumed her. No – it _had_ consumed her. She'd killed an enemy soldier, but she hadn't done it to protect. She'd done it to make him _pay_. She'd done it to –

Rey didn't want to talk about it. She really didn't. She decided to shoot back at Kylo and put him on the defensive; to distract him from his question. "What's the First Order policy on… relations… between its officers and the Knights?" she shot at him, tilting her chin up and glaring at him.

Her Master blinked – he had not been expecting that – and then his expression darkened. Oh, what she would give to know what he was thinking in that moment. Rey wasn't afraid of him or his dark, hard gaze. She trusted that he wouldn't hurt him, but she had wanted to go all-out in her attempt to distract him. Perhaps she had gone too far. Perhaps he would be angry. Perhaps he wouldn't answer her –

"Officers can have a relationship, sexual or otherwise, with those outside of the ranking structure, or with those at their rank. Essentially no subordinates, and as long as it doesn't interfere with your job." He looked at her as if he were trying to decipher what she was getting at by asking him this question. He could have ignored the question, but instead he chose to answer. Rey was thankful. She hadn't truly intended to ask _her Master_ this question – she had thought to ask another trainee or even Asha Ren – but now that it was out, she still wished to know the answer.

"The Knights are considered outside of the ranking structure of the First Order," he continued, his voice taking on a distant tone, as if he were lost in a memory. Rey stared at his face, transfixed, taking his moment of inattention to study his features from up close. "Thus they can consort with the officers, or even the techs or otherwise, if they so wish."

"And within the Knights…?" she queried softly, not looking away.

Kylo's eyes flicked to hers, then away again. "It's not forbidden, even between Master and apprentice. The only rules that the Knights observe in that regard are that the apprentice needs to be the one to make the decision – otherwise the other Knights, and even trainees, are well within their rights and face no repercussion for protesting a relationship. Not if they feel it was instigated forcefully on the end of the Master." His tone hardened again as he quickly moved on in his explanation. "But again, it can't interfere with duties. If there is distraction, sometimes even if there is attachment that goes beyond… beyond…"

He didn't finish, and his face took on the look of a man who'd wished that he hadn't opened his mouth to speak in the first place. Rey was distracted from all of the further questions she had wanted to ask, concern blossoming across her features. He looked as if he was in pain, and there were vague hints of said emotion rolling off of him, that he obviously was having trouble controlling – she'd never felt anything like this from him before. She reached up a hand and tentatively touched Kylo's cheek, right where his scar – _her scar_ – began at the edge of his jaw. She took a step closer to him, and his body went completely still. "What happened, Master?"

He closed his eyes for a brief moment, leaning into the touch of her hand on his face, before whirling around, grabbing his mask off of the floor, and exiting the training room.

Rey slowly lowered her hand from where it still hung in midair, pursing her lips as she thought. Her Master was volatile – she knew that – but this… this hadn't been volatility. This had been steady, deep pain and rage… pain and rage that had come from a deep well that had been inside of him for a long time. She could only wonder at what could cause that in a man like Kylo Ren, who had almost exclusively demonstrated strength and composure to her since she'd first met him.

Rey exited the room and made her way to the dining hall, lost in thought. Perhaps one day he would make perfect sense to her. Until then, she could only guess.

* * *

"Patch me through to Arkanis, Lieutenant. I'll be in my office," Hux commanded as he strode across his bridge.

"Yes sir," the Lieutenant responded, not even needing to ask who he wished to contact on Arkanis. If he had wished for the Academy, he would have asked for the Academy. When he asked for Arkanis by itself that only meant one thing. General Hux valued competence above all else, and his officers and crew had learned that a long time ago.

Hux passed off a datapad to a communications officer as he walked by, then palmed open his office door. He locked it behind him, but refused to relax. When he was on duty, he maintained his outward composure at every moment.

Contacting his parents while on duty might be considered improper, but he considered this business, not _personal._ He had done as much on many other occasions, and had always been able to keep everything professional.

While his mother always found it hard to hold back, his father was especially easy to maintain a professional distance with – especially because it wasn't an act.

He'd gotten dressed slowly this morning, after the… excitement… in the 'fresher. He'd had to take himself in hand before he went on duty, because otherwise he wouldn't have been able to focus. He was more thankful than ever that he'd woken long before he was due on the bridge, though he wasn't sure if he wouldn't have said "fuck it," and taken care of his problem anyway, even if he would have been late. There had to be perks to being a General, no?

He'd slowly stroked himself, lying in bed where Rey's scent was at its strongest, imagining her wrapped around him, and recalling every moment that Kylo had been pressed against him, making him unbelievably hard. He spilled into his hand as soon as Kylo's words had flashed across his mind: _"Do you know what I'm thinking about right now… Taj? …You and I… and Rey… in your bed, naked as sin and reveling in it… in each other."_

"Fuck," Hux repeated to himself as he gripped the edge of his desk. He really needed to stop thinking about that, at least for the moment. Although Kylo had always been able to get under his skin, Hux prided himself on being able to focus when needs must.

He shoved the thought aside. He'd have time for it later. And oh _yes_ , he would be thinking about it later. Kylo's actions – and Rey's reactions, later – had _certainly_ given him a lot to think about. And what Kylo had _said?_ Yes, definitely time for that later.

He calmed his breathing, pulled his composure around him like a curtain, and pressed the button that would extend his video screen. He'd always preferred them to holograms.

"Armitage? Is that you?" Of course it was his mother, Marina, who answered. Her smiling, freckled face beamed at him across the visual feed from beneath a head piled high with blonde curls. She was a small woman, but her face looked slimmer than it had before. He frowned at her. "Boy, don't look at me like that!" she reprimanded gently, and Hux couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"I simply worry for your health, mother," he replied formally, though not unkindly. She had been sickly ever since he could remember, and Hux guessed that it had something to do with complications suffered during his birth, which was also why he didn't have any siblings. They had always been a private family, even with each other, but when Hux had matured he'd started to put bits and pieces together. As a result of being a single child in a prominent family such as his, the pressure had been immense… but well worth it in the end, he felt. Even with a father like his, life had not been entirely unbearable.

"There's nothing you need worry about besides giving me grandbabies – you hear that Armitage?" Her voice was kind but he knew it to be a falsity. His mother had always wanted grandchildren. He winced inwardly at what was going to come next. She always brought it up, and it was always worse when he tried to stop her. She was the only one he'd ever let walk all over him like this. "Before I'm dead!" she continued. "It was bad enough you kept me waiting for years while you _experimented_ with that boy, but now you're making me wait and I can't even tell what the reason for it is! At least back then I _knew_ what was keeping you – now I'm starting to think you're just doing it on purpose."

Hux froze at the mention of Leif. With the new information he'd just received, it made it that much more painful to think on his memory. Could he have prevented Leif's death? Was there something he could have changed, that would have averted what had happened? If he had known, then, that Snoke… that he – that he would _take care of_ Leif to ensure his future General's loyalties… would he have pushed Leif away to save his life? He'd always thought that he'd died in combat from enemy fire, but now that he _knew_ … it changed _everything._

His thoughts drifted towards Rey – even Kylo – and what Snoke had threatened pertaining to her. Would Snoke dare to kill a powerful Force user to ensure his loyalties, once again? Was he worth that much? He was sure that Snoke realized that following that course of action would not only alienate him, but also Kylo… they were not the young, oblivious men that they were before – perhaps not oblivious, but certainly less experienced. Surely the strength, power, and prestige that they had earned within the intervening years would be enough for them to call the Supreme Leader's bluff.

"There's someone, isn't there?" His mother's voice broke him out of the loop his mind had forced itself into. She'd always been a shrewd woman. With a mother and father like his, there was no wondering how he'd turned out the way he had. "And a woman at that, if I know your expression – and I better! Well? When do I get to meet –"

"Mother, please. I need to speak to father –" Hux kept his voice calm, though internally he was panicking. If his mother started to involve herself in this, there would be _no end_ to the havoc she could wreck.

"No! You always avoid me about these things, Armitage." Her thin lips took on a moue of disappointment.

"Mother," he interjected, grasping for something – anything – to throw her off. He hadn't seen her like this in _years_. "I wish to speak to father _about_ this woman. Please."

Her eyes lit up, and he could practically see the cogs turning inside her mind. "Well, why didn't you say so in the first place? I'll get your father. He was just going over class notes – though he's taught that class I don't know how many times…" she trailed off, before continuing. "You take care of yourself, and treat that young woman right, you hear?" She fixed him with a stern, but oddly caring, look, before flouncing off screen. "Brendol! Your son is on the comm! No! That means you come _now_ , not _later_."

Hux pinched the bridge of his nose. Great. He now had the greatest busy-body in the galaxy on his tail. He'd have to dole out carefully-selected information to his mother as time passed, to keep her from just randomly showing up on the _Finalizer_ one of these days.

No one needed that; least of all him.

There was a shuffling noise and Hux sat up straighter in his seat before his father's face filled the screen. The man's red hair was almost completely replaced by grey now, though his neatly-trimmed beard was still almost entirely red. His eyes narrowed as he looked over his son, eyes dwelling on his son's uniform especially. "Hello, son," he finally said in greeting. There was pride in there, but also expectation for the future. As ever when hearing that tone, Hux was caught between wanting to stand tall and to fall into a series of excuses for why he wasn't further advanced than he already was.

"Father," Hux replied, reining in his conflicted feelings. It was something he had great practice over, but it was also one of the reasons he chose to limit the contact he had with his mother and father.

"What can I do for you?" his father asked. Always straight to business, this man, and it was something that Hux absolutely appreciated.

He settled back in his chair, fingers tapping the edge of his desk, making a dull thumping sound beneath the leather of his gloves. "What can you tell me about kidnapped children from prominent First Order families? Say… around fourteen to sixteen years ago."


	12. Indomitable

Rey strode through the halls on her way to the Knight's training rooms, confident in her every step and chin held high as she passed groups or individual officers and Stormtroopers. She knew her place on this ship now, though where she would go from this point on was a nebulous concept. For now, however, she knew who and what she was in relation to everyone she passed.

Dressed in her usual training gear, lightsaber clipped to the belt at her hip, Rey was on her way to find Asha Ren. She had a few questions that she needed answers to, and this afternoon was the first chance she'd had to get the Knight alone outside of training.

A couple days had passed since beginning the memory shielding exercises, and Rey had somehow managed to get through them without her Master being able to pry further into the memory he had seen in her mind. They'd had two more training sessions, including one earlier today, but she had been able to keep him out of her mind with greater skill than that first day – it seemed that embarrassment was indeed a powerful motivator.

As for the General, she hadn't seen him since that morning in his rooms, though her Master had vaguely mentioned him being busy with plotting some course changes for one of their current long-term missions, and overseeing some aspect of training for a new group of Stormtroopers.

Rey had had plenty of time to think on how Kylo had answered her question about relationships within the First Order and the Knights. He'd certainly given her plenty to think about, at least.

While her original intention had been to needle her Master about what she'd observed between him and the General, his answer had sent her mind veering off into an entirely different direction. She'd wanted to see if he and Hux were capable of having a relationship within the boundaries set out by the First Order and the Knights… instead she had gotten stuck with thoughts of how it was entirely possible for her to have a relationship with Kylo or Hux. As a Knight, she could get involved with Hux, and as an apprentice, all she had to do was make it clear that she was choosing her Master, and it would be okay.

She wasn't as sure on how acceptable it would be to become involved with one or the other, if she ever did, though. They were both quite a bit older than she was. Hux was 34 and Kylo was 30 – at least that's what the database had said – and she was only 20, since the new standard year had come and gone a couple of months ago, marking her way of keeping track of her age. Yet… the age difference was only ever something she noticed when thinking about it through the arbitrary concept of numbers. When she was with them, they treated her as an equal, or at least near enough, and it never once crossed her mind that they were older than her. Yet she knew from listening to people over the years that many would be extremely aware of any large age gap between couples.

Both of the men were also in positions of great power within the structure of the First Order, and she a lowly apprentice… She had enough awareness of the way things worked in societies of many different types to know that women who "slept their way into positions of power" were often derided for their choice of partner, even if the two involved genuinely cared for each other.

If she ever did get involved with either of them, would it be considered proper?

But did she even want that?

Were they even interested in her?

Yes, they _definitely_ were.

Rey wasn't very familiar with human interactions of this sort, but she had observed enough from afar on Jakku, and felt the heat and passion of both men's gazes often enough, that she was reasonably sure that they were attracted to her. Yet, she was sure that they were also interested in each other. She'd seen the way they looked at one another, and practically felt the sizzling connection between them. It was nearly palpable in its intensity, and had often left her feeling empty and _aching_ for hours afterwards. If Hux and Kylo felt so strongly about each other, why were they looking at her like… like they wanted her, as well?

Rey was simply confused. She might know her place in the order of the ship, but that did not seem to extend towards her place with her two closest allies on board. She wasn't sure if they would welcome her interest or not. She knew they were interested… but would that interest last if she wished it to be more than a passing tryst? Rey wasn't interested in anything less – from either of them. They were becoming far too important to her to let a quick foray into physical intimacy get in the way of their greater connection, no matter who she chose to pursue.

 _If_ she chose to pursue one.

For that matter… would the pursuit of one ruin her relationship with the other? Rey wasn't sure if she was willing to find out the answer to that question. She'd lost too much in her life to risk losing more. Her family, her home, her childhood, her chance at a future with the Resistance…

No. It was better to leave it alone for now.

Rey shoved aside that train of thought for the moment, choosing instead to prepare herself for her conversation with Asha. She'd called ahead to make sure that the Knight would be in the Knight's training facility at this time, and Rey was nearly there.

"Lady Asha," Rey greeted as she swept into the armory. She barely paused to issue a shallow bow before lounging on one of the benches placed around the room. Rey had become far more self-assured in the weeks since her arrival, and now knew that she and the fully-fledged Knight were only barely separated in their status within the ranking structure of the Knights of Ren. Although Asha and Ja'al were her teachers for much of her weapons training, as the First Knight's apprentice, Rey was only slightly below other Knights in status.

It made for an interesting line to walk when conversing or training with the other Knights, that was for sure. Neither Asha nor Ja'al had been reacting particularly well to Rey's increased confidence in her status, and the assertive behavior that she had been displaying with that knowledge – yet there was very little they could do. Ja'al remained as rude and aggressive as before, but even Asha had been testing the boundaries of late. Rey had to be increasingly poised and on guard around her.

"Lady Rey," replied Asha. The dark-haired Knight was using a whetstone on one of the ancient-style swords. Kylo had mentioned briefly that there was always something satisfying about using swords with a sharp, keen edge over the humming fierceness of a lightsaber. Rey had yet to try one out, though she was intrigued by the appreciation that had lit up her Master's eyes when he had brought the subject up.

"And how is our Master doing today?" Asha asked.

Rey's gaze sharpened on Asha at that. There was something in the woman's tone, when she had brought up Kylo, that didn't quite sound like a Knight simply asking after the status of her First Knight. There was something more there… Perhaps a connection in their past?

Rey remained silent, sizing up the other Knight, wondering at the other woman's history with her Master. She hadn't considered that before – that perhaps Kylo had been involved with Asha, or one of the other Knights.

"What did you wish to meet with me about, Lady Rey?" Asha broke into Rey's musings. The older woman did not look the least bit concerned at receiving only silence from Rey.

Rey paused a moment, gathering her thoughts around her once more. It wouldn't do to have her mind wander while conversing with one of the Knights. She must always be on her toes, ready for anything.

"As you may have heard whispers of, there was an altercation between myself and Alec Ren a while back, before D'Qar," Rey began. She felt her features twitching with the desire to draw up into a snarl and was only barely able to contain herself at the memory of the disgusting man assaulting her in the hallway. She had wanted to deal with the man for days now, but hadn't quite known how to best get her point across. It needed to be a statement, and a public one. Rey didn't have the knowledge on how best to go about that, so here she was, asking the advice of Asha.

Asha only nodded, keeping her face carefully schooled.

"I wish to… repay him," Rey continued, an edge to her tone. "Yet I do not know how best to go about it. What ways can I best make an example of him, Lady Asha?"

"Well why don't you ask your... Master…" The insinuation was clear in Asha's tone that she thought there was much more going on between Rey and Kylo Ren. "…to take care of Alec? Seems he'd be happy enough to do anything to get into your pants. Or the General. Goodness, you have those two wrapped around your finger, don't you?" Of course Asha would take this opportunity to push at Rey, when she was requesting the other woman's assistance. She hadn't been able to leave well enough alone recently, chafing at Rey asserting more and more authority within the halls of the Knights. Asha was certainly showing her true colors, now.

Quick as a flash, Rey summoned the blade in Asha's lap to her hands, reveling in the feel of the cool leather of the hilt against her palm for a moment even as she darted forward off of the bench she'd been lounging on. The Force aided her movements, lending her speed and agility as she rushed the other Knight and shoved her against the wall, the leading edge of the sword's blade held snugly against Asha's throat. Asha held herself incredibly still, hardly daring to breathe lest she cut her throat on an exhale. Her eyes were wide, as if she hadn't expected Rey to dare to attack her as she had.

Rey leaned in closer, though she was mindful of the pressure she was placing on the blade. She wanted to make a point, not actually kill the Knight. "Let me make this as clear for you as possible, Asha," Rey stated icily, voice even and completely controlled. The lack of Asha's title did not go unnoticed. "Are you paying attention to me, Asha? Blink twice if you are."

Asha blinked twice.

"Good. I will not repeat myself again, so you better continue to pay attention. If I ever feel you have forgotten my message, the following encounter will not be nearly as pleasant as this one." Rey pressed on the blade slightly, feeling Asha's flesh give very slightly. She didn't need to look down to know that there was a thin trickle of blood flowing from beneath the blade – Asha's expression said it all. "Heed my words, Asha. I do _not_ and never _will_ need someone else to fight my battles for me. I will _always_ take care of those who get in my way, by myself. Do you understand?" Rey pulled back on the blade until it was hovering inches away from Asha's skin.

"Yes," Asha replied, slightly shaken. Rey was convinced that Asha had understood the very thinly veiled threat.

Good.

Rey continued while she still held the advantage. "Also, whatever is going on between myself, my Master, and even General Hux, is _our_ business alone. Let me make it completely clear that if I do decide to pursue something with one or both of them –" Rey winced inwardly at those last words, but it was already too late to withdraw them, "That it is my choice, and I do so of my own volition. So do _not_ interfere, or there will be much to answer for."

Rey took two large steps back from the Knight, hefting the sword from one hand to the other. She stared at it a moment before looking up again at Asha through her lashes. "Now tell me how the Knights of Ren resolve personal slights."

* * *

"As the challenged, Alec Ren will choose the weapons to be used in the duel." Asha's voice rang out, clear as a bell for all those assembled. Rey was sure she was the only one who could notice the slightly hoarse edge to the woman's voice, though the high collar of her shirt was an unusual choice for Asha to wear and must have made at least a few people pause. "Alec, what choose you?"

As the young man considered his options, angrily glaring across the large training hall at her, Rey pointedly ignored him, instead observing the assembled crowd. It was late in the evening, after dinner, yet Rey had found that when the First Knight's apprentice issued an official challenge for a duel, requesting the presence of all affiliated with the Knights… everyone made time for the duel in question.

Her Master, though somewhat surprised to have received her summons over the comm, had almost gleefully answered that he would be there. Obviously the General had caught wind of the whole affair as well, as he was propped against the wall beside her Master.

She didn't need to look behind her to feel their eyes on her.

Just seeing them when they first entered had been enough to set her heart racing; she couldn't afford more of a distraction. She was already hyper-aware of them, and was steadily trying to calm herself with breathing techniques.

Focusing her anger on Alec Ren seemed to help, so she tried her best to maintain her feelings in that direction.

Finally, Alec spoke up, and her eyes finally made contact with his. "Daggers," he stated boldly. He was broadcasting heavily, and Rey couldn't help but pick up on his thought that he had never seen Rey with a dagger before. He must think that she wasn't competent with one.

Rey let a smirk slowly draw across her face as she held his gaze, and reveled in the feeling of fear flashing across his mind at the sight.

"Accepted," Rey replied when Asha motioned to her.

"Then so be it," Asha intoned, formulaically. "Alec Ren, choose your weapons first and present them for inspection."

Alec whipped out two daggers from sheaths at his sides, long blades that nearly looked like short swords. Asha raised an eyebrow at him, but said nothing. She inspected the blades, nodded, and then turned to Rey.

"Lady Rey? You may choose from the armory if you do not have a weapon of your own."

Rey nodded, but made no motion towards the armory. Instead, she flicked her gaze around the room, finally settling on one of the human female trainees. She crooked her finger at the woman, and ordered, "Sarai, your dagger if you will." They both knew that it was not a question. Rey watched as the younger woman – girl, really – struggled to find a way to gracefully ignore the order from her superior.

And superior, she was.

Rey saw the moment that Sarai finally came to terms with this, stepping forward and offering her dagger hilt first to the First Knight's apprentice. The blonde girl bowed lower than was required as she proffered the blade, whispering, "Good luck," under her breath as Rey took it from her.

Rey smiled softly in return, then turned away from the girl and showed it to Asha. "This will do nicely," Rey stated. "It reminds me of the blade I used for _years_ back on Jakku." Her choice of words was deliberately calculated to show her familiarity with the weapon chosen for this duel. It did indeed look much like the dagger she'd used in the past, ten inches long with a hefty, padded hilt and a sizeable cross guard.

Rey took great pleasure in seeing Alec blanch, even though he quickly wiped his expression back to blankness.

Asha raised one perfectly curved eyebrow at Rey, but said nothing besides, "Acceptable," after inspecting the commandeered blade. She strode to the side of the sparring ring, stepping outside of the large circle marked on the floor before she spoke again, loudly. "The duel is to incapacitation, or to yield," she announced clearly. "Bloodletting is allowed, of course – some would say it is encouraged." Some of the trainees laughed at this. "Use of the Force is allowed, as well."

Rey smiled, though not pleasantly, as she caught Alec's eyes again. He was turning paler and paler as he realized just what he had gotten himself into. Rey felt only the tiniest bit of pity for the man, quickly set aside at the memory of what he'd tried to do to her.

"There is no time limit," Asha continued. "You may begin."

Rey wasted no time, pulling her dagger up across her body as she ran at Alec. The man was frozen in place for a moment before he dodged her downward stroke at the last second, ducking to Rey's left and coming up under her guard with both daggers slicing towards her middle.

Flinging herself backwards, Rey tugged on the Force to give her an extra little boost to get out of his reach. This gave her just enough time to set her feet and parry Alec's next blow, shoving him away from her with a Force push before he could bring the other dagger up to strike.

Rey followed right on his heels, and landed a slash across his midsection before he could bring either dagger up in a block. The dagger cut easily through the cloth of his tunic and undershirt, and scored a deep enough gash in the skin of his abdomen that blood fell freely from the wound.

It was clear that Rey was the quicker of the two, especially with her use of the Force, but Alec was no pushover either, she was coming to find. He had the advantage in sheer strength and viciousness, and Rey would need to be mindful of that if she were to succeed. The way he was simply ignoring his dripping wound, as if nothing had happened, spoke volumes of his self-control.

He charged her, thrusting out with one hand to deflect her quickly-summoned Force push. He didn't do what she anticipated, however – he did not come at her with an overhanded strike – and instead threw himself behind her in a roll, coming to his feet and slashing at the back of her knee and her lower back with both daggers. Rey was barely able to pull herself away just enough that he did not connect solidly with her, though she felt a fiery line being drawn across both targeted areas.

The bastard had tried to hamstring her! She couldn't say she was surprised, though; this _was_ a no-holds barred fight to incapacitation.

Rey snarled at him anyway, letting her anger course through her. She lifted her dagger, holding it in front of her in a guard position as she turned to face him full-on. She could feel the blood seeping down her leg, soaking her leggings, and felt a current of air sear across the wound on her back. Yet she chose instead to focus the pain of her wounds into something useable, channeling it as one with the anger suffusing her, and ruling both the pain and anger rather than letting them rule her.

Alec snarled right back at her, though he remained quiet. Rey was almost disappointed that he didn't talk as he fought; it showed that he was far more experienced than his hotheadedness made it appear. In fact, she was somewhat impressed at the level of experience and control he was exhibiting against her, especially as he dodged, parried, and blocked her next thrusts, stabs and slashes. Although she was on the offensive, Rey felt that it was a tenuous lead at best. He was a far greater opponent than she'd given him credit for. Though really, that was her fault. She knew that the Knights were trained by the best to _be_ the best, all with exceptional skills in the martial arts and some degree of competency in the arts of the Force – to have underestimated him so much was only pure arrogance on her part. It was not a mistake she would make again.

They circled each other, landing minor cuts, as well as bruises from hilts and the flat sides of the blades. They traded blow for blow, cut for cut, and Rey was no longer aware of the passage of time. They could have been doing this for hours, or just minutes – there was no way for her to know how much time exactly had passed through the haze of battle. Her vision had narrowed almost exclusively to the battle, though she refused to let herself focus only on the man before her.

She tried her best to constantly be aware of the entire field of battle – the circle, in this case.

Rey wasn't exactly sure if she was allowed to step over the line, but she chose not to risk it. It was a large enough ring, in any case, that it shouldn't matter.

Rey bided her time, using the stamina she'd gained from her years scavenging in the desert to great effect. As Alec wore down steadily – obviously living for years on a ship was not the best for endurance training – Rey's sharp eye noted that he was starting to lower his guard on his left side. She'd had enough of this duel, and wanted to end it soon so that she could move on with the rest of her day, but she didn't let her eagerness to end the fight morph into impatience.

Waiting for just the right moment, Rey made sure to chip away at his left side with a few more well-placed cuts across his arms when she could manage to score a hit.

Finally she saw her opportunity. Rey ducked under the slash from his right arm and shoved her knife into the meaty part of flesh between his left shoulder and pectoral muscle, quickly pulling her weapon back out again, ramming him behind the ear with the heavy hilt on her backswing.

He dropped like a stone.

Rey snarled again, jumping backwards and dropping into a crouch, at the ready in case he got to his feet again.

He didn't.

After another thirty seconds or so of nothing but the sounds of her harsh breathing, Asha paced forward. She reached down to feel Alec's pulse, and then stood up. "He'll live. But he is most _definitely_ incapacitated," she announced dryly.

Rey stood up slowly, wiping her blade absentmindedly on her tunic until it was clean. She looked out across the observers, taking careful notice of those who looked pleased or angry – or anything else – at her victory. Ja'al Ren, of course, was glowering, as were Alec's friends. The rest were caught between neutral and pleased, a fact which Rey was only too happy to notice. She deliberately chose not to look at her Master or Hux, instead motioning for Sarai to come forward once again.

"Sarai Ren," she raised her voice so that all could hear. "Thank you for the use of your weapon. I will not forget." She handed the weapon back to the girl with a small bow of acknowledgment.

"Lady Rey," the blonde returned, her voice filled with awe and pleasure as she accepted the return of her weapon with trembling hands.

Rey winked at her in a manner that only she and Sarai would notice, before motioning the girl away.

Rey swept her gaze across those gathered again, and then continued, voice steely and face composed. "Some of you might forget yourself, but maybe you will take this win as a warning: do _not_ mess with me. I have earned my place here with you, let alone my place as the First Knight's apprentice, through skill. There is a _reason_ that I was chosen, and that you were not. I may make enemies on this day, but as long as you remember who and _what_ I am, and respect me – or fear me, if that is your choice – that is all that matters. Alec Ren forgot his place, and he has paid the price as a result. Be sure to think long and hard on your actions and words, unless you wish to be where he is now. Have I made myself clear?"

There was a moment where Rey wasn't sure if they would respond, and she worried that she had overstepped herself. She refused to look at her Master – though she could feel him and Hux's eyes boring into her back as she stood before the group – in case she would see only disappointment there or, worse yet, anger. Her speech was a calculated risk, but she had a feeling he would approve. She just didn't want to know until afterwards. It was important that she establish herself here, once and for all, before any other… unfortunate incidents occurred.

One by one, the trainees bowed to her in acknowledgement of her words, until every last one of them was bent at the waist. Ja'al and Asha simply bent their heads briefly as her gaze swept over them, and Rey felt a small smile tugging at her lips which she fought to keep under control. Now was not the time.

Yet she couldn't quite keep the smile under control once her eyes landed on Kylo and Hux, who were both still standing in their spots from before the fight. Rey let her lips twitch upwards, and Hux responded with his own quirk of his lips. His eyes expressed pride at her actions for a brief moment before he wiped both smile and expression off of his face. Kylo, who had taken his mask off for the duel, was staring intently at her, face expressionless. Rey couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling, until he lifted one brow at her. It was enough to broadcast even the barest hint of approval.

That was enough for Rey to sigh internally, content that he wasn't mad at her actions. To have her Master admire a plan that she had put into place without his consent was a great relief, and she was extremely pleased with herself to have succeeded at her task. At least as far as today showed. The fallout of today's power play remained to be seen. Perhaps, over time, she could show how much of an ally she could be, and not just as an apprentice.

"That will be all," Rey finally announced to the assembled crowd. She then proceeded towards the two men waiting for her. She passed through a few trainees on her way by, and all of them took a step backwards as she passed. She met as many of their eyes as she could, holding their gazes until it was no longer possible.

None of them challenged her. It only remained to be seen how long that would last.

Rey stopped once she reached the General and her Master, and then dropped into a deep bow before them, holding the position. Rey could feel the eyes of every other Knight of Ren on her and the two men. _Good, let them watch_ , Rey thought. She was late to the game of manipulation and posturing, but was catching on quickly. She had established dominance over them… now let them see who she bent knee to.

"Master. General," she greeted, holding her position.

"Rise, Lady Rey," her Master drawled. "Well done." She could hear the pride suffusing his voice, and couldn't help but preen a little as she stood up straight once more.

Kylo raised his voice. "Leave us now, Knights, trainees. Return to your duties," he commanded.

All three of them stood and watched in silence as the training room was quickly cleared out.

Rey was the first to break the silence. "So… is there anywhere I can get these clothes mended? I seem to have acquired some holes in them," she joked lightheartedly.

She didn't miss the way that Kylo's jaw clenched and his eyes hardened at the reminder that she had been cut open, his gaze darting up and down her body as if he were reassuring himself that she would live, for now at least.

Before Kylo could say anything, Hux spoke up. "Why don't you just buy some new clothes? Surely you could use some new ones by now, and there's no sense in wearing mended clothes. You need to make a statement as Kylo's apprentice; no way should you be wearing worn clothes."

Rey simply stared at him. "Buy… new clothes? Where? With what money?" Rey was genuinely perplexed.

"Oh _kriff_ ," she heard Kylo breathe out. "Rey. I forgot entirely…" he looked honestly upset at himself for a brief moment, before glancing around and closing his face off once again. Rey quickly shelved the brief thought that they were making fun of her and her upbringing.

Hux glanced around, walked down the adjacent hall a few paces, and then entered a code on a nearby door. "Inside," he commanded softly.

Once they were inside the empty room, Kylo turned to Rey. She looked up at him, confused. "What's going on?" Rey was sweaty, tired, and the pain from her wounds was finally starting to come to the front and center of her awareness.

Yet what he said next wiped that all from her mind.

"You have a salary, as a Knight of Ren affiliated with the First Order," Kylo explained. "I simply forgot to tell you, in the… excitement of the last few weeks."

Hux scoffed. "You just _forgot_ to tell your apprentice that she had a salary?" He turned to Rey, taking a step closer but stopping short of touching her. He sighed, and then ran his hand over his hair. "You can go to the commissary to purchase practically anything you'd like. You just give them your name and military I.D. and they will charge your account. If you can't find what you're looking for, they can order it for you. As for the balance of your account, you can access it through your datapad. I'll show you how when we next get the chance."

Rey held up her hand, practically begging for silence. She was being overloaded with information, and overcome with thoughts and feelings. They gave her the silence she so desired, settling back uncomfortably on their heels and glancing awkwardly at one another.

She didn't know what to think. For years, she'd never had two credits to rub together, even figuratively speaking. Her life had been an endless round of scavenge traded for an increasingly dwindling supply of portions, her skills barely keeping up with the ability to keep food on the table. She had dreamed so often of all the things that she would buy if she'd had the credits – but they had only ever been _dreams_. She'd dreamt of – as best she'd been able to with limited knowledge, basing most everything off of stories, nothing more – a ship, a home, a real _bed_ , books and droids of all sorts, food and water in abundance, a table with chairs to eat at, more than one set of clothes… _clean_ clothes, and the ability to _keep them that way_. And so much _more_.

She'd never figured out what she would buy first, because she'd known that she'd _never_ have the money to do so.

But… now she did.

Rey opened her eyes – she hadn't even realized she'd closed them – and took a deep breath. She'd been feeling so powerful not just ten minutes ago, high on her win against Alec and the establishment of her position within the ranks of the Knights. Yet here she was now, feeling completely raw and wide-open emotionally, open to perusal by the two men sharing the otherwise empty room with her. Part of her was astounded at the way her mind was able to completely reverse directions, instigated again and again by Hux and Kylo.

Both of whom were staring at her with varying degrees of worry, as if concerned for her mental state.

They needn't worry. She wasn't going to go off the deep end. However… she _did_ need to be alone. She needed to sort out exactly what she was feeling.

Squaring her shoulders, Rey met both of their eyes and then nodded. "I apologize. I've just… never had a salary before – not one with actual credits, at least," she explained. There was no sense in hiding that fact, though she didn't expect that it was really a secret. They _did_ know where she came from, and could guess at much of the circumstances she experienced while growing up. "I needed a moment." She continued before they could say anything, "If you will excuse me?"

"Rey –" They both spoke out at once, as if to stop her. She could tell that if she stayed, though, she wouldn't be responsible for any emotional outbursts she gave into. It wasn't that she was feeling weak right now… No, she didn't know how she felt. She'd been given a great gift; a great privilege. But she simply couldn't _process it_ right at this moment.

She was out the door before they could stop her.

* * *

 **Note: Thanks to my beta Annaelle for being my cheerleader with this chapter way back when I originally wrote this. Fight scenes are HARD, and I find Rey the most difficult of these three to write, oddly enough (so of course I write nearly 5500 words of her).**

 **Thanks, as ever, to all of you readers and reviewers, and to those who support me on tumblr! (I'm on tumblr at Juuls.)**


	13. Revelation

"I have heard tell that you have a lead pertaining to the scavenger's origins," Supreme Leader Snoke said suddenly, his voice low and menacing compared to what it had been moments before.

The change of topic felt unexpected and abrupt to General Hux, who had been busy controlling his emotions as they discussed plans for and intelligence about the Resistance. He was feeling much more _himself_ today compared to the last time he'd been here, meeting with Snoke, fresh from the fight on D'Qar… which was definitely a good thing, he mused, as he needed to be strong and in control. Anger had infused him and festered since the last encounter, when Snoke had mentioned… had _threatened_ Rey with the same fate as _Leif_.

Because, if nothing else… Hux knew how to read between the lines.

But he also knew the time and place for emotions such as that, and now was not the time, nor the place.

He rather liked _living_.

Keeping his emotions in check and his face serious, Hux answered as vaguely as he dared, unsure of where the Supreme Leader was going with this line of questioning. "Yes, I have met with some degree of success and am currently attempting to verify my information, my lord."

Snoke's eyes sharpened on Hux and the man resisted both the urge to run and the urge to shout obscenities at the hologram.

He took as deep of a breath as he could without drawing attention to the fact that he was doing so. He felt increasingly out of control these last few weeks, and he had a sneaking suspicion – actually, it was more like a glaring fact – that the addition of Rey into his life had a lot to do with it. That… and his increasing awareness of how exactly he was coming to feel for her – and for Kylo Ren. He felt like his life was lacking structure and predictability, which had been something he had previously strived for at all times. Now… he was finding he didn't mind its lack so much.

Hux could feel Kylo Ren's gaze burning into him from beneath his mask. He refused to look at the taller man, however. There was enough to distract him as it were. He felt Kylo – he knew it had to be that insufferable man, as it was too _gentle_ to be the Supreme Leader – brush against his mind, but not enter. Hux had always been able to get vague feelings off of the other man when his mind was touched like that, but all he could sense this time was… no, it couldn't be _concern_ , could it?

Perhaps the First Knight was just bored and wanted him to get on with it.

For that matter, all _he_ wanted to do was get this audience over and done with, as well.

There was a time when he would have relished every encounter with the powerful Force user, back when he was unsure of his own power, and had stood in awe of the Supreme Leader and all the power at his beck and call… but no longer. It had been coming for a while now, a slow descent – but recent events had certainly swept away the illusion that Hux realized he'd been living under for years now.

The illusion that Snoke was anything but a power-hungry beast using the First Order for his own means and ambitions. There was nothing honorable or justifiable about the man – creature, his mind supplied – anymore.

Hux wasn't even sure there ever had been.

He was becoming increasingly aware that Snoke's goals did not line up with Hux's own visions of bringing peace and order to the galaxy… perhaps they were even running counterproductive to said goals.

Hux suddenly remembered where he was and was vaguely horrified that he had let his mind slip away to such traitorous thoughts. Thank the stars that he hadn't felt the touch of Snoke's mind to his – though that was _never_ a guarantee.

Stiffening his spine, Hux went on to explain in further detail, as the Supreme Leader was obviously waiting for him to elaborate. "There is a… possibility that I have found her parents. I am not sure if they are alive or dead as of right now, but I am running the DNA first before I track down their records. Seems the last mention of them in _my_ databanks dates back a good ten years or so. Nothing more recent than that."

"They are First Order, then?" Snoke sounded oddly curious.

Hux saw Kylo Ren turn his mask towards him from the corner of his eye, obviously curious as well with what the answer would be.

"As I said, I am not sure as of yet, but if my current line of questioning bears fruit, then yes, they are First Order. Dating back to the Empire, in fact."

"Interesting," Snoke murmured, drumming his fingers on the armrest of his throne.

His next words brought the hairs on the back of Hux's neck to attention. He felt chilled as Snoke announced, "If they are alive, they are not to interfere with the scaven – with Lady Rey's training. I do not want them anywhere near her. She is to detach herself from any and all familial relations, as all they are are distractions. In fact, I'd far prefer it if they were dead. Then they would be a non-issue." He made a humming noise, bringing a long finger to his lips. "In fact… Kylo Ren?"

"Yes, Master?" hissed Kylo's modulated voice.

"See to it that they are a non-issue if it comes to that," Snoke commanded.

Hux was about to protest, shocked at the near-explicit instruction that Snoke was issuing. Snoke _knew_ how they felt about Rey, and he was expecting them to keep this _silent_? Hux knew that she would find out somehow, sometime. What would that _do_ to Rey if she were to lose all chance and hopes of her family when she was so close to them now, finally? For that matter, what would it do to _him_ if he were to know about this and do nothing –

' _Quiet, fool,'_ whispered Kylo's voice in his mind. _'Do not even dare to open your mouth on this topic.'_

Out loud, Kylo Ren bowed towards the Supreme Leader, the man who had been his Master, and spoke, "Yes, Master. It will be done."

Snoke settled back in his throne, his mind already moving on from the topic at hand, dismissing it as unimportant. "Good."

Hux could barely quell the rage boiling up inside of him, his hand brushing the blaster pistol on his hip. He needed to get out of here before –

"You are dismissed. Contact me next when there are updates on tracking the Resistance's location. Otherwise I will call for you when I am ready to meet with the girl," Snoke said absently. His hand was already reaching to terminate the holo-transmission.

Hux didn't even bow. He was already on his way out of the audience chamber, strides eating up the distance to the door.

It wasn't until he was halfway to the bridge that he realized the First Knight had kept pace with him the entire way, though he was only a couple of steps behind him.

Hux came to an abrupt halt in an empty corridor, out of the way of the usually-tread paths on the ship. The comfort of being on _his_ ship that he usually felt was not with him today, and he found his shoulders struggling to be still as he breathed in more heavily than normal.

The First Knight took two steps towards Hux, who had not turned around to face him. Hux could feel the heat of his presence close behind him, and he forced himself to calm down and regain control of his emotions – or at least his bodily reactions to said emotional turmoil. It was unacceptable how out of control he'd been of late.

The man behind him was only _part_ of the reason.

"Tonight," Kylo Ren began, inches from his ear. He'd always had a _thing_ for getting in Hux's personal space. The 'fresher… had been just the latest permutation of the game the Knight of Ren had been playing with Hux for years.

Kylo cut himself off with a chuckle. "As much as it flatters me that you are thinking of _that_ , you need to control yourself, General."

Hux whirled around, a quick retort drawn to his lips. How _dare_ this insufferable man make it out to seem like _he_ couldn't control himself, when all of this was a result of Kylo Ren's complete inability to control his _own_ actions?

Kylo's gloved hand darted up to grip Hux's chin before he could open his mouth, gripping his jaw tightly to prevent him from jerking out of his grasp. "You were projecting. I didn't look," he reassured. Hux hadn't been expecting that, and his body stilled entirely, listening to the other man. He kept his gaze fixed on the mask, glaring, however.

"Keep yourself in control, General," Kylo Ren repeated, dropping his hand. "Save your thoughts for later. The emotions you were feeling in the audience chamber were rather… obvious to me."

Hux's eyes widened, a slight thrill of fear curling its way through his body. Kylo seemed able to correctly read his expression. "No, if he had noticed, you would be…" _'…dead,'_ whispered the last word in his mind.

"We will talk later. In the Lounge. Eleven o'clock." With that, Kylo Ren strode past the General, the clomping of his booted feet fading into the distance.

Hux could only blink, nearly lost in his thoughts as he struggled to make heads or tails of what Kylo Ren had _meant_.

Did this mean…?

Was he dissatisfied with the Supreme Leader as well?

Hux had had his suspicions over the years about the First Knight's feelings for the man who was his Master, but had never had proof. But… the mere fact that the Knight wished to speak about this, and hadn't immediately turned him in… that was proof enough.

Wasn't it?

Years ago… even a few _months_ ago, Hux wouldn't have hesitated to go to the Supreme Leader with his thoughts and accusations. But now… well, it seemed like he'd end up just as dead as Kylo Ren if he did that now. Now… well, where would that leave Rey if he and Kylo ended up dead, or worse?

Clenching his jaw, Hux straightened his uniform, and then turned around and continued his way to the bridge. Oddly enough, he felt calmer. Even though this could all be an elaborate ploy by the First Knight, Hux's instincts told him that it wasn't.

He'd still have to be careful, however.

It wouldn't do to be _entirely_ stupid.

* * *

Kylo Ren drained the last of his brandy as he angrily cast a glare about the Knight's Lounge. He and Hux had been sitting in their arm chairs by the fireplace for the last twenty minutes in silence, waiting impatiently for the room to clear out to a tolerable level. It seemed like everyone had chosen to spend their evening here tonight.

There was no way he was going to start a conversation with the General until more people had left. Sure, he could have spoken with the General in one of their quarters, in private, but that contained dangers of its own, not least of which was the desire to _touch_ the man that consumed him every time he was near.

But also, they needed to keep up the appearance of a regular schedule, and their regular drinks in the Lounge were part of that schedule. No, it wouldn't do to arouse more suspicion than was necessary.

Perhaps if he glared at some of the occupants, they would feel the desire to leave. However, that would be suspicious as well, as normally Kylo Ren ignored everyone – except the General and his Apprentice – once he sat down in the Lounge. No one bothered him, and he bothered no one. It was oddly… peaceful; the only place he could relax in public.

The atmosphere in the Lounge tonight was tense, and Kylo Ren had a good idea as to why that was. There was no Alec Ren or Rey in sight, but he had heard their names crop up fairly often since he had arrived, though the voices had always been kept down, as if afraid to call attention to their words.

He smirked, and caught Hux's gaze. He had turned towards him, lifting an eyebrow as if in question. Kylo's smirk grew. "The fear… the _respect_ for my apprentice is palpable. I am merely amused by what I am sensing and hearing from the Knights. It is as if they have never seen or felt anyone exercise control over them in such a manner. In such an absolute way."

Hux smiled softly, his eyes growing distant as if he were viewing a memory. "It was a sight to behold," he murmured. "She did well, our Rey. I had no idea she was planning such a thing. But I am glad that she did. It has certainly sent your clutch of ducklings into a tizzy."

Kylo's mouth went dry and he stared at his empty glass as if he could will more liquid into it.

Hux had said 'our Rey'. _Ours_.

Sure, he had thought about it, but to have Hux mention it, even so casually… Actually, the fact that it had been so casual was even more telling than if it had been a deliberate choice of words. He knew Hux well enough by now to know that that had been an off-hand remark. Hux hadn't intended the words specifically; hadn't even thought of them, if he were to guess. They had just slipped out.

And _that_ was telling.

The sudden increase in volume as a group of trainees passed them on their way to the door snapped Kylo out of his thoughts. He grasped for the thread of the conversation that he had let fall by the wayside. "Yes… yes, she did do well," he replied absently.

Kylo only barely took note of Hux's eyebrows rising even further towards his hairline.

Finally, as the group that had passed them exited the room, there was enough calmness in the lounge for Kylo to bring up what had happened earlier. There were a few stragglers, but they were mostly conversing quietly or reading by themselves.

It was getting late, and they would seek their beds soon enough.

' _You must be wondering why I agreed to Snoke's indirect order to kill Rey's family, if you are to find them,'_ he spoke into Hux's mind, keeping his awareness just on the edge of the other man's consciousness.

It was just enough to sense emotions, but not to read his thoughts. He had worked long and hard to hone his abilities to such a precise skill level. There had been times he'd blundered through the older man's mind when he was younger, to great anger, but as soon as he had learned enough control, he had held himself in check. He hated it when his former Master did it to _him_ – why would he do it to a man he respected, and whom he wished to have respect from?

The only indication that Hux had heard him was his gaze flicking to Kylo's, then away. Finally, he nodded once, nearly imperceptibly, and he turned slightly in his chair so that he was turned more towards Kylo.

Kylo took that as a request to continue. _'I have no intention of following that order, but he needs to believe that I will. At least until it's too late for him to do anything about it.'_

"You sound like you have done this before," Hux murmured.

Kylo shot the observant man a sharp look. "Yes," he stated shortly.

"Care to elaborate?" Hux pushed, lifting his glass to his lips to take a small sip. Kylo's eyes lingered on his throat as he swallowed.

"No," he said out loud, even as he spoke into Hux's mind. _'Suffice it to say, that I have been feeling as you felt today for a few years now.'_

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

"And what exactly is that?"

Hux was certainly demonstrating skill at holding this conversation in a way that would not be obviously out of place to anyone who happened to overhear them, and Kylo felt rather impressed.

' _Disillusioned. Disaffected. Angry… Betrayed.'_

Kylo could sense incredulity warring with the desire to believe him, inside of Hux's mind. It was as if Hux was desperate to latch onto anyone who shared the same thoughts and feelings as he did, new as they were to him.

He need an ally – anyone, really.

Kylo was glad to have realized that Hux was starting to feel the same way about the Supreme Leader as he had for years now – it was only luck that it had been him and not Snoke who had noticed first. They would need to be careful, but perhaps something could be done, finally.

Something _needed_ to be done.

He repeated as much to Hux. _'He is getting out of hand. There was a time I believed in him, but his aspirations are increasingly diverging from that of the First Order. And_ that _above all else is what I believe in. I have done as much as I could to head him off in the last few years, but he is increasingly trying to ruin everything that you… we… have worked towards.'_

Hux inclined his head slowly, thoughtfully, not letting on externally at how startled he was on the inside. But Kylo could _feel_ it. He could also feel a hint of satisfaction and anticipation coming from the other man. "And have you thought of how best to handle this situation?" Hux finally asked, keeping his voice quiet, though not whispering.

"At length," Kylo returned.

"You're serious, aren't you?" Hux mused.

"More serious than anything I've ever felt before." _'Especially now that he has threatened Rey. He must pay,'_ he ventured, testing the waters.

"Indeed," Hux responded quickly as his eyes glinted with barely suppressed rage.

Kylo reveled in the emotional wave coming off of the General. The emotion felt so similar to what he was experiencing himself over the thought of losing Rey, and he marveled over the fact that he was not feeling any jealousy at the thought.

"And you? You are serious as well?" he asked. He needed confirmation. He felt, for the first time in years, like there was _hope_ of coming out of this fight on top. He would have fought anyway… but now there was someone to fight _for_ , and someone to fight _with_ – two someones, in fact. He didn't argue with his mind as he acknowledged that he would fight to protect Rey _and_ Hux, and that Rey would be just as much of a formidable ally as Hux was. That, more than anything, offered him a sense of empowerment.

Hux clenched his fist around his glass until it creaked. "Yes," he gritted out. "Leif…"

Kylo felt a twinge of compassion for the other man. _'It hurts to find out the truth, doesn't it,'_ he offered.

"Did you know?" Hux wouldn't look at him, keeping his eyes fixed on his glass.

"No. But there was… there was…" Kylo shut his mouth as soon as Hux lifted his gaze to meet his, eyes filled with curiosity, but also with a deep sadness. There was compassion there as well, as if Hux suspected exactly what Kylo was feeling – and perhaps he did.

Kylo blinked and looked away, lifting his hand to comb through his hair. _'Rey must not meet the same fate as Leif. I would die before letting that occur.'_ He didn't even stop to think of the truth on that subject, but obviously Hux was doing it for him.

"You would…"

Kylo flushed, and then stood abruptly. "Enough." The other two remaining occupants of the Lounge glanced up at him curiously, and then flicked their gazes away again so as not to incite the rage of their Master.

"I would, as well," Hux continued quietly, honestly, and for his ears alone.

Kylo whirled around. Before he could do anything but pierce Hux's eyes where he was still sitting, nonchalant, in his armchair, a new voice intruded.

"Master?"

It was Rey's voice.

Kylo's eyes widened briefly but he quickly blanked out his expression and calmed his breathing down so that he could turn around and address his apprentice.

His Rey. _Their_ Rey.

"Rey," he greeted her. She was dressed in the Knight's half-cloak that he had given her the morning of the attack on D'Qar, over top of a loose-flowing training outfit. It was the closest he'd ever seen her to wearing a skirt or dress, and it was rather more enticing than he thought it would be. She must have…

"A lovely choice of outfit, Lady Rey," Hux complimented the young woman, standing up to greet her. "Is it new?"

Rey glanced down at her ensemble and shrugged, smiling softly, happily. "I just bought it today," she confirmed. "Thank you."

Kylo was finally able to find words. "I've always admired that style of robe, though I must admit men cannot pull it off as easily as women can."

Hux and Rey blinked at him.

"Was that… a joke?" Hux asked incredulously.

Rey smiled up at him. He'd never been so enraptured by a simple _smile_ before. All he could do was stare at her.

What was _wrong_ with him?

"General… Hux," she said softly, as if teasingly offering him a reprimand. "I believe it was, but there's no need to call attention to it. If we do, he'll never do it again!" She winked at Hux.

Hux blinked, stunned.

 _Oh kriff_. Did she have any idea the power she held over him and Hux? Was she doing it on purpose? Force help them if she were… or Force help them if she _wasn't_.

"What are you doing here at this time of night, Rey?" Kylo asked abruptly.

Rey rolled her eyes at the General as if to say 'see, I told you so,' before replying to her Master. "I just finished at the commissary, and decided to walk this way in case one or both of you were here," she said quietly.

Kylo and Hux both glanced down at her hands, noticing that she was holding two small, velvet bags.

Rey glanced at the other two trainees in the Lounge, and then back at him and Hux, before continuing. "Would you walk me to my rooms? I can tell you what I bought on the way."

Hux immediately placed his glass on one of the tables and then did up the top two buttons of his uniform's jacket. Kylo had placed his glass down long ago, but he grabbed his mask from where it lay beside his arm chair. He did not don it, but instead held it beneath his arm. The halls would be reasonably clear at this time of night, and it had been a long time since he had insisted on wearing the thing every single moment of the day. It had been a long time since he had been insecure about his identity and appearance.

As they stepped together into the hall, Hux offered Rey his arm. She stared at it for a moment, as if she wasn't sure what he was asking by the gesture, and Kylo watched bemusedly as the realization slowly dawned on her.

"Oh. Thanks, but no. I appreciate the offer though, Hux," she turned down Hux's proffered courtesy with a gentle smile, directed just at the other man. Kylo was struck by her beauty, and by Hux's answering smile. He'd never seen the other man look as relaxed as he appeared around Rey.

Hux took no offense at the refusal of his arm, ever the gentleman. Instead, he touched her elbow briefly, lightly, and then gestured for her to walk with him before dropping his hand back to his side.

Kylo, not having quite disconnected himself from the other man's emotions, was briefly consumed with a flare of _contentment_ coming from Hux.

Hux looked over his shoulder at Kylo, and he was caught off guard by the brief flash of _want_ that came through his emotions and through his eyes, before quickly being covered again. "Come, walk with us, Kylo," he half-suggested, half-ordered.

Kylo and Hux bracketed Rey as they walked the rest of the way to her rooms in comfortable silence.

It wasn't until they had stopped in front of her rooms that Rey realized she hadn't explained what was in her bags. There was no one else in the hall with them as she pulled opened first one bag's drawstring, then the other's, showing the two men the three delicate crystal brandy glasses and large bottle of the brandy that they were always drinking in the Lounge.

He and Hux both glanced back up at Rey at the same time.

"It's a little late, otherwise I'd invite you in to share some with me… but maybe tomorrow night we could do that?" she murmured shyly, as if she were afraid they would laugh at her purchase and at her request for their companionship.

Because that's what it was. Rey had bought brandy and glasses for them all to _share_ , together, as one of her first purchases with her newfound salary.

Kylo was unbelievably touched at the gesture and thought that had gone into the purchase. There were so many other things she could have bought with her money, but she had bought something for all of them. It meant…

He and Hux looked at one another, meeting each other's eyes. Kylo couldn't help but to brush against Hux's mind once more. He just needed to _know_ …

Hux was as stunned as he was, and was also flooded with an entirely new, _tender_ emotion…

Crouching down, Rey set her purchases on the floor and then quickly reached up to place a hand on one each of their cheeks, guiding them both back to look at her. "Would that be okay?" she rephrased her question.

Hux responded, finally. "Absolutely, Rey. But…"

Kylo finished for the normally verbose man, "Why would you buy that as one of your first purchases?"

Rey rubbed her thumbs across their skin, glancing up and down the hall again as she did so. Kylo's eyes followed hers – it was empty. "I… you're important to me. Both of you. I want to spend time with you. I would have figured you'd know that by now."

She stepped forward, slowly enough that both men could have pulled back if they so wished. Neither did. They were frozen in place as she dropped her arms and wrapped them around their waists, folding herself against and between their bodies as she pulled them in towards her.

Kylo's heart stuttered and his eyes widened. He nearly dropped his mask, barely keeping a proper hold of it as he focused his entire being on the sensation of the woman in his arms… and the man on the other side of her, arm brushing his as they both wrapped their free arms around Rey's back.

He felt nearly overwhelmed – the closest to scared that he remembered feeling in recent memory – at the sensation of Rey in his arms, and the knowledge that Hux was pressed against her other side. But he also felt _exhilarated_. His deepest desires were within reach, he felt, even if they were no longer very private anymore, after sharing them with Hux the other morning.

Rey spoke up from between them. Her voice was muffled, but there was no mistaking her words. "I'm so glad to have met you both; I couldn't imagine if I lost either of you."

Before they could reply, Rey pulled back, grabbed her purchases from the floor, and, with a swirl of her flowing outfit, disappeared into her rooms.

Tracking her movements with his sight until the door was blocking his view, and continuing to track her movements inside of her room with the Force afterwards, Kylo was startled from his thoughts when he felt a hand on his clothed arm.

Looking up, his eyes met those of Hux, who had moved a step closer to him – propriety be damned, it seemed. He was in Kylo's personal space in the same manner as _he_ would normally be in Hux's personal space. And his eyes were filled with a series of emotions that Kylo did not _dare_ to name. It wasn't something he was ready for, as much as he thought he'd been.

 _He_ was the one who was supposed to stalk his prey.

 _He_ was the one who was supposed to put _Hux_ on edge.

This… this was not something he could handle right now; this reversal of roles.

Not so soon after Rey had completely wrecked him with her admission.

He… needed time to digest everything she had said; everything she had confessed to feeling. There was much more there, under the surface of her words.

Kylo Ren spun on his heel. Before he knew it he was slamming his hand against his door's locking mechanism, opening the room to him.

He didn't turn on the lights. Instead, he chose to pace in darkness.

* * *

 **Note: I'd like to extend special thanks to my beta Annaelle for helping me push through this chapter when I first wrote it. And for being, in general, a great and supportive friend. Even now, over a year later. I love you, darlin'.**

 **Also, special mention goes to Alania, who has written an amazing Reylux canon-compliant fic called Breaking Point. She was a goddess and a sweetheart when I was writing this at the time, and helped me through my funk as well, even when, if I were the one in her position, I would have slapped me around for my insecurities.**

 **PLEASE READ HER FIC. IT IS SO GOOD and she deserves all the love. Her Hux is brilliant, especially.**

 **I miss you, lady. A lot.**


	14. Covet

**Note:** **Oooooo la LA! We're finally getting somewhere. ^_^**

* * *

Kylo had woken on his couch, still fully dressed, to the sound of his alarm blaring in his bedroom. He had barely gotten two hours of sleep last night, and he was in no mood to be woken. He'd toyed with the idea of crushing the infernal device with the Force, but then decided it really wasn't worth the trouble of replacing, even if all he'd have to do was call a technician and order a new one. It might be worth it, however, just to see the look on Hux's face when he read the repair bill.

No, he really wasn't in the mood to mess with anything today. It had taken him longer than usual to dress and fetch Rey for training, as he kept thinking about the way his apprentice's body had felt against his, with Hux pushed against her other side.

He didn't think he'd ever taken so long of a shower in his life.

The best part of it was that _she_ had initiated the contact. _She_ had pulled them into the embrace. _She_ had told them that they meant a lot to her, and that she couldn't bear the thought of losing them.

Hearing the words spoken out loud had thrilled him, and made him realize for the first time that what he was feeling went far deeper than simple attraction for both her and the other man. _He_ didn't want to lose either of them, either.

Suddenly a blaster bolt sizzled by his cheek. It didn't burn, but he could feel the heat of it as it rushed by.

General Hux made a tsk-tsk sound. "Now, Kylo, what sort of example does that set for your Apprentice, getting all distracted like that?"

Kylo glowered at the General where he sat in a chair against the edge of the private training room, one leg crossed over the other, and his pistol dangling from his fingertips. The only thing holding him back from yelling at Hux was that the man had stellar aim – he would have calculated the risk of his shot before taking it – and the fact that he, himself, had asked the ex-sniper to take shots at him as part of the morning's training session.

At the moment, however, he wished he hadn't. He would much rather be lost in his own thoughts, trying to figure out how he felt – something he'd hardly ever had to _do_ – than be stuck in a room with the two people he was trying desperately to figure out how to react to. Rey was watching from a couple of steps away, her sharp gaze perceptive, as if she knew what had been going through his mind to distract him.

He'd been doing his best to ignore what had happened the night before, and so far it had been working. Except now it wasn't.

Kylo growled at Hux. The bastard hadn't let on one bit what was on his mind since Rey had hugged them both last night, and Kylo refused to look when he didn't have to. But the icy composure was grating on Kylo's nerves, fraying their already strained state. He was sure he was being quite the awful companion – let alone teacher – at the moment, and so he made a conscious effort to calm himself, drawing a deep breath before finally commanding, "Again."

Hux raised an eyebrow, and then pointedly looked at Rey, still dangling his pistol from his fingertips. Kylo struggled with the urge to growl at the man again. Sure, they may have been agreeing to commit _treason_ together just last night, but that didn't mean he didn't feel the urge to throttle the insufferable man right that very moment.

Rey smiled at Hux – a soft, happy smile – and that alone seemed to calm Kylo down where nothing else had been working before. Her happiness, and Hux's returned smile, assuaged the doubt and fear that was roiling through his mind. If they could be this settled, this calm, after last night, then perhaps he was overreacting, and needed to reassess the situation. Seeing them, like this, gave him hope that there really _was_ something going on between all of them – and that he was not, in fact, going mental.

Rey darted a glance at him, and smiled again – this time just for him.

Yes, perhaps there _was_ hope.

Perhaps he wasn't imaging it all.

Rey turned back to Hux. "Please continue. I think he'll pay more attention this time. Or maybe just fire more at me. I need the practice, anyway!"

Activating her saber again, she let the blue glow wash over her features as she turned to face Kylo once more. They were attempting to discuss certain Force techniques while Hux tried to surprise them with blaster fire at random intervals. They were supposed to deflect the bolts – or at least, Rey was learning to do as much. And quite well, in fact.

Rey rested one gloved hand briefly on the wrist that was holding Kylo's own saber before pulling it back and making sure she was ready. He could sense her preparedness through the Force, casting out a net of perception like he had been teaching her, even as she prodded him verbally. "Come on, Master. Are you ready?" she teased him lightly. She was so much more comfortable with him – and with Hux – than he'd _ever_ imagined she would be.

He shook his head to clear his mind. He was acting like a moonstruck boy, barely past puberty, and yet he couldn't seem to help himself.

He activated his saber with a _whoosh_ , letting the sharp crackles soothe his mind. Suddenly, Rey pivoted and brought her saber up in a two-handed upper parry, diverting a blaster bolt towards a row of targets to her right. The bolt sizzled inches wide of the target, but that didn't stop Rey from beaming at Hux. "I did it!"

"You did," the General agreed, returning her smile with a twitch of his lips. "Well done indeed."

Rey blinked at him for a moment. "Well. Now I can't tell if you're being sarcastic with me, or serious."

Hux simply smirked at her before returning his gaze to the datapad that was propped on his knee.

Kylo laughed, finally feeling the last of his tension draining away from him as he watched his… as he watched _Rey_ try not to pout. Whatever they faced in the future, at least it seemed like they would all be going into it together. Hux wouldn't address Rey like that if he weren't feeling _content_ today – for that matter, Hux never addressed _anyone_ in such a teasing manner. And the reason he was so content _must_ have to do with that glorious embrace they'd all experienced.

Rey had wrapped a spell around them, it seemed, and she wasn't even aware of it.

His laughter trailed off as he spoke up. "He's being serious. It was well done. It is a hard skill to learn, and even harder still to aim the deflections with any accuracy. It –" He broke off and deflected a blast aimed near his knee. One of the targets on his side burst into pieces. "It requires practice. But you're getting there."

Rey's eyes gleamed as she followed his saber's path back to the ready position that he favored: gripped with two hands in front of him, pointed at the floor. She had that look on her face that heralded her asking thought-provoking questions.

He loved that look.

Before she could open her mouth, she stepped out, opening herself up and into a perfect lunge and extending her saber to deflect another bolt away. She was wearing her cowl again, though it was pushed back from her face, and the way the fabric twirled around her shoulders and over her basic tunic and leggings was entirely too enticing. It just served to highlight her lithe form.

He barely noticed the edge of the target shear off – he was too busy deflecting his own blast.

Hux didn't even look up from his datapad.

The bastard.

Rey turned back to him and picked up right where she'd left off. "So. Your lightsaber. I never asked you, but why does it spark like that?"

Kylo noticed Hux holster his pistol out of the corner of his eye and he glanced at the man, lifting one eyebrow in question.

The redhead shrugged, uncrossing his legs only long enough to switch legs and turning off his datapad. "What? I'm curious, too. You've never answered me before and I have a feeling you won't deny our… won't deny Rey. So I'm interested in hearing the answer."

Rey's eyes twitched, as if she wished to look at the General, widening slightly even as she kept them trained on Kylo. Obviously she'd noticed the other man's near slip of the tongue, as well. _He'd_ certainly noticed it. Hux had been about to call the young woman 'our Rey' – he just _knew_ it. He'd done that last night as well and it had been nearly enough to set him off. He almost couldn't control himself now, either, but it was a lot easier to hear this time. Rather than drumming up his lust, the thought was _soothing_ him…

Kylo sighed, finally. Hux was right. He needed to discuss lightsabers with Rey at some point, anyway, and now was as good a time as any. He wished the other man weren't there, but… that was more out of habit than any truly valid reason for not wanting Hux to hear his words on the topic.

Looking down at his saber, crackling red between him and Rey, he started to speak. "I made this when I was fifteen. I scavenged parts from items I found on First Order ships at the time, and made it hurriedly. I needed it quickly and there wasn't time to find the proper saber-crafting parts already made, nor to properly make the components myself. I allowed the Force to guide me in choosing the style of the weapon and the crystal itself, from the small store that the Knights of Ren had hidden within their treasury at the time. It called to me. When I came back to myself, I had this saber in my hands. An ancient design, albeit in a cobbled-together hilt, and a cracked crystal. Said crystal was unstable, but powerful. It took me a long time to master, but was well worth it."

Rey looked intrigued, and beneath Hux's bored mask he could tell that he was just as interested.

"So… why didn't you make another lightsaber once you had the time to get the proper parts together?" Rey asked, taking a step forward and lifting her hand as if she were about to touch the hilt beneath his fingers.

Kylo kept it powered on – he sensed she wished to analyze it further – but held the saber's hilt between them, horizontally, as if offering it to her. Instead of taking it from him, however, she placed her hand over top of his, pressing down and closing her eyes as she felt the thrum of the weapon. "It's so… volatile," she whispered.

Kylo couldn't take his eyes off of her as she reached out with the Force to feel his saber's power beneath her hand.

 _Stars_ , she was so beautiful. So powerful.

Kylo felt a twist of lust coming from the General and his eyes darted towards the other man. He was staring openly at the sight before them, of the two Force users pressed nearly chest to chest – Kylo hadn't realized how close he and Rey had gotten until Hux projected it for him to see – with a crackling weapon of destruction trapped between them.

' _You like what you see?'_ Kylo couldn't help but ask.

Hux looked up lazily, meeting Kylo's eyes and holding them. He nodded once, curtly, and then proceeded to drag his eyes up his and Rey's bodies from the bottom up. He made sure to keep the image securely in his mind, and broadcast the feelings of lust and desire and _affection_ towards the Knight.

Suddenly, an image of Kylo pressed against Hux in the 'fresher pressed into Kylo's mind and his eyes widened. His breath came out in a gasp and he pulled himself out of Hux's mind swiftly before he became so hard that Rey would notice.

 _Fuck_. Hux was certainly learning what he could and could not do within his limitations.

He wasn't sure if that was a good thing yet or not.

"Master?" Rey inquired, her other hand coming up to grip the hilt as well. "What's the matter?"

Kylo vowed then and there that she would no longer call him Master – not in private, at least, and not with these absolutely _sinful_ and _thrilling_ thoughts that were filling his mind.

Not unless she wanted to, of course. Now _there_ was a thought. He wasn't sure if he'd like that, but he was always willing to try… He closed his eyes briefly, willing his erection to recede _._

He opened his eyes again, and caught Hux smirking in an entirely _too_ self-satisfied way.

Looking down at Rey once more, he decided to answer her original question rather than to even give her last one the time of day. He couldn't tell her what had popped into his mind just then – she might be exhibiting signs of attraction for them… but _that_ was too much, too soon.

"The volatility is part of why I never rebuilt it, or built a new one, at that," he replied evenly, making sure his features were schooled and his voice steady. "I want to control it, not let it control me. To give in to it – to admit defeat to it – would be a weakness. And it is too powerful of a weapon to let go. The crystal cracked because it was too large. Yes, it caused the volatility, which could be dangerous – but it also allows me to fight with a weight that I far prefer to some of the… you could call them _slimmer…_ blades like yours. They are too light for me."

"So really, it's an exercise in stubbornness," Hux stated blandly.

Kylo glared at him over Rey's head. "Yes, in a way, I guess it is."

"I think it's _fascinating_ ," Rey breathed, looking up and into his face. Her eyes were filled with admiration and interest at the topic, her passion for the subject shining through.

Kylo had never wanted to kiss anyone so badly in his life.

As he continued to stare at her, Rey's intellectual passion morphed into another, completely different, type of passion. She wet her lips, her small tongue darting out quickly to run along them. Kylo's eyes followed its quick progress, and trained on her glistening lips afterwards. The red glow of his saber was still between them, and it cast her features in a beautiful play of light and shadow, flickering every so often as the saber sparked.

He saw the moment that it dawned on her that he wanted to kiss her, and she widened her eyes at him, pushing the feel of acceptance towards him, across the Force…

The Force _screamed_ at him, and he reacted completely out of instinct, allowing the Force to guide his next steps. He powered down his saber, clutching Rey to his chest with one arm as he twisted her around, protecting her body with his own. He raised his other arm, hand splayed, and _froze_ the blaster bolt that was inches in front of his face.

He glared at the General, who had stood up to take aim, and was currently adjusting his uniform and hair so that he looked nothing but meticulous.

Rey pushed at him, and he loosened his arm just enough that she could pull her face away from his chest and breathe properly. "What's going _o-ooh_ ," she trailed off as she looked over Kylo's shoulder and saw the bolt.

"It wouldn't have hit you," Hux announced in a bored tone. Kylo could tell he was hiding something, but didn't push. Kylo glared at Hux as he stepped back from Rey, smoothing his free hand down his robes even as he clipped his lightsaber back to his belt.

"You were… _distracted_." His face was completely controlled but Kylo could sense a hint of desperation to his voice. He smirked, even as Hux continued. "And so I figured that it would be an opportune moment to make sure you were paying attention. It wouldn't do for you to be so… _unaware_ of your surroundings, and I am glad to see that you weren't."

Kylo took a step towards Hux, pulling Rey along behind him after he reached back and gripped her wrist. They stepped around the blaster bolt and Kylo released it as soon as they were past it. It crashed into the wall behind them.

They came to a stop in front of Hux, Kylo still holding onto Rey's wrist. Before he could say anything, however, Rey burst out excitedly, "That was _amazing_!" She grinned happily between the two men, and slowly the tension eased between them.

Hux offered Rey, and then Kylo, a small, tender smile, pleased to see her so enthusiastic. Kylo found himself smiling easily in return.

Rey continued, placing her hand on top of Kylo's where it gripped her and pulling her arm against her chest. "I'd only heard rumors that you could do that – I've never actually seen you do that before. Poe told me – oh. I… I'm sorry." A look of utter despair came across her features before she hardened her eyes, squared her shoulders, and clutched Kylo's arm tighter against her before continuing in a much more subdued tone. "Well, I'd heard you could do it, and I really want to learn how. Or at least try. It's simply _stunning_."

Kylo wanted to feel anger at her bringing up the blasted _pilot's_ name, but he couldn't drum up the energy to do so. For one thing, she was here with _them_ now, and that's what mattered. For another, he didn't ever want to hear her sound so _sad_ again.

Leaving his one hand on her wrist, pulled against her chest, he brought his free hand up as he twisted his body to face hers, brushing his fingers along the curve of her chin. "Rey," he said gently. "I'll teach you. You know I will. But…" he searched for something to bring a smile to her eyes, and settled on something he'd been intending to do for a while now, anyway. "But please, call me Kylo in private." Rey flicked her gaze towards Hux, and Kylo chuckled as he twisted one of her stray hairs around his knuckle. "Yes, you can call me Kylo in front of Hux as well. I believe we're all sufficiently… _close_ to each other at this point, anyway."

Rey's eyes lit up and she leaned slightly into his touch. "I'd like that… _Kylo_ ," she stated. She pulled away and Kylo let his hands drop from her face and wrist. "I've got to get to weapons training, but… thank you. Both of you! It's been a good morning." She had a look of regret and wistfulness on her face as she spoke the words, wishing she didn't have to go, it seemed.

Hux nodded at Rey, and Rey nodded back before he spoke up. "Perhaps if you learn this trick you will continue to strike fear into the hearts of the trainees, Rey," he teased, though proudly so.

Rey laughed, the normally pure sound tinged with something far _darker_ than normal. "Yes, maybe so, Hux."

Hux met Kylo's eyes after Rey had left the training room. "Interesting," he murmured.

"I like it," Kylo replied, eyes darkening as he gazed at the other man from a few feet away. He made to take a step towards the smaller man, but was stopped short when the General lifted his hand and gave him a _look_.

"I can't do this right now." It was the closest the man had come to acknowledging that there was a 'this' between them at all. Kylo felt his blood rushing through his veins, but he held himself still.

"I have some meetings to get to, but we need to talk. About our conversation yesterday," Hux clarified.

Kylo felt a different sort of thrill take over him – a very forbidden, _dangerous_ thrill. Hux still wanted to continue their talk about Snoke.

He still wanted to follow through.

"We'll talk tomorrow evening. I will be busy going over reports from my Knights stationed throughout the rest of the fleet, and I believe you have Stormtrooper training assessments to conduct."

Hux nodded. "Until tomorrow evening, then."

As Hux passed him, he reached up and trailed his bare hand along Kylo's chin, catching the lower edge of Kylo's lip with a fingertip. He didn't even look at him as he did so; he simply made his way by, and his expression stoic.

Kylo barely kept himself from throwing the other man to the floor and pressing his long body against Hux's. The only thing that stopped him was…

Well _fuck_. He didn't know what had stopped him.

And now it was too late. The General had already left the room.

* * *

Rey shoved aside her half-eaten tray of food, leaving it on her table for the service droids to pick up overnight. She wasn't feeling well – she was feeling nauseous and tired, but it wasn't quite that time of the month so she wasn't sure what was going on – and the food really did not hold any appeal to her at the moment.

She wished she were brave enough to ask if she could dine in the evenings with Hux and… Kylo.

She smiled at the mental feel of his first name. Perhaps maybe now she could ask them. They _were_ on a first name basis – well, as close to it as she was sure she'd get with Hux, in any case.

Though maybe not…

Rey was sure that he must feel something for her; something beyond mere interest and friendship. She wasn't stupid. She'd seen the way he looked at her. She'd seen the way they _both_ looked at her. And hugged her. And… and almost _kissed_ her.

She shivered and then suddenly shoved herself away from the table.

It was too early to sleep, but too late to really do anything else besides take a walk. Perhaps it would clear her mind, even. She'd taken a few walks in the evenings since arriving on the _Finalizer_ , and they had always helped in the past. They wouldn't help solve _anything_ – not really – but Rey knew that nothing could be solved about her situation.

She was attracted to both men.

Well… it would just have to solve itself.

Rey carefully blanked her mind, breathing deeply and meditating as she walked the corridors. She was dressed in a new set of clothes she had purchased at the commissary the other evening and had delivered to her quarters – a pair of black slacks and a black shirt with a long red jacket over top – and her lightsaber was at her hip. All in all, she felt quite _comfortable_ , even with the nausea tugging at her stomach. At least the meditation was helping with that.

Rey glanced inside of an observation deck she occasionally stopped at on her walks. She did a double-take and stopped herself from moving on, instead stepping inside of the open door.

General Hux was inside with the lights off, sitting in a chair that was illuminated by the lights coming through the long interior window. He looked almost… _sad_.

"Hux?" she queried softly.

The man's head shot up and he looked angry for a moment before he realized who it was. His body and expression relaxed until he was smiling at her. He stood up and gestured for her to take a seat on the couch beside him – which she did – before resuming his seat.

"Rey. What can I do for you?" he asked, setting his datapad aside.

"I don't mean to interrupt," she began. "I was just out for a walk and saw you in here. I figured I'd say hi, but if you're busy…"

He waved her worry off. "No, no. Quite the contrary. I just finished up with the initial reports for my Stormtrooper assessments." He tilted his head at the window in indication. "That's what I've been up to almost all afternoon and evening. It finished about an hour ago, and I've just been enjoying some peace and quiet."

Rey placed her bare hand on top of Hux's equally bare one, where it rested on the couch between them. Hux flinched and looked at her, startled, but he didn't pull his hand away.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly, expressing concern. "You looked sort of sad – like you had just lost someone dear to you."

Hux's expression tightened and Rey was suddenly worried that she had overstepped a boundary with the man; that perhaps she had misunderstood what was growing between them. But he relaxed again and asked, "Can you close and lock the door from here or should I go get it?"

Rey furrowed her brow and replied simply by shutting the door with the Force. She locked it, though he couldn't see as much. "I locked it, but if you want to check…?"

"No, that's alright." Hux sighed as he sunk back into the couch's cushions, running his free hand through his hair.

Rey squeezed his hand. "Hux, what's going on?"

"I did lose someone," Hux said. He closed his eyes, tilting his head back until it rested on the back of the couch.

"I'm sorry…" Rey replied truthfully. She squeezed his fingers again. She was amazed he hadn't taken them back yet, but she wasn't going to complain. Feeling his cool, dry hand beneath hers was like that first sip of water after a long day without in the hot sun.

"No, it's alright. It happened long ago, actually. But… I just recently found out that they were murdered. And that I had been living under the false pretense that this person, who I interact with regularly, had nothing to do with Leif's – that was his name – death."

Rey was horrified, and brought her other hand up to cover her gaping mouth. "Oh… oh my… Hux, I'm so sorry. That's _awful_."

Hux turned his hand over under her hand and threaded his fingers through hers. Rey thrilled at the act, even under such a terrible pall. "It's okay, Rey. I mean, it's not, but there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing even I can really do about it – not yet, at least…"

"But you're working on it?" Rey asked hopefully.

"Yes. In fact… Kylo is helping."

"That's good. I'm… well, I'm as glad as I can be in a situation like this."

"Me too," Hux replied. They both settled into a comfortable, though heavy, silence.

Hux was slowly sweeping his thumb over her knuckles and Rey had never felt so… so… _content_. She felt warm and happy and relaxed, and it was all because of this man right beside her.

Rey opened her eyes and saw that Hux's head had tilted towards the shoulder closest to her. His face was angled towards hers, his eyes closed, and his thin lips parted in a way that made them look…

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Her own eyes were closed but she could still sense his snapping open. He gasped against her mouth, but didn't move away, and his hand clenched hers tightly.

Rey had nearly convinced herself that this had been a bad idea when Hux brought his other hand up to twine in the hair at the base of her neck, and pressed his lips more firmly against hers. His lips moved slowly over hers, taking control and showing her exactly what he liked – and showing Rey what _she_ liked, as well. She'd been kissed a handful of times in her life, some involving more action than this one… but _this one_ affected her like nothing else she'd ever experienced before.

Her entire body felt warm and flushed, happy and satisfied – even though she wanted _more, more, more_ , she was entirely willing to stay at this pace _forever_ if he would just keep his lips on hers.

Rey brought her hand up to touch the skin above his jacket collar and Hux groaned deep in his throat.

Startled, she pulled back, her eyes snapping open finally to take in a flushed and heavy-lidded Hux gazing at her. "I'm so sorry –" she began, mortified that she had been so brazen.

"I'm not," Hux said quickly, huskily.

Rey moved her hand from his collar to his lips, running her thumb across the lower one. It was puffed up, swollen from their kiss, and she couldn't help but feel a thrill of possession and passion flow through her. She had kissed the _General_ – and he had _liked it_.

The arousal pooling in her stomach made her nausea flare back with a vengeance, worse than before. It brought tears to her eyes, and Hux stared at her as his expression quickly morphed from desire to concern.

"Rey? What's wrong? I… we can forget about it, if you need. If it's Kylo, we can –"

Rey cut him off. "No, no it's not that, though that's another… no. I don't want to forget about it. I'm just not feeling well. I wasn't doing well before dinner and now, with all of that…" she huffed out a vaguely sardonic laugh. "With all that, my stomach is twisting worse than before. I think I'm going to go visit the medbay."

Hux's expression softened, losing some of the sharp-edged worry from moments before, though he was still concerned. "Would you like me to take you there?" he asked, lifting their linked hands to press a kiss on the inside of her wrist.

Rey's stomach fluttered again, part from arousal, and part from nausea. She clenched her jaw, and swallowed. "No… I'll be okay. I need to clear my head. I… this is a lot to take in."

Hux nodded, giving her fingers one last caress before he released them. He stood as Rey stood, trying desperately to school his emotions and features, and failing rather spectacularly. Rey noticed, and darted forward to give him a quick hug before running to the door.

"Thanks… for _everything_ ," Rey called over her shoulder before unlocking the door and practically fleeing to the medbay – and away from Hux.

She couldn't believe what she'd done. Yes… he'd _liked_ it. And she had as well… but how could she ever face him again after that?

How could she face _Kylo_?

* * *

 **Note:** **Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read and then takes extra time to leave me comments.**

 **Also... this story officially hit way over 500 kudos at this point when I originally posted it! I'm so pleased that people seemed to love this fic enough for that, and I am still in awe, even after being hacked, from seeing this note in my copied document for this story. It just makes me so happy. I'll always treasure it, just as much as I treasure these new (and old) kudos and comments. It's like getting new gifts! New insights into my story! And also... it's like I'm getting to read it as a reader, not a writer, as I post everything again. I like to look at it this way instead of thinking of what was taken from me.**

 **Thank you for being such wonderful people, old readers and new alike!**

 **Thank you for supporting me and welcoming me back, and leaving kudos and comments even though you did before. It's amazing how kind this fandom/ship can be. (At least within our ships... between them? HAH! ) (But no, that's mostly untrue. ily other shippers.)**

 **But no. Much love. xoxo Seriously.**


	15. Unraveling

Kylo frowned at the door in front of him. He was at Rey's quarters, it was five minutes past their appointed meeting time, and yet she was still inside. It wasn't like her to be late, so Kylo reached out and brushed his mind against hers.

What greeted him was a riot of emotions – fear and worry warred with something akin to love and happiness – before he felt a flash of annoyance and he was blocked completely from Rey's mind.

He smirked to himself. She was indeed coming along a lot better than he had anticipated, but he also shouldn't be surprised – she was very powerful in the Force and a quick learner.

' _Come in, please,'_ floated into his mind. Case in point: she hadn't been able to do _that_ the other day.

Yet as soon as he walked in the door, depositing his helmet on the way to her bedroom, Kylo noticed something was wrong. There was an air of… illness to the room, not unlike what you would smell or feel or sense in a medbay or hospital.

"Rey?" he called out, picking up his pace. He was worried. This was completely unlike Rey, and the _feel_ in the room was completely _wrong_. He pulled his gloves off and threw them down on the ground as he rounded the corner of her bedroom's door frame. He was shocked by the sight that greeted him.

Rey was curled against the far wall on her bed, knees drawn up to her chest, her face barely peeking over the covers. Her face was pale and sweat had plastered her loosened hair and bangs to her face. Kylo was shocked, and he knew he was letting it show on his face by the way Rey was smiling softly at him. "I'm okay, Kylo – or at least I will be from what the doctor told me –"

"Why aren't you in the medbay right now?" Kylo interrupted harshly, feeling rage well up in him at the doctor's _daring_ to practice incompetent medicine on his Apprentice – on his _Rey_.

"I asked to come back here," Rey glared at him as she struggled to sit up. Her arms seemed too weak to support her and Kylo was at her side in an instant, pulling her up.

It wasn't until after she'd settled against his chest that he realized he had pulled her into his arms where he rested against her headboard… _in her bed._

Shoving that aside, he focused instead on Rey. "What happened?" he demanded.

Rey tilted her head back to look at Kylo. Her body was trembling slightly as she responded. "I'm not sure. I wasn't feeling well yesterday after weapons training and it just got worse all day. I didn't eat much at supper, or at lunch, and then I went for a walk and after –" She cut herself off abruptly, going still and averting her eyes.

Kylo resisted the urge to pry, though he knew she was hiding something. He was too concerned about her to risk angering her. Instead, he pulled her side more firmly against his with the arm he'd wrapped around her body, and reached up to feel her forehead with the back of his other hand. She was burning up.

After a moment, she continued, relaxing further against his body. "Well, I went to the medbay late last night after my nausea became unbearable. They drew some blood and told me that they'd get the results in a few days, gave me some shots, and then gave me this." She lifted the arm that wasn't caught against Kylo's side and he finally noticed the cuff that was wrapped around her bare upper arm. "It's got enough medicine in it to last me today and tomorrow before I'm due back in. They're also sending me meals straight from the kitchen with a nurse three times a day so that they can check up on me – it was the only thing that would convince them to let me come back to my room."

She huffed a little at the last bit and Kylo couldn't help that his lips twitched slightly upwards in response to her tone. She hated medbays just as much as he and Hux did, it seemed.

"You're going to be alright?" Kylo asked quietly, turning his hand over from where it still rested on her forehead, and moving his fingers lightly over her face.

Rey's eyes fluttered shut and she leaned into his hand as he cupped her cheek. She spoke without opening her eyes, her breath swirling against the skin underneath his chin, just above his high collar. "Yeah. They said I came in on time. They're still not sure what's going on, but hopefully they'll know more soon. I'm feeling better now, though."

"Good," Kylo breathed out against Rey's hair as he leaned down and pressed his nose into the tangled mess. She shivered beneath him and he pulled back, tilting her head back so that she could look him in the eyes. "Like you said the other night… I don't know what I'd do if something were to happen to you."

Rey laughed nervously as if she thought he was joking, averting her eyes from his. "Ha, ha. You're quite the joker, Master Ren."

Kylo stopped himself from replying angrily. Surely she must see that he was earnest? That he was wearing his heart on his sleeve? That he was taking a chance by coming as close as he dared to a declaration of… _affection_? The only thing that kept him from storming from the room in a fit was the faint feeling of hopeful desperation tinged with disbelief that was rolling off of Rey through the Force.

He looked down into Rey's face, though her eyes were still averted. He had wanted to kiss her so _badly_ yesterday and he just _knew_ that she had as well before they had been interrupted so rudely by Hux. He felt the same desire now, though it was tempered with her shaking from illness in his arms, and her doubt of his caring for her. It was a different sort of desire he was feeling.

Rather than the desire to _consume_ , he felt the desire to _prove_ to Rey just what she meant to him.

Pulling Rey further up his chest with his arm, he tilted her face towards his and placed the gentlest of kisses he had _ever_ managed to bestow upon her lips – he was sure he'd never kissed _anyone_ so gently before.

But he needed to.

He needed to tread carefully with Rey, lest he scare her off. He _knew_ that he could be intense in his passion – in his _love_ – but all of his previous partners had been so easy to comprehend. Their reactions and feelings had been predictable, in their own ways, but Rey… Rey was an enigma at times. Even if sometimes he felt close to understanding her, she would do something to completely change his perspective of her. Part startled, wild animal… and part fierce predator chasing what she wanted.

She was fascinating.

And he _loved_ it.

Kylo moved his lips gently over her soft ones, feeling the flush of her fever hot against his mouth but not caring one whit if he contracted what she might have. _This_ was far more important, showing her what she meant to him. Expressing it through action what she had a hard time believing through words.

Feeling her quivering against him in a way that was entirely unlike how she was shaking earlier, Kylo pulled her up and over him so that she was straddling his lap and he could better brace her upright, flush against his chest.

And _oh yes_ she was responding. It had taken her a few moments of stunned stillness before she had brought her hand up to touch his hair, and currently she was moving her lips slowly against his and making the most _delightful_ sounds. Low, breathy gasps as she pulled her lips back just long enough to draw in air; tiny hums as Kylo brushed his hands across her back and down her sides; barely-there whimpers as she darted out her tongue to meet his before drawing it back again... and a loud _gasp_ as she collapsed against him, her body too weak to hold herself up any longer, and felt his hard length press tight against her core.

There was plenty of material between them, even with Rey only wearing thin sleep shorts and a shirt, but there was no way that she could mistake what _that_ was.

Kylo wanted to grind himself against her over and over, divest her and him of their clothes, make love to her here and now and _damn_ the consequences, and –

Moving quicker than he'd moved in a _long_ time, Kylo picked her up off of him, set her back in bed, and was halfway across the room, staring at the wall and willing himself into calmness. He could hear Rey panting behind him, struggling to control herself just as he was doing.

"I'm sorry – I shouldn't have – you're not feeling well – _kriff_ , Rey, I've wanted to do that for a long time." Oh _Force_ , he sounded desperate even to his own ears.

He had loved _every_ moment of that, but he was appalled at his lack of control. If he had hurt her… He clenched his hands at the thought.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked, looking back over his shoulder at the young woman. She was clutching her red sheets to her chest – in an act of protection or of embarrassment, he wasn't sure. Maybe he didn't want to know.

"No," she replied, still slightly out of breath. "No, Kylo. You didn't. I… quite enjoyed it, in fact."

Kylo turned around more fully at her admission, smiling as he noticed her cheeks flaring bright pink – and it was from more than just her fever.

He strode back to where she was sitting up in her bed, and sat down beside her before reaching towards her.

She pulled back, and Kylo had to struggle to push down a flare of anger. "What's wrong? I thought you liked it?" he asked gruffly.

"I do…" Rey whispered, averting her eyes. "I just… you…"

"What?" he asked again, feeling his temper flaring up.

"I… I had wanted to discuss something with you before I ever kissed you," she murmured, staring down at her hands where they were twisting and pulling at each other on her lap.

Kylo's temper died down, only to be immediately replaced by satisfaction that she had been _intending_ to kiss him – that she had obviously been thinking about it. But whatever was on her mind must be huge… He needed to know. Screw her being ill; they needed to talk _now_ so that he could get his lips on her own delectable ones once again.

"Well I'm here, and you won't be training again until the doctors clear you, so let's talk now."

She looked like she was about to protest, but bit her lip instead and thought better of it. She gave him a curt nod, and agreed. "Okay."

Reaching forward, she took one of his hands and pulled it into her lap, cradling it against the sheet and between her two hands. Even through the cloth of the sheet he was entirely too aware of the heat emanating off of Rey's thighs.

He was so distracted by the feeling of her running her fingers over his hand, and from her eyes boring straight into his, that he nearly missed the question she posed to him.

"Why did you kill your – why did you kill Han Solo?" she asked in a strong, assertive voice.

Kylo's first reaction was to pull his hand out from between hers, and he did just that, though he barely stopped himself from following his instincts even further and fleeing the room – or worse yet, from laying waste to the room.

The only thing that stopped him from doing either of those was the even, non-judgmental look she was giving him. She looked as if she were trying to _understand_ him, which was something that he had seldom been on the receiving end of throughout his life.

As if sensing his inner turmoil, Rey spoke again, "I need to – I _want_ to – understand. It's important to me to… like with Hux and the Hosnian system…" She trailed off as her breath hitched, and Kylo tilted his head at that, narrowing his eyes. She continued timidly, "I want to understand. Han was… I'd known about him for years before I met him. And although I admit that some of my expectations of him were proven entirely unrealistic, he was someone I looked up to. Then I finally met him and he was one of the only people who treated me with anything approaching… _value_."

His own breath hitched at that, and he was torn between jealousy of Han Solo's treatment of this girl he'd barely known, and sadness and anger that _he_ had been the one to take that sense of belonging away from Rey – a sense of belonging that he himself had always sought, and seldom found.

Kylo had not spoken of the act of killing his father with anyone, and had never imagined that he would do so with the little scavenger girl who had bested him that same day in such spectacular fashion – he hadn't even imagined doing so since her joining the Knights of Ren. He had forced that event into the deep, dark recesses of his mind, and had hoped to never again think on it again.

But he understood why Rey would want to discuss it. Why she might want to fully come to terms with it before committing to _anything_ further with Kylo. Why she wanted to learn Hux's motivations for the Hosnian system before doing anything with _him_ , either.

Kylo shook that thought away, closing his eyes briefly. There was no time to follow _that_ train of thought at the moment.

Rey deserved his full attention. She deserved an answer.

"I… don't know how to put it into words," Kylo finally replied, drawing every word out as he did so.

"Try," Rey cut in, her eyes going slightly flinty.

Kylo blinked at her, mildly impressed by her audacity. He continued, just as slowly. "But I can _show_ you, in a way, if you'll let me."

Rey didn't even need to ponder the suggestion; she started to nod immediately. "Yes, please."

Kylo placed his hands on her shoulders and drew her towards him so that she was sitting in front of him with her knees pressed against his. He could have simply taken her hand for this, but this… _this_ was what he chose to do. He wanted to be as close to her as possible, especially if this was the last time he would get a chance to do so.

She could choose, after this, to sever her ties with him as much as possible, reverting back to a strict Master-Apprentice relationship.

He wasn't sure how he'd handle that, if it happened.

Rey's lips parted as Kylo slowly leaned his head down, but he simply pressed his cool, dry forehead against her sweat-drenched one.

He opened himself up to her in a way he had done with no one else – in a way he only knew how to do in theory. It was a one-way connection that would allow Rey to feel everything he was feeling, and even to hear some thoughts of his if he focused on projecting them enough.

He concentrated on his feelings about killing his father, and pushed them towards her. He _wanted_ her to understand him, almost as badly as _she_ seemed to want to understand him.

Anger. Pain. Sadness. Relief. Confidence. Power. Loathing. Satisfaction. Pride… all this and more swirled conflicted within him as soon as he unleashed it from deep inside. Yet… Kylo allowed himself to share something he had only shared once with himself before locking it away, never to be thought of ever again.

Regret.

As soon as his lightsaber had pierced his father's chest, he had regretted the action immediately. He had thought that obeying Snoke's order to kill his father would accomplish two goals at once: to prove to Snoke that he was trustworthy, and to cut off all ties to the Light; to sever himself from its draw and allure. He had thought that he could escape the pull of the Light that had been confusing him nearly all of his life, by partaking in this final step towards the Dark.

He had genuinely believed that it would help. That it would end the torment that he was in. That he would find peace and calmness like never before after fulfilling his task.

He had intended to show himself that he was not weak, but instead had made himself weaker with the action.

Every single moment of his childhood flashed through his mind now as it had then, and Kylo was barely able to draw back from Rey, severing the connection, before she saw it all. All the good times and bad times… the rare closeness between father and son being far outweighed by the distance and bitterness that had suffused his childhood…

Rey had tears leaking from the corner of her eyes as she stared at him, her eyes wide and startled but _oh so kind_.

He sensed in that moment that Rey _saw_ him – that she did, indeed, finally _understand_.

And that she was okay with who he was.

Kylo tentatively reached forward and upward with both hands, wiping away the tears on her cheeks. His brow furrowed as he was reminded once more, with her hot flesh beneath the pads of his thumbs, how ill his Rey was.

Rey reached up and caught one of his hands with hers, pressing her cheek against his palm. "I'm okay," she whispered, her breath stirring against his skin.

Kylo knew that she was talking about more than just her illness, and he couldn't help but smile tenderly at her.

"Would you… would you like me to stay and keep you company?" Kylo asked, hoping that she would say yes.

"I… no," she stated firmly. "I'd like some quiet time, if that's okay." She caught his hand tightly against her cheek, holding it there so that he couldn't pull it away.

He was hurt.

"Kylo," she murmured, and Kylo watched helplessly as she turned her head slightly and pressed a kiss against his palm. "Thank you for sharing that with me. I understand now. I really do. More than I bet you thought was possible." She placed another kiss on his palm, and Kylo shivered, his eyes fluttering shut before snapping wide open again.

"I'm just not feeling well," Rey continue, "And there are a lot of things I'd like to work through. Please."

Kylo nodded once, his expression softening. She didn't want to get rid of him because she was disgusted with him.

It was more than he'd ever thought to expect from a scenario like this.

Before he left her bedroom, he turned around and met her eyes again. She had pulled herself down onto the bed, and was lying on her side as she tracked his progress across the room. Her hair was mussed and her sleep clothes wrinkled, and she was flushed with a fever that he vowed to help her beat… but he had never seen so beautiful a creature in his life.

"Thank you," he managed to choke out.

From the softening of her expression, Rey knew exactly what he meant by that.

* * *

Hux was taking some free time for himself after a long and exhausting day of meetings, reports, and more assessments. That morning he had given the order to exit their orbit around D'Qar, as the _Instigator_ , another Resurgent-class star destroyer, had arrived to patrol the sector and oversee the conversion of D'Qar into a repair dock. Finally, the _Finalizer_ could continue with its own patrol. They had had no leads on Luke Skywalker's whereabouts, let alone the Resistance's, but Hux was confident that his network would uncover a whisper of _something_ that they could go on, sometime soon.

They had been going in and out of hyperlanes for the better part of the day, and had only just reached their next waypoint on their patrol, yet even then Hux had had no time for himself.

He hadn't even been able to check on Rey, but he was sure that if something terrible had become of her, Kylo would have told him. He took a small amount of comfort from that.

Rey… he had barely been able to even think her name all day, let alone dwell on the _kiss_ they had shared last night.

He leaned back in his chair at the desk in the small officer's library, staring blankly at the array of holobooks and datapads in front of him. He'd just finished his reports and had hoped to get some research done on the latest technological advances coming out of the First Order's shipyards – he was always looking for something to use in the future – but he just couldn't _think_.

Not about anything that wasn't related to _Rey_.

The feel of her lips against his… her fingers laced with his… her fingers on his jaw and lips… her thin frame pressed against his body when she'd hugged him.

She'd _wanted_ to hug him. She'd wanted to _kiss_ him.

Underneath her not feeling well, though, she'd seemed nervous. Was she regretting the kiss? Did it have something to do with Kylo? Did she… was she _attracted_ to Kylo as well?

That was a stupid question. Hux scoffed at himself.

Of _course_ she was attracted to Kylo as well.

Who wouldn't be?

He'd seen them nearly kiss in training yesterday morning – stars, he hadn't been able to resist shooting a final time at them to _stop_ the kiss from ever happening, out of some ridiculous surge of jealousy. He shouldn't have stopped them. He had to admit, he _wanted_ to see them kiss. Even after Rey had kissed him last night, he _still_ wanted to see it.

He knew Kylo would want it – he'd told Hux as much – and he had a feeling that Rey would as well. But getting them all on the same page… _together_? Would they all want that?

Oh _Force_ , what a mess this all was.

Hux could finally admit to himself that he wanted them both – at the _same time_ – but he had no idea how to go about it. Kylo wanted it as well… but Rey? Yes, Rey was indeed the question. She might like both of them – maybe even _more_ than like… but would she be interested in… _that_? _Stars_ … for that matter, Hux hadn't even known _he'd_ be interested in it until Kylo had practically growled the suggestion into his ear against the wall of his 'fresher, but ever since then, it seemed to be all he could think about. Him, and Kylo, and Rey… together… In bed, out of bed… a powerful force to be reckoned with, the three of them. Unstoppable. Unquenchable. Filled with passion and _love_ for each other. The mere _idea_ of it all made Hux's insides clench with desire.

All of a sudden, the door to the library hissed open. Hux glanced up and took in the very familiar silhouette of the First Knight standing in the doorway. He was wearing his mask, but as he entered the library he reached up and took it off, shaking out his hair.

How did the man's hair come out so perfectly _touchable_ every single time?

Better yet… how did Kylo know where to find him?

"How'd you know where I was?" Hux asked, curious, as he set his chair back down on all fours.

Kylo gave him a look that Hux wasn't quite sure how to interpret as he just stood on the inside of the library's door. "I've watched you for years, General," was all he said.

That should have creeped Hux out, but all it did was send an enticing _shiver_ down his spine.

Carefully keeping his emotions off of his face, Hux asked disdainfully, with a little sneer on his face, "So what brings you here? We were to meet later, I thought?"

Kylo smirked at him, as if he knew what exactly that sneer was hiding.

He probably did. The man was always too good at reading Hux.

"There's not much to discuss," Kylo practically purred, stalking towards Hux.

Hux suddenly felt exposed, as if he were prey and Kylo a predatory beast. He stood up slowly, hoping not to incite the First Knight, brushing at his uniform jacket nonchalantly and looking at Kylo with a practiced boredom that he often used in meetings to throw off peers and subordinates alike.

There was a reason he had been able to power his way through to the top of the First Order – no one had ever seen him coming.

Kylo laughed as he dropped his mask on the floor with a great _whump_. Hux had a feeling that Kylo could see right through him.

He felt like he _always_ had.

"We can discuss it later," Kylo qualified his earlier statement, a gleam in his eye.

Hux took a step backward, and instantly knew that it was a mistake. It was as if that action had opened the floodgates with Kylo, and the taller, darker man surged forward. He lifted Hux onto the desk with more ease than he had expected, large hands searing through the layers of cloth over Hux's hips, and Hux barely registered the sounds of his datapads and books being tossed to the floor, scattered all over the place.

No, he was too focused on the feel of Kylo's lips on his.

The man was devouring him greedily, as if Hux would disappear at any moment, forever, and Kylo needed to imprint the feel of Hux into his mind and against his body.

It was a desperate kiss; all lips and tongue and teeth, and soft moans and desperate groans and frenzied whines. The sounds permeated the air along with a heady feeling of _need_ and _lust_.

Kylo's tongue was thrusting into him, licking the roof of his mouth with sure strokes before pulling back and nibbling on Hux's lips with his teeth. He soothed over the soreness with his tongue and lips as he plunged his hands into Hux's hair, holding him in place as he was completely _overtaken_ by his desires.

Hux couldn't think – he didn't _want_ to think – but he definitely knew that he wanted to get lost in this sensation. He hadn't felt this much of a slave to his desires since his short affair with Keryna, two years after Leif… and not until Rey had kissed him last night did he ever think it would be possible to feel the same way again so _soon_ …

He hooked one leg around the back of Kylo's thigh and pulled himself towards the other man, rubbing his erection against Kylo's and _gasping_ as –

Kylo pulled back abruptly, just enough that Hux couldn't rub himself against him any longer. He brought a hand down to lightly grip the front of Hux's throat, a dangerous glint in his eyes, though he didn't squeeze the flesh beneath his grip.

"You kissed Rey?" Kylo rasped.

Kylo's expression suddenly became downright feral, and Hux was so lost in the haze of _want_ and _need_ that the grin elicited that he almost missed it when Kylo leaned down and breathed, "So did I," against his lips.

Hux stared up at him for a moment, his breath caught in his throat as he struggled to comprehend what exactly Kylo meant by his statement – but then he realized that Kylo meant _exactly_ what he'd said, and Hux was overtaken by a surge of passion. He propelled himself forward, crashing his lips against Kylo's warm, moist ones, and devouring him in the same way that Kylo had been doing to him minutes earlier. Kylo's hand was still caught between them against Hux's throat, but he didn't mind. In fact, he found it excited him, having the pressure there as he nipped and tugged at Kylo's lips, shoving his own hands into the hair around Kylo's head.

This had been a _long_ time in coming. To think that Kylo had kissed Rey, and _he_ had kissed Rey, and they were kissing _each other_ and that _none_ of them seemed to mind what was going on, as far as he could tell…

 _Fuck_.

It was entirely too enticing to think about.

Kylo ground himself against Hux, pushing the smaller man back down into the desk, his hardness pushing down against his own and drawing forth noises from Hux's throat that he had no idea that he could make.

Pulling back, he bit down on Kylo's neck, just above the high collar of his robes, digging in hard with his teeth – he wanted to show the _world_ that he was marking this man… that he was _claiming_ him as his own… that no one else but he and Rey could touch the man they called _theirs_.

Kylo drew back, practically throwing himself away from Hux and panting heavily as he looked at Hux with wild eyes. Hux growled at the loss of the other man's body heat pressed against him.

Hux was sure his own eyes were equally as wild. He'd had to let go with his teeth almost immediately lest he rip the skin off of Kylo's neck. As much as he wanted to _mark_ him, he didn't want to maim him as well. No, there'd been times he'd wanted to do so in the past, for entirely different reasons, but not anymore.

Hux noticed as Kylo finally closed his eyes, taking deep breaths and adjusting his robes to fall properly around his body. Hux took this as a cue to start drawing himself back together, settling his breathing into a regular rhythm even as he spun the persona of the General around his body like a well-worn jacket. Kylo was doing the same; wrapping the persona of the fearsome Knight about him.

Except for the eyes.

Neither of them could hide their eyes from each other, refusing to hide completely from the other… refusing to hide what they'd done, and what they felt.

"Why'd you stop?" Hux asked gruffly, staring intently at Kylo. He hadn't quite managed to calm his voice, it seemed.

"As much as I would like to… continue this…" Kylo's voice sounded just as rough as his own had, and Hux thrilled at that. "We're in a public library and could ruin your reputation at any moment. _My_ reputation I couldn't give two fucks about, but yours…"

Hux was oddly touched by the thoughtfulness of Kylo's answer, but he knew it wasn't the entirety of it. "That's not all, is it Kylo?" He raised an eyebrow at the Force user, in an expression he had perfected long ago.

"No," Kylo admitted. He paused a moment before stalking towards Hux again, his robes swirling around his legs and behind him with the speed of his movement. Hux's chin was gripped between the thumb and forefinger of Kylo's gloved hand, and he was forced to look up into Kylo's eyes. What he saw there was _breathtaking_.

"No," Kylo repeated, whispering the words against Hux's jawbone and letting his breath puff out across the older man's skin. Hux shivered at the sensation. "When we finally carry through with… _this_ … I want Rey to be there."

He pressed his closed lips against Hux's forcefully for one beat, two beats… then he was gone.

* * *

 **Note:** **I'm still not doing so well, but updating Codega is easy enough to do since I set it all up to post each chapter beforehand. :) I'll be okay. Thanks for your love and support. Muah!**

 **Thank you also to everyone who takes the time to read and then takes extra time to leave me comments. It leaves me feeling all warm and fuzzy, and helps me get over the heartbreak of losing everything... So for that, I thank you all for being amazing and supportive. Can't do it without you. At all. *hugs tightly and blows kisses***


	16. Overwhelmed

**Note: As ever... I am overwhelmed (it matches the chapter title!) with the support I receive from all of you. You're amazing. Reading your reviews and comments make my days so much better. I promise I'm catching up on them! Just hard with bad hands and limited access to a keyboard and so I have to make use of my phone... bleh. :P**

 **This chapter has lots of feels, at least for me! I hope that you enjoy Rey's backstory/family history. :)**

* * *

Rey stared down at the datapad in her hand, reading the note in her inbox for what seemed to be the twelfth time that day. She read it out loud, hoping that she could comprehend the meaning behind it if she could just look at it in a different way.

"Dinner in my quarters. Please arrive at 18:00 and dress up. Kylo Ren will be in attendance as well."

Her voice trailed off after muttering the words. She was still as confused as she was when she'd read it the first time. Well… perhaps 'confused' was not the correct term, she thought.

'Anxious' would be a much better word.

She'd never had to dress up for _anything_ before – or for _anyone_ , for that matter. What if she did it _wrong_? Would they laugh at her? _Kriff_ , she hoped they wouldn't. She'd probably hit them and she didn't want it hanging over her head that she had hit her Master _and_ the General.

On that note… what was the occasion? What was so special about this dinner? Rey certainly had no idea. She hadn't even _seen_ him in nearly three full days.

It was two days after Kylo had been in her quarters… the morning that she'd still been so very ill from whatever had been affecting her – the medbay still had not contacted her with any test results, though she was feeling better for the most part – and the morning that…

Rey felt herself flushing as she mused on the remembered feel of Kylo's lips against hers, her body pressed against his… A lot of it was a blur to her. She knew it was the fever that had made everything hard to remember, and she wished desperately to remember more than she could.

She sure remembered her kiss with _Hux_ , though.

Rey groaned, lifting her hand to her head and covering her eyes. "Oh _stars_ , this is going to be one _awkward_ dinner."

She'd kissed Hux. She'd kissed Kylo.

And she was _damn_ sure that Kylo and Hux had kissed. Or at least… _something_.

Rey licked her lips and felt heat coil in her belly. She turned to her closet, desperately trying to distract herself from her thoughts, but the motion only rubbed her thighs together and…

" _Kriff_ ," Rey bit out. She hardly ever swore – had never found any need for it – but today it just seemed like one of those days…

What a mess.

Rey ignored the sensation between her legs and walked towards her closet. There was only an hour to go before she was due at Hux's quarters, and she still wasn't sure about her clothing choice.

But it was too late. She needed to go with what she had.

Running her hand absently over the fabric, Rey remembered making her way out of her quarters that morning for the first time since falling ill. Her legs had been weak and she still had a slight fever, but she'd composed herself and tread carefully, making sure not to exhibit any form of weakness as she made her way to the commissary.

She'd learned quickly that weakness was something to be avoided here at all costs – which suited her _just_ fine, as it was much the same as when she had grown up on Jakku.

Rey glowered. Except on Jakku there had been far less _people_. She still wasn't all that comfortable with the teeming masses aboard the ship, but so far she'd been able to avoid them enough to suit her tastes.

Letting out a long sigh, Rey quickly divested herself of her comfortable lounge clothes. She stared blankly at herself in the long mirror on the inside of her closet door, eyes skimming over the starkness of her hip bones and ribs that still stood out after being well-fed for a couple of months now. Her skin had paled but was still mostly tanned and lightly freckled, and her breasts had gained a little bit of plumpness to them in the last few months.

Rey had never really cared about her appearance, but when she had looked at herself before, she'd always equated herself to a skinny girl-child. For the first time in… _ever_ … she actually felt like she could consider herself a woman.

She was sure that the kisses had something to do with that feeling – the absolute _desire_ for her that she sensed from the two men was a heady, addictive feeling. She felt powerful, even as she was confused as to everything going on between them… between all three of them.

Rey diverted her eyes from her naked form and quickly pulled the first part of her outfit off of its hangar. She paused for a moment, eyeballing it, and hung it back up again. "Oops," she muttered under her breath. She'd forgotten underwear. Quickly throwing those on, she grabbed the skirt off of its hangar again and pulled it over her hips, then tugged the tunic on over her head before stepping back and staring at herself in the mirror again.

She'd had no idea what would qualify as 'dressing up' but hadn't wanted to tell the beady-eyed woman what the occasion had been. She'd kept silent as she'd perused the stock of available items in her size, and had picked out what she'd thought would be best for tonight. After glancing at the officer who had been tracking her movements, she threw some more training and sleep clothes on top of the outfit, hoping to divert some of the attention away from the pretty things she was buying.

It wasn't like Rey wanted to _hide_ what she was doing… but it wasn't _any_ of their business.

Rey smoothed her hands down over the long, loose black skirt she was wearing. It was rather plain but she far preferred it that way – plus it allowed her room to move her legs, without having so much material as to get in the way if she needed to run or fight. The turquoise tunic she wore went halfway down her thighs, but had slits up the side, all the way to the black tie that had accompanied the tunic, slung low on her hips. Again, the lack of restriction was nice. She couldn't imagine having fit herself into one of the tight dresses she'd seen at the commissary – what would she have been able to do other than strip naked if she'd been attacked?

She lifted one arm and watched as the bell-shaped three-quarter length sleeves fell all the way down to her armpits. She was satisfied with the outfit's practicality – and its dressiness.

Her hair was already up in a half-up, half-down style – one she'd worn occasionally over the years when she'd lost or broken some of her ties and couldn't replace them right away. It was the only one of the hairstyles she knew how to do that could pass as vaguely dressy, and she refused to wear it all the way down – not when eating, at least.

Glancing at the chronometer, Rey gasped and flung herself down to shove the small black flats she'd also bought onto her feet, and raced for the door to her quarters. She'd obviously been staring blankly into the mirror for longer than she'd thought. She had five minutes or she'd be late.

She gasped again and turned on her heel before she reached her door. She flew back to her bedside table and grabbed her lightsaber, clipping it onto her hip. Sure, Hux had said to 'dress up' but that didn't preclude her from being armed… did it? She was sure Kylo wouldn't be unarmed, though, and she had a feeling that Hux would have his blaster nearby at the very least.

With a shrug, she ran out of her quarters and down the hall. She only had to slow to a more sedate pace when she'd felt through the Force that an officer was about to turn down the hall, but thankfully their room was only two doors down from where they turned.

Even after jogging the whole way there, Rey hadn't broken a sweat. It seemed her odd illness was very nearly fully past, though her legs were quivering a little with weakness still.

She wasn't quite sure if that was due to the illness, however.

After pressing the chime and waiting a moment, Hux ushered her inside with a gesture of his arm, his eyes sweeping up and down her body in barely-concealed appreciation as the door closed behind her. Rey's own eyes assessed Hux and her lips quirked up.

"You're still in uniform," she teased. "Was this just an excuse to see me in something like this?"

Hux smirked at her. "This _is_ dressed up for me – but I must admit, maybe there was a _little_ bit of an ulterior motive with my request." He reached down and gripped her hand, pulling it up between their chests. The look in his eye reassured her of her choice of clothes – his eyes said that he found her absolutely attractive, and Rey resisted the urge to blush and smooth her hands over her skirt.

"Kylo kept me apprised of how you were doing with your illness," he said, his eyes tightening slightly with anger on her behalf. "I didn't wish to bother you as you were resting, and I hope that didn't upset you."

"No," Rey was quick to reassure the General. "I didn't expect you to come visit me just because I was ill! I'm sure you've had plenty to do anyway. I've been feeling our jumps in and out of hyperspace for the last couple of days, and I figured you were well-occupied."

Hux smiled softly at her, his grip tightening on her hand the only warning she had before he pulled her in against his chest.

For a brief moment she thought he was going to kiss her – she even wished he _would_ – but his eyes flicked to the side momentarily before he changed the course of his lips and pressed them softly against her cheek.

Rey blinked at him as he pulled back only slightly, but she didn't have the opportunity to say anything before her Master – before _Kylo_ – was there, running his bare hand along the back of Hux's neck, and he leaned down to press a kiss to the exact same spot on Rey's cheek that Hux's lips had just left. As he drew back, Rey noticed that his hand was still on the back of Hux's neck and that Hux's breathing was coming more quickly than before.

For that matter, so was hers.

Rey pushed away from the two men, though she only moved a foot before she found her back against the door. She turned and pushed to the side, moving past the men and giving herself some space. She felt entirely too flushed from their nearness, and had had to get away before she'd embarrassed herself by turning bright red, or stumbling, or… or… or flinging herself at the both of them like some Outpost _harlot_.

Closing her eyes, she pinched the bridge of her nose with the fingers of one hand, and addressed them both after she calmed her racing heart. "Cut it out, please. I'm still not feeling well and I just want to enjoy dinner – for whatever reason we're having it – and we can figure out what the _kriff_ is going on between… we can figure it all out later, okay? Please?"

She turned around just in time to see Hux pulling himself away from Kylo's hand, though both of them were giving her startled looks. She would have laughed at them if she didn't feel so _anxious_ herself. She had _no_ idea what was going on – or what kind of game they were playing, if they were playing one at all – but all she wanted right now was good company and the chance to try some of the dishes she could smell coming from another room.

"Why are we having dinner, anyway?" she queried as she walked towards the door on the other side of the living room from the bedroom door.

Before she could reach it, Kylo was at the door, opening it for her, though remaining silent. His eyes swept hers much like Hux had earlier, and she noticed the tip of his tongue peek out from between his teeth to wet his lips.

Rey spoke up before anyone could answer her question. She came to an abrupt halt and eyed Kylo. "You're not in your usual robes," she stated curiously. "I can't imagine you would have walked the halls – even that short of a distance – without them on."

Kylo's eyes narrowed appraisingly at her, obviously impressed that she had come to know him so well in these last weeks. He glanced down his body, taking in the jacket and pants that were cut in a style reminiscent of the First Order uniforms. It was much like what Hux was wearing, but looser, and his jacket was left open to show a black undershirt peeking out underneath.

Rey's mouth went dry and she couldn't help but to dwell on the shape of his muscles beneath the fabric.

"You are correct, Rey," she heard him respond, and she tore her eyes away from his abdomen. He hadn't seemed to notice her wandering eye, thank goodness. "I brought a change of clothes with me and changed here as Hux prepared the final touches to the table."

Rey whispered, "You look nice," before she flushed and turned to Hux, who had come up behind her. Better that he see her reaction than Kylo did, though she wasn't sure why she was so embarrassed all of a sudden. "So, what's the occasion?"

Hux lifted a brow at her, but said nothing. He gripped her elbow, turned her around, and propelled her through the doorway that Kylo had opened. "Well, I figured you hadn't had much cause to try very many things over the years. Even since you've arrived here on the _Finalizer_ , all you've really had access to was the same plain food as we almost always eat on board." His voice softened, and Rey nearly choked on a sob that was welling up in her throat. No one had _ever_ done anything like this for her before – _never_. "I thought that you might like to try some of the fancier dishes that I could get my hands on. Rank does have its perks, though I'm usually too busy to really care what I eat.

Rey's feet stopped working as she entered the side room – which was obviously a dining room. She'd caught sight of the sideboard full of dishes, and her nose was filled with the thick scent of more spices than she'd ever smelt before in her _life_. It was all she could do not to trip as Hux continued to move her towards her seat. She didn't even realize she was sitting until Hux and Kylo moved across her field of vision as they walked towards the sideboard. Hux had two plates in his hands, and he and Kylo murmured to each other as Kylo placed food on all three plates with his free hand.

Hux finally made his way back towards the table and placed a plate in front of Rey. She tracked him the whole way back, her eyes never leaving his face.

He noticed her looking, and as he settled down in his own seat to the right of her, at the head of the table, he asked, "Are you alright? I hope you don't mind I picked out some items for you to sample – you weren't responding as I asked you what you'd like." His lips twitched down in a frown. "Is the food not to your liking? I can take it back; get you something else?"

Rey snapped out of her fugue and looked at him, wide-eyed and fighting back tears. She barely registered as Kylo made himself comfortable across the table from her, to Hux's right. "I… no, I'm sure the food is fine. That's not it." She gulped, getting angry at herself for not being able to control herself. "No one has ever done anything like this for me. Even before… back on… I only ever got rations, just like everyone else. And on… on… _Jakku_ ," she whispered the name, closing her eyes. "I could only ever _dream_ of this. Actually, I couldn't even dream of it. I'd never even heard of anything like this. All I _knew_ was bread and water and the occasional wild meat."

She snapped her eyes back open, glad that her tears hadn't spilled. She looked Hux in the eye, then Kylo, and then back to Hux. "Thank you," she stated fervently, reaching out to clasp the redhead's hand where it lay on the table.

Hux brought his other hand across his body and stroked his knuckles across the back of her hand, briefly, before pulling both hands away. "You're welcome," he replied with a smile. "Now, shall we try some of this food here?"

Rey's eyes darted down to her plate, and she could only stare. She didn't even know where to begin. Glancing up at Kylo and Hux once more, she noticed that they were turned towards each other as they conversed quietly with each other. She knew that they were giving Rey some space – giving her some time to handle what was going on.

These two men were just… she'd _never_ imagined they would ever be so courteous.

As soon as Rey lifted her fork and knife and bit into her food… she couldn't stop. She tried her best to follow the manners that her companions exhibited, but she also knew she would need a lot more practice at that sort of thing. She managed as best she could, though, trying to take small bites and not shovel every last thing into her mouth at the same time.

She'd been doing so _well_ these last months, with her eating habits, but right then she found herself struggling with trying not to revert to the old habit of shoving everything in like she only had seconds to eat before it was taken away.

Periodically, Hux would lean over out of his conversation with Kylo and refill her glass. He'd called the delightfully warm beverage 'mulled wine,' and had assured her that the alcoholic content was low as she'd watched him dubiously down glass after glass.

It – and everything else – was _delicious_.

Hux had humbly told her that this was nothing compared to some of the feasts that they could attend in the future, but Rey was still blown away by the quality of the food that was before her. Hux and Kylo took turns answering her questions about what was what on her plate, never once sounding bothered when she looked towards them, indicating that she had a question that would pull them out of their talks. They always turned towards her, giving her their full attention, as they explained the names of the food on her plate, and also where it came from, how it was stored, how it was cooked… patiently answering everything until she quieted down again and returned her attention to the next bite of food.

She got up and refilled her plate twice, though the third serving she could barely get down. Old habits die hard, however, and she forced herself to finish every last bite. There was _no way_ she was wasting any of this food, when she'd gone hungry for so many years before this.

Finally they found themselves in the living room again, over an hour later. Hux and Kylo were lounging on opposite ends of the couch she'd fallen asleep on previously, and Rey had lowered herself uncomfortably into an arm chair that Hux had dragged from the bedroom for one of them to sit in. She'd hidden her mouth behind one hand as she'd noticed Kylo's eyes never once leave Hux's ass as the man had bent over to pull the thing into the room.

Rey knew that Kylo could have easily moved the chair into the room with the Force.

… She could have as well, for that matter.

Hux crossed and uncrossed his legs, suddenly looking like he wished he had something in his hands to occupy them. Kylo glanced at him concernedly where he lay sprawled on the couch, long arms spread across the back and arm. All that, coupled with Hux's cleared throat before he said, "So," had Rey feeling anxious all over again.

What was going on?

"What?" she asked suspiciously, sitting up in her chair and ignoring the discomfort from her full stomach.

Hux looked towards Kylo and the other man only lifted his hands lazily in response, raising an eyebrow at Hux as if to say that it wasn't his problem.

Huffing and squaring his shoulders, Hux turned towards Rey. "I've never done something like this before, so I'll just go out and say it."

Rey eyed him warily.

"I found your parents," he stated quickly, sounding the most rushed she'd ever heard him sound.

And with that, Rey's world was turned upside down.

She slumped back in the arm chair, her hands clenching the fabric of her skirts and digging through until her trim nails pinched through it and into the skin of her thighs. He… had found her _parents_?

All Rey could hear was a rushing sound. She felt like the ground had been ripped abruptly from beneath her feet, which only increased the light nausea that had settled in her stomach from having eaten so much earlier. She shut her eyes, clenching them tightly closed. She breathed in and out, in and out, and slowly she was able to regain control.

Opening her eyes again, she looked towards the couch and saw Hux turned towards the other man with his hand on Kylo's shoulder. Kylo looked like was struggling to get up to go to Rey, and she watched as Hux placed his other hand on Kylo's thigh. She barely caught his words, but they sounded like, "Just give her a moment."

"I'm okay," Rey struggled to announce, brushing her hand over her hair in a nervous gesture. She slowly unclenched her other hand from her skirt and smoothed the material back down.

Hux removed his hands from Kylo after shooting him one last glance – presumably a warning to keep his distance and behave – and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.

"Are they… alive?" Rey whispered, preparing herself for the worst.

"Yes," Hux replied, a smile blossoming across his worried features and softening his expression. Rey couldn't help but to respond to his smile with a tentative one of her own. "I can tell you all about them."

"Please," Rey caught his eyes and held them.

Rey couldn't find it in herself to interrupt him as he pulled out his datapad and began to speak, though he didn't seem to need the details therein as he recounted the tale of her origins, holding her eyes – though he did occasionally glance down to confirm a point before recapturing her gaze.

"Your father's name is Timothy Coiro and he comes from a planet called Denon. Your mother is a little more exotic, as the daughter of the then-Senator from Koros Major – also known as Empress Teta. Her name is Selene Emmett, though of course now she goes by Selene Coiro. Your birth name was Raelyn Coiro."

Rey's memory shook as she heard whispers of a woman's voice calling out to her – _'Rey… Raelyn, come here_ _,_ _sweetheart!'_

Hux's voice gently intruded into her thoughts as he continued, his voice oddly soothing as it fell into the same cadence of instruction she'd heard him use before. "Your mother met your father – it doesn't really detail how – and left her family after they protested her involvement with an Imperial officer. Though Empress Teta aligned with the Separatists, I can only imagine that perhaps your mother's family was not necessarily in agreement with that decision. There is not much mention of the former Senator Emmett after the split, I'm sorry to say."

Rey waved the apology off with a flick of her wrist, focusing solely on her parents rather than on any extended family she may have had. There was time to learn more about that later – if there was anything to learn.

"Your mother joined the First Order and put her degree in Physics to good use – she's now a Captain and head of her own Weapons Development division building prototype weapons for the First Order to use. Mostly small-scale stuff like blasters and TIE-fighter weapons, but I thought her name sounded familiar and… well, I _did_

her division when we were building Starkiller. Nothing more than consultation through written memos, but I found that part interesting."

Rey nodded absently, trying desperately to wrap her mind around all of the information she was being given. Perhaps Hux could tell that her mind was feeling strained, so he continued on hurriedly.

"Your father is a Commandant of one of the First Order's Academies, where your mother is stationed as well. We do strive to keep together families when we can, especially ones as well-decorated and honored as your parents are." There was a lot of respect in Hux's tone of voice, and Rey smiled tightly at him before he continued. "I honestly can't divulge too many details – since even I don't know them all – but your father oversees the training of one of our black ops divisions."

At Rey's querying look, Hux clarified. "A black ops team is usually a group of highly-skilled military men who go on covert missions to accomplish goals where the First Order – or any military organization, really – does not want to broadcast their presence."

Rey nodded her head in understanding, pursing her lips. Hux had quieted down, allowing Rey to process everything, it seemed. Her eyes strayed over to Kylo's form, and he was looking at her with a rough and primal version of concern on his face – as if he wanted to knock down everything between them and wrap her in his arms to protect her, but he knew he couldn't… not from _this_.

The look he was giving her was oddly enough to help center her.

Rey breathed in deeply, frowned, and reached forward with her hand, plucking the datapad from Hux's hand with the Force. She hadn't done that with anything other than her lightsaber before, but at that moment she didn't even think about the fact – she just wanted the datapad in her hand _right then_.

Kylo sat up from where he was still slouched, looking between Rey and Hux with a startled look to his eye that Rey barely noticed because she was already perusing the information before her eyes. "How did I get… taken?" she murmured, a flash of renewed anger at Luke Skywalker's and Leia Organa-Solo's role in her abduction from her family.

She was scrolling through the file, trying to find mention of it. When she found it, her hand stilled and she looked down at the words in horror. "I… I have – _had_ – a brother?" she gasped.

She heard Hux sigh unhappily and reply, "Yes, Rey. You had a brother. An older one. He died protecting you when you were kidnapped. It was on Coruscant. You were five, your brother fourteen, I think. His name was Phillip. Your family was visiting another family that your parents were friends with, on leave, and it seems that's where your Force-sensitivity was observed and you were… taken."

Rey stared at the picture taken of her brother when he was thirteen – obviously some form of class photo. There was a sparkle in his eye that even the camera had been able to capture, and his hair was nothing but a mop of messy ash blond.

"There's video of the… event," Hux continued, hesitantly, "But I don't think you should look at –"

Rey was already pressing her finger on the video's link, and the sound of the surveillance feed was barely audible as she watched with a certain degree of detachment the pivotal moment in her young life – and the end of her brother's, apparently.

That detachment didn't last long as she watched, frozen stock-still, as four hooded figures entered what appeared to be a hotel room. What could only be a young Rey was wrenched against one form and pulled from the room as her brother – as _Phillip_ – grabbed a blaster from behind a bookcase. He cried out for her – _'Rey!'_ and fired at the intruders as he tried to follow. He was skilled – had obviously received some training – but was not skilled _enough_. One of the intruders fired back and caught Phillip right in the chest, burning a hole through his unprotected body, clean through to the other side. The angle was completely wrong to catch sight of the expression on his face as he died, but Rey's imagination eagerly provided her with one of its own. She watched long enough to see one of the other men rush forward and place his hands on the body of her brother, then look up and yell at the man who had fired, _'We were not here to kill – especially not a child!'_ before getting up and running from the room.

The man who had knelt by the side of her brother had been _Luke_. She would recognize his features anywhere, any time, burned as they were into her mind's eye.

He… had he tried to _heal_ her brother?

It was no matter.

He had been responsible for the death of her brother as surely as if he had pulled the trigger himself.

Rey was filled with hatred more vast and deep than she'd ever experienced before. Hatred on behalf of a brother she'd never even known she had – but would now never meet.

Yes… she had found her family. Yes… they were alive. But her brother wasn't.

 _Phillip._

Rey choked back a sob as she stood up, flinging the datapad into the seat she had just vacated as she flew across the room. She was overwhelmed. She needed to get _out_. Suddenly – desperately – she felt a deep yearning for Jakku. For the way she could simply be alone, knowing that there was no one around to bother her for miles.

She needed to be _alone_.

* * *

Hux bit the inside of his cheek as he watched Rey flee his quarters. The poor woman must be processing so _much_ , it was no wonder that she'd fled. To hear that her family was still alive must have been such an immense high – only to then be brought immeasurably _low_ when she saw the video of her brother's death.

He clenched his fists at that. The _fucking_ Resistance – though they hadn't called themselves that quite yet, at the time – had killed Rey's brother while kidnapping her from her family. All because she was a Force-sensitive who they knew would be happily placed into the hands of the First Order's military for training as a weapon.

It was all about one-upmanship to Leia and Luke Skywalker. While he could understand that mentality entirely _too_ well, he had never kidnapped a child before for the sake of what that child _might_ do. Some might suggest that Kylo Ren himself had been kidnapped, but Hux knew enough about the man to know that Kylo had made the decision entirely on his own to pursue the dream of his grandfather; disgust at the disorder in the world driving him easily into the arms of the First Order and Knights of Ren.

Still others might even equate his Stormtrooper program with kidnapping, but they were fools who knew _nothing_ of his moral standards, warped as they might seem – every last child placed under his care was a child who had been freely given.

Hux was snapped out of his thoughts, reacting instinctively to grip the belt of Kylo's pants as the other man jumped to his feet.

Kylo twisted as much as he could and glared at Hux. "I can't just let her wander off alone like that," he snarled, his emotions readily apparent as they flashed across his features.

"You _can_ and you _will_ ," Hux snarled right back, letting his own emotions get the best of him.

Kylo blinked at that, dropping the tension from his frame.

Hux sighed, letting his shoulders droop but not letting go of Kylo's belt. It wasn't often he let go of himself like that. "She just needs time, Kylo. That's... a _lot_ to take in. Going from having no one, to having parents and a brother – one of whom was _killed_ by people she had thought to call friends at some point in her life?"

Kylo looked angry all over again, tension quickly filling out his lithe form into something far more dangerous than it first appeared.

Hux did the only thing he could think to do in the moment – he yanked on Kylo's belt, pushing his leg forward so as to catch the back of Kylo's knee, which forced Kylo to fall with a grunt onto the cushion directly beside Hux.

He could have avoided the fall if he really wanted to, Hux knew.

Pushing the other man back so that he was leaning half-propped against the arm of the couch, Hux climbed onto Kylo's lap, pinning him down with a knee to either side of the Knight's hips. He could feel the heat coming off of the other man – he always seemed to run hot, and it just make Hux's blood rise that much more to feel the heat of the other man between his legs.

He'd been wanting to do this for _days_ now, and the intimate setting of the dinner had done nothing but fan the flames of both of their desire.

Hux pressed his lips against Kylo's – but he did it gently. He approached Kylo with caution, not wishing to rouse the animalistic nature of Kylo's inner self with the current mood suffusing the room.

This kiss was about comfort and solace – and yes, even a little bit of control. Controling Kylo with his lips and teeth so that he wouldn't go chasing after the young woman who occupied their thoughts. Controling Kylo so that _Hux_ would get the chance to explore the dark man's mouth and body for a change. Controling Kylo so that he could remind him that _he_ had power, too.

He dragged his left hand up and down Kylo's side, letting his right grip the man's jaw, holding it in place so that Hux could explore at his leisure. He wished to explore the texture of the man's skin beneath his hands; wished to explore the sounds that he could elicit from the other man as he ran his tongue against his; wished to feel the slow pebbling of Kylo's nipples through his shirt as he pressed against him, chest to chest; he wished to explore this man that he wanted to _claim_.

And Kylo _let him_.

Hux knew that he was letting him – that the other man could flip them around and dominate him at a moment's notice – but that in itself was a thrilling component to the kiss. He could fight for dominance, if it came to that, especially now – but it _would_ be a fight, if Kylo truly wanted it. Right now he had no inclination to be dominated, however. Right now he wanted Kylo beneath him, spread before him, at his _mercy_...

Kylo groaned as Hux ground against him, and Hux nipped at the man's lower lip before proceeding down his jaw line. He used the change of angle to press his hard length against Kylo's in a much more _fulfilling_ way and –

Suddenly, a small hand was pushing on his chest. Instinctually, Hux knew exactly who it was, even before he opened his eyes and saw one of Rey's hands placed on Kylo's chest as well as his own.

Hux leaned back, eyes wide and his breaths coming in sharp gasps even as he tried desperately to calm them. Kylo was no better, but his eyes were darkening even further with desire.

Hux frantically shook his head in the negative at Kylo over Rey's head, telling the dark man with his eyes that this was _not_ the time or place to attempt anything like that.

That Rey was not here for _that_.

"Rey?" he asked hesitantly, reaching a hand up to grip hers where it pressed against his fast-beating heart.

She was staring blankly into the space she'd created between the two men, but she mumbled out a response, at least. "I thought I wanted to be alone, but I didn't even get to the end of the second hallway before I realized all I wanted was to be held. I've... I've never wanted that before," she finished on a whisper. Her eyes weren't quite tearing up, but they were glassy, Hux noticed.

"We can do that," Hux replied at the same time as Kylo reached for Rey's waist, pulling her onto the couch between them. She curled up with her head on Kylo's shoulder, his arm wrapped around her still, and one knee hooked over his thigh.

From the shuddering breath that Kylo let out, there was no way she hadn't noticed what she was rubbing against. Yet still the man behaved.

Hux held himself slightly apart from her back as his body still hadn't calmed down, but Rey reached back and gripped his hand to pull it around her body – bringing his body flush against hers. He closed his eyes and started to count backwards from one hundred, trying desperately not to focus on the feel of her ass against his cock.

Now was _not_ the time, he thought – telling _himself_ the same message he had tried to impart to Kylo.

Giving it up as a lost cause and letting his body recover naturally, he rested his cheek on the back of the couch and simply listened to Rey and Kylo breathe.

"Do you think they'd like to see me? Do they know I'm alive?" Rey asked, sounding more vulnerable than Hux had ever heard her before.

Before he could respond, Kylo spoke up, shifting his head so that he could rest his cheek on her full head of hair. "Hux hasn't contacted them yet. He was going to tomorrow, though. But... Rey... they might not want to. You need to prepare yourself for that. As much as your origins have pained you in the past, not knowing what you lost... they know _exactly_ what they lost. They might..."

Rey finished for him, with a breadth of maturity and understanding that pained Hux's soul. "They might not want to reopen the wound."

Kylo was silent for a moment, and then spoke up. "Exactly." The pain in his voice made Hux clench his eyes shut.

Rey must have heard it as well, because her body started to quiver. It was barely noticeable, but he and Kylo wrapped their arms around Rey even tighter in response.

She never once sobbed, though they could tell she wanted to.

She never cried.

Soon, she was asleep.

It wasn't long before Hux and Kylo followed her into slumber, completely wrapped around her smaller frame.


	17. Beguiling

Kylo woke with a start at the sound of an alarm going off, and his first thought was, ' _That's not mine._ ' He attempted to stretch, only to realize that his arms were pinned. He cracked an eye open and was greeted by a mop of brown hair resting on his chest, rising and falling with the rhythm of his breaths.

 _Rey_.

The memories of last night rushed back into his mind, clearing his mind fully of sleep. Dinner, Hux telling Rey about her parents, her despair at her brother's loss, Hux absolutely _dominating_ him – he shivered at that – and Rey…

Rey had come into the room while Hux was on top of him, and hadn't seemed to bat an eye at the sight. She'd simply interposed herself between them and asked to be held. He remembered wanting to take the pain away from her, and if holding her was what was required of him to do so, then that was what he would do.

It wasn't like he could bring her brother back.

But… he _could_ help her avenge his murder.

Kylo tilted his head down and kissed the top of her head, his lips lightly caressing her snarled hair as his mind dwelled on that thought. Yes – he could certainly help her with that, if that was her wish. Luke had much to answer for already, and now there was more. The man's debt to the galaxy and its people was growing every day.

A hand entered his field of vision, snapping him out of his thoughts as it reached up to run its fingers through the snarls of brown hair. Kylo looked up through his lashes, his lips still against Rey's head, and met Hux's eyes.

Hux met his gaze unflinchingly, his hair mussed in a way that Kylo bet very few had ever seen. It was remarkably becoming, and Kylo extricated his hand from beneath Rey's warm body and slowly reached his hand towards the other man's hair. Hux held his eyes the entire time that Kylo's hand was moving towards his hair, refusing to look away.

Kylo's fingers swept through the fine strands, taking his time in enjoying the texture, and memorizing every nuance of Hux's facial expression as he did so. He gripped Rey's back with his free hand, preparing to lean towards Hux's lips –

"Will someone turn that _kriffing_ alarm off already?" Rey grumbled against his chest, her hot breath swirling through the weave of his shirt's fabric. "As comfortable as this is, I'm expected at the med bay at 7:00 and your alarm is set for, what, 5:00? I may as well take the time to get something proper to eat before I'm expected."

All this was said as her face was muffled against Kylo's chest. He stared down at the top of her head once more, only to bring his eyes back up as Hux laughed.

"Well, I _am_ expected on the bridge in forty-five minutes anyway, so I guess I can go turn it off. Time to start the day and all that, though yes, this _is_ comfortable."

Hux extricated himself from the couch and then stood over them for a moment as if he were pondering something important. Rey had pulled her head back from his chest and was looking up at Hux from where she still sat cradled on Kylo's lap, his arms wrapped around her.

Hux had a gleam in his eye and Kylo could only watch, wide-eyed, as Hux bent down and pressed a kiss against Rey's startled lips, holding Kylo's gaze the entire time as if in challenge.

Rey let out a gasp even as his lips were moving over hers, but before she – or Kylo – could say or do anything, Hux had swept away into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. "I'll see you on the bridge later, Kylo!" they could hear him call out through the walls.

Rey turned her head back to Kylo and it was only then that he realized he was getting rather stiff beneath her hip. He'd been staring rather openly after the cheeky redhead, hardly daring to believe that the man had _kissed_ Rey right on his lap. He hadn't been able to look away – the sight had been _breathtaking_ and completely _arousing_ , even in its simplicity. The fact that it had been almost… domestic… had been the final nail in the coffin for him, so to speak. Kylo knew he was well and _truly_ lost to these two.

Kylo gripped Rey by the waist and set her swiftly to the side as he turned around to rearrange himself.

"You said you have an appointment at the med bay at 7:00?" he asked, his voice rough.

Rey cleared her throat and replied, just as roughly, "Yes."

Kylo practically went weak at the knees all over again. That she had been as turned on as _he_ had been? It went beyond his wildest dreams. He was barely able to control himself but managed to get himself contained by taking deep breaths. There was no way she didn't notice, though. "I'll meet you outside your quarters in thirty minutes and we'll have breakfast before heading to the medbay. All I need to do is change here but I imagine you'll want to freshen up, no?"

"Okay. Okay… Kylo," she agreed as he heard her moving towards the door to the quarters.

He nearly whirled around and pulled her back to the couch at his name coming from her lips. But there was no time. He wanted to hear what the doctor had to say, and there was no way they would miss that appointment.

"Rey," he called out to her before she reached the door.

"Yes?"

"I… I'm not sure how you feel about everything – about all of this. But just in case… there's no one outside in the hallway right now." Kylo didn't want her reputation ruined – not before she knew what she wanted and could assert herself against rumors. But a ship like this… sometimes things could get carried away.

"Thank you," he heard after a pause, and then the door hissed open and shut as she left.

Kylo eyed Hux's bedroom door and then marched over to it. He slammed his fist against it a couple times and barked out, "I need my clothes and mask!"

It wasn't even a minute before the door had slid open just enough for a pile of clothes to come flying out through the crack and into his face, quickly followed by the sound of his mask thudding to the floor at his feet before the door hissed shut again.

* * *

Rey had already been taken into one of the private examination rooms when Kylo pulled her doctor aside and into the man's office.

The doctor sighed as he closed the door, and then moved behind his desk to sit down.

Dr. Lesda had been the one to treat Kylo for his injuries after the events on _Starkiller_. Oddly enough, instead of running away in terror like many of the other doctors had done, Dr. Lesda hadn't put up with any of Kylo's tantrums. Or rather, he hadn't let them bother him. He'd continued to treat his patient with the understanding and patience that any of his other patients would receive.

That had earned him the respect of the Knight.

Thus, he was one of the few he removed his mask for. He set the mask at his feet as he sat in one of the hard-backed chairs before the man's desk.

"What can I do for you Master Kylo?" Dr. Lesda queried.

Kylo cut right to the chase, not wanting to waste his or the doctor's time. "I want a health update on my Apprentice. She was rotting on a desert planet for years and I need to –" He cut himself off before he betrayed the depth of his feelings for the woman in question.

Dr. Lesda cut in smoothly in the same tone of voice most doctors learned over the years; the one that put patients and family members alike at ease. "She's almost fully recovered from her malnourishment, Master Kylo. She's still thinner than I'd prefer, but she's lean and tough and muscular, and at least falls into the proper body weight category for her height. We've been sending vitamin drinks to her quarters in the evenings since she arrived weeks ago and had her first check-up, and she told us when she was last in that she's been making sure to drink them all."

"Good, good," Kylo muttered. Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind.

Before he could temper himself, the words slipped from his mouth. "Has she been fitted with an implant?" He kept his face blank as he realized how much he'd overstepped his bounds, even as the Apprentice's Master. He quickly added on, to cover his tracks, "And she's received all her immunizations? I do not wish her to fall prey to seemingly innocent things that First Order children have been immunized against, or taught, since childhood."

Dr. Lesda gave him a funny look, obviously having caught the impropriety of his question. He answered him anyway, humoring the Force user. "Yes, she's been immunized. Yes, she's been given a full physical. Yes, she is healthy, besides the malnourishment. Yes, she has been fitted with the chip – she asked for it, herself, last visit, even sick as she was. She even asked for some our data files on that… health topic," he said uncomfortably, perhaps wishing that he hadn't, in fact, decided to answer Kylo's question. "Is your curiosity sufficiently appeased, Master Kylo?" he asked.

Kylo simply raised his brow at the man, keeping his face blank. There was only so much he would let the other man get away with. "Yes," he growled.

His mind was already lost, thinking about how Rey had _asked_ for a birth control implant. Why had she done that? Was she just being careful? Did she have something in mind? Was she –

"There's the matter of her test results, however, Master Kylo," the doctor interrupted, pulling Kylo straight out of his thoughts.

"Go on," Kylo commanded.

"Well. As her Master, I figured I would tell you first so it's good that you came in with her, otherwise I'd have to call you and –"

"I _said_ , go on," Kylo snarled, liking less and less that the doctor was prefacing so much.

"She was poisoned. I'm not exactly sure how or why – or _who_ – but all the markers are there in her blood. Well, they were. Honestly, she looks perfectly healthy today, if a little weak, and I expected her to still be feverish and in bed for another –"

"The Force," Kylo replied absently, his voice gruff. "The Force often burns away toxins in a body really quickly," he explained without looking at the doctor. His eyes were staring into the distance, trying to figure out who would do such a thing. There were plenty of possibilities – but he needed more _proof_.

"What poison was it?" he asked, his voice blanking out entirely into a deadly calm.

Dr. Lesda eyed him warily as he replied, "Some plant-based toxin, much like cyanide. I can get you the report if you –"

"I would appreciate that, Dr. Lesda. That will be all," he said coolly as he stood, placing his mask on his head again as he moved towards the office door.

He stopped before opening the door, twisting his head to look at the doctor. His voice modulator crackled slightly as he ordered, "Don't tell Lady Rey about the poisoning. I leave it to you to tell her what caused her symptoms. I want to be the one to tell her. I'll make sure she doesn't eat or drink alone, you can be sure of it. And I _will_ find who is responsible for this."

He didn't wait to see if the doctor agreed to his orders before he was out the door of the office, and out the doors of the medbay.

Finding an empty storage room only a few steps down the hall, he let his rage flow as he activated his lightsaber.

 _How dare they?_

* * *

Kylo stood just on the side of the doors to the bridge, watching as the General strode from station to station, conferring with his subordinate officers. The steps he took were purposeful and confident, and Kylo couldn't keep his eyes off of him.

At least he had his mask on. It wouldn't do for others to see the hungry look that was surely consuming his expression.

Every last thing about the General was meticulously put together, and it was always the most noticeable when the man was on the bridge of _his_ ship, commanding _his_ men and women, and looking out upon the stars of the galaxy around them.

The first time Kylo had seen the General like this, in his element, he'd known he _had_ to have him – one way or another.

The sight of the redheaded man helped to calm Kylo even further from his release of tension earlier, which was odd, considering that years ago the sight of the man would only have _caused_ an unbearable amount of tension. Well… a _different_ sort of tension.

Oh, how things were changing.

"Master Ren!" Hux had caught sight of him finally. "My office, _now_." There was a hint of anger to his voice, which was hardly unusual. Yet Kylo couldn't tell if the man was just keeping up appearances or honestly mad about something.

Kylo nodded once and strode across the gleaming black floor, making his way with long, clunking strides towards the door on the far side of the bridge from the entrance.

As soon as the doors were closed behind the two of them, Hux hit a series of keys on the door's key pad to turn off the security feed – one that was for his eyes only, in any case – and then was suddenly pushing Kylo against the wall. His gloved fingers fumbled at the latches on his mask until finally he found them, disengaging the mask from off of Kylo's head with a hiss and then dropping it to the floor carelessly.

Kylo snarled, but Hux pushed him forcefully against the wall with a hand against his throat. Kylo was in _no mood_ for this right now, fun as it might have been at another time. There were things he needed to tell Hux; things that –

"Stop. Kriffing. Damaging my ship, _Ren_ ," Hux spat out, his face contorted into a snarl of his own.

Ah, so he'd already gotten the damage report.

Kylo glared at the man, stilling himself beneath Hux's hands. "Fuck you," he retorted.

"That can be arranged, you arrogant, petulant _child_ ," hissed Hux, his head tilting up slightly to nip at Kylo's throat.

Pleasure flared through Kylo's nerves, but he held onto what he needed to impart to Hux before their absence went on longer than it should and was… remarked upon. He twisted himself around until the other man was forced against the wall, Kylo's lips against Hux's ear. "If you'd learned what I just learned, and you had my lightsaber at hand, you would have done the _exact_ same thing, _Armitage_ ," he whispered as he pressed his body against the thinner man's.

"What? What did you learn?" Hux asked breathlessly. Kylo could feel the excitement of the other man against his hip, even through the thick layers of his clothing.

' _Rey was poisoned_ ,' he said into Hux's mind.

He was ready for the reaction Hux gave, and quickly reached up with his hand to muffle the other man's verbal outcry, the leather of his gloves contrasting sharply against the whiteness of Hux's skin. His green eyes were wide as he met Kylo's.

After a moment, however, he gave a nod, telling Kylo that he was more in control of himself. Kylo pulled his hand back, but placed it beside Hux's head and left the rest of his body exactly where it was, pressing Hux into the wall.

"She was _what_?" Hux asked, his tone still carrying an edge of disbelief.

' _Dr. Lesda said it was something like cyanide_ ,' Kylo continued, non-verbally. It never hurt to be too careful. ' _He doesn't know who or how, but it's out of her system now._ '

"I'm sure you have an idea on who it might be," Hux replied angrily, a flush rising up his neck and over his cheeks. "I know I do."

' _I do, but I need more proof. There's a delicate balance to be maintained among my Knights but…_ '

"But what?"

' _This was one of my contingency plans,_ ' Kylo admitted, sharing a detail with Hux that made it clear exactly how _long_ Kylo had been planning. ' _I'm going to call the Knights back from the other ships in the First Order fleet. It will serve multiple purposes. First and foremost it will distract Ja'al Ren from his little power plays – he's grown too comfortable being one of the few Masters on board, and with others vying for power… he may slip and give us an opportunity to learn more of his plans._ '

"And the other purposes?" Hux breathed against Kylo's neck.

' _The main one will be to prepare to move against Snoke,_ ' Kylo stated simply.

Kylo felt Hux hold his breath even as he could feel his heartbeat stutter where it was pressed against his chest. After a moment, the General nodded and replied simply, "Very well. That is indeed a very wise course of action. The Knights that are guarding… _him_ , personally, though?"

Kylo pulled back slightly, looking down at the shrewd man with an admiring gaze. ' _They are too far under his influence. I will have enough trouble weeding out those loyal to me, and those loyal to Snoke and… others… from among those simply stationed on other ships or planets._ '

"He won't find it odd that you are calling them back at this time?"

Kylo gave him a cutting look. ' _I can manipulate the damn fool into anything I want him to believe at this point. Plus, they are_ my _Knights. If I want them around just to mix things up a little, then that's what I get._ '

Hux smirked at that, but it was quickly wiped away as he returned to what Kylo had earlier told him. "We'll need to watch her extra carefully now, won't we?"

Kylo glowered, pulling away from the man fully, finally, and stepping towards Hux's desk. "Yes. I'll try to catch her and eat with her for every meal, if possible – at least until we catch… the perpetrator. But there's such thing as too smothering with her. She'll freak out if she thinks we're coddling her."

"I agree. We'll just do what we can, and in the meantime try to take out the threat without anyone the wiser. Are you going to tell her what happened to make her so ill? I assume you told the doctor not to, if I'm any judge of your character after all these years."

Kylo glared at Hux, but only half-heartedly. "Not yet,"

"She's not going to like that either, you know."

"I _do_ know. Just… let me handle it," Kylo growled.

"Fine. Fine," Hux repeated as he shrugged his shoulders gracefully. "If she asks me point blank though, I'm not keeping any secrets from her. That woman would beat me half to death if she thought I was holding something like that back from her." Hux sounded equal parts impressed, terrified, and aroused at the thought of the smaller woman beating him into submission.

Kylo only glared at him, ignoring the comment, and asked, "Can I use your transmissions system? It's the most encrypted in the fleet and while I'm here I may as well make use of it."

Hux nodded and propped himself against the wall as Kylo sat in the General's chair at the desk. "Do you want me to leave? I'm sure the crew is wondering if you've killed me by now."

"Force take them," Kylo grumbled. "No, you can stay. I won't be long. I just need to make one transmission, and then the rest will contact their designated contacts, and so on."

He didn't bother with placing his mask back on his head as the transmission encrypted itself. Once the proper reply codes were given, a video feed was activated. On the screen was a human woman with vibrant red hair, a half-mask pulled down to rest over her neck. Her brown eyes flashed before she tilted them downwards in obeisance. "First Knight, what can I do for you?"

"Savat Ren," he greeted his second-in-command. "I will not waste time that neither of us has. I'm calling the Knights home to the _Finalizer_. See to it that the command is issued in the proper format to the remaining Knights. I expect the trainees as well. If the Generals, Admirals, or other commanding officers offer protests, have them contact me personally. I expect them to offer every assistance in making sure you arrive here safely. I will leave the logistics in each senior Knight's hands, though."

"Yes, Master," Savat Ren replied. "We will be there as soon as possible. The coordinates of your patrol will be made available through First Order channels?"

"I'll make sure that it's done, Savat," he nodded.

She grinned at him then, and lowered her voice. "I look forward to seeing you soon then, Master Kylo," she said before shutting down the connection.

Kylo blinked at the screen in surprise and Hux laughed, though there was a hard edge to it – a jealous edge. "That one's going to be trouble. Haven't seen her in years, Kylo. She still has that thing for you?"

Kylo groaned, running a hand through his hair. This was going to be trouble. But it would be worth the trouble, in the end, if just to get the fucker away from Rey – away from all of them. He stared at Hux for a moment, taking in his words, finally, and then he smirked. "Don't tease me about Savat Ren. If you do, I'll just call your mother to come in. I'm sure she'd have a splendid time playing house-mother to all the Knights who will be arriving soon."

Hux turned red the quickest that Kylo had probably ever seen the man do so. He opened his mouth, about to let loose what would probably be a torrent of curse words at Kylo -

Suddenly Kylo's personal comm beeped out that foreboding series of sounds that meant only one thing.

"That… _man_ … has the worst sense of timing," he muttered to himself as he pressed buttons on the comm to look at the message. His skin paled, and Hux was kneeling at his side shortly thereafter.

"What is it?" Hux asked, gripping Kylo's chin with his gloved hand and forcing him to look him in the eye.

"Snoke wants to meet with Rey… _today_. He's given me an hour to fetch her and bring her. She's not _ready_ , Taj."

"Fuck," Hux whispered as he clenched his other hand into the fabric of Kylo's robes.

Kylo lifted his comm again and pressed another button. "Sarai Ren?" he asked. At her confirmation, he continued, "I know you and Rey were spending lunch together, but can you show her to the hall outside Supreme Leader's audience chamber? You can leave her there, and I will meet her there shortly. That will be all."

He turned off the comm and stood, Hux following him as he made his way to where his mask lay on the ground. He picked it up, but suddenly Hux was there as he turned around, pressing himself tightly against Kylo's body. He caught Kylo's lips with his with a hard edge of desperation, but quickly drew back before Kylo could give in to the kiss.

"Be careful," Hux pleaded.

Kylo looked at him curiously, his lips still tingling. He'd never heard the General sound so… vulnerable… before. There were many ways he could respond – so _very_ many – but he found his eyes softening in response as he reached up to brush a gloved thumb over the General's lower lip. "I will."

"Try to prepare her as best you can – actually, never mind that. I _know_ you will. She's strong, but…"

"I know," was all Kylo said as he placed his mask on over his head and turned to exit the office's door.

* * *

Rey perked up at the sight of Kylo Ren coming towards her down the hall. She'd heard him coming from minutes away – how could she not? – but now that she had caught sight of him, her mood was much better.

Sarai had left her on a bench in this hallway. She'd heard the instructions Kylo had given the trainee and had easily followed the teenager through the halls of the _Finalizer_ until they reached this specific hallway. Sarai had looked as if she wished to stay to provide company for Rey, but she'd also kept shooting fearful glances at the large doors just down the hallway. Finally, Rey had asked her if she had training of her own to get to, and the girl had fled quickly, nearly forgetting to bow to _Lady Rey_.

Rey snorted at that. She still hadn't quite convinced the blonde to call her Rey. But perhaps… well, perhaps she needed to stop insisting on that and just let it come naturally.

It still felt odd.

Kylo walked right past her, motioning for her to follow him into an empty room. He waved his hand and the shutters closed over the windows, plunging the already-dark room into complete darkness once the door was closed as well.

Kylo's gloved hand caught her bare one and she heard the _thunk_ of his mask hitting the floor. She was wearing her training garb and her cowl was pooled around her shoulders, but her gloves were tucked into her belt on the opposite side of her lightsaber.

He said nothing but he pulled her against his chest, pressing his back against the wall. Rey thrilled at the sensation; the dark only heightened the thrill of it all.

"What–?" Rey asked but he spoke quickly into her mind to silence her.

' _It's better to speak like this right now. You can do this, can you not? Just like we've been practicing.'_

Rey chewed on her lip a moment and then reached out towards his mind just as he'd shown her countless times the last few weeks. ' _Yes. What's going on?'_

' _We have very little time. Snoke has called to meet with you today, days earlier than we had expected.'_

Rey stilled, yet her mind was anything but quiet, haring off in all directions as she wrestled with what he had just told her.

She was going to meet the Supreme Leader. _Today_.

' _But I'm still weak!'_ she protested. _'Not only physically still from that stupid flu, but also mentally. I just… What if I can't do this? What if he breaks me? What if –'_

Rey could feel herself unravelling quickly, her mental barriers fraying at the edges.

Suddenly, Kylo wrapped his arms around her and lifted her until her face was even with his. He pressed his forehead against hers briefly, and then sought out her lips, using his nose to guide his way across her face.

Rey gasped as she felt his lips against hers. She couldn't see, and she reached out blindly to place her hands on his shoulders. She hardly needed to prop herself up as he was easily holding her weight in his arms against him, her legs dangling, but she felt like she needed some place to put her hands.

The darkness only heightened the sensation of his lips on hers as they pressed fervently against her mouth. Her heart was thudding in her ears as she opened her lips to the push of his tongue against her mouth, even as she laid herself bare for him mentally at the push of his thoughts to hers.

His tongue swept against hers, caressing the roof of her mouth and then drawing back so that he could nibble on her lips at the same time as his mind coursed through hers. She let out a soft sigh, drawing air right back in before settling into a languorous kiss as he pulled her into her mind with him.

He drew her along with him as he helped her shore up her mental defenses, giving her strength through his mind – as well as through the reassuring touch of his body to hers – so that she could hold the pieces together after he moved on.

As he went, he flashed her images of his encounters with Snoke – images and conversations that would better prepare her for what was coming. She learned years' worth of knowledge in what seemed to be moments, though of course she was sure she wouldn't be able to apply it all. There was no way she could… but she would _try_.

They kissed for minutes in the same holding pattern as they focused inwards, barely moving a muscle except for the soft caresses of their lips and tongues.

' _Better_ ,' she heard Kylo announce before he pulled out of her mind. He didn't pull his mind out fully, though; instead he left a small part of him connected to her as reassurance as he continued to kiss her, sending her comfort and security and _strength_. Rey felt safer; better prepared; more _complete._

"Thank you," she whispered against his lips. Filled with sudden excitement, Rey lifted her legs and wrapped them around Kylo's hips, tucking them between him and the wall. She brought her hands up and weaved them into his full head of hair, then gripped the strands tighter as she pulled her lips away from his.

Kylo groaned in frustration, only to have it morph into a moan of pleasure as she ran her teeth along his neck. The angle was odd, but she was making it work by curling her body over his and using her legs as leverage.

Rey was so distracted that she only noticed that Kylo had moved one of his hands from her legs when he skimmed it up her side and cupped her breast.

She gasped, throwing her head back from his neck and arching her body into his touch. His thumb ran over her breast and, even through her tunic, was able to find her nipple and bring it to a peak with a single swipe.

Rey had _never_ felt anything like it before.

"Oh _stars_ , Kylo…" she groaned as he palmed her whole breast with his large hand. He dragged his hand across until he caught her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, twisting it lightly in a way that sent a thrill down towards her core even as she felt him move his lips towards her neck to –

Suddenly, Rey was standing on her own two feet, feeling cold as Kylo distanced himself from her with a loud groan. She was confused. Everything had felt _so_ nice – didn't he want this as well? "What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

" _Kriff_ ," came his voice somewhere to her left. He reached out and grabbed her hand again, drawing her to him. He hugged her closely, though not as closely as before – and much more innocently; comfortingly. "I could feel you…" he whispered against her temple. "I could feel through your mind how _wet_ I was making you. We needed to stop before I… you can't walk into _there_ like that. Kriff, _I_ can't walk in there with how hard you made me, at that."

Rey blushed at that. She had felt herself becoming wet – had felt him becoming hard against her – but she had thought no further than that. To be so irresponsible as to forget what lay ahead…?

Rey was ashamed.

But she was also thoroughly turned on, and Kylo was right: it was _definitely_ not a state she wanted to be in when meeting with the… with _Snoke_ for the first time.

Suddenly she laughed, feeling the remainder of her tension – sexual and otherwise – drain from her body and mind.

"What?" Kylo grunted, sounding a little put out.

"At least I'll be somewhat relaxed going in to meet him, now," she giggled, preferring to find humor in the situation.

Soon enough, Kylo was shaking with – albeit suppressed – laughter against her as well. "Damn it, if I hadn't stopped… it would have been the first – and _last_ – time that I'd have missed a summons from Snoke."

Rey stopped laughing abruptly, and shivered.

Kylo's sense of humor was… it could use some work.

* * *

"So, this is the scavenger girl."

Rey knew the role she needed to play. She may not trust or wish to follow Snoke specifically, but she trusted and would follow Hux and Kylo. To do so, she needed to ensure her safety – and theirs – from the man who loomed over her, his Force presence somehow projecting into the room and filling every void and crack in Rey's mind… some she didn't even know she'd had until that moment.

There was something so _pervasive_ about this man, and all Rey wished to do was shudder at the chill feel of his presence surrounding her.

But, to ensure everyone's safety, there was a specific role she needed to play. She didn't need to be perfect, but she needed to be on guard. She had no time – or space inside of her mind – to dwell on how Snoke made her squirm in disgust and fear; how she wished she could run and hide; how she wished she could spit in his face; or better yet… destroy another one of his weapons with a bag of bombs and a few X-Wings.

No… there was no time for that, and Rey chided herself for even letting the thoughts cross her mind. She blanked out her thoughts, and focused instead on the man above her, as well as her surroundings.

He was monstrous and _huge_. Rey knew that much of that was as a result of the hologram, but the man was still intimidating in his size, the blue light and scars covering his features only adding to the overall effect.

Rey dropped to one knee, placing both of her hands on her raised knee and bowing her head over her clenched hands. "Yes, Supreme Leader, I am the scavenger girl," she responded. She kept her voice strong and proud, refusing to cow any more than was necessary to the man.

"I did not give you leave to speak, child," he responded. Yet his voice did not sound affronted – more… amused. "But you have time to learn your manners. I am sure your Master has been busy teaching you many things, yes? You may respond."

Keeping her eyes downcast, she replied. "Many things, Supreme Leader. He has been a good Master. Strong and competent. He has been teaching me the ways of the Force, though my weapons training has mainly come from Asha and Ja'al Ren with the other trainees. Much else I have been learning from texts, and waiting to apply it at the appropriate time."

"You are competent with a lightsaber, yes?" he drawled, as if he knew the answer to his question already. Rey caught Kylo's feet shifting out of the corner of her eye as he stood beside her.

"Yes, Supreme Leader," she answered. I… I was competent to start with, and… Master expressed his pleasure with my skills with a saber during the attack on D'Qar." Her voice stuttered slightly on the name of the Resistance's former base, thoughts flooding her mind before she was able to shove them back.

She hoped, fervently, that he would not wish to go into detail on that topic.

"Ah, yes, D'Qar…" he almost sighed the name. "You were a great asset to us there. Yet… it has been made obvious to me that your loyalty lies less with the First Order –" Rey nearly protested, though she did snap her eyes up to meet the hologram's smirking ones, gulping to tamp down the urge to speak, "– and more with Kylo Ren and the General."

He was silent a moment, and Rey squirmed beneath his gaze. She had no idea what to say to that. It was _true_ , but what did he want to hear? What should she say to regain control of the –

"It's of no consequence," he finally said, waving his hand dismissively. "That will come in time. As long as you are tied to us in one form or another, is that correct, Kylo Ren?"

Kylo's voice was cool and still as he responded to Snoke, his helmet held under his arm. "Yes, Master. That is correct."

"I suppose," Snoke continued with a drawl that chilled her blood, "That I cannot truly hold you responsible for what occurred to my _Starkiller_ , can I? We can never truly know what forces will manipulate us in the foolishness of our youth, and you were practically compelled into your acts of rebellion against us. I believe, though, that your aid on D'Qar truly made up for it – without you, we would not have had the knowledge to take the base as easily as we did. And now, the Resistance is on the run even more than before."

He sat back in his throne-like chair as the two smaller forms before him – one standing, one kneeling – remained still. "You may rise, child," he said, as if it were a favor.

"Thank you," Rey murmured as she rose. She stood with her feet spread shoulder-width apart, as if expecting a fight, though her hands were held clasped behind her back.

Rey suddenly staggered a step back – perhaps her expectation of fight was not as off-the-mark as she'd originally supposed – as Snoke skimmed through the top layers of her mind. Kylo had warned her about the device – whatever, wherever it was – that augmented Snoke's Force powers into the audience chamber. She'd been curious at first; wanting to find it and dismantle it to figure out how it worked. Yet even with Kylo's forewarning, it still hadn't quite prepared her for _this_.

Images flashed past Rey's mind – kisses and hugs with Hux and Kylo, training sessions with the other trainees, the loneliness of the Jakku dessert, her first kill at the age of twelve, the knowledge of her _parents being alive_ –

"Kylo Ren!" snarled Snoke, wrenching himself from Rey's mind. She staggered back a step, but did not fall. One of her hands lifted halfway to her forehead before she brought it back down, slowly, staring in horror as Kylo cried out and fell to both knees. His forehead hit the floor, though he was able to catch most of his fall with his elbows. His mask clattered as it rolled away from him, making an awful noise that thankfully quickly stopped.

 _Stars_ , she'd tried so hard to keep that moment of joy from her mind for this audience – in fact, she'd been trying desperately to keep it off her mind until she had a moment alone to think through it all properly.

"You were supposed to _deal with_ her family – not _tell_ her about it!" Snoke snarled as Kylo writhed below him, struggling for air.

Kylo was… he was supposed to 'deal with' her parents? What did…?

 _Oh._ Suddenly it dawned on her, and Rey was filled with anger.

Anger at Snoke, for wishing her parents _dead_ , anger at Kylo, for not _telling her_ , anger at Hux, for also not telling her – for surely he _knew_ …

Rey felt herself being consumed by her anger at the unfairness of it all – how _dare_ they try to take away her chance at knowing her family, after all these years? How _dare_ they –?

"Ah, First Knight, I see why you chose her as your personal Apprentice… she has such a _delicious_ well of fury within her. Did she not know that you were tasked with killing her parents? Why did you even tell her about them, you foolish boy?"

"It was –" Kylo started to gasp out a reply, but Rey cut him off, taking a calculated risk with the limited knowledge she had at her disposal. She relied on her gut instincts to guide her through her next steps – the knowledge that Hux and Kylo cared _deeply_ for her was not a question for her; not anymore – and even opened herself slightly to the Force around her. It was Dark, but not unfamiliar, and she let it flow through her as she chose her next words carefully.

She took the rage that she was righteously feeling towards Snoke – though the anger towards Kylo and Hux was diminishing as she began to figure they had had no choice but to agree to the demands of this mad man – and spun it, twisting it so that all Snoke could feel was her pulsating anger.

"Supreme Leader," she interjected, refusing to wince when his gaze settled sharply on hers. "My Master and the General were under the impression that I would wish to know about my origins. They felt the rage inside me when I spoke of being _abandoned_ on Jakku."

She felt him brush against her mind, the feeling that of fingers dragging through sand as he felt her rage with his own mind. "Yes, I know now that it was by the scum Luke Skywalker, but for my parents to have not _looked for me_ ; to have not _found me_ , after so many years… to have gone on with their lives as if nothing had changed for them? They as good as _left me_ there, Supreme Leader. I know that now."

She looked down at Kylo then, not needing to fake the tenderness that filled her gaze before hardening it once again as she snapped her head up to look at Snoke. "They knew, even before I did, that I would wish to play a role in avenging my own lost childhood – that I would wish to enact vengeance upon my own flesh and blood, with my own hands. They _wronged me_ , Supreme Leader. The General and my Master simply wished to gain more of my confidence – I beg you not to punish them for their choice.

"It was the right one to make," she finished.

"I will be the judge of that," Snoke snapped, though Rey could tell that it was only half-hearted. She felt him withdraw from her mind, and Kylo's form relaxed where it lay on the floor. Rey could feel the presence of the Force lessen around them.

"You have my permission to carry on with said plans, Lady Rey," he stated magnanimously, as if he were granting her a favor. "You have pleased me, today. I was curious about you before, but now I am satisfied. When I call for you in the future, you will make yourself available at a moment's notice. Until then, serve me – and serve your Master – well."

"Yes, Supreme Leader," was all Rey could get out before the hologram winked out. The room was once more bathed only in the single spotlight shining down on the platform where Rey stood.

Kylo had pulled himself into a kneeling position, shaking slightly as he looked up at Rey with slightly widened eyes. "Rey, I –"

' _Not here,'_ she cut him off mentally. _'I… you don't need to apologize. I know there's not much you can do when he orders you to do something, but – you fucking_ owe _me._ '

* * *

 **Note: Because I am in pain and want happiness, you get a surprise update, right after the previous one! Also, there is beautiful art of Savat Ren which I will reblog with the tag 'savat ren' on my tumblr, which is 'juuls'. Art by the lovely panda-cappuccino! *heart***

 **Since I haven't really plugged my previous fics as a whole since I got hacked - since returning from that - I will do so now!**

 **I'd start a war for you** \- Reylo baby fic, with flashbacks and spy!Kylo  
 **If only we could change fate** \- Finnreylo soulmate - VERY dark.  
 **Delicious Ambiguity** \- Reylo Force-baby fic. Complete.  
 **Mitzvah** \- Reylo arranged marriage in-verse canon fic.  
 **Shadowed** \- oneshot, post-war, Rey wants kids but Kylo is scared.  
 **Behind Closed Doors** \- Star Wars drabble/ficlet collection.  
 **Captive Soul** \- Reylux soulmate  
 **Mesmerizing** \- Reylux 6 years later  
 **Be my guide** \- Reylux ficlet  
 **Gradations** \- Reylo, Kylo gets cast out of the First Order  
 **Paths** \- oneshot for Rogue One - Mon Mothma and Krennic

 **Aaaaaaaand an upcoming dark!Rey x Hux (Reyux) short fic. So excited for that one!**

 **Just click on my username link, and they're all there! :)**


	18. Rampant

**Note: I see every review, favorite, follow... don't worry! I'm not trying to be rude, I've just had a very busy week or two, filled with my diagnosis, lots of appointments and people to call and follow up on, never mind being a normal human being who is a wife and needs to spend time with her husband. Love y'all. I'll be replying ASAP! xoxo**

* * *

"She knows."

Hux stared at his commlink and then raised one eyebrow. He knew that the First Knight could not see the action, but it felt like a completely valid reaction to the other man's predilection for the overdramatic.

General Hux was sitting at his desk in the office he maintained off of the bridge, his screens displaying multiple star charts, graphs and reports. Kylo had interrupted him as he was trying to accomplish some work before turning in for the night.

Or rather, he admitted to himself, he had been trying to distract himself from the lack of news from either Kylo or Rey on the results of their audience with Snoke.

It had been hours – and now here Kylo was, being theatrical and ambiguous.

Obviously he'd taken too long to respond, as Kylo was speaking again. "I don't need the Force to imagine the look you're giving me right now, General," he grumbled.

"Good. You've left me hanging for hours, not knowing what happened."

"Well I'm telling you now – or do you not want to hear it?" Kylo's voice had morphed into a growl.

Hux pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled slowly. As much as he might have been gaining affection for the Knight… he was still kriffing _annoying_ at times. "Yes, fine, whatever. You're forgiven, not that you asked for it. It's not like… it's not like…"

He couldn't very well say he _cared_ over the commlink, secure as it might be. He couldn't say that he'd been worrying, and had finally locked himself in his office so as not to let on to his subordinates how much the lack of update had been affecting him. He prided himself on his appearance, reputation, and meticulousness in front of others, and had removed himself before he could come undone. He had felt himself unraveling, and hadn't been able to stop it. It was an entirely new feeling, and although it came as a result of some marvelous changes in his life… it wasn't one he was entirely comfortable with. He'd always prided himself on his control and aloofness.

"I understand," Kylo murmured, his voice softening.

And Hux was sure that he very well _did_ understand.

"Good," he said as he closed his eyes, relaxing infinitesimally. "Now tell me… _what_ does she know?" He was sure that Kylo was talking about Rey, and his next words confirmed it.

"About what the Supreme Leader ordered about her parents," Kylo said as unemotionally as he could.

"Ah," Hux breathed, his eyes still closed. He paused a moment as he mulled over how best to respond. "Well. I'm sure she was upset, to say the least?"

"That's putting it lightly."

Hux let out a little huff of laughter at Kylo's wry tone. "You owe her."

"I am well aware of that. She told me as much before she stomped off. But technically, _we_ owe her. You didn't say anything either."

Hux's eyes popped open at that. "Why must you always be right?"

"It's in my nature," Kylo said airily.

Hux glowered at the screen but chose to ignore the nuisance that Kylo was making of himself – likely on purpose. "Did she handle herself well?"

"You should have _seen_ it." Kylo's tone immediately changed, and Hux didn't need to hear him speak it to hear the admiration and… _fondness_ … in the other man's voice. "She was… she certainly didn't need my help. I… I can tell you more later."

Hux knew what that meant, and nodded. Realizing belatedly that Kylo could not see the affirmation, he spoke it aloud. "Alright." He paused a moment, and then spoke quickly before Kylo could say something else. "You know you need to tell her about the test results now, right?"

"Yes," came Kylo's simple answer. "I do."

"Good," Hux replied. "Good."

They were both quiet a moment, finally having relaxed enough to simply enjoy the silence. They had moments like these together over the years, shared over drinks or while sparring, but there had never before been an undertone of affection to it.

Now… there was.

And it made it all the more enjoyable.

Hux found his eyes settling closed again, a slight smile forming on his lips.

Finally, Kylo broke the silence after a couple of minutes. His voice was soft, as if he knew the atmosphere he was intruding on was one of peace. The man could be remarkably aware of moments like that, for all that his demeanor suggested otherwise, Hux thought offhandedly.

"There's shore leave scheduled for two days starting the day after tomorrow, correct?" Kylo asked.

Hux straightened, reaching for his monitors to pull up the itinerary file. "One moment."

Kylo very rarely expressed interest in shore leave – in fact, he never had. He'd always remained on board the ship during the scheduled days off in which the _Finalizer's_ crew rotated in shifts onto a chosen planet every six weeks or so. Hux didn't mention any of this, however, intrigued with where the man was going with his question.

"Yes," Hux replied after finding the correct place in the file. "There's an uninhabited planet that we'll be coming up on tomorrow in our patrol. My officer suggested it, even though it was slightly ahead of schedule, as they weren't sure when we'd next have the opportunity. I granted permission."

He settled back to wait for Kylo to let on what he was thinking. In the past, he often hadn't done that, but Hux knew that he would this time… Things had changed.

"I've sensed, in Rey's mind, that she has been… unhappy on the Finalizer," Kylo stated.

After he didn't continue to elaborate, Hux asked, "What do you mean?"

"She comes from a desert planet where she lived and breathed the outdoors, such as they were, all by herself, General," Kylo replied dryly. "What do you think it would do to a soul like hers to be locked aboard a ship like this, with all of these people around, and no easy way to feel the breeze of the outdoors upon your skin?"

Hux blinked. He hadn't even thought of that. He'd grown so accustomed to the _Finalizer_ , to living within its cavernous space, to letting the lack of sunlight whiten his already-pale skin, that he hadn't even imagined what it would do to someone… to someone as fierce and independent and _vivacious_ as Rey was.

"You saw this with the Force?" he asked, trying not to let on that he felt like an idiot for not having noticed anything wrong like that with Rey.

Kylo, however, was observant as always. "Yes. But do not beat yourself up too harshly… Hux. She hid it easily from me as well. I only noticed the feeling in passing just today." He paused again, and then continued in a new tone. "I'd like to take her down to the planet for both days."

"That will go a ways towards making up for not telling her about… her parents," Hux said.

"Yes. And I plan to tell her about those test results there as well. Perhaps I will be more easily forgiven if she feels less… trapped."

"You don't need my permission to take your Apprentice to the surface on shore leave," Hux replied, attempting to mask the flare of jealousy that rose up at the thought of the two of them, alone together, for a night and two days. Yet he refused to mention it. He would not sink so low as to show how desperately he wished he could join them.

A lot could happen in two days.

A lot could happen… and he wouldn't be there.

"… Hux."

He snapped out of it, realizing that Kylo was trying to get his attention, and had been for a few seconds by the sound of things. "What?" He couldn't help the note of irritation in his voice.

"Hux," Kylo repeated, his voice sounding fond. Hux doubted anyone else would have noticed… but _he_ did. He had grown to know the Knight increasingly well over the years. And now… He flushed at the thought of their shared kisses, pleased that no one was there to see them.

"Would you care to join us?" Kylo practically whispered.

Hux felt blood rushing straight downwards at the other man's tone of voice and implication. He was _sure_ that if anyone had been listening, they would know exactly what was going on.

Oddly enough, at that moment, he didn't give a damn. Kylo had… he had asked him to _join_ him and Rey on shore leave. For two days and a _night_. Yes… intellectually he'd heard Kylo speak about wanting to have a relationship with both Hux and Rey, and they had been progressing towards it, seemingly naturally, already… but emotionally, Hux had still been completely unsure about the whole thing. Yet… here Kylo was, affirming that step towards something _more_ between the three of them – expressing his willingness to share… In fact, his _desire_ to do so.

"I…" He cleared his throat, and he thought he heard the other man chuckle softly; knowingly. "I'll have to look at my schedule. But… yes, I would. I think it can be arranged." He tried to keep his voice away from the spectrum of desperation, and wasn't quite sure he was succeeding.

He'd never felt more out of _control_ before.

"Good," Kylo hummed happily, sounding smug and satisfied as well. "Drinks tomorrow in the Lounge, as per usual?"

He cut off the connection before Hux could reply.

Hux groaned, dropping his head into his hands. He stared at the bulge in his pants – the one that had been put there simply by the _thought_ of sharing shore leave with Kylo and Rey – and then groaned again as he reached down.

There was no way he could walk through the bridge like this, and there was no way it was going away on its own. Not with the sound of Kylo's voice replaying over and over in his mind.

* * *

Rey hadn't seen Kylo since the audience with Snoke the previous afternoon, and hadn't seen Hux since yesterday morning.

Part of her didn't want to. She was still rather upset at Kylo – _and_ at Hux – for keeping it a secret what Snoke had wanted done to her parents.

Kylo had kept away from her that morning at her request, and instead she had spent it and the rest of the day completely lost in physical training.

She was amazed she'd slept at all the night before, with everything that had happened, but she supposed that mental exhaustion was certainly a rather fine sleep aid. She had collapsed on her bed shortly after returning to her room before dinner, and had slept through the night – thankfully the night had been entirely dreamless.

She'd woken early, skipped breakfast, and then gone straight to the Knights' training rooms where she'd challenged trainee after trainee to a sparring match. She had emptied her mind, focusing only on technique and the joy and adrenaline of physical exertion.

At one point, late in the afternoon, she'd found the sword she'd been using for that sparring match hovering right over the carotid on Sarai's neck. Both of them had been breathing heavily, though Sarai was looking at Rey with wide, scared eyes.

"Lady Rey?" the teenager had asked. "Is everything alright?"

It had taken Rey a moment to speak – she had barely strung together a sentence at a time all day. "I'm alright, yeah. Just… preoccupied."

With that, she'd whirled around and had made her way to the shooting range. She needed to get better with her accuracy.

It was hours later, and Rey had finally come back to reality fully as her stomach had gnawed against her insides with a jarring _hunger_ that she hadn't felt since Jakku. She looked down in surprise. It was so _odd_ that the feeling of hunger – a feeling that had been as natural to her as breathing – was something that was now unusual. So odd, in fact, that Rey crashed right out of her fugue and back into herself.

Her mind was running faster than ever as she picked up some easily-carried food from one of the myriad service stations throughout the ship, making her way through the halls to the Knight's Lounge without even realizing where she was going.

She wasn't even sure what time it was. She glanced at a chronometer as she passed it, and was startled to see that it was nearing 21:00 – no _wonder_ her body felt heavily used and abused. She would surely pay for her carelessness, unless she was completely lucky.

As she finally found herself in front of the doors to the Lounge, Rey realized that her body and mind had been unconsciously seeking out Kylo and Hux. It seemed that, for all she was still mad at them for not telling her the entirety of the truth, her subconscious had decided to forgive them.

Rey had seen Snoke with her own two eyes. She understood.

For all that she'd heard things about him over the past few months – rumors and facts both bad and good, coming from the Resistance as well as from the First Order – it was one thing to hear those things said… and another thing _entirely_ to see those facts and rumors coalesce in front of her eyes in the form of the person in question.

Rey _definitely_ understood why the men had agreed to have her parents killed. She _knew_ with everything she was that they would not, and never were going to, follow through with those orders. Not now that they… _cared_ for each other like they did.

But they couldn't very well have told the Supreme Leader 'no' when he'd ordered it.

They'd be dead, if they had.

Rey was suddenly, immensely, grateful that they had told Snoke 'yes'.

But… they still needed to talk about the place for lies in a relationship. Actually, they hadn't even spoken about a relationship.

Rey was suddenly confused again, and she reached forward to open the door to the Lounge, desperately seeking a distraction from her new train of thoughts.

And distraction, she found.

"You!" A voice snarled from her right.

She wasn't even a foot in the door before she was shoved to the side and into the wall by a very angry looking Ja'al Ren. Rey could have easily broken the man's hold on her, but she chose instead to let the man think he'd gained the upper hand.

She'd learned from observing the General that sometimes it was just better to let your enemy underestimate you. And that was exactly what Ja'al was doing, she could sense. The Twi'lek did not even realize that Rey had grown in strength to the point that she could likely hold her own against him now – and perhaps even best him if she employed craftier means.

For now, however, she waited to see what he would say.

As did the rest of the Lounge.

Rey could sense through the Force, and see out of her peripherals, that practically the entire contingent of the _Finalizer's_ Knights and trainees were in the Lounge this evening. Asha, Rey could sense, was in the far corner by the fireplace, though she had yet to make a move to interfere. Yet there was no Hux or Kylo in the Lounge.

Which was very likely why Ja'al felt that he could manhandle her in this fashion.

Rey held herself still, breathing steadily, and looked up into the Twi'lek's red-skinned face as she responded evenly. "Yes, 'me'. What is it, Ja'al?" The lack of her using his title should have tipped Ja'al off to the danger of the situation. Rey was no longer afraid of him – which should have made _him_ afraid of her.

Ja'al shoved one forearm against her throat, pushing her higher up the wall to the point where Rey felt she might not be able to breathe for very much longer. Yet, she still remained where she was as the male snarled at her. "You – a lowly _scavenger_ – were deemed important enough to be granted an audience with the Supreme Leader? What the _fuck_ makes you so special, huh? I don't see anything special about you."

"Oh, I think there's something very special about her," drawled Kylo Ren's voice. He had obviously just removed his mask as he stepped inside the door – Rey hadn't even been aware he was there, and, it seemed, neither had Ja'al – as he was shaking his curls back from his forehead.

As he moved inside, the smaller – but no less intimidating – form of the General followed close behind him. He glared at every last Knight and trainee within the room, whereas Kylo's focus was directed entirely upon where Ja'al was frozen with Rey against the wall.

Ja'al should have done the smart thing. He should have kept his mouth shut.

Instead, he opened it, turning towards the Master of the Knights of Ren and allowing Rey to drop down and edge away from where the two were now standing toe to toe. She made her way around them to stand beside General Hux. She gave him a slight, thin-lipped smile in greeting, and then turned around to stare with him at the sight before them.

"Of course you do; that's because you're fucking her," Ja'al spat. Kylo only stared at the male Knight, letting him dig himself a deeper hole. "You and the General both would do anything for her now that she's had her sweet little lips around your dicks, wouldn't you? So, of course, when she wants to see the Supreme Leader, you immediately grant her wish. She's probably playing you both, you imbeciles. You better watch your back."

Kylo started to quiver in rage, though still he did not speak. Rey could only see half of his face, but the little she could see was as calm as ever before. Rey had never seen him like that… so angry that he could not even express it.

It was… _scary_.

Rey had nearly forgotten about the man at her side, but her eyes flickered towards him as he spoke up into the cavernous silence. "Please don't leave a mess when you're done, Ren. My Stormtroopers do so dislike cleaning up blood and guts. It stains the floors." The calm of his voice was deadly – it spoke volumes as to the rage he was experiencing deep down inside of him, much like Kylo seemed to be feeling.

The mere fact that he had spoken at _all_ in a situation like this told her that he was deeply affronted on Rey's behalf, and wished to tear the Twi'lek to pieces himself, as he had suggested Kylo was about to do.

Rey herself had no idea what to feel. She'd never quite heard anyone speak words like Ja'al had spoken, let alone to _her_ of all people. She didn't know if she should feel angry or hurt… or if she should simply _laugh_ at the absurdity of it all. What she _did_ know, however, was that the idea of her two men willing to defend her name and honor with bloodshed and killing sent a dark, malicious, _arousing_ thrill coursing through her body, and she felt a small smile curl across her lips.

Kylo took a step towards Ja'al, but the Twi'lek held his ground and didn't move an inch. Rey was actually rather impressed – if she had been in his place, she wasn't sure if she wouldn't have already turned and ran. There was a reason the man held the position he did, however, Rey reminded herself.

As it stood, however, it did not appear as if he would be holding the position for much longer – not with the way Kylo and Hux were glaring at him tonight, as if they wished to kill him on the spot.

Kylo stared at Ja'al, still completely silent. Yet as he stared, his eyes roaming the other Knight's features, his expression morphed from one of calm, deadly rage, to an expression of pure malice. "You did it, didn't you?" he hissed. He didn't even try to keep his voice down; he was completely unaware of those surrounding him. "You're the one who poisoned Rey!"

With that, Kylo gripped the other male's throat with his leather glove and shoved him against the wall until his feet dangled off of the ground. He may have been using the Force to assist him, but it was entirely possible that he was functioning on pure rage, adrenaline, and strength at that moment.

Rey wasn't sure who was more surprised – her or Ja'al.

The expression of shock on his face was quickly replaced by panic as he struggled to breathe. Rey could tell that he was still able to – just enough to survive for the foreseeable future – and so she turned her attention towards Kylo as Ja'al sputtered beneath his grip, not able to speak.

' _Poisoned?'_ she spoke into his mind. _'What do you mean, I was poisoned?'_ Before he could reply, she continued. _'I was poisoned – no wonder I was so ill! And you didn't even tell me? For kriff's sake, Kylo. First the thing about my parents, and now_ this. _You may be my Master, but I thought that… I thought that there was_ more _between us. Something more that would lead to you actually being honest with me.'_

Kylo finally was able to get a word in edge-wise, though he didn't turn towards her, and his expression was frozen in a snarl up close against Ja'al's face. _'I'm sorry._ '

That brought Rey up short, and she struggled to keep the expression of disbelief off of her face.

Kylo Ren was _apologizing_?

' _I was going to tell you tomorrow,'_ he continued as he sent waves of remorse at her through the Force.

' _But you weren't going to, originally,'_ Rey correctly guessed.

' _No,'_ he admitted. _'No, I wasn't. But… Rey, can we please talk about this after? Tonight, even. I promise I was going to tell you.'_

Rey could sense that he was absolutely sincere in his apology. That, and the large group of people surrounding them, had Rey conceding. _'Okay. But we are definitely talking about this.'_

Hux shot her a look which she noticed out of the corner of her eye, but she ignored him. Now was not the time to explain what had occurred, though she knew he could sense that something had transpired between her and Kylo.

Kylo returned his attention to Ja'al, loosening his grip on his throat just enough to return the Twi'lek's feet to the ground. "Well?" he growled.

"No!" Ja'al gasped out, blood returning to his brain.

"I don't believe you," Kylo ground out.

Suddenly, he was in Ja'al's mind. Rey knew. Rey knew the expression on the male's face by heart – at least it was exactly how she'd pictured her own face contorting when Kylo had forced himself into her head so many months ago. But she could also feel it. Not through the Force. Not… externally, at least. It was as if she could _feel_ Kylo filtering through Ja'al's mind – as if she were the one doing it – though she couldn't see anything specific.

Kylo pulled back, stepping away from Ja'al and finally letting him go entirely. His expression was murderous, though filled with frustration. Obviously he hadn't found what he'd wanted. "Fine!" he snapped out as he took two steps backwards. He then turned in a slow circle, looking at every single person standing in the room. "If it wasn't you, then who was it? _Who?_ " he thundered.

Ja'al, still struggling for breath, squared his shoulders and spoke up again – as if he couldn't help but to prod the monster. "I don't know who, but I hope they succeed. Ever since you brought in that fucking _cunt_ , everything's been changing. It's pathetic to see you so distracted by such a little _slut._ "

The First Knight stilled, and then slowly turned on the Twi'lek. "What did you say?" he hissed, his face contorting into a vicious snarl. He reached his hand down, unclipped his lightsaber from his belt, and thumbed it on. The crackle and hiss of the lightsaber filled the fearful silence in the room, and bathed everyone in a terrible red light.

"You heard me," Ja'al panted.

Rey, suddenly fearful for what could occur, and no longer wanting to see any bloodshed – not on her behalf at least – took three large, quick steps forward and placed a hand on top of Kylo's where he gripped his lightsaber. She didn't wish to undermine him in front of his Knights, but perhaps there was a way to get him to listen without sounding as if she were controlling him.

"Master," she said.

He froze.

She waited a moment to see what he would do, yet kept her hand where it was. She didn't have to wait long. It seemed as if she wouldn't have to risk undermining him at all. He was already taking charge of the situation – as much as he could in his state. She could _feel_ the turmoil and rage and pain and _fury_ roiling off of him through the Force. It was all she could do to not be swept up in the tide herself.

"Get _out_!" Kylo screamed, spittle flying from his lips.

No one needed to be told twice. Within moments, the room was emptied of everyone except her, Hux, and Kylo.

The redhead slowly stepped forward and grabbed her other hand in an attempt to pull her away from her Master. She was sure that Hux feared for her – perhaps not for her safety… she was sure that he knew that Kylo wouldn't hurt her. Perhaps he just didn't want her to witness Kylo flying into one of the rages she'd only ever _heard_ of.

Instead, Rey took another step forward, pulled her hand from Hux, and placed it on top of her other hand where it still lay on top of Kylo's on the hilt of his activated lightsaber.

Suddenly, the lightsaber was flicked off, dropped to the ground, and Rey was shoved high against the wall as Kylo's lips slanted across hers. He reached down and forcibly wrapped Rey's legs around his hips, then plunged his tongue into her mouth at the same time as he thrust himself _hard_ against that sweet spot between Rey's thighs.

Rey was swept away with Kylo as he turned his rage into another form of passion – lust. She felt every nuance of his emotions as she reached her mind out towards his instinctively, and was immediately addicted to the heady sensation that he was pushing across their connection. She wasn't even sure he was aware of what he was doing.

Rey wasn't even sure _she_ was aware of what she was doing.

She had devolved into a knot of _need_ and _want_ and _arousal_ so thick and tangled that she was sure she would never get it untangled. All she wanted to do was succumb to the feeling of his lips on hers, his hands on her breasts, and his hard length thrusting against her in a rhythm that was driving her _wild_.

She'd never felt anything like it before; had never felt a man rub against that _private_ spot in a way that made her wish to forego the use of her fingers for all time; had never had a man try to consume her in such a way that she _wished_ to be consumed…

This was what yesterday could have been – the thought drifted across her mind, only to be immediately swept up and away as Kylo dropped one hand from her breast and back to her hip. He hoisted her higher and trailed his lips down her neck and chest. He was still grinding into her, though not nearly as pleasurably or as hard as he had been moments before.

Rey whimpered, trying to push herself back down on him to find that pleasurable rubbing motion all over again. Kylo huffed out a laugh against her chest – it was her only warning before he took her nipple in his mouth, wetting and nibbling at it through the layers of cloth covering her breast.

Rey gasped and then _whined_ , her head cracking back to hit against the wall, though she barely noticed. All she could do was close her eyes, grip his hair _tightly_ with both hands, and focus on the sensation of his mouth on her nipple, which was inciting nerve endings to light on fire and trail directly from her breast to her core. She could feel herself becoming even slicker, her underwear gliding against her wetly as he continued to push his hips against hers.

Rey struggled to open her eyes, and was immediately rewarded – over the top of Kylo's thick head of black hair – with the sight of Hux looking just as _undone_ as she was sure she and Kylo looked. His lips were parted and his eyes were glazed with arousal, but when he caught her eye he shook himself and then tilted his head. The question was evident in his eyes – did he need her to step in and stop Kylo? Was he going too far?

' _No,'_ Rey spoke directly into his mind for the first time. She was startled at the intimacy of the connection, since she could vaguely feel the arousal that Hux was feeling as his eyes widened and glazed over once again. He didn't seem disturbed by the light touch of her mind against his, and so Rey didn't pull away. In fact, the direct connection nearly unhinged her as she was suddenly feeling the arousal of three different people – her own, Hux's, and Kylo's.

Kylo was slowing down his movements against her body, his passion settling into something more languid as he calmed down as he pleasured Rey. Yet Rey could sense his curiosity at where her mind had gone – suddenly he was sharing what she was seeing: Hux and his reaction to the sight in front of him – of which Rey felt an _immense_ flare of arousal from Kylo at – but also _where_ they were.

He tore his mouth off of her breast and very nearly shoved himself away from her, but at the last moment he decided against it and set her gently to her feet.

Before she could say or do anything, Kylo called both his lightsaber and mask to his hands, and fled the room. Rey could sense a flood of embarrassment and _rage_ at his lack of control, as well as self-hatred that he had treated her like that in a common room where just about _anyone_ could walk in and catch them. And then, she could sense nothing more.

Rey drew in harsh, deep breaths, trying to regain her _own_ sense of control as the connection disappeared. There had been plenty of her feelings that had been caused by Kylo's emotions through the Force – but not nearly as many as she would have presumed.

"Rey?" Hux's voice intruded on her desperate attempt to quell herself with meditation.

She suddenly realized that she was still holding herself right on the edge of his thoughts and she shut herself off from him. That diminished some of the remaining feelings of arousal she was experiencing, though not nearly as much as she'd hoped. She was left with a desperate, aching _need_ between her legs – one she wasn't quite sure on how to fill the way she truly wanted it filled in the current state of affairs between the three of them. "I'm sorry – I didn't mean to intrude on your thoughts. I –"

He held up his hand and interrupted her. "It's alright. I find myself not caring, as it was…" He flashed her a look filled with a desperate desire that matched exactly how she felt at the moment. He didn't need to finish that sentence; she knew exactly what he meant.

"Do you… would you like an escort back to your rooms?" he asked. Suddenly he flushed, realizing exactly how that sounded. "I didn't intend for it to sound like that. I simply –"

Rey let out a breathless laugh and interrupted him, this time. "No, it's okay, I understand what you mean. I… no, I think I am going to sit right down by this fireplace and think by myself for a little while. Thank you, though."

Hux looked as if he wished to say more, but instead he drew himself up and smoothed his clothes and hair until he was satisfied with the results. Finally, he gave her a crisp bow, reminiscent of the earlier days of their acquaintance. "Very well. You know how to get a hold of me if you need to talk through anything. Your Master let you know about tomorrow?"

Rey nodded crisply in return though she had, in fact, forgotten. She still needed to pack a small bag.

"Then I will be seeing you tomorrow," he said, and then flashed her a quick smile before turning on his heel and striding out the doors of the Lounge and down the hall.

Rey stared blankly at the wall, not moving an inch and not thinking about anything in particular. Her head was swimming with thoughts and emotions, but she couldn't grasp onto any of them.

Yet suddenly she knew she needed to talk all of this out with someone. She couldn't speak with Kylo, as he was the one causing the confusion for the most part, and she had just dismissed the other man whom she felt comfortable talking with.

Rey quickly exited the Lounge and ran down the halls before she could doubt her decision.

She must have been leaning against the wall for longer than she'd thought, as the General was just arriving at the doors to his quarters as she raced up. "General," she panted, slightly out of breath.

He turned towards her and simply raised an eyebrow as if to ask her what she needed.

"May we talk?" she asked, flicking her gaze up and down the hall.

He inclined his head in assent and then opened the doors to his quarters, gesturing for her to enter first. He followed behind her, flicking on the lights as the door closed.

"Before you proceed," Hux said from behind her, "I wanted to mention that I made contact with your parents. They would… like to speak with you, whenever you are ready."

Rey's already over-taxed mind nearly shut down at the information. "I… what? That…" That had come out of nowhere, it seemed. She couldn't think on that right now – there was already so much in her mind. "Can we talk about that later? I… that's too much to process."

He made a noise of assent as he moved past her, shucking his uniform jacket as he went. The lithe lines of his trim, muscular body stood out beneath his undershirt, and Rey's already-aroused body flared once more. She clenched her thighs together in an effort to dispel the feeling, though she let out a little whine as it, in fact, made it worse.

Hux whirled on her as she emitted the sound, his gentlemanly air completely dispelled as he stared at her with the same wild expression he had earlier.

But Rey averted her eyes and blurted out what was on her mind instead. "Why was Kylo so… angry? I've heard stories, but had never really… seen them. Not quite like that."

Hux's expression softened, then hardened, then softened again. It couldn't seem to quite settle on what it wanted to do. Instead of answering right away, though, Hux reached out and gently pulled Rey into his arms.

It was a different sort of embrace than the one Kylo had given her earlier – more caring and comforting but filled with just as much passion as Kylo had demonstrated for her. Hux was not trying to consume her, though. He was trying to ease her fears – and his own, she suddenly realized.

Hux was scared for her.

He confirmed it with his next words. "Kylo… when he heard that you had been poisoned… wanted to rampage across the ship and tear into every single person's mind to see who was behind it. Not only would that be impossible due to the sheer number of people aboard, but it is also a highly impractical way of keeping you safe."

"I don't –" Rey tensed, wanting to express that she didn't need protection. She could handle a threat like this _easily_. She could watch out for herself.

Hux squeezed her more tightly and continued, right over top of her protests. "I was – _am_ – scared as well. He and I… we share the same thoughts and feelings in that we don't want to lose you. That fear – and that lack of being able to do anything worthwhile in tracking down whoever is responsible – leaves us _both_ with a feeling of rage that is barely controllable. Obviously I handle it better." Rey could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

Drawing back slightly, Hux bent his head towards her as if to kiss her. Yet he stopped inches from her mouth, and Rey could see a thought float across his normally-controlled features. She was about to reach up to close the distance between their lips when he spoke up, his words soft and his eyes even softer. "What do you feel about Kylo? Do you _care_ for him?"

Rey tensed. She could tell he wasn't asking her if she simply liked Kylo as a Master, or even as a friend. The three of them had been dancing around each other for weeks now, though ever more intensely in the last few days – this question had been _bound_ to come up.

But she wasn't ready. She didn't know how to express that she liked Kylo – liked him _that_ way… but that she also liked and cared for Hux in the same way. She didn't know what to do or say, and her conflicted feelings must have been written clear across her features as next thing she knew, Hux was tilting her head up so that her eyes met his.

"You care for us both, don't you?" he asked gently, compassionately.

Rey flicked her eyes away, desperately embarrassed all of a sudden, and squirmed in his grasp. He was holding her body against his with one hand, his other on her chin, and yet it felt as if she couldn't move an inch even if she used the Force.

"Answer me." His head tilted down to ghost his breath against her lips as he spoke. His voice was authoritative, but also cajoling. It was an odd mixture of the man and the General and Rey couldn't help but respond to it.

"Yes," Rey nearly sobbed. She hadn't wanted to admit it so soon – had wanted to think about it more – but she couldn't lie to him. Not when she'd been so angry with them for holding back with her. "Yes, I do. Is it so wrong?"

He pulled back just enough for her to meet his eyes, filtered through his eyelashes. It in no way diminished the effect of the absolute _desire_ that flared like an ember within their green depths. Rey held her breath, terrified at what he was about to say – though she needn't have worried.

"It's not wrong when all three… _care_ … for each other equally," he said, lips pressed against her cheek so that she could feel the shape of every single word as he spoke them. He dropped his hand from her chin and back around her body, enclosing her within both arms yet again.

Rey let out the breath she'd been holding on a shuddering gasp, her body rocking against his as she released it.

It wasn't _wrong_?

She had been so worried – had felt so _guilty_ for liking both of them. For… _liking_ both of them more than she'd ever thought she'd feel for even one man, at any point in her life. She hadn't wanted to choose between them, and had been working herself up to denying the both of them; at least romantically. She had been sure it would ruin her budding friendship with at least one of them, if not both. To hear that there was a possibility of…

"Wait a moment," Rey spoke up sharply, her mind kicking into overdrive as she pushed on Hux's shoulders until he was holding her at arm's length. She could much more easily see into his face from this distance, and she needed to for the question she was about to ask.

"You care for Kylo as well, don't you? In… _that_ way."

Hux looked as if he wanted to protest, but he immediately thought better of it. From what she could tell of his expression – he was certainly not guarding it like he would with others – the protest had been an instinctual response. She watched as he calmed himself, breathing through his nose in short, sharp bursts.

"Yes," he finally admitted, as if it was the single hardest thing he'd ever had to admit to in his life. Maybe it was. "I never thought I'd say it of _that_ man in particular, but I care for him a _lot_ … in that way."

He pulled her to him and she let him, having seen the truth of his answer in his eyes. She had suspected as much, ever since his injury back on D'Qar, but to have it admitted to, aloud, for her to hear… for her to _know_ … Rey shivered.

She was sure that Kylo felt the same for her and Hux as she and Hux felt for him and each other.

It was… it was a lot to take in. All the thoughts and feelings from the past few days – heck, the past few _weeks_ – came rushing at her. Her brain wanted to analyze every single detail of their time spent together – and the time that Kylo and Hux spent together which her imagination was _gleefully_ filling in the blanks for. Her mind wanted to think on every last interaction and revel in it from her changed perspective – the perspective where she _knew_ that these two men cared for her… and cared for _each other_.

That was the headiest part of it all. She would never wish for them to have to _share_ her, with no affection between the two men, she found herself admitting to herself selfishly. She didn't want to give up one to have the other, either. She wanted _both_. And now the possibility was right within her grasp – she _could_ have both. They could have her, and she could have them, and they could have each other, and _no one_ would get hurt.

Rey pulled back, slowly extricating herself from Hux's arms. She looked him in the eye and reached up with one hand to trail her fingers along his throat. He gulped reflexively, his eyes nearly falling shut. She wanted nothing more than to mold herself against his body in that moment, but she knew that she wanted to wait until Kylo could be there. It just felt… _right_. Even if the feeling singing between her legs and throughout her body protested her restraint, she knew it was the right call.

Now that she knew she didn't need to feel _guilty_ for wanting them both… she let her mind embrace the future with gleeful abandon. She felt more hope for the future than she had in weeks – and practically _never_ before that, even… and all because there were two men who could love her and be loved in return, if everything turned out well.

"Good," she murmured as she withdrew fully, though wistfully. "I'm glad we're on the same page. I… I need to go rest now… Hux. It's been a long day, and we have our shore leave tomorrow, bright and early."

She smiled at him, and he couldn't help but smile back. She felt so happy all of a sudden, and it seemed as if her cheer was infectious.

"I can't wait," he told her, his smile widening.

Rey winked at him and his eyes flared with desire. "Me neither," she said.

She was out the door before her mind could convince her to throw herself back into his arms.

There would be time for that soon. _Very_ soon.

Rey smiled to herself the entire way back to her quarters, reveling in the feeling between her legs; the feeling coursing through all of her nerve endings… and the absolutely _soaring_ feeling that was in her heart and mind.


	19. Entanglement

**Note: No 'I'd start a war for you' this week, I'm sorry everyone. Maybe later in the week if I get inspired or feel better. But as it is, I'm in pain and can't concentrate on much, and my hands keep shaking and twitching so much that it's hard to type or use my mouse properly. I'm taking about double the time to reply to people than normal.** **As it was, I was already super behind on replying to reviews/comments (I am so sorry - I will be getting to all that soon; or at least get started on it. :'/)** **Basically I had my second pain flare in three weeks and my body is not recovering the same as last time. But here, have some already-written fic!**

* * *

The ramp of Kylo's shuttle lowered and Rey stared outside with wide eyes, her heart thudding in her ears.

There was so much _green_. This nameless planet was much like D'Qar and Takodana had been like, in that there was forest and grass and water – she could hear the sound of a rushing river nearby, similar to one she'd seen on D'Qar – but what there hadn't been on those planets had been a _mountain_.

Or what she thought was one. She'd never even seen a picture of a mountain; had only ever heard them vaguely referenced in stories where she'd had to piece together the meaning of the word from the context and description.

It _had_ to be a mountain, though. It was huge; looming over them even from a distance of a few miles, with snow-capped peaks and tendrils of clouds making the peak drift in and out of sight. There were smaller peaks to the sides of the largest one, many of which were rather close to where they'd landed, but the tallest, snowiest one held her rapt attention.

Suddenly realizing she was barely breathing, Rey took in a huge breath of air through her nose, nostrils flaring at the multitude of scents bombarding her senses. She had never smelled the majority, though she did recognize a few by smell from her brief stints on Takodana and D'Qar. There were even fewer she had a name for – cedar, grass, _flowers_.

Closing her eyes, she concentrated on the feeling of the slight breeze gusting over the skin of her face. Though she was grateful to have decided on wearing layers – in the form of a long-sleeved shirt, her tunic, her half-cloak and cowl, and leggings beneath a thicker pair of pants, along with her gloves – due to the chill in the air, she knew that she would, at some point, brave the cold just to feel more of the sun and wind on her skin.

Oh, how she had _missed_ this.

She was down the ramp and had pulled her glove off to feel the peaty earth between her fingers when she heard the clomp of Kylo's boots meeting the metal of the ramp. Following behind were the quieter, but no less self-assured, steps of the General.

Of Hux.

Rey had only caught a brief glimpse of Kylo that morning before he'd pushed past her and locked himself in the cockpit of his shuttle. Rey hadn't even bothered to ask if she could help him with piloting like she'd intended to – she'd known the answer without needing to ask, and had instead turned her glare to Hux, nestled firmly into his seat in the passenger bay with his datapad resting on his knee.

Hux had been able to take the time off, he'd explained, but there were a few reports that needed addressing and his commlink needed to remain active at all times.

Such was the life of responsibility, she supposed.

He'd flashed her a smirk when she'd asked pointedly if his command crew knew where he would be – and who he was going with – and had replied that no, they did not, and no, he would much rather keep his private life _private_ for the moment.

Rey had shut up at that, though instead of finding it insulting that he wanted to keep this… _thing_ … as much of a secret as possible, between them, she found it oddly pleasing that she was included in such a private aspect of his life.

They hadn't spoken another word since.

The first to break the silence was Kylo, who had come to a standstill above where Rey crouched on the ground. She kept her eyes trained on the dirt she continued to rub between her fingers.

"I'm sorry," his deep voice intruded on – but was not unwelcome – the silence and atmosphere of the beautiful scenery.

Rey glanced up at him sharply. Of all the things she'd expected to hear him say, _that_ was not even close to the top of her list. "For what?" she asked suspiciously. She took him in as she slowly got to her feet, wiping her hands off on each other. He had obviously shed his cloak and over-robe since they had left the _Finalizer_ , leaving him in pants, tunic, and long-sleeved shirt. He would have looked relaxed, almost, except for the intensity of his gaze as it settled on her, and the tension lining his jaw and shoulders.

He ground his teeth together and flashed a look at Hux, who had settled into a comfortable stance beside Kylo, doing up the buttons of his greatcoat as he watched the two Force users in front of him with mild curiosity.

Looking back at Rey, he opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again and finally answered her question. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you immediately about the test results." He refused to look away and, though the words were repentant, his tone told her that he did not regret his original decision.

She almost opened her mouth to snap at him, a black cloud of emotion casting itself over her earlier good mood, when suddenly she – and Kylo – felt Hux projecting an emotion outwards towards her as if he deliberately wanted her to feel it.

 _Protectiveness._

Rey slowly turned to face Hux, just as Kylo did the same from directly beside him. Hux looked up from nonchalantly picking at nonexistent lint on the fabric of his greatcoat, though his eyes were sharp as he met Rey's. "Remember what I told you last night?" he asked. "How we both would do anything to protect you; that we don't want to lose you?"

He took a deep breath and flicked his eyes towards Kylo before finding Rey's gaze again. "He's not ever going to be sorry for wanting to protect you. I won't either. But he _is_ sorry for trampling all over your rights and your trust like that… aren't you, Kylo?"

Rey found herself flushing at the memory of their conversation last night and suddenly Kylo was lifting her chin with his gloved fingers, forcing her to direct her gaze from Hux and over to him. "I _am_ sorry for that, yes, Rey," he murmured. "He's right about that. He's _also_ right in that I don't want to lose you. That needs to be said." His voice remained low and quiet, his eyes drilling into hers the sincerity of his words.

She was suddenly as mesmerized by Kylo and his words as she had been by the mountain – both were breathtaking in their own ways. Was he saying…?

Silence descended over them, no one making a move to be the first to speak. "For kriff's sake," muttered Hux, finally, though his tone was filled with as much affection as it was exasperation. "Rey, you need to tell him what you told me last night."

Rey's eyes widened and she jerked her chin out of Kylo's fingers. "What? No!" she protested immediately, not even really thinking on her answer. "Why don't _you_ tell him what you told me, instead?" she shot back.

Hux's cheeks reddened as they both stared at each other. They both knew the words needed to be said, but to do so in front of…

"What do I need to be told?" drawled Kylo, his voice dropping and sounding entirely _too_ predatory. Both she and Hux shivered slightly, though Hux was better able to control his reaction as soon as it had set upon him.

Rey knew she had to tell him how she felt – and that Hux needed to as well. She knew that last night had marked a turning point in her relationship with him and Hux. She knew that this getaway provided the perfect opportunity to do so, away from prying eyes… but at the same time, she had figured she'd have until later before she would bring it up. The relieving of guilt after being reassured by Hux last night had been an amazing sensation, leaving her feeling entirely light and carefree – she had hoped to revel in it all day before wading into the mire and angst of exploring each other's emotions.

Yet she was never one to run away from a challenge. Rey also knew that right now was the perfect opportunity to discuss – or at least profess – her feelings, even if it wasn't exactly what she had wanted. And if she turned away from the topic now, it would hang over her head _all_ day.

It would ruin _everything_.

Well, maybe only a little bit.

Suddenly Rey's throat constricted and she couldn't find the words she wished to – _needed_ to – speak aloud. She looked away from Hux and towards Kylo, and he must have caught her panicked looked because his voice softened when he spoke again. "Rey, what is it?"

Rey darted forward, bridging the bare few feet that separated them, and latched her arms around Kylo's neck as she lifted herself onto her toes. "I… like you," she whispered up into his ear.

Kylo chuckled, warmth exuding from him physically as well as through the Force. "Well, I could figure that out already," he whispered back, his thumbs rubbing over her hipbones. "The way you respond to me…"

"No," Rey interrupted, pulling back slightly, though they were both still caged within each other's arms. She suppressed a shiver, closed her eyes, and then opened them again. "I li… I like you _both_ , and Hux likes you, too," she blurted out finally, feeling as if she were one of those silly children with a silly crush from one of those silly stories she'd gotten her hands on over the years.

Kylo froze.

Rey couldn't even sense anything coming off of him through the Force, though she tried desperately to reach out and touch his mind with hers. It wasn't as if she were batted away, so much as there was just a… _wall_.

Rey pulled herself from his grip after a few moments of him doing absolutely _nothing_ besides staring into the distance. She tried to prod him in the chest a few times with her finger before Hux was gripping one of her hands in his and pulling her away.

He shot her a look of understanding and compassion as he pulled her towards the shuttle to gather all three of their small packs. Handing Rey hers, he spoke quietly, "Give him some time. He feels the same way, I can guarantee you that – Yes, he does," he interjected before the protest could pass her lips. "He just… if there is _one_ thing that I have learned about Kylo Ren over the last near decade of knowing him, it's that he does not handle his emotions well – whatever emotions they might be, good or bad. So… give him a little bit of time. He'll catch up to us."

She and he had walked a dozen or so yards into the tree line before he laughed softly and shot her a bemused glance. "Oh and thanks for telling him how _I_ feel, as well."

Rey blushed completely scarlet at that. "I'm sorry – oh _kriff_ , I'm sorry. I didn't even realize I'd said that until just now. I had no right –"

"It's okay," Hux replied, completely relaxed, continuing to stride forward. "He needed to hear it anyway. And if he wasn't completely blind emotionally, he would have known it already. I think he might have, actually."

Rey nodded absently, struggling to dispel her blush and focus on their surroundings instead. She was still completely captivated by the sights around her – though her thoughts were distracting her, she couldn't help but to be drawn back in again – yet now she was only catching glimpses of the mountain through the thick canopy of trees that they were walking beneath. Remarkably, there was not much brush, though at times Hux held branches aside for her as she passed. She could have done it herself but… it was nice to have someone do something like that for her at times, she found.

"So where are we headed to?" Rey asked after a few minutes of silence.

"There's a cabin up ahead at the base of a cliff, beside the river."

Rey shot him a confused look, though he couldn't see it from his position ahead of her. "I thought you said this planet is uninhabited?"

"It is," he replied calmly, though his voice had suddenly gained a frigid edge to it. "But it once _was_ inhabited. The… Nearly a century ago, the Republic stood by as the Trade Federation forcibly removed the planet's population from the surface, relocating them elsewhere so that they could mine the planet for all of its valuable minerals. When they were done, they left, but no one's returned to settle again. The First Order uses the world for shore leave occasionally, and so a few of the structures – including this one – are kept in decent shape." He fell quiet after that, though his steps were decidedly angrier now.

Rey looked around her with her newfound perspective, staring at the sights with sad eyes. There used to be _people_ here to appreciate the planet's raw beauty, and now there was _no one_. Even on _Jakku_ , a planet of desert nothingness, there had been settlements speckled across the world. She'd thought that she'd never set foot on a planet with less people… but here she was, on a planet where the population had been _forcibly_ removed, and –

"Rey! Hux!"

They both turned around at the sound of Kylo's voice, still behind them a ways. Hux brought himself to stand beside Rey, their elbows brushing as they waited for Kylo to catch up. "I told you so," Hux muttered to her beneath his breath.

Rey smiled nervously in response, though her eyes were tracking Kylo as he wove his way through the trees in a very effortless manner. His body was athletic, powerful, and graceful, and Rey couldn't help but admire his movements. She shot a look at Hux out of the corner of her eye; she wasn't the only one.

Finally, he was standing before them, not even out of breath. Rey lifted an eyebrow at Kylo, realizing only moments later that she was imitating an expression she'd seen on Hux's face many a time. "Yes?" she asked.

He looked as if he were struggling with what he wanted to say and Rey was about to give up and turn around when his hand shot out and caught ahold of her wrist. He drew her to him and then adjusted his arm so that it wrapped around her waist instead. Then his other hand shot out and he pulled Hux forward to meet his lips.

Rey couldn't help the little gasp that left her parted lips. What a _sight_. At that moment, she didn't care one whit about the mountains, or the river, or the woods… there was only Hux and Kylo, standing before her with their mouths locked together tenderly.

After what seemed like far too short of a time, Kylo pulled back, only to lean down and quickly capture Rey's lips.

Before she could respond beyond a brief, muffled moan, Kylo had let go of them both and was stalking forward through the woods again.

Rey let out a shaky breath, bringing her fingers to her lips as she glanced at Hux's own reddened face – she was sure hers wasn't any better. "Kriff, what a dramatic… ugh," she muttered under her breath.

Raising her voice, she called out after Kylo. "Is that… was that an _acceptance_? Of _us?_ "

She knew he'd heard her when she felt warmth surrounding her through the Force. She felt acceptance, protectiveness, caring, and… _happiness._

"That's a yes," she breathed, looking up happily at Hux.

He smiled back at her, and then gestured for her to follow Kylo. He followed shortly behind her.

Suddenly, Hux spoke up, his tone rather dry, "See? Bad with emotions."

Rey couldn't help the snort that escaped her. She could practically _feel_ Hux's smirk plastered to his lips the same way that a smile now was to her own.

* * *

"Rey! What are you _doing_?" She wasn't sure who had called out, but she was pretty sure it was Kylo as she was feeling fear pulse at her in the Force.

She shoved it aside, concentrating instead on the next jump ahead of her on the cliff face. She had already climbed to the top – nearly four hundred yards above the ground – and was now making her way back down. There were a few tricky spots where she needed to swing herself over, using her upper body strength to propel her sideways in a leap powered by momentum.

"Rey!" the person called out again; she could barely hear them.

Rey made the jump, catching the ledge with the tips of the fingers of both sets of hands. She held herself there for a moment as she carefully moved her feet around for the crack she knew was – ah, right _there_.

"Hang on!" she yelled down at the two men she could now make out standing at the base of the cliff. They weren't that far away – she was only about fifty yards from the base of the cliff – but the way the wind was gusting carried their voices in such a way as to make it difficult to hear them.

She let her mind wander as she made her way slowly down the remainder of the cliff; confident in her abilities to make it safely. After growing up scaling slick metal with nothing more than a rope, the rock had proven to be easier than she had even imagined.

She'd only planned to try it out, but had quickly found herself at the top of the cliff, dangling her legs over the edge as the cool wind played with her hair and caressed her flushed cheeks. It had been further than she'd ever climbed before, but it had felt _amazing_ and _exhilarating_. She had cast her gaze over what she could see of the forests surrounding her, and then had spent a long time dwelling on the absolutely _monstrous_ river a ways off – their cabin was beside a branch of the river, obviously, as the river was nearly five times the width where she could see it compared to what she'd seen earlier.

It was _stunning_.

Rey smiled to herself in remembrance of the vision before her eyes. She'd stayed up there for nearly an hour according to her internal clock, before making her way down. The sun had been approaching the horizon, and she'd wanted to give herself plenty of light to climb down in.

They'd had a very… gentle day.

The morning had been spent meandering slowly through the woods until they'd come upon a small waterfall Hux had found in the database for the planet. The men had sat back quietly – as they'd all been most of the morning – on the rocks as Rey had dipped her bare feet into the pool. She had felt their smiles upon her and Rey had felt more content than she had in _years_ , it seemed. Maybe more than she ever had.

The men had asked her if she'd like to swim, but she'd quickly backpedaled, hands raised, and told them "maybe another time."

She wasn't _quite_ ready to get into that much water, she thought with a shiver.

After that, they'd made their way back for a quiet, prepacked lunch, which they ate outside in the sunshine. She'd never seen an odder sight than those two powerful men eating sandwiches and chatting casually and quietly with their rear ends planted firmly on the blanket-covered ground.

Yet it had been a sight that had made Rey's heart _swell_.

There hadn't been the need for words between them, Rey felt. The mostly silent day had not been uncomfortable in the least – in fact, they had been the most comfortable batch of silences Rey had ever experienced.

At times even she had been loath to break the quiet peace.

After lunch, the men had asked if Rey minded if they caught up on some extra-curricular studying for a while, and Rey had even gone back inside and pulled out a novel she'd packed just in case. They'd returned to the blanket and settled into different positions to read. Hux had sat cross-legged with his elbows on his knees, back straight, and Kylo had sprawled out on his back, one forearm draped over his brow.

Rey had tried a few different positions until she'd flopped in between them on her belly, legs in the air. Both men had reached out at nearly the same time to run their fingers across her sides, catching each other's eyes over top of Rey and smiling softly before withdrawing.

None of them had wanted to force anything – it was nice to just… _be_ , for once. None of them felt rushed.

Rey had barely been able to control the surge of amusement she'd felt as she'd watched the men fall asleep to either side of her. Even Hux had relaxed enough to read, turning over until he was propped up on his side, though he'd gradually fallen deeply asleep. Kylo had gone from wakefulness and readiness one moment, to his own deep sleep in the next moment.

It had been surreal to watch the two men, who had almost constantly been on guard since she'd met them, succumb so easily to sleep. Yet Rey had felt the calm and relaxation that had settled over them before sleep; it had been almost palpable in the Force. She was sure they hadn't let themselves go like this in _years_.

If ever, her mind supplied.

Rey had watched them for long minutes before deciding on curbing her restless legs; she'd been itching to climb the cliff since she'd seen it, and she was sure that the men wouldn't mind since she really wasn't going _that_ far.

By the time she landed on the ground in front of Hux and Kylo, she was beaming at them both. They seemed to be struggling with varying degrees of being impressed, angry, frightened, and happy to see her safe and sound.

Before they could even open their mouths, Rey leaned forward and pecked first Hux, and then Kylo, on the cheeks, and started to walk past them towards the cabin. "What's for supper? I'm _famished_." She deliberately ignored the expressions of disbelief that had settled on their faces. When she was near the cabin door, she called back over her shoulder, louder this time as they still hadn't moved, "Well?"

The answer to her question was apparently some sort of meat and vegetable stew that they heated over the fireplace Kylo had set up, with a rich, crusty bread to sop up the remaining juices. Rey watched each man eat a few bites with their spoons, tearing apart their bread with their fingers, before she imitated their mannerisms and dug in with gusto.

"This is _so_ good," she mumbled, barely remembering to swallow first.

Hux smirked at her. "A family recipe," he announced proudly. "I… don't cook myself, not really, but the kitchens have made it a number of times over the years for me. I thought it would be nice."

Rey nodded her agreement, catching Kylo doing the same out of the corner of her eye before she returned to polishing off her bowl.

 _Family recipe_ …

Rey wondered if her family had any recipes that they considered theirs, and if she would ever get to try to make them. She barely felt her empty bowl pulled from her fingers, though she was at least partially aware of the two men roving around the cabin, leaving her to her musings.

She hadn't thought of her parents all day. Of course, they'd been in the back of her mind, but she'd been so mesmerized by her surroundings, and distracted by the affirmation of her, Hux's, and Kylo's… relationship, to have really given the thought its proper due.

Hux had said that her parents wanted to speak with her. She knew that they couldn't meet yet in person, but this… this was a leap forward, still, and one she wasn't sure she was ready to make. There was so much going on in her life, that throwing in the instability of a new relationship with her _parents_ of all people, made her afraid. But… she knew she _had_ to do it. She had been waiting her whole life for this moment, and to turn away from it now… that would be the ultimate cowardly act—and she was _not_ a coward.

She couldn't abide that.

Maybe… maybe when they got back to the ship, and things settled down after a few days, she would tell Hux that she did, in fact, wish to speak with her parents.

Rey felt her lips pull up into a smile. She was going to _speak_ with her _parents_ – people whom she'd thought dead and gone for over a decade.

"There she is; we were starting to worry." Hux's teasing voice broke into her thoughts.

Rey looked up, her smile growing wider as she met Hux's own small smile. Kylo appeared over his shoulder, one brow arched as he looked down at Rey as well.

"I'm fine," she answered the unspoken question as she got to her feet. The men stepped back to give her a little space. Looking around, she realized that it was nearly full dark, and that the cabin was only lit by the fireplace. "I'm sorry; I didn't realize how long I'd been sitting there. I was… thinking about my parents," she explained.

Hux and Kylo didn't quite know what to say to that, though Hux flashed her a look of commiseration before drawing back and moving to his bag. Kylo picked up one of her hands with his own and stared down at it as he stroked the skin with his fingers. She couldn't quite tell what he was feeling past the blank expression on his face, and the Force was offering her no answers.

"Holovid?" Hux asked, holding up a datapad with a holo-projector attachment.

Rey turned her hand over in Kylo's and gripped his as she replied to Hux. "I'd love that," she said happily. "What are the options?" Kylo still hadn't lifted his head from where his eyes rested on their joined hands.

"Action, comedy, drama… there's even a romance if you're interested."

Kylo's lips twitched in disdain at the last and Rey let out a snort. He glanced up quickly and caught her eyes, and then smiled in turn. He let her hand go and moved towards his own bag, prowling slowly across the room.

"Um… how about the comedy?" Rey was intrigued. She'd mostly had access to actions and dramas over the years, and she was captivated by the idea of perhaps being able to observe her – _her?_ – men laughing.

"Sure," Hux acquiesced, setting the datapad up on the chest at the foot of the bed.

One bed.

 _Oh_.

"Um…" Rey began timidly. Both men paused what they were doing, looking up at her expectantly. "Uh… there's _one_ bed."

Kylo's cheeks flared crimson in a way Rey had _never_ seen before, quickly followed by a hungry look forming in his eyes.

Hux was quick to reassure Rey, however. "We had intended to sleep on the floor. There're cots underneath the frame," he explained. "We can watch the holovid while sitting on the bed, and then go our separate ways to sleep."

Rey could _not_ stop staring at the bed. Her mind felt like it had locked up, though a few thoughts were able to get through. It… was a rather large bed – they could all fit comfortably. They _had_ fallen asleep beside each other on the couch already. They had all kissed and… done other things. And they had all agreed that they liked each other.

This… this was just the next step.

She needed to take it.

She couldn't back down.

Even if the men had planned on sleeping separately, she knew they were only doing it for her benefit. They didn't want to spook her, she was sure. She knew sometimes they walked around her delicately – sometimes _too_ delicately.

"No," she whispered. Clearing her throat, she answered louder and stronger: "No. We can… let's share the bed. Please."

She was glad they didn't question her. She wasn't sure what she would have done if they had asked if she were sure. Instead, they simply watched quietly as Rey took her sleeping clothes into the bathroom and changed.

When she came out, dressed in her sleep shorts and tank top, she noticed that they'd both changed as well. Hux was wearing baggy sleep pants and one of his close-fitting undershirts, and Kylo was… well, Kylo was being Kylo and was wearing sleep pants and absolutely _no_ shirt, displaying his muscles for all to see.

Rey hid her smile behind a hand, which widened as she caught Hux eyeing Kylo's abdomen as the other man padded towards the bed. Hux was already half under the covers on the left side of the bed, his blaster and commlink on the end table beside him. Rey watched the muscles play under the taut skin of Kylo's back as he set his lightsaber down on the end table on the other side of the bed. He turned around and faced Rey, who was already passing him her lightsaber without hesitation. His eyes tightened briefly as he gripped the hilt, but the moment passed as he turned around, laid it on the table, and then lifted up the covers.

It took a moment for Rey to realize he was waiting for her to climb in. She looked down at the clothes covering her front like a shield, hesitant to remove them in front of the men. She was… she should have brought longer sleep clothes, she thought desperately.

Kylo was in front of her all of a sudden, his hands gripping the bundle of clothes that she held onto tightly. He didn't yank them away, but instead slowly drew them away from her body until he was walking away and setting them on top of her bag. Rey just stood there, blinking and blushing, until he returned. He placed a hand on her lower back but then the touch was gone and he was sitting on the edge of the bed, feet on the floor.

He lifted the sheets again, as if in challenge.

Rey would _not_ back down. "I already said we'd do this," she replied haughtily as she climbed under the sheets, settling back onto the pillows between Hux and Kylo.

She ignored Hux's snort and Kylo's smirk, instead turning towards the holovid. "Are we going to watch this, or what?" she asked.

"Yes," Hux said. "I was just waiting for the contest to – never mind."

Rey shot him a glance, but he was already starting the holovid and ignoring both her and Kylo.

It took her a few minutes, but she was soon comfortably settled between the two men. They weren't pressed too closely against her – in fact, they were both being good and leaving a good foot of space between their bodies – and she was soon able to relax.

Of course, she should have known she'd fall asleep shortly after that.

* * *

Kylo woke to the feeling of a hand in his hair, gently pushing the strands away from his forehead. He did not immediately open his eyes, though he knew that his breathing had changed enough that anyone looking for the signs would know that he was awake.

Sprawled on his back, he took a few moments to spread his senses outwards with the Force. There was nothing wrong, nothing that needed attention, and he slowly drew his awareness inwards again before opening his eyes. He tilted his head to the side and was met with the vivid green eyes of Hux.

The other man was on his back as well, but had his arm spread across the space between them, his fingers still curled in Kylo's locks and softly rubbing his fingers against the texture.

Hux's eyes darted downwards, fleetingly, and Kylo dropped his gaze to observe the pleasing sight before him. Rey was plastered against the redhead, her torso nearly entirely on top of Hux's, and one leg slung over his hips. The sheet had slid low over their bodies during the night and Kylo was able to see the fingers of Hux's other hand rubbing gentle circles on the bare skin of her lower back where her tank top had ridden up.

Kylo lifted his eyes back to Hux's, realizing that the other man was staring intently at him. Brushing against Rey's mind with the Force in the gentlest manner he could, he checked to see how deeply asleep she was before moving closer to the other two people sharing the bed with him – the two people who had professed a desire for _something_ with him.

Something _concrete_.

He felt anchored for the first time in years.

He felt… steady. Steady like he'd never felt before; like he'd never imagined he could feel. He hadn't felt this sane in his own mind since his childhood – since before the Dark and the Light had begun vying for dominance within him – and he felt like Rey and Hux were… grounding him. He felt like they offered no judgment, only compassion, when he broke; and that they would be there to put him back together if need be.

Hesitating slightly before pressing his bare back against Rey's clothed one, he then gently molded his body against hers from behind, reveling in the feeling of her warm body against his. Just as he reveled in the feel of Hux's thin lips against his when the man tugged lightly on his hair to pull him up to meet his kiss.

It wasn't sexual – for the first time in years, it seemed, he didn't feel like a burning pyre of desire, want, and frustration when confronted with the thought of kissing the man.

He closed his eyes as he dropped his head to rest on the arm he curled beneath his ear, and dozed off once more.

"I don't want to lose her."

Kylo's eyes snapped open as Hux's voice pulled him out of his slumber again. He tilted his head back to look at Hux as he murmured, "Then we won't. We have the power to prevent it." He fervently believed that they could protect Rey from anything – and that anything they couldn't protect her from, she could… and if none of that worked, they would _take_ the power that was necessary to do so.

He didn't want to lose Rey; not this woman who meant so much to him, and to Hux.

She was too important to him already, and they'd barely even begun the steps into their shared relationship. A shared relationship he was _still_ a little in disbelief over, if he were being honest with himself.

"I couldn't protect _Leif_ ," Hux whispered as his eyes seared into Kylo's. He could feel the pain radiating off of Hux through the Force and so he pulled himself up slightly in the bed so that he could be closer to the other man's face, careful not to wake Rey who was still lightly snoring between the both of them.

"You didn't know he was in danger," Kylo said from inches away, infusing his voice with the conviction he felt on the subject – there was _nothing_ Hux could have done for Leif.

Hux's eyes closed briefly before he opened them again and nodded slightly in acceptance. Kylo knew it didn't make it any easier, however. He knew all too well that the pain would only fade – it would never go away completely.

"Did you know that Janna was in danger as well?" Hux asked, his voice completely without inflection.

Kylo hadn't realized his arms had tightened around Rey until he heard her let out a grunt. Slowly, he loosened the hold he had on her and listened to her breathing return to normal.

He hadn't expected to hear that name coming from Hux. Sure, he had been thinking of her more often of late, especially given the circumstances… but he hadn't thought that Hux had even _known_ about his former lover. He supposed he shouldn't be that surprised, however – Hux was always more knowledgeable than he made himself appear to be. It was one of the things that so attracted him to Hux, but he himself often forgot the fact.

"No," he finally admitted softly. "I was young. I might have been strong, and I might have been starting to learn how to manipulate those around me, but there were things that I missed back then due to inexperience. It wasn't until just a few years ago that I realized what had happened to her. I don't know if Snoke ever figured out that I'd learned, or if he just didn't care. Either way… how did you guess?"

Hux scoffed at him lightly, as if he were insulted at the questioning of his intellect. "Once I knew about Leif, it wasn't hard to figure _that_ out," he explained. But his eyes were soft as he stared at Kylo.

A sudden upwelling of renewed despair filled Kylo. He'd raged the first time he'd figured out what had happened, over two weeks ago, but had then quickly channeled that rage into strength for other preoccupations. He knew he had to lie in wait before getting revenge on Snoke for the murder of his Knight-companion – his _lover_ – and he knew that they were well on their way towards that goal. He also knew that she had been dead for nigh on ten years now… his grief had long since run its course, though the echoes were strong now in their renewal. He missed her, even after all these years, even after nearly completely moving on, even with new… almost lovers… in his life.

Yet Hux and Rey were now being threatened, one implicitly and one nearly explicitly… and his rage simmered again beneath the surface at the thought.

Kylo furrowed his brow and pursed his lips as he struggled to control himself, only to have the lips in question be captured by Hux's in a deep kiss. It was the other man's turn to reassure Kylo as he drew back after only a few moments. "Like you said, we have the power, and the knowledge, to prevent that from happening now."

"To prevent what from happening?" murmured a sleep-roughened voice from somewhere between their chests.

Both men looked down, startled, as Rey stretched and yawned at the same time. It was a full-bodied stretch, limbs akimbo and nearly smacking them both in the face before they adjusted themselves to avoid her. By the time she'd finished stretching, she had rolled over onto her back on the bed between them, her top halfway up her midriff and her hair covering half of her face as she looked up, her eyes darting between Kylo and Hux. She crossed her arms lightly over her breasts after struggling for a moment with where exactly she should put them.

Kylo hadn't even felt her wake; he wondered how much she'd heard. Not much, he figured, if all she'd asked was that last question. Someday he'd tell her about his first _real_ lover – not the transactional relations he'd had with nameless men and women before and after – and how she'd been taken from him… but not today.

Today was for them.

They still had hours before the General, at least, was expected back from his 'solitary time'. Kylo and Rey only had to be back before the ship departed.

"To prevent _what_ from happening?" Rey asked again, her voice sounding a little grumpier and her eyes sharpening as the last dregs of sleep feel away from her consciousness. "You promised me no more lies, Kylo. Or you, Hux." She caught Hux's eyes as well.

Kylo pushed himself up on the bed until he had pushed the sheet all the way down with his feet and one of his knees was between Rey's legs. He held himself over her for a moment before lowering his lips to caress that one _delectable_ looking spot on her collarbone.

"To prevent us from losing you," Kylo breathed against her skin.

* * *

Rey's breath hitched as Kylo ghosted his lips across her flesh, but she was even more affected by the words he'd spoken. The absolutely _protectiveness_ and _possessiveness_ in Kylo's voice sent thrills through her body and she shivered lightly in response to both it and the physical touch.

"We won't let anything happen to you," Hux's voice murmured against her hair as he shuffled himself down the bed so that his head was level with hers.

Rey huffed, suddenly feeling slightly exasperated. "I don't need protecting."

Hux pulled back and smirked at her. "We know that… but let us worry. Let us do what we can, without undermining you. It's what people do when they… care."

Kylo had stilled his lips against her skin as Hux spoke and Rey could tell that he was waiting for her to process what Hux was saying. She knew they cared about her… she cared about them a lot as well. In fact, Rey could completely empathize with the idea. She had felt, to her great bewilderment at times, immense surges of protectiveness herself, for these two men who were twined around her.

She supposed she knew _exactly_ what they were saying.

"Okay," she replied in a whisper, and then turned her head to capture Hux's lips with hers.

She felt _free_ this morning. Waking up in Hux and Kylo's arms, after a night in a cabin with windows opened to the air, and away from all her immediate troubles… after a day where they'd opened up and recognized what was going on between them…?

It was…

Rey felt like she could let go. She felt like she could give in to the pressure of Hux's tongue as it slid gently against the seam of her lips. She felt like she could abandon her worries – the feelings of guilt and conflict that had been plaguing her about these two men having dissolved so completely yesterday morning – and arch her back to send her chest brushing against Kylo's as he hovered over her.

She felt like she could listen to the sound Kylo made _forever_ as her hard nipples rubbed against his bare chest through the thin material of her top.

She felt _powerful_ in the face of their desire for her.

Even as she ventured into territory she'd barely explored, she felt in control. She knew if she told them to stop, that they would.

But in this moment, she wanted to explore the bodies laid out before her; she wanted to _learn_ the bodies of these two men and memorize their reactions to her touches.

And she wanted to be touched in return.

Collapsing her body back onto the bed, she reached up to tug Kylo in for a kiss as she pulled her lips away from Hux. Undeterred, Hux leaned down and dragged his lips across the same spot on her neck that Kylo had kissed mere minutes before, causing Rey to shiver even as the heat of arousal quickly pooled low in her belly.

Kylo elicited a startled gasp from Rey as he brought his other knee between Rey's legs and lowered himself to grind up against her. He was hot and hard against her – a sensation she still was not used to in the slightest, and yet it caused desire to course through her veins rather than fear. The thinness of their sleeping clothes made it so that she could feel so much _more_ than she had before.

His lips moved against hers even as he rocked against the juncture of her thighs, and then suddenly his tongue was inside of her mouth and she was rocking right back up against him while she moaned into his mouth.

Hux reached between their bodies and cupped the breast that was closest to him as he continued to nibble on the skin of her neck. Rey pulled away from Kylo's lips with a gasp, her eyes wild at the sensations that were threatening to overwhelm her. Her breath came to her in heaving gasps as Kylo and Hux stopped what they were doing and slowly looked up into her face.

Suddenly, Rey was being pulled up to straddle Kylo's lap as he sat back on his heels, her arms going automatically around his neck. She was vaguely aware that Kylo had tugged on Hux's shirt to pull him onto his knees behind Rey's body. She was caged between the two tall men, one of whom had his hands running up her sides, drawing her shirt upwards along with them.

Kylo was holding onto her hips with both hands, Rey realized, and all he was doing was staring at her intently. His gaze was passionate, but he made no motion to kiss her, or rock his hips against hers – though she could feel how hard he was, pressed against her clit deliciously with this new angle. He was still beneath her.

He was watching her every expression, Rey finally understood, to gauge her comfort level with what was going on. She smiled tentatively at him to reassure him, and then tilted her head forward until her forehead was pressed against the hot, bare skin of his sternum as she reveled in the sensations that were being drawn expertly from her.

Hux kept his hands moving upwards until his fingers skimmed the sides of her breasts, the material of her shirt bunched up around his wrists. He had paused, ostensibly for the same reason as Kylo had been peering into her face.

"Please," Rey murmured, her breath puffing out against Kylo's skin. His hands briefly clenched tighter around her hips before they relaxed once again. Rey smiled at the fact that she'd been able to garner such a reaction from simply _breathing_ on him.

Hux took her plea as the assent it had been meant to be, and quickly guided Rey's tank off of her torso and over her arms. She placed her hands on Kylo's shoulders once her arms were free, though she was struggling with the desire to cover herself.

She was embarrassed – she hadn't imagined she would be, but having both Hux and Kylo staring at her, one over her shoulder, was suddenly making her entirely too self-conscious for her own liking.

Before she could even finish the thought that she was going to cover herself, Kylo whispered, "Don't you dare."

Rey frowned at him but the expression was immediately chased away at the reverent touch of both of Hux's hands reaching up to cradle her breasts, and the feel of Kylo pumping his hips slowly against her.

She moaned at the dual sensations lighting her nerves on fire. She'd never had anyone touch her breasts – her _nipples_ – with their bare hands before, and the sensation was –

"Good," Kylo muttered possessively as he leaned forward to nip at her jawline.

"Get out of my head, Kylo," Rey let out on a shuddering breath. She wasn't really affronted; she couldn't be at a time like this.

"What?" Hux asked against Kylo's cheek as he leaned forward to nuzzle his mouth against the other man's skin. He tweaked both of her nipples at the same time with his callused fingers, making Rey grind down against Kylo in an instinctive response.

Kylo pulled his mouth away from Rey and captured Hux's lips – they were kissing right beside Rey's face and she couldn't help but stare at them, captivated by the sight – before drawing away from him as well and responding. "She's never had her bare breasts touched before, and she _likes_ it," he drawled, his eyes glinting wickedly as he caught Rey's gaze.

She huffed at him, but still couldn't be upset. She was too consumed with arousal to be bothered.

Hux hummed, his lips against her shoulder as he pulled back from Kylo. "Really?" he asked. He lifted his hands off of her breasts to her dismay, only to pull her back against his body with one hand on her hip over her shorts and the other on her bare ribcage. "I guess that would definitely discount lips then, huh Kylo?"

Rey's eyes widened as Kylo's darkened. She remembered the way his lips had felt on her nipple through the cloth of her tunic the other day, but it in no way prepared her for the feeling of his mouth wrapping around the sensitive bundle of flesh and lathing it with his tongue. He groaned around the flesh in his mouth, and one of his hands reached up to cup her other breast.

The sensation was even _more_ intense than before; she hadn't thought that would be possible. Rey's lips parted on a moan as her head fell back against Hux's shoulder. He brought a hand up to cup her cheek, holding her against the side of his face where she could feel the light stubble of his beard brush against her flushed skin.

As Kylo switched to her other breast with his mouth, she felt Hux's hand at her hip dip inwards, following the trail of her hipbone beneath her shorts. "I..." she let out on a groan of half-pleasure, half-embarrassment.

Both men paused, though neither removed their hands or lips. She could feel their eyes on her, even as she stared up at the ceiling.

"What is it?" Hux finally murmured.

Rey's cheeks flamed. "I've never done this before – any of this," she answered. She refused to hide the fact, or be ashamed of it, but a part of her was embarrassed to be such an innocent in the presence of such... experience.

"Don't be," Kylo answered, pulling his mouth away from her breast. He replaced it with his fingers, though, tweaking the nipples until Rey arched against him.

"What?" Hux asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

"Rey is worried we're turned off by her... innocence," Kylo explained.

"Kylo!" Rey gasped out, affronted and embarrassed. "Stop prying!" She lifted her head off of Hux's shoulder to glare at him, but it was hard to keep a hold of the anger when he was looking at her like that.

"Never," Hux murmured against the back of her neck as he leaned forward to kiss it through the tangle of her hair. His response diffused the rest of her anger, reassuring and soothing her embarrassment away as well.

"It's alluring, in fact," Kylo continued, "But we like you for who _you_ are, not for your... sexual experience, Rey."

Before she could say anything else, she was pulled away from Hux and deposited back onto the bed, her shorts pulled down her legs and thrown away – by who, she wasn't sure.

She was completely nude, now, before their eyes.

Rey resisted the urge to cover up her small patch of brown curls as Kylo and Hux stared at her body hungrily. Both men were completely wrapped up in looking at Rey, but Hux's hand had migrated over to the top of Kylo's thigh where he straddled Rey over top of her knees. She completely forgot her embarrassment as she watched, hungry herself, as Hux's fingers finally brushed over the erection straining against Kylo's pants.

The action seemed to spur Kylo, and suddenly he was pulling Hux in for a kiss over top of Rey's body. The sight of their teeth, lips, and tongues clashing together, even as their hands roamed over each other, was more than enough to leave Rey writhing beneath them on the bed, trying to stimulate her clit by rubbing her thighs together.

Kylo was the first to pull back, and then he was looking down at Rey beneath his legs with an arched brow.

She could sense the question forming, and she answered him before he even had a chance to voice it. "I'm not _that_ inexperienced," she grouched. "I _have_ touched myself – plenty!" Rey found herself blushing again as both he and Hux looked at her curiously, their eyes still plenty filled with heavy-lidded desire.

Before she knew it, Kylo was between her legs on his stomach, her legs hitched over his shoulders, and his mouth was burried against her entrance.

"Oh _Force_ ," Rey nearly shrieked, only to be silenced by Hux's lips claiming her mouth. He consumed her from above with his lips and tongue, even as Kylo licked and lapped and probed into her entrance with his mouth.

She couldn't think, she could only _feel_ – and she had _never_ felt anything like this before. She hadn't even... she hadn't even thought that men and women did _this_. Why would any man want to touch his mouth down there? She had always considered it a dirty place, for hands and... other things... only, but this...

She understood entirely _too well_ why women would want this, at least, even if she didn't understand why men would.

Hux brought a hand up to thumb the nipple of one breast as he continued to delve into her mouth, and the sensation coupled with Kylo's tongue flattening out, moving from thrusting shallowly in and out of her to lick from back to front, pressing firmly down as he went...

Rey suddenly arched her back as his tongue hit her clit – something he'd avoided until then – and then he was wrapping his lips around the bundle of nerves and sucking, nibbling, and licking until she was seeing stars. Desire and heat was coursing through her body, centering on her lower abdomen and around her clit until she was pushing herself down against Kylo's face, grinding her clit against him in abandon and without shame.

He hummed against her clit and _there_ – she was gone, over the edge, a climax thundering through her longer and more intense than _any_ she'd ever been able to give herself.

All from a _mouth_.

Rey panted, her limbs quivering as she slowly regained control of herself where she'd collapsed against the bed. She... oh _stars_ , that was amazing.

She only realized she'd muttered that out loud when Hux let out a laugh against her throat, his breath puffing out across her skin and making her shiver at the sensation – her body felt entirely over-sensitized at the moment.

"Seems Kylo's good with his mouth for more than just talking," Hux murmured.

Suddenly, Hux was yanked away from Rey's body and thrown onto his back on the bed beside Rey. She blinked slowly, tilting her head to the side in time to catch up as Kylo straddled Hux's waist and captured the redhead's lips with his own. He broke away only long enough to pull Hux's shirt over his head and fling _that_ away as well.

Kylo's lips and cheeks were still _slick_ with the wetness from her orgasm, and Rey felt her insides clench as Hux pulled back just enough to lick the evidence off of Kylo's face. His eyes fluttered shut and he _hummed_.

Rey gasped, rolling onto her side to watch as Kylo nipped on Hux's lip before lowering himself down the other man's body. As he went, he dragged Hux's pants down with his hands.

Hux's erection sprang free, and all Rey could do was watch with wide eyes and gasping breaths as Kylo licked a trail from the base to the head of Hux's cock. Rey tried to take it all in – the length, the hardness, the shifting of his balls in time to Hux arching off of the bed at a particularly pleasurable sensation, the thatch of red hair that his cock sprang out of, trailing upwards towards his belly button before disappearing beyond it... and the motion of Kylo's head, mouth, and throat as he bobbed confidently up and down over Hux's cock.

Hux was squirming and panting and occasionally thrusting himself up into Kylo's mouth – until Kylo reached up and pinned his hips down with one forearm slung over the other man's hips. Hux settled instead for reaching up with both hands and clutching at Kylo's hair, gripping tightly along with the movements. He groaned at what seemed to be a particularly deep intake on Kylo's part.

Kylo pulled himself onto his knees without disconnecting his mouth from Hux's body. He darted his eyes to the side and held Rey's gaze as he brought his free hand to his pants and pulled them down just enough to free his own erection. He fisted it before Rey could catch a clear glimpse of it, but what she did see had Rey salivating – she had no idea why that would be her body's reaction, but at this point she was just running with it all.

Rey didn't even realize she'd been reaching forward until Kylo caught her hand and brought it to Hux's shaft. She was propped up on her side, having rolled ever closer as she'd watched the two men, and she pressed herself tightly against Hux's side, skin to heated skin, as she marveled at the sensation of the velvet softness covering the iron hardness beneath her fingers.

Kylo's mouth was still covering the head of Hux's cock, but he slowed his movements and wrapped his fingers over Rey's, showing her how to move her hand up and down the flesh in order to garner the maximum amount of pleasure from the redhead groaning beneath them.

It was a heady sensation, the power she held over the man – over _both_ men, she admitted, as she caught sight of Kylo pumping his own shaft ever quicker as his gaze traveled up and down her body.

Hux let out a sharp gasp and Kylo tightened his fingers over Rey's, swiftly moving her hand over that same spot she'd just caught with the edge of her thumb. She watched in fascination as Hux arched off of the bed after a few more pumps of her – _their_ – hand, and watched in even further fascination as Kylo pushed Hux's cock further into his mouth and worked his throat in what were _obviously_ swallowing motions.

Did men... _like_ that?

Well, apparently _Kylo_ did.

Rey continued to stare in fascination, completely turned on all over again as the dull throb in her core amped up even higher.

His mouth and his hand over Rey's slowed until he finally released both gently, his now-free hand wandering over Hux's body and joining with his other as he unpinned the now-docile Hux from beneath his arm. Rey followed one of Hux's arms with her eyes as it was flung over his eyes with a contended sigh.

But then she caught movement out of the corner of her eye and she darted her head back down Hux's body to where Kylo was now kneeling between Hux's parted thighs. Her eyes followed the movement of his hand as it pumped his shaft quicker and quicker. She couldn't look away. She pulled her hand off of Hux's softening member grudgingly, but she wanted to explore the flesh of his hard stomach and hipbones while he was still so readily available to her and at her mercy.

Suddenly, Kylo grunted and jerked his hips, thrusting a final, deep time into his hand. White ropes of – what _was_ it called? Rey wondered – liquid shot out of the tip of his cock and landed on Hux's pelvis, legs, and stomach. Rey could only _stare_ in amazement – and increased arousal – as Kylo collapsed onto one arm until he was hunched over Hux's lower body.

They stayed where they were, all breathing deeply, bodies shaking as they all desperately tried to regain control of themselves.

"Fuck," Hux said from beneath the arm that was still plastered over his eyes. His voice sounded completely wrung out.

Kylo was silent for a few beats before replying on a gasping laugh, "Not yet, but close."

Rey laughed as well, though she was still short of breath, and still on edge from her renewed arousal. "No, not yet," she agreed. "But soon."

It was a race to see which man could reach Rey's lips first the moment the words left her mouth – _obviously_ they'd liked that idea.


	20. Rumination

Hux stared at the raised ramp at the end of the passenger bay in Kylo's ship with trepidation. He hadn't stood up – or even unbuckled himself – from his seat, even though they'd landed minutes ago.

He didn't want to leave the peace he'd found within these shuttle walls. For the first time in years, he'd found something he wanted to focus on more than his career, more than his duties, more than the magnificent _Finalizer_ that he'd worked so hard to earn the command for.

He wanted to focus on _himself_ for once – his personal self, not his professional self.

And that was an odd, unsettling feeling.

He was sure he could balance both, but part of him wanted to throw it all to the wind, hand over command to his second, and disappear into space with Rey and Kylo.

Hux shook his head, a twist on his lips that wasn't quite a smile and wasn't quite a grimace.

"What are you thinking about?" Rey asked quietly, plopping down beside him. He hadn't even heard or seen her move; he sure was slipping – or perhaps it was trust. He trusted Rey. And… he trusted Kylo.

He hadn't trusted anyone like that since… well, not since Leif.

Hux met Rey's eyes as she reached over and unbuckled him from the harness. She brushed off his attempts at protest until he finally just let her do it.

Whatever made her happy.

He leaned forward until he was nuzzling against her cheek, his mouth near her ear. "I was thinking about your body beneath my hands this morning. About the way Kylo looked with his head buried between your thighs, pleasuring you until you came." Rey drew in a quivering breath, and he continued. "You're beautiful."

And she was. Hux was consumed with her physical beauty as well as her inner strength and power shining through; her ability to handle herself in a fight but also her innate gentleness was something that had attracted him from early on.

If he were honest with himself, he'd been intrigued by her since she'd so thoroughly _wrecked_ Kylo on Starkiller. As much as he hated the thought of Kylo being injured now… well, back then he hadn't cared quite as much.

Hux drew back from Rey, standing up and offering her his hand so that she could stand as well. She accepted it, gloved hand placed in his gloved hand, blushing the entire way.

Hux took a step into her personal space and then tilted her chin up with his other hand. She was staring wide-eyed at him, still tinged pink, as he asked, "You don't regret what we did, do you?"

"No."

Yet the voice that answered him wasn't Rey's. It was Kylo's, and it was coming from behind him. Hux looked over his shoulder and met the eyes of the darker man, standing barely a foot behind Hux.

"In fact, she wants to know when we can do that again," Kylo said smugly, one corner of his lips edging up in a slight smirk.

"Kylo!" Rey gasped, stepping back from Hux and staring over his shoulder at Kylo with an affronted look on her face. Hux dropped his hands to his coat, ensuring that his appearance was in order before he disembarked, trying to stay out of this battle.

"That's private! You don't read Hux like that," she protested. The pink tinge of embarrassment was being deepened by anger.

Hux smirked to himself. Thankfully, Rey was too busy glaring at Kylo for her to notice the expression crossing his face. It was quite amusing watching Kylo rile up someone other than himself, for once. At least this way, he could appreciate how skilled the man was at it.

"I don't, you're right. You're projecting, though. Even some of my Knight trainees would be able to pick up on that thought but, as much fun as it is to embarrass them, I'd really rather them not see me naked – or either of you, for that matter," he finished on a possessive growl.

Before Rey could apologize – it looked like what she was about to do, to Hux – Kylo's comm chirped.

"What?" he snapped as he answered.

"Gee, that's no way to greet your second, now is it, Kylo?" Savat Ren's voice floated across the connection.

Hux groaned quietly enough so that he wouldn't be heard, and Kylo rolled his eyes.

"You got here awfully quick," Kylo stated blandly.

"I've learned to make the General hop when I say hop," she chuckled.

"I'm sure you have," Kylo replied even as he eyed his own General from head to toe.

Hux merely lifted a brow at him before turning to look back at Rey. She looked completely perplexed, but also… Rey looked a little jealous. Hux smirked, observing Rey without her knowledge as she stared hard at the comm in Kylo's grip.

"Now that you're back from your little jaunt," Savat continued more seriously, "We can meet and discuss your plans. Not that you said you _had_ any plans, but why else would you be calling us all back like this?"

Kylo ignored her question and replied simply, "Thirty minutes, meet me at the training facility," before shutting down the connection. He dropped his head and then huffed, looking up at Hux and then Rey from beneath his mess of hair.

His eyes narrowed on Rey, and Hux was suddenly sure she was projecting herself again from the way that she was looking back at Kylo. She looked… insecure, but also as if she were about to bluster her way through hiding it.

Kylo stepped around Hux and placed a kiss on Rey's cheek. "You mean everything to me; to us. Our time together should have shown you that, even if… even if I'm not good at expressing myself verbally." Rey's eyes flicked downwards at his comm, and Kylo caught the glance as he pulled back from her cheek, standing up straight. "Savat Ren is my second in command and there is nothing between us. Do you trust me on that?" he asked her, his gaze intent.

She lifted her eyes and met his before whispering quietly, "Yes, and so much more."

"Good," he replied with a suddenly brilliant smile. He turned to Hux and flashed him the same smile, and Hux's breath was nearly taken away with the intensity behind it. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Kylo's briefly before pulling back and murmuring, "Rey is right, though – we _must_ do that again, and soon."

Kylo caught his gaze, focusing on him as he replied softly, "Yes." He broke their stare and moved over to pick up his mask from one of the seats, placing it on his head with a hiss and a click. "For now, however," his voice continued in that eerie, distorted tone, "We must attend to business."

Kylo trailed a gloved hand across Rey's jaw as he passed her, causing her to shiver. He hit the panel to open the ramp with his fist, and waited only long enough for the hydraulics to lower the ramp halfway before stalking down it and jumping off the still-moving edge.

Hux's eyes flew to Rey as she let out a little snort of laughter. She caught his look and answered his unspoken question with light chuckles. "He's always so dramatic."

Hux's lips twitched. "Yes, he certainly can be."

He groaned as his own commlink let out a series of beeps which indicated exactly who was contacting him. He eyed the open ramp and the forms of engineers passing by hurriedly before letting out a sigh. Rey was eyeing him curiously at this show of unusual exasperation, and he replied simply, "Duty calls."

He answered the communication, finally. "Captain Phasma. We expected you three days ago. What news?"

Rey walked off to give him some privacy, and he was struck by the maturity of that decision. He couldn't dwell on it for long, though, as Phasma was replying to his query.

"The Stormtrooper facility has received the appropriate overhaul and their training amended, General. I am suitably confident in their ability to implement the changes based on the… incident." Her own modulated voice was as even and professional as ever, though it hesitated slightly on the last word, likely due to Rey's presence and her connection with the… problem in question: Stormtrooper FN-2187.

"On my way back, however," Phasma continued, "I followed some intelligence pertaining to the Resistance, and the effort paid off. They are heading for Jakku of all places, though I have no idea for what reason. I am on the bridge, preparing an intelligence-gathering mission, and I would like your input and for you to sign-off on the final version."

Hux's eyes darted back over to Rey, focusing his gaze on her and making a quick judgment call before replying to Phasma. "I'll be there shortly, and will bring along someone who may have more expertise than either of us on the topic at hand."

She hesitated slightly before acknowledging him with a, "Very well, sir."

Hux shut off the commlink and walked over to Rey with purposeful strides. "Are you free to join me on the bridge? I have need of your assistance, I believe."

Rey looked as if she couldn't believe he was asking her. "I… of course! I'm free the rest of the day."

"Excellent," Hux said, already donning the mantle of his command, his voice evening out and losing much of its softness.

Yet he couldn't help but twitch his lips up very briefly when he heard Rey murmur to herself as she followed him down the ramp, "I've always _wanted_ to see an intact bridge in one of these things!"

* * *

They'd walked quietly through the halls of the _Finalizer_ , Rey trailing just slightly behind him and to the right. He'd only glanced at her once out of the corner of his eye, yet had been suitably impressed with the air of gravitas she'd adopted as she walked. She looked fierce, her features set in a stoic expression, her palm resting lightly on the hilt of her lightsaber as she matched the length of her strides to Hux's. She played the part of the strong shadow well.

It seemed she was learning more than just the ways of the Force from her Master – from _Kylo_. Although, he was never much of a shadow – more a roiling storm, fiercer and darker than anything he'd grown up with on Arkanis.

At least his officers didn't cower at the sight of Rey. Perhaps he should request she accompany him more often, when a Knight along for the visit was the smart decision to go with. He could have the fear and intimidation of a Knight of Ren along with him, without the paralyzing _terror_ that Kylo Ren often instilled. Hux was sure, however, that Kylo would insist on accompanying him, even if Rey _did_ go along. That wasn't such a bad thing, though… and perhaps now he would be a little less _troublesome_ to manage.

Hux placed his palm on the bridge door's access panel, then keyed in his code. He stepped through and then motioned Rey to follow him, glancing back just in time to see her struggle with maintaining the expression of indifference on her face. It was a battle; and one he was fascinated to watch. If he hadn't known her as well as he did, he wouldn't have noticed the infinitesimal widening of her eyes, the flaring of her nostrils, and the hitch in her breathing exhibited by her shoulders stuttering slightly. She was quick to get it all under control, knowing that there were plenty of strangers watching her – and that, since she really was not supposed to be here, she must exhibit the greatest of professionalism – but she still stood just inside of the doors after they closed behind her, looking slowly across the bridge and taking in every single sight and sound.

Hux didn't let it show outwardly, much as Rey was trying to do, but inwardly he felt nothing but pride for his magnificent star destroyer, as well as immense pleasure at being able to give Rey this small slice of happiness.

"General," a loud voice called out from the opposite side of the bridge. Hux motioned for Rey to follow him, and she fell into position to his right again as he strode confidently across the walkway, consoles and officers in the pits to either side. His eyes flicked constantly towards the consoles and officers, ensuring that everything was in order. One lieutenant caught his eye and raised his hand briefly in a signal that Hux knew meant he wished to speak to him, but that there was no rush. He nodded his acknowledgement without slowing down, continuing across to the far bank of consoles and view-screens.

A blonde woman of about Rey's height, though double her age, was there to greet him. Her eyes flicked towards Rey even as she saluted Hux. "General, sir."

"Major Davidson," Hux greeted. "All is well with our girl?"

Major Samantha Davidson, his own second in command like Savat was Kylo's, was the only one who he called the _Finalizer_ 'our girl' with. She appreciated the ship better than anyone else – but not more so than Hux.

"All is well," she replied smoothly, dropping from her salute and pulling out a datapad as soon as Hux indicated for her to relax. She didn't ask after how his day off had went, which he was grateful for; he'd always valued her professionalism. It was one of the reasons she'd caught his eye as an aide – the General he'd stolen her away from had been nearly apoplectic, but the General of the flagship would _always_ receive precedence on crew member assignments. He and the Major hadn't quite become _friends_ , per se, but he held a great deal of respect for the older woman, and she for him, based almost entirely on each other's competency where it pertained to their duties.

"I've forwarded you the reports, but as you can see here, the commanders of the _Remnant_ and the _Fatality_ have requested arbitration for an incident between them – something they felt only _you_ could handle." Her eyes flashed at that. Normally she managed arbitration at the highest levels, though on occasion she was bypassed and Hux's decision was requested.

"I'll take a look at it later. They can stew for a little while, since they've chosen to bother me with another of their _petty_ disputes," Hux drawled. The Major nodded and stowed the datapad, rocking back on her heels for a moment before turning back to one of the consoles.

Hux wasn't quite sure how he'd managed without Major Davidson to deal with the minutiae of running the _Finalizer_. He was sure he'd been only a few years off from losing his mind, but now he could relax and focus on the bigger picture of the First Order at large rather than handling the day-to-day dealings of his own ship. Having her around to deal with reports meant that he could focus on broader strategy to win the war rather than signing off on engine repair lists or disciplinary actions for officers that no one else was a high enough rank to deal with. Davidson, being a Major, could handle the bulk of that, and he'd trained her well to his particular way of doing things.

"So this is the scavenger girl from Jakku," came Phasma's voice from behind Hux and Rey. "I was wondering if it was her that you were referencing when you said you had someone who could offer expertise on our little problem."

Hux turned around to face Phasma, and she saluted him quickly before relaxing once more. Rey remained facing towards Hux, however, and he could see the flash of anger that quickly crossed her features before being reined in once more. It had been immediately apparent to Hux, who knew the Captain very well, that she was being deliberately disdainful as she addressed Rey – and it seemed Rey had noticed as well. Before he could address the situation, anger starting to swell within his own self, Rey turned around slowly. Her hand clenched the hilt of her lightsaber briefly before she released her grip and slowly lowered her hand to her side.

"That is Lady Rey or Lady Ren to you, _Captain_ ," Rey stated confidently, her eyes narrowing as she gazed up at Phasma. Even though the other woman was a head taller, Rey held herself with such poise that there was no way one could guess she was completely new to this sort of thing. "I do not believe we have met, but I am Master Kylo's Apprentice and not a mere _trainee._ I am finally granted the privilege of meeting the illustrious Captain Phasma, only to see that you are woefully uninformed about my status within the ship. Perhaps the General did not pass along the pertinent information?"

Hux raised his eyebrow at her, thinking the power play was a little audacious of the young woman, but he settled into a comfortable stance and left the Captain to come up with an appropriate response – perhaps Rey knew what she was doing.

They would see…

The immediate vicinity was hushed, officers and technicians alike silent as Phasma paused, clearly thinking over the most appropriate response. Rey had granted the Captain a compliment, though accompanied with a stern reprimand, and her status as Kylo's Apprentice placed her on fairly even footing with Phasma – though the Knights were not a branch of the First Order, Kylo Ren was still technically above the Captain in all matters and she was required to obey him without question. Even with the Stormtroopers, whom she was in charge of, Kylo could ultimately veto her on all aspects.

He simply chose not to.

Phasma only had one option available to her to save face, and she chose to follow it by bowing slightly towards the small woman standing before her. "Lady Rey," she greeted smoothly, "I apologize. It seems I was not correctly informed as to your status, though the General is surely not to blame. I will see to it that I find who is responsible for misplacing said information."

Rey waved her hand dismissively – a gesture Hux was intimately familiar with as he made the same gesture often himself. "I'm sure it was a simple mistake. Now, what sort of expertise can I offer?" Her tone of voice quickly switched from aloof to curious, and Phasma straightened and stepped forward so that she could pass the General and pull up an image on a central holo-projector.

And just like that, everyone returned to their duties, the danger having passed.

Rey turned to follow Hux and Phasma after he gestured for her to join them at the projector.

"That's Jakku," she breathed.

Hux was curious – he couldn't imagine that she'd ever had cause to see what her planet looked like from space – and so he asked, "How do you know?"

Rey looked at him for a moment before responding. "Believe it or not, they taught us children a few things about our planet as we were growing up. One of those lessons included an image much like this, though it was two-dimensional. I recognize the pattern of the craters, and that," she pointed at a field of large and small darker-colored dots, "is the Starship Graveyard. Which I know intimately."

"Okay," Hux nodded, fighting the urge to frown in thought. Before he could dwell on the feeling of sadness that elicited for Rey and her past, he turned to Phasma, keeping control of himself and the situation. "What did your intelligence indicate so far?"

Phasma's helmeted head turned towards Rey. It was pretty obvious what she was thinking, and so Hux was not surprised when Rey spoke up again.

"If the General did not trust me, he would not have asked me here, Captain. I have pledged myself to the First Order and have been judged and deemed trustworthy by both Kylo Ren and the Supreme Leader, both of whom have seen into my mind. So unless you wish to question their judgment…?"

Hux had to admit, seeing Rey flex her status like that was causing his mouth to go dry – not in fear, no… No, he was getting entirely too turned on by the little spitfire than was appropriate for the bridge.

"Of course, Lady Rey," Phasma interjected, inclining her head slightly before continuing with what Hux had asked of her. "As I said before, the Resistance is heading for Jakku – or at least a branch of the Resistance – although I and my contacts are unsure as to why. I was hoping to arrange for some of our covert teams to land here, here, and here –" she pointed to three separate locations on the map, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, "– and figure out what exactly they are up to."

Hux crossed his arms, though one arm was drawn up so that he could rest his chin on the fingers of that hand as he pondered the projection in front of him. Major Davidson walked up and joined them, standing by his side in the event that he needed her advice. It wasn't often that he did, but there were times she'd saved plans before they'd even begun, in ways that never pointed out he had been about to start a mission with a flawed plan in place.

"You don't need to send in teams," Rey interrupted his musings with her assertion. "At least, you don't have to send them in blind."

"Pardon me?" Phasma asked, sounding on the verge of being affronted at Rey speaking out of turn.

Before Rey could assert her dominance once again – as much as he wished to see it – Hux stepped in smoothly. "Go on, Lady Rey." It was a struggle not to keep his fondness for the woman out of his voice.

Rey stood up straighter and then leaned in towards the projection of Jakku. She spoke slowly, as if trying to figure out the right words. "Well, we all know about that old Imperial weapons facility that was stationed on Jakku during the war. The old war," she clarified, and then realized that that still hadn't cleared up the odd look Hux was giving her. She tried again. "Yes, it was destroyed, so that's obviously not what the Resistance is there for."

That _still_ didn't erase the look on his face, and so he spoke up with what exactly was on his mind.

"How did you know about the facility?" Hux asked sharply. That hadn't been knowledge that was widely known.

"Oh please," Rey responded with a raised brow as she turned back towards him. "I was a scavenger. We've known about the facility since we first started scavenging in the area. It wasn't too far off from the Graveyard, in fact, and you'd be surprised at how much of the facility was salvageable – still is, actually. There are plenty of parts there for the taking for those who risk going underground to fetch them. I often went when I was a child, small enough to fit through the cracks and crevices and holes.

"Anyway," she continued as she turned back to the holo-projector. "It's not _that_ , but it reminds me of the rumors that there was a cache of artifacts buried somewhere in the vicinity. I mean… they were kind of more than rumors, because one year a scavenger unearthed what seemed to be an ancient lightsaber and a pair of shackles. He lived for months off of the trade-in value."

Her voice had gained a hint of remembered envy, and Hux was suddenly reminded that she had nearly starved to death on that _damnable_ planet. He glared at the image of the planet before him, wishing that his _Starkiller_ was still around.

"They were found in that area, based on other scavengers collaborating to pinpoint the original finder's location on that day. The area that you say that the Resistance is at. It's not near any of the outposts or towns, or even the Starship Graveyard… so I'd say they're there looking for the cache." She nodded to herself, confident with her supposition. "I might be wrong, but it's something to go off of," she shrugged, turning to look at Hux as she awaited his response.

"Thank you, my lady," Hux replied after a moment. He noticed Major Davidson shoot him a glance from beneath the brim of her officer's cap at the unusual – though still appropriate – address, and he reminded himself to be more careful around his crew. It wasn't that he was ashamed of Rey, or Kylo, but his private life should be… well, _private_. As much as it could be on a ship that craved gossip, he supposed.

"Ready the units you have that are rated for hot weather conditions," Hux began.

"No," Rey interrupted.

She flushed slightly when everyone glanced at her in shock at interrupting the _General_ of all people, but kept her shoulders straight. "My apologies, General. Jakku may _look_ like a desert, and yes it had its hot portions of the day. But it's far colder than you imagine. The days are hot as a result of the sun pulling all moisture from the air, and the atmosphere is thin so that the sun _feels_ hot – the dangers during the day lie in heat stroke, dehydration, and sun burns. But the actual climate of Jakku is quite cold, believe it or not. The air itself, when not heated by the sun, turns unbelievably cold. At night, or during the rare few days where clouds appear, or during sand storms… the temperatures can drop below freezing. No one wants to be caught outside at night unless they're prepared."

Hux stared intently at her, pondering her words. He trusted what she was saying, but he was still curious as to why she was warning them ahead of time rather than just letting them find out on their own. He knew she didn't have much love for the First Order itself or their missions, and was mainly here because of her family… and now he and Kylo.

As if sensing his thoughts – he didn't feel her brushing against his mind, however – she gave him a tight smile and stated, "If I'm here, I may as well help out as best I can and show that I can be trusted for my capabilities and not just for my abilities in the Force and in battle."

Hux continued to stare at her, but his expression was more relaxed. He gave her a nod, but before he could speak, Captain Phasma did. "Thank you, Lady Rey. That will save me some trouble and will assist in my preparations. The General was correct in stating that your expertise would be helpful."

Hux's eyebrows nearly shot up to his hairline in surprise before he sculpted his features back to calmness. It took a lot for Phasma to respect someone, but it seemed like his Rey had climbed a long way up in Phasma's regard – and all in the span of less than half an hour.

Hux turned to Major Davidson. "Set a course for Jakku," he ordered. "Fast but stealthy, avoiding the populated paths and systems if at all possible. Call in the nearest three ships to rendezvous with us and coordinate so that we can arrive in orbit at the same time. We can determine the plan of attack once we receive more information, but inform our squad leaders and the upper echelon that we will be engaging in at least an orbital bombardment, likely followed by a ground assault." The Major nodded, saluted, and whirled to begin her preparations. "Captain, send in your teams anyway. They can get there ahead of us and scout the region so that we can be better prepared. If you need any more information on Jakku, I am sure that Lady Rey will be happy to oblige."

Rey nodded at Phasma as the Captain saluted Hux and then departed. Hux continued to stare at the image of Jakku displayed before them, Rey at his side.

"I didn't think I'd ever go back," she whispered, loud enough for him to hear.

Hux tilted his head at her inquisitively, beckoning with his body language for her to continue.

She did, continuing in the same whisper. "Once I found out my parents were First Order, and then _exactly_ who they were, there was no reason to think I'd ever go back to Jakku. I used to be so scared to leave." Her eyes darted around, looking around for anyone who could possibly overhear her confession. "I had been told they'd come back for me, thinking they were my parents."

Rage flashed across her features, clear as the stars around them, and Hux's gut clenched in sympathetic anger at the fact that those _bastard_ Skywalkers had abandoned a young child on a desert planet.

"So," she continued, calming herself a little. "I never left. I was scared they'd come back and I wouldn't be there. But… now I know the truth. And I'm going back to Jakku. It… feels odd."

Hux could only nod, not knowing what he could say to her, surrounded by his bridge crew. Yet… he could do something elsewhere. "Follow me," he stated as blandly as he could. He exited the bridge with her close behind him – he'd briefly considered bringing her to his office but that would _not_ help their privacy any – with his hands behind his back and his strides lazy in an affectation of boredom for anyone who cared to look… and plenty did. Being the General meant that there were always eyes watching.

Finally, he ducked into a conference room, checked that it was empty, and gestured for Rey to follow. As soon as she'd entered the room and closed the door behind her, he gathered her into his arms. She was stiff at first, but slowly she relaxed as he pressed his face into her hair. The feel of her body against his, even through their layers of clothes, affected him unbelievably, memories of that morning surfacing and replaying vividly in his mind.

Rey hummed happily as she pressed her lips against his throat, much as she pressed her lower body against his. He was _sure_ she could feel him semi-erect against her, and the pleased grin she shot up at him as she drew back was enough to confirm that.

"I wish we had the time," he answered her unspoken thoughts.

"Plus Kylo's not here," she replied mournfully. "I… wouldn't want to do anything like that without him here. I would feel guilty." She pouted – an expression he had rarely seen on her face – and he laughed.

She looked affronted before he explained. "You just looked cute. But I agree. Right now, at least, I think we need to move forward with all of us together. Unfortunately, it's a really busy time for us both, so you might not see us for a few days. But we'll make the time if we need to, when we can," he reassured her as he bent down to kiss her lightly on the lips.

As he pulled back, Rey looked up at him thoughtfully. He gave her the time to think, sensing that she had something to say but she was looking for the right words. Finally, she spoke. "I've decided I _would_ like to contact my parents," she said, her voice soft and insecure, as if she was worried about what her parents would think of her, what they would say, what they were like…

Honestly, he was a little worried as well. He'd heard things about her father, mainly from his father who was a peer of Commandant Coiro, and they didn't really put Hux at ease. But… hopefully he would be different with his long-lost daughter.

Military men were prone to… emotional withdrawal and coldness, though, he thought bitterly to himself.

"Are you sure?" he asked, pulling her against him again. He could feel her unsteady breaths as his arms wrapped around her thin form.

"Yes," she stated after a slight pause, her breath ghosting up against the skin of his neck above his collar. He shivered.

"Okay," he replied into her hair once more. "It's going to have to be by recorded video or voice from here, though. I've been contacting them via text, but I don't think you'll want that, as easy as it might seem. I think you need to see them as face-to-face as you're able to get, and that means video. You can take as long as you need to think up what you'd like to say, record it in your room, and then just forward it to me whenever you want to send it off. I promise I won't look," he joked lightly. Her only response was to wrap her arms around his waist and grip him tightly. "That okay with you?"

"Yeah," she confirmed. "Yeah, that's good with me." She pulled back from the circle of his arms. "One of your lieutenants is looking for you. They sound kind of panicked." She tapped her forehead, wiping her anxiety over her parents away with a quick grin and a shrug at the change of topic.

Hux chuckled. "I would be more freaked out if I wasn't used to Kylo doing that for _years_. It was like a competition for him – trying to catch the most inappropriate projections from my crew and then telling me exactly what was being thought. There have been a few… _reassignments_ over the years as a result.

Rey beamed at him. "I'll bet." She reached up to kiss him one last time, being careful not to muss his uniform, then turned him towards the door with a gentle shove. "Go on, I'll be okay. I'll see you around?"

"I'll see you around," Hux confirmed, gripping her hand with his one last time before he opened the door and left with a flutter of his greatcoat.

* * *

Rey watched from the rarely-used observation deck of the Knight's training facility as Kylo and a woman with vibrant red hair – Savat Ren, Kylo's second, Asha had told her – sparred in the corner of the large room. She'd pulled a chair right up next to the glass and had leant her head against it as she curled herself into the seat, staring at the newcomers as she thought.

She'd definitely needed some quiet time – and not just quiet… solitary, even. As much as it had been wonderful to spend time with Hux and Kylo, Rey was a creature of solitude and had learned when to listen to her mind and body when it told her it wanted space.

Rey didn't need to think about what had happened in bed that morning, or any of the day before, really – all she wanted to do was bask in the warmth and happiness that the memories elicited… as well as the flush of arousal that swept its way through her at the thought of doing it all over again… and _more_. She wanted so much to just fall back into bed with the two of them; to learn more about her body and theirs; to experience the mutual pleasure of it all… but she knew that it might be a while before they could get the chance to do so again. They'd been lucky, even, to have last night together.

There was so much to do. Some of which, apparently, included the Knights of Ren starting to arrive from other locations and ships. Asha had told her that four separate groups – a total of seven Knights and twenty-two trainees – had already arrived, and more were expected to arrive almost daily for the next couple of weeks.

Rey wasn't exactly sure what all that meant, though she was sure that Kylo would enlighten her soon enough. If he didn't, she'd be sure to pester him for the answer. Hopefully this time he would tell her the truth right away, she thought with a frown. He'd been much better and she had forgiven him, but… his lies had still stung her for the simple reason that he hadn't trusted her immediately with the truth.

Rey narrowed her eyes on Savat Ren as the long-haired woman was disarmed of her lightsaber by Kylo. She trusted Kylo when he'd told her that there was nothing between him and his second, but Rey was observant enough to notice that Savat, at least, harbored certain _feelings_ for the First Knight. It might just be sexual, with the way her gaze rested on Kylo… and Rey honestly couldn't blame her. Her Kylo was a sight to behold, especially when dueling.

But he was _hers_.

And Hux's of course, she reminded herself ruefully with a rather ridiculous grin. The important thing, though, was that Kylo was _not_ Savat's. She would bear watching, though hopefully she wouldn't have to intercede or point anything out to Kylo. She would much rather befriend the woman than get on her bad side. As Kylo's Apprentice, she was sure she'd be seeing a _lot_ of the woman, and working together with her closely, especially with how strong in the Force the other woman appeared to be.

It didn't mean she had to _like_ watching Savat mentally undress Kylo.

Rey sighed, kicking that thought by the wayside. There was no sense in dwelling on that issue; not right then, at least. She felt quite confident in Kylo's regard of her and, even though she had only just heard of Savat, she could pretty easily tell how Kylo felt about his second based only on his body language.

No, there was something else weighing even heavier on her mind, and it had been doing so even before the topic had brought itself up on the bridge earlier that afternoon.

Why was she affiliating herself with the First Order, of all things?

She'd asked herself that very question time and again, ever since she'd made the decision to turn herself over to their mercy. Many times she'd shunted the question clear out of her mind, choosing instead to focus on personal issues, growth, training, or just _nothing_ – anything had been better than trying to make sense of what she felt about the organization and its role in the galaxy.

At times, Rey had found herself asking certain questions that had touched on the topic to one degree or another – the Hosnian system, Han Solo's death… but there was still so much that had gone unexplored by her.

And here she was, about to throw herself face-first into a relationship with the First Order's two most powerful men.

Well, besides Supreme Leader Snoke, she thought as disgust twisted her lips. Things would be so much better if _he_ weren't around. She felt like the First Order would be much more… _tolerable_ in its ambitions if that maniac weren't at the head of the organization.

Rey wasn't exactly sure why smart men like Hux and Kylo were following him of all people, letting the man's manipulations determine the fate of the galaxy in a manner that would only rile more and more people up to join the Resistance if he weren't kept in check.

Perhaps there was something about him that inspired loyalty, though Rey couldn't see it. But… Rey also felt like maybe Hux and Kylo _did_ know what was going on… that they were aware of how messed up Snoke had become and that they were just biding their time until they could get rid of him for good and make the appropriate adjustments to the organization.

In fact, Rey was pretty confident that was _exactly_ what the two men were doing, though she'd have to wait and see. There was something about the way they'd acted when tip-toeing around the subject of Snoke, and the way Kylo had been while in Snoke's presence a few days ago, that had put the thought in her mind, and she couldn't quite shake it.

But what Rey knew for _sure_ was that she trusted Hux and Kylo nearly implicitly, even with some unknowns hanging over her and their heads about each other and their pasts and motivations. She followed _them_ , not the First Order. She was Kylo's Apprentice even before she was a Knight of Ren. Everything related directly back to _them_ , and not the organizations that they headed.

She trusted them. She trusted that they would make things right, even if the journey was fraught with screw-ups and a multitude of adjustments. They believed in what they were doing, she could tell. They believed that bringing order and peace to the galaxy was the important thing, and Rey believed in that as well.

She had come here for a chance at knowledge about her family – and ended up with so much more than she'd ever _hoped_ – and the possibility of training her abilities in the Force where Luke had denied her _everything_. She had come here for those simple reasons, but had found herself slowly coming to _believe_.

The galaxy _did_ need order. It was a mess, and she'd known this since she was a child, listening to the adults speak about the intergalactic news they received.

She'd known it since she was a child, growing up without the possibility of _justice_ to right the wrongs that were being done to her and those around her on a daily basis. Slaving away to barely scrape by on food alone, having to learn to defend herself so that she wouldn't be raped, beaten, or killed… even being on the other side and realizing there was no one to hold her accountable when she'd killed that other scavenger when she'd been twelve.

Jakku had been on the edge of the Core, ostensibly under the protection of the New Republic, and yet she had never once felt their magnanimous touch. It might have had grand ideals – at least before Hosnia had been wiped out – yet Rey knew from reading that the Republican ideals which it was being founded on… the same ideals of the Old Republic, which had led to its stagnation and corruption… were doomed to failure.

Perhaps it was time for something different.

Not the Empire, no… even though the First Order had been founded on old Imperial ideals, Rey had learned enough in her studies to recognize that many of the flaws had been ironed out or removed entirely. The First Order's controlled regions were run by a mix of military and elected officials with equal power. Rey didn't really know how effective this system was, because really… she wasn't that interested in politics. As long as there was justice and order, though, how it was put into place did not quite matter, did it?

Rey's mind suddenly flashed to an image of Finn, and the words Captain Phasma had uttered about the Stormtrooper training program. She grimaced. Well, there were certain things that Rey _really_ did not like about the First Order. She'd read up some on the training program, modeled after Hux's father's work, in fact. The Commandant's Cadets had influenced the program to the point that it was quite dissimilar from the training of the cloned Stormtroopers of old. That was perhaps its only saving grace, in Rey's mind. From what Finn had told her, there was still room for a certain degree of freedom and individuality within the program – though only to a certain point.

But plenty of other things about the program did _not_ sit well with her, no matter how much she tried to understand it. Perhaps, one day, she could ask Hux about it.

Or maybe Phasma.

That, maybe, was the better choice.

Rey grunted and closed her eyes, pressing her palms into her eyelids. She was _tired_ of thinking. She just wanted to go to bed and rest, but her mind wouldn't let her. She'd much rather _share_ the bed and be distracted from her thinking, but unfortunately that wasn't an option at the moment.

Rey opened her eyes and looked back down at the training room. She must not have been paying attention for quite some time, as everyone was gone and the only ones left in the room were Savat, Kylo… and Hux.

When had _he_ arrived?

Rey gazed down at the three of them as they conversed, and was reminded of one of her earlier thoughts. She was about to pass the point of no return with arguably the two most powerful men in the galaxy. She was about to give herself fully to these two men, and here she was musing on her _feelings_ for them, and why that translated into forgiving them for the deaths of millions of people, even during war time.

Rey had once scoffed at the tales of damsels forgiving the men who they were in a relationship with, all because of the power of love. She had felt that this foreign concept of love had no place in her life; that she couldn't understand why anyone would ever compromise even a smidgen of their ideals for a mere _man._ Yet… what if that was what this was? Looking back on how her thoughts had changed for these men, how _they_ had changed for her, even… she was reminded uncomfortably of all the things she had laughed at in her childhood.

The parallels were there, but she didn't think she could accept them just yet.

There was no _way_ that she could love these two men – not like the tales described. There was no way any of that could be real.

She _did_ know, however, that she felt compassion and caring for both Kylo and Hux. That she worried and felt pain of her own whenever they were in pain – either physical or emotional. That she would do _anything_ to protect them, if necessary – even kill. That they would do the same. That –

That… had to be what love was, wasn't it? Rey's eyes widened at she realized she was describing what she, herself, had always imagined love to be. From tales, songs, holonovels, and holovids alike, she'd pieced together her own version of what love must be, even if she'd only ever applied it to what she'd hoped her parents had felt for her.

But…

Rey's eyes met Hux's through the glass, and he smiled softly at her. A moment later, Rey caught and held Kylo's gaze. They must have known she was there, watching, to have found her eyes so easily in the dark of the observation room. Savat Ren had turned around and was walking towards a weapon rack, and Kylo and Hux took the opportunity to let emotion color their eyes and features as they looked at Rey. Her eyes flicked back and forth between both of theirs, and her breath caught in her throat at what she saw there.

Maybe…

Yes, maybe that's what this all was.

The thought frightened her and so she sent back a shaky smile and wave before their attention was called back to Savat Ren. She hoped that they couldn't see the nuances of her expression where she was hidden in the dark; she was sure that she would have worried them with what was likely plastered all across her features. She couldn't control anything right now.

For that matter… Rey's eyes widened as she ducked her head away from the window. She really hoped she hadn't been projecting right then. She slammed walls up in her mind as quickly as she could and hoped that Kylo had been far enough away, or not concentrating on her thoughts at that moment.

Rey fled to her rooms before they had the chance to look up again, grasping desperately for the meditative techniques she had at her disposal to calm her racing heart and mind.

* * *

 **Note: Sorry this one's not quite as fun as the last chapter was! But hopefully you still appreciate the really important bits in Rey's thoughts, and like the plot that's coming up. I'm juggling lots of threads here!**


	21. Insubordination

Everything happened so fast.

One moment, Rey was sparring with Kylo, learning from scratch a series of advanced lightsaber techniques. It was a week after their return to the _Finalizer_ from their shore leave, and Rey had hardly seen him – or Hux, for that matter. They'd both been so busy with their respective duties that she'd only ever seen them in passing.

The next moment found Rey lunging around him and pinning a human male she'd never even seen before against the ground with her boot on his wrist and her lightsaber against his throat. The man's grip on his bare dagger loosened and it clattered to the ground.

She wasn't even quite sure how she'd gotten there, but Rey was _furious_.

She knew he'd meant Kylo harm – she had seen it in his eyes during the brief moment where he'd met her gaze – and that was _inexcusable_. How dare someone try to take away the man she was just now accepting she might _love_? "Master," she growled, never once taking her eyes off the man beneath her. "He was attempting to attack you – to _kill_ you. I could sense it. He must die. Let me do it," she finished with a savage plea.

 _No one_ would harm her men while she was watching. Rey knew enough from Kylo's teachings that this attempt would be met with execution, and _she_ wanted to be the one to dole out the punishment. For once, she had no issue with capital punishment.

Funny how everything changed perspective when it was someone you cared about who was the potential victim.

"No," Kylo's voice rang out into the heavy silence that had fallen around them. Everyone – more than fifty individuals, last Rey had looked – had frozen, their eyes fixed on the corner where Rey had been trying to train inconspicuously with Kylo.

Rey's eyes snapped up to Kylo's in shock, but her words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. "What do you mean, _'no'_?" she cried out, loud enough for every last soul to hear. She would _not_ be denied – she would have her revenge.

"You will stand _down_ , Apprentice." Kylo's voice had taken on a deadly stillness. He expected to be obeyed; _demanded_ to be obeyed... but Rey refused. She could not let this stand - she was so consumed with the desire to enact her own version of justice, that she ignored his order.

Rey snarled and lifted her lightsaber, ready to swing it downwards –

She was frozen in place as soon as she started the down-stroke.

Kylo stepped in front of her gaze so that she could clearly see the disappointed – and _very_ angry – expression on his face, his hand outstretched to freeze her mid-swing. Rey reached out desperately with her mind, immediately attempting to reconcile herself with him, but he had shut her out as cleanly as if she did not have the Force at all.

She could not speak. She could not connect. All she could do was watch and listen as he addressed her – in front of _everyone_.

Rey could feel through the pressure of her boot on his wrist that the attacker was still pinned beneath her, likely frozen in place by the Force alongside Rey. She had never seen him before, so he was obviously one of the newly arrived Knights or trainees.

Kylo lifted his other hand and almost lazily pulled Rey's lightsaber from her hand and into his, thumbing it off and clipping it to his belt before turning sideways, away from her. His cool gaze swept across the assembled Knights, as if looking for any more threats, before he spoke up.

"Before I address this _betrayal_ … Rey, you need to know that there is no event whatsoever that should ever lead you to disobey a direct command by your Master. You, Apprentice, must know your place, and it is _not_ to question the will of your Master. You will obey or suffer the consequences." He did not once look at her; did not once lift the shroud he'd covered his mind with. His voice was toneless and impersonal, as if he were speaking to a pet that was of no consequence to him. This was already wholly humiliating, but to have him treat her as if there was _nothing_ between them… like none of the events of the last few weeks had occurred… it was like a kick in the gut.

Rey could feel derision and delight at seeing her put in her place coming from some of those in the room. They made no effort to conceal their thoughts; at least, the trainees didn't. The Knights had better mental conditioning than that, even if they did not have access to the Force. Rey felt her cheeks flushing with humiliation and embarrassment – she was _frozen_ in place in front of everyone, and being reprimanded for something she'd done while trying to protect a man she cared for deeply.

All of her hard work at gaining the respect of the trainees and Knights over the last months, and now getting off on the wrong foot entirely with the new arrivals… Rey could feel everything slipping away from her.

"Since this disobedience was done in an effort to protect the honor of your Master…" Kylo continued, finally turning his head to look at her over his shoulder. His eyes were flinty still, though his words heralded somewhat of a reprieve for her. Perhaps there would be no punishment besides _this_. "That will be taken into consideration while I decide what your punishment will be. _You_ , however…" His eyes flicked downwards to the man who was still cowering beneath the constant pressure of Rey's boot on his wrist.

Suddenly Rey was unfrozen and she stumbled backwards as feeling rushed back into her body. She barely kept herself upright – it would have made everything so much worse than it already was to have fallen on her rear in front of everyone – and pulled herself straight so that she was standing with her shoulders squared and her chin tilted up. Kylo wasn't looking at her, but she could feel the eyes of plenty of others on her, watching her every move. She refused to meet their eyes, wanting instead to flee the room and find somewhere quiet to _think_ – but knowing that she couldn't. She couldn't risk leaving without Kylo's permission, and she knew she didn't have it.

Now was not the time to push it.

Kylo unfroze the man as well and Rey watched as he slowly rose to his feet of his own volition, wiping the dirt from his clothes as he did so, and keeping his expression carefully neutral. Rey would almost respect the man for all that if he hadn't just tried to _kill_ the man she cared for – even if she were mad at him in that moment.

"Kalex Ren," Kylo drawled, his eyes narrowing dangerously and contemptuously as he started to walk forward. He circled the brown-haired Knight slowly, studying him up and down. The edge of Kylo's robe fluttered against Rey's shins as he moved past her, but she refused to step back.

He did not look her way, focusing intently on the prey before him.

Once he arrived back in front of Kalex, Kylo's hand shot out and framed the other man's face without touching him with his gloves. Rey had the perfect vantage point over Kalex's shoulder to see the look on Kylo's face – it was the exact same one as when he had gotten into _her_ mind all those years ago… but angrier; more volatile. It wasn't until that moment that Rey realized Kylo had almost treated her with compassion and curiosity during that fateful meeting – perhaps the recent change in their relationship contributed to her better understanding that moment upon reflection.

"Oh Kalex… you know that you cannot resist me. You have no Force-sensitivity, and even if you did I would break down whatever walls you placed between us. That's it; that's good. There is honor in meeting your fate with dignity. You always were someone I respected… even now, after all this… after you have betrayed me… I can respect you. Though, really, attacking me in the open like this? I thought you had been trained better than that by our former First Knight." Kylo's eyes drifted shut and a brief flash of pain crossed his features before he opened his eyes again and stared at the man before him in anger. "So, the Resistance got to you… wormed their way into your confidence? Or did you reach out to them? Ah… the latter. I should not have left you alone for so long, with no one to check up on you," he said, almost regretfully.

Kylo's eyes quickly surveyed the room around him. "If there are any more of you," he announced loudly, his voice frigid, "I will find you. And I will kill you."

Rey shivered, feeling as if the temperature in the room had dropped. Rey knew she had no reason to be afraid of Kylo, and yet she felt a frisson of fear roll down her spine.

And anger – there was a _lot_ of anger suddenly filling Rey, as she realized the implication of what Kylo had found inside Kalex's mind. The Resistance had been behind this attempt on Kylo's life. The Resistance, who had always tried to say that they were the embodiment of honor and loyalty and integrity, even in times of war, had sent an _assassin_.

How was _that_ honorable?

Though really, she should not be that surprised, she reminded herself. Leia and Luke had killed one child and kidnapped another when they had attempted to keep her out of the hands of the First Order, years and years ago.

At least Kylo and Hux had never tried to hide what they did from her, even from the start – at least not how they, the First Order, and the Knights operated. Yes, they might employ spies and assassins, but they never denied it. They never made grand speeches touting their integrity and honor while secretly carrying on assassinations and kidnappings.

"Savat Ren," Kylo called for his second without taking eyes off of his target.

Rey was shook out of her thoughts at hearing his voice ring out through the training room. She watched as the redhead made her way from the back of the crowd, prowling through the assembled Knights and trainees and weaving through them almost effortlessly.

"Yes, Master Kylo?" she asked as she arrived at his side, raising a brow at Kalex, who stood tall before her.

"Our rules demand confirmation of intent before execution," was all he said. It was all that _needed_ to be said, as it appeared Savat knew exactly what he meant.

"Yes Master," she replied even as she lifted her hand towards Kalex. He didn't flinch, standing there stolidly in acceptance of what was to come. Savat's bare fingers brushed against the man's temple and she closed her eyes in concentration, focusing internally on the man in question.

After a few moments she opened her eyes and stepped back, her brown eyes glinting furiously. She raised her voice so that the entire room could hear her, though she did not take her eyes off of Kalex the entire time. "Confirmation of intent is seconded – he is a traitor, and intended to kill our Master while his back was turned, outside of our normal laws."

The Knights were silent all around them, though Rey could feel the anger and _hurt_ at the betrayal of one of their own filling the room.

Without saying a word, Kalex dropped to his knees with his hands clutched together behind his back. Kylo stepped forward, withdrawing his lightsaber and igniting it so that its spitting and crackling provided a – rather fitting – backdrop to his words. "Do you have any last words, Kalex, former Knight of Ren?"

Kalex was silent for a moment before he spoke, loud enough only so that Kylo, Savat, and Rey could hear. "Your mother sends her regards, though it saddens her immensely to have to resort to this." He dropped his head so that his neck was parallel to the ground, accepting of his fate.

Grief warred with rage on Kylo's expression before rage won out seconds later. He lifted his lightsaber and brought it down to slice effortlessly through the man's neck. The wound was instantly cauterized, the smell of burnt flesh permeating the air a moment later, and his head rolled forward across the floor even as the rest of his body slumped to the side and fell.

Savat Ren stopped the head from rolling further with her boot, flicking her gaze down at it before she kicked it lightly back towards the body. "Good riddance," she growled. She glanced at Kylo, who was busy staring at the body, trying to control his breathing as he gripped his lightsaber. It looked as if he wanted to rip into more than the flesh that he had just sliced through, but was struggling to control himself in front of everyone.

Savat turned to two nearby trainees. "You, and you," she pointed at them. "Get rid of the body – an airlock will do – and then return to your Masters for further instructions for the day. Everyone else, as you were. _Now_!" she snapped out the last word, as no one seemed to be moving quickly enough for her tastes. With one last glance at Kylo, Savat turned to meet Rey's gaze. She held it momentarily, though gave no indication of her thoughts, and then turned and left the same way she had arrived.

She left Kylo by himself, staring into the distance, with only Rey for company.

Rey was torn.

She didn't know what emotion to feel.

Various thoughts and emotions were vying for dominance in her mind, swirling over and over in an endless loop within her. She stared at Kylo as she was wrought with anger and _horror_ that a mother could ever decide to send an assassin after her own _son_. Yes, this was war… but there needed to be _lines_. That was one… that was one Rey was sure she'd never be able to cross, if she ever had children of her own – in fact, it was a line she vowed, then and there, never to cross. That Leia could do something like that, and do it so impersonally… Yes, Kylo had killed his father, Leia's husband, but that had been during an attack on Kylo's base, and it had been done face-to-face… not when he wasn't looking.

He'd known exactly what had stood before him.

It wasn't the _same_.

Immediately on the heels of that thought was the fact that Kylo had just killed someone right in front of her – in front of _everyone_. She thought she might have been more upset at that fact… but coupled with who had sent the Knight, and who the target had been, Rey could only feel anger – anger at the man himself and anger at the fact that _she_ hadn't been the one to strike the killing blow. Killing was necessary, sometimes, and Rey had seen plenty of it in her lifetime. She had even seen Kylo kill back on D'Qar, bare yards separating them as he committed to the killing blows. She was no stranger to killing people herself, either, even before tying her fate to Kylo and Hux, the Knights and the First Order.

So, no… that didn't bother her really at all – though part of her wondered if there was something wrong with her – that maybe it _should_ bother her more than it did.

Shaking her head, Rey took a step towards Kylo, lifting her hand towards his face hesitantly, as if she were unsure of how he would react. His eyes lifted up to hers in a snap and Rey was struck by the cool, impersonal look he was giving her, as if she were a stranger intruding on his personal space – and he did _not_ like it one whit. Rey dropped her hand, suddenly reminded of the utter _humiliation_ he had made her feel earlier. She clenched her hands into fists and looked away.

Now was _not_ a good time, it seemed, to offer him comfort. Especially not in front of others.

"May I be excused, Master?" she said, failing to keep her own coolness out of her voice. She didn't care if she were reprimanded for it – she wanted him to know, as best as she was able at the moment, how utterly _pissed_ she was at the shame he'd heaped on her publicly.

"Go," was all he said, his voice devoid of emotion. His lightsaber crackled and hissed for another moment before he thumbed it off.

Rey was almost more scared that it didn't seem like he would throw a tantrum, but he had told her to go, and so she left. He had humiliated her – though she had to admit that it was deserved for she had countermanded a direct order, she wished that he hadn't been so… _impersonal_ about it, or that he hadn't done it in front of _everyone._

But…

Rey exited the training room, making her way for one of the alcoves with a viewport looking out on the stars that she had found a few weeks ago. But, Rey was forced to admit that Kylo needed to maintain the appearance of strength and power and being _obeyed_ – especially by his own Apprentice. He had to show that he would not let personal attachments – and Rey was sure that nearly every last Knight knew about their budding relationship, however it was that they had come to learn of it – get in the way of his duties. He had to show that he wasn't weak, or else he would be challenged again and again for his position – and then _killed_ if he lost.

Rey gritted her teeth.

She might not _like_ what he had done to her, but she could understand it to a certain degree. There was no way she wanted Kylo to _die_ on account of his relationship with her and Hux. She understood that. But… it was hard to let go of her anger at the humiliation he had caused her.

She didn't quite know how to handle that.

Finally arriving at the alcove, she propped her elbow on the sill, her chin in her palm, and stared out at the stars, letting them calm her as best they could.

* * *

"Hux," came Kylo's voice through the commlink. He sounded tired and dejected, and Hux raised his eyebrows at the man even though he knew he wouldn't be able to see it.

"Yes?" he drawled, not letting on through his voice that he was concerned for the man. There were too many people surrounding him in the halls.

"It's about Rey," Kylo replied shortly.

Hux blinked at the commlink, his worry ramping up even more than before. "Hang on, let me duck into a more private setting. I was just on my way back from the bridge, but I'm still in the halls."

Kylo didn't reply; he simply let Hux navigate his way into the office of one of his subordinates – empty, thank goodness – and reply when he was ready. "What is it? I finally finish catching up on all my work and you two are causing trouble?" he teased lightly, just enough that Kylo would notice and no one else, as he tried to lighten the mood.

Kylo sighed, and Hux was even _more_ worried. "What?"

"She's angry at me. I haven't seen her since the… incident earlier this morning, and she's shut herself off from me. I can't find her, and I don't want to push, but I'd like to make amends. Could you find her and… bring her to me in my quarters, along with yourself?"

Hux clenched his free hand into a fist. He'd heard about the assassination attempt on Kylo through the grapevine. At first he'd been upset that Kylo hadn't told him himself, but had understood why he might not have wanted to talk about it. That anger had quickly morphed into anxiety that he had nearly _lost_ Kylo, before they could even truly get to know each other more intimately. Anger that he had nearly lost someone he _cared_ for, and he hadn't even been there to possibly prevent it.

"Wait. What do you mean, she's angry with you? What did you do?" Hux asked sharply, shoving everything else aside for the moment.

Kylo was silent for a moment before replying wearily, "You know how the Knights have started pushing me a little? Testing me? They've seen how Rey and… well, they've seen that I have a weakness now, and thus think that _I_ am weak. And they believe that I allow her too much leeway. I've heard whispers. I'd been ignoring them, but watching Rey, and so far she's given me no cause to reprimand her. Well, until today. During the incident she disobeyed a direct order from me in front of nearly _everyone_ on board so far, and I had to… discipline her."

Hux clenched his eyes shut, imagining exactly how well that had gone over with Rey. "You didn't," he said finally, though he knew that Kylo wouldn't lie about something like that. "What did you do?"

"Just reprimanded her verbally in front of everyone," Kylo answered, his tone defensive. "I had to, for her sake as well as mine."

Hux was still surprised at the whole incident. "I understand the need for discipline," he replied curtly. "I just didn't expect insubordination from Rey. She's smarter than that." He frowned, tapping his chin idly with the fingers of one hand. He'd had to discipline subordinates before, for their sake as well as for his own reputation, to prevent future occurrences. Even though the thought of Kylo having to do that to Rey, of all people, was a little painful, he understood that it would be safer for her – and for Kylo – in the long term… even if it _did_ cause her anger in the short term. "I'll see if I can find her," he finally agreed.

Kylo huffed angrily, sounding as if he wanted to _order_ Rey to appear before him, and Hux cut in before he could speak. "I'm doing this as a favor Kylo, to help our… to help Rey. There are plenty of other people you could have had fetch her, besides the _General_ of all people, but I understand why you're asking me. I'll see what I can do."

Before he could shut the commlink down, Kylo muttered a barely-heard 'thank you,' and closed the commlink on his end.

Hux rubbed the bridge of his nose before making sure his uniform was tidy and straight, and then stepped back out into the hall. He started walking towards the training facilities, but brought his commlink up to contact Davidson. Maybe she could help him find Rey through the video feeds – and she'd be discreet about it, too.

That was all he could ask.

* * *

He found her propped up against the ledge of a viewport in an alcove – set in a hallway where she'd last been seen on the video feeds. She was sleeping, and had been for who knew how long – so he took a moment to observe her form with a smile before waking her up. He touched her shoulder lightly with the tips of his gloved fingers.

Rey startled awake, jumping up so quickly that Hux had to jump back a few feet to avoid her flailing arms. She reached for her hip to a lightsaber that was curiously not there, and then frowned angrily as she dropped her eyes to her belt.

Crossing her arms, she looked up at Hux, her eyes finally catching up to who was standing in front of her. She relaxed slightly, though she was still frowning. "What?" she asked grumpily.

Hux raised an eyebrow at her – damn it, he was doing that often around her and Kylo both – and replied. "I was sent to check up on you, and see if you were willing to accompany me."

"By who? To where?" she asked suspiciously. "No wait, don't answer that. To _Master_ Kylo's."

Hux paused before asking quietly, in a gentler tone, "You're really mad at him, aren't you?"

"Yes!" she answered quickly, her eyes narrowing. Though moments later her shoulders drooped and she brought one hand up to cover her eyes. "No, I'm not. Well, kind of. I… understand why he had to do what he did. I think. But… the _way_ he did it, so impersonally, so _cold_ … in front of everyone? It humiliated me." She dropped her hand and met Hux's gaze, and he could see the sadness in her eyes, mixed with the dregs of the anger he'd expected.

"I understand," Hux whispered. "Will you come with me? Kylo and I both have the rest of the evening off, and we can all speak more privately in his quarters if you're willing to see him. But if you don't want to, I will make your excuses for you, and support you in that decision."

Rey looked at him for a long moment with a calculating gaze that reminded him so much of Kylo that it was eerie. Finally, she nodded. "Let's go."

Hux led Rey through the halls, walking in silence the entire way to Kylo's quarters. Most everyone was at dinner at this hour, but Hux couldn't drum up any hunger whatsoever.

"Are you hungry?" was the only thing he'd asked.

"No," she'd replied, sounding as if she were surprised at her answer.

Hux nearly asked her if it was because she'd never really _not_ been hungry before, but chose instead to hold that question back. He felt it was a rather… _rude_ question to ask while walking the halls, but he also didn't really _want_ to ask her – for fear of what she'd answer with.

Grateful that there was no one in the hall when they arrived, Hux used his override code on Kylo's door panel – something he'd never done on Kylo's quarters before, mainly out of respect – and ushered Rey in before him. "Kylo?" he called out. He may have used his code, but he would at least offer the man the courtesy of alerting him to their presence.

"In here." Kylo's voice came from the back of the hall leading from the entranceway. Kylo's quarters were arranged differently than both Hux's and Rey's and, although Hux had been here a couple of times in the past, Rey found herself looking around at the layout curiously. There were a few open doors off of the light-grey hallway, leading to an open living room, an extra refresher, an armory – though that one was closed, Hux knew what lay behind that door – and even a kitchen. There was one room to the right of the hall, just before the large bedroom at the end, that had always been closed and locked – and today was no exception.

Hux had always been curious as to what was behind that door. He had some guesses, based on knowledge of Kylo's past and rumors that he'd heard, but he valued his life too much to pry where he knew he was not welcome.

Rey eyed it curiously and was about to open her mouth to ask what was inside the door, just as she'd done with the armory, but they were too close to where Kylo could easily hear them and he gripped her upper arm and held a finger up to his lips, shaking his head. She immediately understood, though she pursed her lips before nodding.

He dropped his hand from her arm, squared his shoulders, and entered into Kylo's bedroom with her following right behind.

* * *

Kylo looked up from where he sat on the edge of his bed as they entered his room. He'd stripped down to pants and a tank top, both in black, and was busy oiling a lightsaber – Rey's lightsaber… _Vader's_ lightsaber.

It felt odd in his hands, but he couldn't seem to keep from touching it.

Hux stood slightly to the side of the entranceway, letting Rey enter and get a full glimpse of him sitting on the bed. His eyes brushed over Hux briefly before settling on Rey. He said nothing, and she said nothing… they simply stared at each other. Her gaze was guarded, and he could still sense nothing from her mind.

Slowly, he wiped down the lightsaber a final time, careful not to hit the switch, and then set the cloth down before offering it to Rey, palm up.

Rey looked startled for a moment, as if she hadn't expected to get it back, and then tentatively walked forward until she was standing directly in front of Kylo and he was forced to look up into her face. She was looking at the lightsaber in his hand, but hadn't taken it yet, so Kylo lifted his other hand and gripped her wrist to draw her forward another step. He placed the hilt in her grip, wrapping her fingers around it.

Only then did she speak, as she drew her hand back and clipped the hilt to her belt. "Thank you. I hadn't expected it back so soon." She drew in a shuddering breath as if she was gathering courage, and Kylo watched her face closely. She looked as if she couldn't quite believe what she was about to say, but met his eyes in any case.

"I'm sorry," she let out on a breath. "I shouldn't have done that, putting you on the spot in front of everyone where you were forced to make an example out of your disobedient Apprentice, and –"

She was cut off with a startled squeak as Kylo pulled her down cross-wise onto his lap, one arm around her back and the other over top of her shins to hold her in place. He buried his face into her hair and spoke before she could start up again. "It's okay. I'm sorry, too. I could have gone about that in a much better fashion, but…"

"But what?" she asked sharply, catching on that there was something more at work.

Kylo sighed heavily. "The Knights think I'm growing soft, especially where you're concerned. For your safety, and mine – and Hux's, actually – I needed to demonstrate power over you in a harsh way, and also needed to make a show of strength in general. Oddly enough, that assassination attempt couldn't have come at a better time, but I'm sorry you had to get caught up in it all."

Rey pulled her head back to look him in the eye, one hand reaching up to caress his jawline. "Oh Kylo… I'm sorry about what happened." Her face immediately went from saddened to angry at the memory. "What he said was _awful_ –"

"Shh," he cut her off quickly.

He didn't want to explore that.

He wasn't _ready_ to explore that just yet.

Unfortunately, it was too late, and Hux had crossed the room in quick strides to sit beside him on the bed. "What did he say, Kylo?" Hux demanded. He paused briefly, then asked another question, "You've done a recent sweep for listening and video devices, I presume?"

Kylo nodded curtly and then sighed again. The General would learn soon enough at least part of the story, so he may as well tell him the rest. "I'll tell you, and then we move on. I don't want to dwell on this topic – not tonight. There's already enough that I want to talk about, and I have hardly had _any_ time to hold either of you in my arms of late – or just to spend time with you alone."

He continued before they could react to that, closing his eyes even as he pulled Rey in against his chest, tucking her head under his chin. "A Knight attacked me; one who had switched allegiance to the Resistance. Rey prevented the attack. You heard most of that I'm sure, though maybe not the part about the Resistance. In any case, he told me, with his last words, that my… that General Organa sends her _regards_. That she wished it hadn't come to this."

Rey let out a choked sound, as if she wished to speak, but controlled the urge. Kylo was immensely grateful for that. Hux, however, had stilled, and Kylo could sense the fury rising in him. Before it could get out of hand – before Hux could order attacks that would likely be ridiculously ill-advised at the moment – Kylo leaned over, with Rey still on his lap, and captured Hux's lips in a quick kiss.

It was just long enough to calm Hux down by the time Kylo drew back, and he accepted with a nod when Kylo said, "I don't want to talk about it right now. What I do want to talk about," he continued, propping Rey's feet over Hux's legs so that the other man could sit closer, "Is why the Knights are here."

Hux cast him a startled glance at the same time as Rey lifted her head and exclaimed, "Finally!"

Kylo smirked at Rey and rubbed his fingers up and down her legs beneath her loose training pants. "Well, it's more than just the Knights. I hope you will forgive me – forgive us – but we held back on telling you one of our… larger plans until we could be sure of some of the particulars. We weren't exactly sure how you would react to it, either, though now we are much more confident in how you feel on the subject."

Rey was listening to him, wide-eyed, leaning back from him slightly so that she could see everything that crossed his face.

Hux spoke up, "Are you sure you want to go into this now?"

Rey shot him a glare. "You both promised not to keep things from me."

"Okay, okay, you're right," Hux replied quickly, arching a brow at her even as his lips twitched upwards. "I didn't mean anything by it."

Kylo picked up his hand and waved it between their faces, calling attention back to him before he dropped his hand back to Rey's thigh. "Just, let me speak and then you can react, okay Rey?"

She nodded, continuing to hold herself back so that she could watch his face. She already looked slightly suspicious, though mostly curious. Kylo averted his eyes slightly so that he wouldn't see every nuance that crossed Rey's features as he explained the situation.

He glanced down briefly as Hux's hand joined his where it rested on Rey's thigh. Hux rubbed his thumb across the back of Kylo's fingers, helping to soothe his nervous energy.

"I called the Knights home – to the _Finalizer_ , that is – as part of a contingency plan I've had in place for years. We – Hux and I – only recently decided to join our resources together in this venture. We'll be patrolling on the _Finalizer's_ normal route, though obviously making for Jakku, but then we will be plotting a course into First Order space with as many ships as we can be sure of whose General's loyalties fall with us. In the meantime, I will be – and hopefully with your help, Rey – determining the loyalties of my own Knights. The Knights have always been a separate entity, and loyal to their Master alone, but recently there has been a bit of a blurring of the lines, if you will… though I have tried my best to prevent it from occurring, it is hard to do so when we are tied so tightly with the First Order."

He took a breath, thinking of the best way to speak his next words. "While we were quite sure of your feelings on the matter, like I said, we wanted to wait for a few things to fall into place before we spoke. It's a delicate matter, and will require you to guard your thoughts more than ever before. You've done much better of late, but occasionally, still, you project a touch too much. We're… well, we're going to kill Snoke." He didn't quite know what to say after that admission, and a heavy silence descended upon the room. Hux clutched his fingers once and then continued to rub his knuckles, and Rey practically stopped breathing.

In the quiet, Rey's mind finally opened and brushed against his, as if testing the veracity of his words. Kylo wordlessly offered her what memories he thought she might wish to see, but she did nothing with them. Instead, she chose to accept him at his word – or rather, accept the conviction he pushed at her through the Force.

"Why?" was all she finally said, separating from his mind again as she asked, though not shutting down like she had before. She was there if he wanted to reach out, which he took comfort in knowing, but he left her mind alone for the moment.

Kylo knew exactly what she was asking. He'd never said the words aloud, but found that he suddenly, desperately, wanted to speak them. He gripped Hux's hand and placed it over Rey's knee so that the other man could balance her over their laps, and then reached up with his free hand to grip her chin so that he could bring her eyes to meet his. "He threatened you," he said simply. Yet, those words weren't enough on their own, even as she frowned.

He tried again, attempting to put his feelings into words like he never had before. "He… something recently came to light. When paired with my history with _Snoke_ ," he spat the name, "and his implied threats towards you, we knew we had to do something. Especially with… especially with how much I – _we_ – care for you."

"What happened?" she asked quietly. "If I can ask," she amended immediately, her eyes darting to the side as she blushed, embarrassed.

"You may," Kylo said. He was quiet for another moment, gathering his thoughts. She let him, staring deeply into his eyes. "Years and _years_ ago, shortly after I joined the Knights… I had a lover. A woman named Janna. She was important to me in a way that other lovers I'd had weren't. She was… killed, and it didn't take me more than a few years to realize that Snoke had been behind it. But I couldn't _prove_ it. I still technically can't," he growled, frustrated. "It's long in the past, but…" He stopped short as a tear leaked out of the corner of one of Rey's eyes.

"Are you… crying for _me_?" he asked incredulously. He had expected jealousy, perhaps even anger, maybe a touch of sadness, but _this_ …

She nodded frantically, her eyes starting to swim with more tears. "That's so _awful_ ," she whispered eventually. Her eyes darted towards Hux and he must have been having problems controlling his own expressions, because suddenly Rey was asking, bewildered, "You too?"

Kylo looked towards Hux, and sure enough there was an expression of anger crossing his face. "Yes," he choked out. "I… hadn't known until about a month ago. He… Snoke rubbed it in my _face_ as he threatened you with the same fate as Leif, just to keep me in line. He has to _go_ ," he growled.

Rey looked back and forth between the two of them, her expression more open and honest than they'd seen it before even as she tensed on his lap and under Hux's hands. "I'm… oh my _stars_ , I'm so sorry that that happened. He… _fuck_ ," she bit out, anger coloring her voice and features. "He needs to go; you're right. I already felt that he needed to go – he's ruining the cause of the First Order, and is just _insane_ , but this…" Her features hardened. "This is unforgivable. For what he did to you, he needs to die. And _soon_ ," she snarled.

Kylo couldn't help but let a corner of his lips curl up in a slight smile as he let out a soft breath of laughter. Her eyes shot back to his and he spoke up before she could lay into him. "I'm pleased that you're on board this with us, but your spunk and enthusiasm is… well, honestly, it's kind of _cute_ , though it needs to be toned down before you go haring off after Snoke by yourself – which would _not_ work," he cautioned seriously.

Rey's expression was caught between laughter and anger, but she settled on a mixture of the two as she lifted one of her hands from her lap and lightly smacked his chest. "Kylo!" she gasped out in disbelief. "Don't… don't call me cute at a moment like this!"

"Hmmm," Hux cut in. "But you _are_ , and we're tired of talking. You agree, we agree, and that's enough for now." He trailed his hand up her legs and then up to her belt where he unclipped it and let it drop to the floor. "Now… I believe we all have the rest of the night off?" he asked happily.

Rey gasped as Kylo suddenly stood, Hux following him a moment later. He turned around and tossed her on top of the covers of his bed, her black clothes blending in nearly seamlessly with the sheets. She lay there, simply looking up at them in bewilderment – but also with increasing arousal as the men started to divest themselves of their clothes. Kylo felt frantic, and all it took was a quick glimpse of Hux's eyes to see the desperation within him as well. They were caught up in the memories of their lost lovers, and faced with the reminder that their current one wasn't safe and protected as surely as she should be.

Kylo was the first to strip fully, having been wearing a lot less clothes than Hux was in his uniform. Hux was also taking the time to drape his clothes over the back of Kylo's chair, in an effort to preserve them from wrinkles.

Kylo rolled his eyes at Hux even as he placed one knee onto the bed, skimming his hands up Rey's legs. He pulled his hands back and began to unlace and pull off her boots before he returned to her pants. They were halfway down her legs, revealing inch after inch of delectable skin, by the time Hux knelt on the bed beside Rey and began to pull her tunic and shirt off over her head.

She didn't try to cover herself, but she did try to reach towards Hux's erection, so near her face, with a hungry look glazing her eyes over. Hux reached down and quickly grabbed her wrists, pinning them above her head as he leaned over her. "Not today, sweetheart… let us do this for you. Well, not just for you. We take pleasure from giving you pleasure, and we need to… Kylo, a little help?" Hux, normally very verbose, failed to find the right words, and instead dropped his guard and let Kylo skim his thoughts, as they'd occasionally done in the past.

Kylo trailed kisses up Rey's outer thigh before stopping at her hip and speaking against her skin as she squirmed beneath him. "What he's trying to say – and what I agree with completely – is that we just need to be reminded that you are safe and sound; that you're in our arms and _real_. Let _us_ give to you, and don't worry about our pleasure right now." Kylo normally would have laughed at the ridiculously romantic _drivel_ coming out of his and Hux's mouths, but for once he had no urge to do so – he was completely serious.

A small part of him was frightened at that, but he ran away from the thought by latching onto one of Rey's nipples with his mouth as he angled himself onto his side on the bed beside her.

Hux mirrored him on her other side, dropping her hands before he lay down, and her breathless gasp turned into a gasping moan. Kylo ground against Rey's hip at the sound and watched with heavy lids as Hux's mouth pulled on the bud in mimicry of Kylo's own lips. Even as Kylo's hand reached out to caress Hux's face lightly, Hux's hand drifted down Rey's body to dip between her thighs.

He hadn't had much opportunity to explore Rey's body down there the last time they'd done this, and so Kylo watched in fascination as Hux took the time to brush his fingers up and down her entrance. Kylo could hear the wetness that was already there – he could _see_ it as Hux pulled his fingers back slightly.

Rey arched her back all of a sudden and Kylo knew _exactly_ where those fingers had gone. He watched hungrily as first one elegant finger, then two, disappeared within her depths, keeping his mouth on her nipple, sucking it all the while.

Hux angled himself a little better so that he could brush his thumb across her clit, even as he sunk a third finger into her, stretching her even further. Kylo pulled back from her breast and propped himself up on one elbow so that he could look upon her face. He pulled his hand back from Hux's cheek and rested it on Rey's face, stroking it reassuringly even as he saw the slight flash of discomfort get chased away by even more intense pleasure. She was panting even as her eyes might and held his, Hux's hand and mouth working away on her body.

Kylo could tell that Hux was rocking himself against Rey's hip much the same as he was doing, enjoying the sensation of her skin against their glans even as they brought her pleasure – well, Hux was doing most of it, but Kylo couldn't bear to interrupt the other man playing so _well_ with her body.

Kylo was amazed at how incredible just _rubbing_ against her body felt. The little sounds she was making – the mewls and gasps and moans – and the sounds of Hux's fingers sliding wetly through her arousal, as well as the sounds that _Hux_ was making as he drove himself against her skin as he pleasured her… all of it was making him harder than _anything_ he'd ever experienced before. He was close – _embarrassingly close_ – yet he didn't care if he was going to come within minutes of starting all this. It just felt so _fucking_ good, and he couldn't stop… _wouldn't_ stop.

Rey brought her hands down from where they'd been resting above her head and sunk them into both Kylo and Hux's hair, holding Hux to her breast and bringing Kylo down to kiss her. He swept his tongue out to meet hers, delving into her mouth even as her little gasping, mewling sounds grew in intensity.

Kylo hit the right spot against her hip and within moments of frantic rubbing – coupled with the sounds he was pulling from her from his kisses sending shivers straight to his toes and back up his spine – he was gasping as he came against her skin. She drank in his shuddering breaths with her mouth until he finally pulled back, looking down at her with heavy eyes. She had a smug look on her face even as she panted in pleasure – one that only women got when they'd pleasured a man well – and he couldn't help but kiss her again before collapsing his head onto her chest. His eyes tracked down the perfect swell of her body and then latched onto the sight of Hux's hand rhythmically circling her clit and plunging in and out of her body.

It wasn't long before Rey was keening against them, her body thrashing beneath their restraining grips and arching as she climaxed. Kylo looked up at the last moment, desperate to see Hux's face – and he wasn't disappointed.

The other man looked as if she were milking his cock instead of his fingers as she pulsated over his hand, and it wasn't long afterwards that Hux brought his own rocking to a stuttering halt as he came against Rey's hip. He'd long since pulled his mouth from her breast, instead letting it fall open and closed as pleasure coursed through him, his eyes fluttering shut.

Finally, Hux collapsed on Rey's breast, mouth close enough to Kylo's for Kylo to shift just a little and capture with his own. They pulled back, Hux placing a kiss on the underside of Rey's jaw even as Kylo ran his fingers up and down her stomach. She was so lethargic that she didn't even react to what should have been a ticklish touch – or perhaps she wasn't ticklish at all. Kylo didn't know, but he'd find out another time.

"That…" Rey finally caught her breath enough to speak up softly. "Wow. Thank you. For…" She choked on a sob and Hux and Kylo looked up at her, panicked. "Thank you for everything," she continued, meeting both of their gazes before closing her eyes and letting her head drop back.

Kylo knew – and he could see that Hux did as well – that she was talking about far more than the pleasure they'd just found together. She was thanking them for everything they were willing to do for her – everything that they already _were_ doing for her. Hux and Kylo shared a glance that bordered on serious, but turned soft as their eyes drifted back towards the woman between them; the woman who had brought them all together; the woman who they were willing to upturn their lives for.

Reassured once more, Kylo shut the lights off with a thought and they adjusted themselves on the bed until they were under the covers, still wrapped around each other's bodies. Rey may have been in the middle, but Hux and Kylo made sure to lace their fingers together over top of her stomach as her heartbeats and already-slow breathing lulled them into sleep shortly after her.

* * *

 **Note: Well, I hope you like it! They're still progressing at the pace that's right for them, so bear with me. :P**

 **I'm also trying to keep weaving that damn, pesky plot in here.**

 **Don't be too hard on Kylo. :(**

 **Please let me know what you think. I'm always happy to hear from readers - concrit is welcome, of course, though if it's a lot, please feel free to PM me with it on tumblr (I can be found there under the handle juuls). All messages are welcome, though hate is discouraged of course!**

 **Happy weekend, and again thank you for your continued support as I repost this work!**


	22. Haggard

**Note: Thank you so much to everyone who reads, comments, and just generally supports me and this fic. Every last one of you make me so happy. ^_^**

* * *

Rey woke up with a start as the lights flared on, blinding her sensitive eyes, and Kylo leapt clear out of bed. Hux was still pressed against her side, but he had stiffened his whole body in a way that told her that he was most definitely awake – though likely just as blind as she currently was. He tightened the hand that was wrapped around her waist, pulling Rey more firmly against his front as he lay on his side against her.

She could hear deep, angry breaths coming from Kylo as he stood beside the bed, but nothing beyond that. What had turned the lights on? Had it been Kylo? If so, why did he seem so on guard and angry?

"Well, there goes _that_ idea," an alto voice spoke up from the direction of the bedroom's door.

Suddenly, the sheet that had dropped down to her waist was being tugged up to her shoulders by Hux, covering her even as Rey blinked into the brightness of the room, finally able to see at least somewhat.

Savat Ren was leaning nonchalantly against the door frame of Kylo's room, her red hair drawn back in a ponytail and her half-mask pulled down around her throat. Obviously, her entrance had been what had woken Kylo so suddenly, causing him to leap out of bed to confront whatever possible danger was intruding on his sanctuary.

The only problem was that he was _completely_ naked.

Well, it wasn't a problem for Rey or Hux, and Savat certainly didn't look like she minded one bit. But… Rey couldn't imagine that Kylo was feeling very comfortable with the situation. Rey was vaguely aware that she should probably feel jealous that another woman was eyeing Kylo up and down, but she was simply too confused at the moment to be sure of exactly what reaction she should be giving.

"What do you want? It better be kriffing important to barge into _my_ room of all places," Kylo growled as he leaned down and reached for his pants, pulling them on over his nude form. Savat's eyes took in his form for another long moment before she looked past him and caught Rey's still-startled gaze. She could feel Hux glaring at the other woman from behind her, obviously pissed that she'd intruded on their morning.

For that matter… _what_ idea was Savat referring to? Had she come here with the intent of climbing into Kylo's bed…?

Before Rey's eyes could narrow fully at the other woman, Savat had crossed the room in quick strides – completely ignoring Kylo's question – and sat down on the edge of the bed near Rey's covered knees. Hux's drew in a quick breath, but held himself still, waiting to see what she was up to. Kylo stood by the side of the bed, likely frozen at the audacity of his second.

Savat held her gaze, looking into Rey's eyes as if she could see into the depths of her soul – it was growing increasingly uncomfortable, but finally Savat broke the tension by speaking softly. Her voice could almost be described as compassionate.

"We might not have been officially introduced yet, but I know who you are. I just want you to answer me honestly, and you can do so up here if you want." Savat leaned forward and tapped Rey's forehead with one long, graceful finger. "Are you here because you choose to be? You _have_ been informed of the Knight's – and the _Order's_ –" she flashed a quick glare at the General behind Rey and she could only _imagine_ the glare he was returning right back at her, "– rules governing relationships, yes? That _you_ must be the one to initiate of your own free will and not because you were forced into it?"

Kylo made a choked noise as if he were going to say something but had quickly thought better of it, and Rey caught a glimpse of Hux's frown as she pulled herself up into a seated position, using one hand to prop herself up and the other to clutch the sheet just above her breasts.

Yet neither man said anything, and Rey was glad for it.

It meant that they respected her; that they acknowledged this was an important test for them and their relationship to pass; that they needed the Knights to see that they were following laws that had existed for centuries; that they weren't using and abusing Rey for their own purposes – as if they would _ever_ do that, but it was important for _others_ to know and see the truth.

Rey made sure to give the question its proper due by waiting a few moments before responding to Savat's care – for that's what it was. Savat _cared_ enough for Kylo's Apprentice that she didn't want to see her – or anyone, really – be forced into a position that they didn't want to be in. Rey hardly knew this woman at all, but she already _knew_ that if she expressed fear for her situation… if she said she was not here of her own volition, Savat would fight tooth and nail for her honor and safety, even against these two powerful men. She would bring the strength of the Knights against them for breaking their laws, and every Knight would be duty-bound to come to her aid.

All this, and more, Rey _knew_ , just from holding the older woman's gaze.

The tension was mounting in the room, Hux and Kylo starting to worry at what Rey's answer would be – even though they shouldn't. But Rey paid them no mind. This was between her and Savat. _She_ didn't feel uncomfortable. In fact, she felt at peace, and happy that someone outside of the two men _cared_. Not that she needed them to.

Finally, she spoke, slowly enunciating each word as she answered so that Savat would understand that Rey fully comprehended every word she was saying. "Yes, I choose to be here. Yes, I was told of the rules governing relationships between Master and Apprentice, as well as those between Knights and officers." She held the other woman's gaze another moment before Savat nodded her head once, sharply, and sat back more comfortably on the bed, her facing relaxing completely back into its gentle smile. "And hello – Savat? Is that how you pronounce it?"

"Yep!" she grinned back at Rey. "Hello, Rey. Pleased to meet you."

With that, Savat stood up and started towards the door. She didn't make it two steps before she paused and looked back over her shoulder at Rey. "If you ever have need of anything that you don't think these two idiots can help with, please come to me."

Finally, she ambled towards the door, calling over her shoulder, "I'll fill you in later, Master Kylo. After you're less... busy." But that wasn't the last of it. Rey could hear the redhead mutter under her breath, "Damn, that would have been _fine_ ," before disappearing out the front door with a hiss of the mechanism.

Rey, Hux, and Kylo were still for nearly a whole minute before Rey started to giggle, flopping back onto the pillows. She nearly hit Hux in the face with her head, but he quickly pulled back and propped himself up so that he could glare at Kylo from over Rey's body.

"Why the _fuck_ do you put up with her, Kylo?"

Kylo looked as if he were struggling with what his reaction should be, before he finally decided on a smirk as he looked at Hux. "Well, I put up with _you_ for years, didn't I, Hux?"

Rey snorted in laughter and Hux and Kylo quickly shot her mock glares. Before they could say anything, however, first Kylo's, then Hux's, commlink started to trill.

Hux sighed and said, "Duty calls," before giving Rey a quick kiss on the lips and rolling over her so that he could get out of the bed. He was about to start dressing when he realized he still had dried semen smeared across his abdomen and hips. He grimaced slightly but caught Rey's suddenly heavy-lidded gaze through his lashes as he wiped himself off more fully with the sheet from the bed, his expression drawing up into a small smile.

He broke from her gaze finally and dressed himself quickly in his clothes from yesterday as he spoke. "I'll catch a shower and change of clothes in my room but I'll be busy almost all day today and tomorrow with that delegate, administrator… whatever they call themselves, from the Niivian Hospital. I'll have an hour or two after lunch if you still wanted to meet to go over our plans with your second."

Kylo was halfway to the refresher door but he stopped and turned around to answer Hux, while Rey admired his bare chest from where she lay – Hux had already covered up, but at least Kylo was still available to look at, and she took the opportunity to do just that.

"Bring Davidson with you, if you think you can trust her with our… with our plans," Kylo announced. "We need all the support we can get and I'd much rather have her on our side than out of the loop."

Rey's breath caught at the reminder of what these two men – _her_ men – were planning against Snoke… and _why_ they were doing it. Well, there were _many_ reasons… but they'd told her that he had threatened her, and they would _not_ stand for that. She could feel tears wanting to well up to the surface and she blinked rapidly, hoping that none fell. She didn't want to ruin the morning with her inability to control herself.

Hux simply nodded as he pulled his greatcoat on, remarking in a bored tone, "I do trust her, but I'm sure that you'll need to… ensure her loyalty?" He quirked an eyebrow at Kylo.

"Yes," Kylo replied curtly as he turned back around towards the refresher. "Meet Savat and I in the training rooms when you're free," he half-ordered, half-queried. "I'll be spending most of the morning going over changes to the Knights' training."

Rey sighed, realizing that she probably needed to get out of bed as well. The chronometer showed it was barely past five in the morning, but she needed to get back to her room, shower, and change as well, before heading to her planned training session with Asha – Rey's skill with guns of any type was still woefully inadequate, and the Knight was desperately trying to help her hone her technique to something above the level of embarrassment.

Hux eyed her appreciatively as she climbed, naked, out of bed. Rey felt herself flushing at the attention, and his lips twitched into a slight smile as he noticed. She'd never really been conscientious of her body, but there was something about the way he – and Kylo – looked at her that alternatingly made her want to cover up in embarrassment, and display her body proudly.

She settled for attempting smooth grace as she sat on the edge of the bed to pull her clothes on, glancing up every so often to catch Hux's hungry gaze. That certainly wasn't helping matters any – all it did was make her want to throw her clothes off again and partake in the delights they'd discovered in each other's bodies last night.

She barely managed to control herself, as much as she wished otherwise.

The sound of the 'fresher turning on caught both her and Hux's attention. They turned towards the door and a moment later Kylo re-appeared. Rey finished tying her boots and then stood up, remembering something that she knew she needed to ask.

"So what's my punishment going to be? You know, for yesterday?" she asked in a serious tone, meeting Kylo's eyes. They widened, and Rey knew he was about to protest, but she also _knew_ that she had messed up and needed to abide by the rules. She continued quickly, "What? You _have_ to give me a punishment, otherwise that nullifies everything that you worked towards yesterday with all that. And make it _good._ "

"She's right," Hux muttered behind her.

Kylo shot him a glare and then returned his attention back to Rey, his eyes narrowing in thought. Seemingly reaching a decision, he smirked and announced, "Okay. Fine. You're right – you _did_ disobey, and it's not like I can go back on something I announced in front of so many Knights. You can do something I had to do a few times when I was younger: clean the weapons room _and_ the weapons – by hand. That should be public enough, and harsh enough, to appease the other Knights. Does that meet with your approval?"

Rey groaned even as she heard Hux chuckle, running her hand down her face and closing her eyes briefly. "Yes, I suppose that will do," she murmured.

"Good," Kylo replied, a spark of humor in his eyes. He reached out and pulled Rey to him, giving her a lingering kiss before pushing her towards the door. "Go on, get out of here. I need to get ready." He turned and walked back into the 'fresher before she could reply.

Hux followed her out the door after she made sure the way was clear, shooting her a quick, small smile before he parted ways with her, both heading for their own rooms.

* * *

It was just after one in the afternoon and Kylo had made his way with Savat over to the door of the weapons room in the Knights' training facility to check on Rey. She had come to the door with a glare in her eyes directed at him, grease smudged across her face, and her hair in disarray. After he'd smirked at her, she'd huffed and then pulled her hair from its buns, finger-combing it all before pulling it back into one large, tight bun. She'd pocketed the remaining ties before turning an attentive ear to his and Savat's conversation about the changes they'd decided upon earlier that day.

His eyes wandered over the Knights who were in the main training room – a little over a third of those who had arrived on board were currently present – as Savat told Rey about a joke she'd played on the General of her previous star destroyer placement. He was still waiting on a few more groups to arrive, some of which would take another two weeks to rendezvous with the _Finalizer_ , but so far he was pleased with the speediness of the Knights' gathering.

Over thirty fully-fledged Knights were aboard, along with close to a hundred trainees. Although he had been slowly working his way through meeting with every last Knight of Ren personally, trainee or otherwise, he decided he needed to pick up his pace since yesterday's incident, in order to be sure of every person's loyalty to him and him _alone_.

He knew that there was no way that he could ever trust the dozen Knights guarding Snoke again, or the Troopers living at the compound, but he hoped to sniff out others like Kalex before it was too late.

His lips twisted at the memory of yesterday before shoving it aside – there was no place for that sort of weakness at the moment. Plus… he hadn't seen any images of the enemy General – his _mother_ , an internal voice insisted – in Kalex's mind before he'd killed him. It was entirely possible that the man had simply learned what would hurt Kylo the most to hear.

But that didn't matter right then. There were more important matters at hand.

It had been a hard few years after gaining the title of First Knight, but he had gained the respect and trust of most of those who had been with the former First Knight. He had instituted many changes, gaining control fully and expanding the semi-religious order quickly. It had helped to be associated with the First Order, in that case, as it hadn't taken much for word of their beliefs to spread everywhere that the military organization went.

And he had done it all _his_ way – not the way that Snoke had wanted him to. Kylo had made it clear early on that _he_ was in control of the Knights, and not Snoke. _That_ had been a delicate line to walk with his Master, but somehow he had managed it. He only wished he'd gained that power and control sooner so that his Master wouldn't have dared to take his Janna from him.

His scowl deepened as he caught sight of Ja'al Ren arguing with Alec Ren and another senior Knight named Tava. Tava did _not_ look pleased, her arms crossed as she glared at the males before her.

" _Hello_ , beautiful!"

Savat's voice rose in pitch, snapping Kylo out of his thoughts. He watched in confusion as Savat said, "Excuse me," and walked over towards the entrance to the facility. General Hux and Major Davidson had stopped in the doorway, surveying the Knights who were hard at work with matching, calculated gazes.

"Is she…?" Rey began, sound both confused _and_ jealous.

"Is she talking about Hux?" Kylo asked, arching a brow. "She's had ample opportunity to speak with him over the last week, so I doubt it…" He was still troubled, in any case, though it was warring with amusement.

"Oh," Rey breathed, and then started to laugh as Savat approached Davidson – who looked like she didn't quite know what to do with herself… or with the feisty woman before her, who was already starting to introduce herself and gesture grandiosely.

Rey and Kylo watched as Hux said something to Davidson and then wandered over. His face was stoic and controlled as usual, but his eyes hinted that he was wishing he could laugh right then.

"Ah, well that is interesting," was all he said.

Rey brought a dirty hand up to cover her mouth, trying to stifle her laughter but failing rather miserably.

"Think Davidson will like her?" Kylo asked lightly.

He was thoroughly amused by that point at the sight before him. It had been over a year since he'd last seen Savat in person, but he'd been quickly reminded of how much of an incorrigible _flirt_ she was. It wasn't that she wanted to necessarily have relations with each person she flirted with... more that she just couldn't help to push the boundaries with whatever being, male or female, alien or human, she happened to set her eyes upon in that particular moment. He'd been concerned she'd set her sights back on him, especially after that morning, but now... now he could relax, it seemed.

Savat had been his second since he'd risen to his position among the Knights, about half a dozen years ago. She had been one of his closest teachers when he had first arrived among them, even though she'd been a bare few years older than him. Her first outside mission had been the one to extract Kylo... and yet she'd still had much she'd been willing and able to impart to him. She'd been one of the few who had done it without a grudge, and he had never forgotten that.

Hux shrugged gracefully with a single shoulder, and Kylo's eyes flicked over to him as he was drawn from his musings. "Depends on her mood – and if she's between 'relationships' at the moment. Honestly, I'm more worried on what sort of trouble those two could get up to if they _did_ hook up – both our seconds, powerful women the both of them… is that even allowed?" he asked rhetorically. He knew it was.

"How old is Savat anyway?" Rey asked, her laughter finally subsiding as she stared curiously at the redhead chatting with Hux's second.

"Thirty-five," Kylo answered, watching as Rey frowned.

"And how old is… Davidson?" she asked.

Kylo looked at Hux, and he furrowed his brows at Rey as he replied, "She's forty-two. Why?"

Rey blinked and then looked up at Hux before moving her eyes to Kylo's face, and then down to the floor. "Hm. Well, this'll sound stupid, but that's the… oldest age I've heard spoken aloud. I've met plenty of older people, but back on Jakku no one ever talked about personal things like that – barely anyone kept track of their age, for that matter, and those who did were young like me." She laughed, embarrassed. "Anyway, it's of no consequence. Ignore me; I'm just me being silly." She lifted a hand and waved it as if trying to force the two men to forget her words.

Kylo caught Hux's eyes and then they both looked at Rey. They said nothing; not quite sure what to say in response to that little revelation that wouldn't serve to embarrass the younger woman – sometimes they forgot _how_ young she was. How inexperienced she was, when it came to certain things about the ways of the world.

Kylo and Hux respected her wishes and didn't make any comment on it, though he knew that the other man was likely thinking along the exact same lines as him.

He was just about to ask Hux if he were ready for their meeting with their seconds, when some shouting interrupted him. Hux, Kylo, and Rey all turned to observe Tava Ren yelling something inaudible at Ja'al Ren and then throwing her hands up into the air and stalking off, Alec Ren in tow.

"Wonder what that was about?" Rey asked, her voice darkening.

"Don't care, but I have an idea," Kylo responded as he started walking towards Ja'al, his robes snapping around his ankles. Rey and Hux followed along a moment later.

He knew exactly what he was going to do about his... Ja'al problem. He'd make it quick and easy; no fuss. Then he could get on with his meeting, and get on with the rest of the day.

And they could all breathe easier once he was gone.

It didn't matter if Ja'al would think it a privilege.

"Ja'al," he greeted as soon as he stood within hearing range of the Twi'lek male, "Prepare to leave by noon tomorrow. You have been assigned to the Supreme Leader's honor guard and are expected to arrive within two weeks at the location I will give you."

* * *

Two days later, Rey was sitting down at her desk and staring at her datapad, reaching over to adjust the angle of the camera lens for what felt like the tenth time. She had already put it off as long as possible, as it were, showering and then slowly dressing in the same turquoise tunic and black skirt from the dinner where she'd first heard her parents were _alive_. It felt somehow right, to wear those clothes, and it would certainly help if she looked _nice_ for her first meeting. She'd put her hair into her usual three buns, and had wondered the entire time if her mother had been the one to teach her the style she'd worn her whole life.

She sighed. She was nervous and had no idea what to say, though she'd had plenty of alone time to ponder that exact subject, once she'd decided that she would finally _do_ this.

Yes, she'd definitely had a lot of time to herself. Rey hadn't seen the men besides a glimpse here and there, and she hadn't really known what to do with herself in the evenings – since the start of their relationship, of sleeping together, she _knew_ things had changed… but she didn't quite know what that meant for the nights; for where she should sleep. She hadn't really had the chance to ask – and even if she had, she wouldn't know _what_ to ask. So she'd just kept coming back to her own room, even though she would toss and turn all night.

For the first time in her life, she'd felt the _desire_ for other bodies pressed against her at night.

All of that had certainly not helped her state of mind.

She tapped her fingers on the datapad, trying desperately to distract herself.

Unfortunately, there weren't that many things to distract her at the moment.

Nothing except _this_.

She may as well just _do_ it – just _start_ , at least, and speak from the heart. Let it flow, even if she wasn't exactly sure _what_ her heart felt.

She reached forward, paused a moment, and then pressed the record button. Blinking at the camera, she began.

Or tried to.

For what seemed minute after minute, she stared in silence. She didn't know what to say, or how to begin, but she knew she had to. She'd been waiting too long for this moment.

"Hi," Rey finally said. "I'm Rey. Or... I guess you named me Raelyn, right?" She smiled softly, though she cast her eyes downward shyly, looking up through her lashes at the camera. She huffed out a breath of laughter after another awkward pause, lifting her head again. "I don't really know what to say, I'll be honest. In some form or another I've imagined this day for all of my life. I mean... if you were alive, that is. Did you know... I thought you were dead, more times than not. I was... I remember being told by someone that they'd be back for me, and I figured only death would keep them away. I thought that those people were you. Turns out they weren't." Rey glowered at the camera, taking a deep breath and briefly shutting her eyes so that she could control herself.

"But... I still imagined what I would say when I finally got the chance to greet you. I never imagined it would be quite these circumstances, though. Never quite imagined my fate would be tied with the First Order..." Her eyes widened and she rushed to amend her previous statement. "Not that the First Order is a bad thing! No... it's... I've been well taken care of here, and the cause... I... Never mind, we don't have to get into that. I just... where I lived, on Jakku, I wasn't really caught up in one cause or the other; the First Order or the... Resistance. I..."

Rey clenched her fists and couldn't help but blurt out, "I met them, you know? The Skywalker twins. The ones who took me. Who took me from _you_. Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa. I... well, it's a long story, though I'm sure you've been made aware of some of it, but I got caught up with the Resistance for a little while. I guess you heard that... or maybe you know? I guess you probably did... anyway, I can use the Force. I was rejected, if you will, by Luke not too long ago, and Leia... she told me about how they took me from you."

She breathed deeply, struggling for control as the words attempted to tumble out of her mouth. "I guess she thought I might understand. That I might forgive her and her brother. It might have worked, even, but everyone treated me..." She paused. "Different. I wasn't welcome. Not really. So I left.

"And I'm glad I did. I might struggle at times, but I've found happiness. And I've... I've gotten the chance to get to know you. Or I will. I don't know if this is a blessing or a curse to have my first contact be with you via recorded message rather than live feed or in person. I'm not sure of a lot of things. I still don't even really know what to say, and I feel like I'm just rambling on and on over here.

"I bet you want to hear about my life so far, but... I don't want to talk about that right now. It's not happy. It wasn't pleasant." She blinked and swallowed thickly, feeling tears fight to be let loose and attempting to push them back. "I'm sure you know some of it already. I bet... the General told you some of it. He wouldn't have left you unprepared. He's good like that." Rey smiled gently at the thought, but quickly wiped the look off of her face.

"I don't imagine your life was very pleasant either. You... I don't know you, or what you're like, but I..." Rey struggled with her thoughts and feelings for long seconds, blinking furiously as her eyes darted frantically around the room.

"I'm sorry," she finally whispered, looking down at her hands where they were clenched into the fabric of her lounge pants. "I'm sorry they took me away. It's my fault. It's my fault that my... that my _brother died_." The words were barely audible. "That you lost both of your children. On the same day. I can't imagine that. What it would feel like. I don't _want_ to imagine it," she shuddered as she looked up into the camera again, wetness threatening to drop from her eyes. "I'm _sorry_.

"It's unfair," she said after another long pause. "But I'm sure you don't want to watch me descend into a pit of emotions right now, huh?" She huffed out a small laugh at that. "Here I am, supposed to be this big and powerful Apprentice, and I'm letting my emotions take over in a decidedly _improper_ way. But... I figure they can forgive me for that. I think they'd understand the situation.

"This is... you're my _parents_ ," Rey said in awe, as if she still couldn't believe it. And in some ways she couldn't. She had tried hard not to think about it since she'd learned about it, not knowing exactly how she'd react once she thought about it fully – and not wanting to find out, either.

"I want to know everything about you. I want to _meet_ you someday. I hope that can be arranged, though being on the _Finalizer_ makes things a little hard. It's not like I can request the ship go so drastically off-course for a lowly Apprentice's personal issues. Even with who my... Master is, I doubt that would go over very well." Rey crinkled her eyes at the camera as she smiled again. "I've heard you're busy people, too, so it's not like you can come to _me_ , either. Not right now, at least. But one day, I hope. I've waited fifteen years or so – I can wait another year or two, if necessary. As long as we can speak, even if it's just like this. Maybe I'll get better at talking, too. You never know. I wasn't... I didn't have a lot of people to talk with, growing up. I think I've spoken more in the last few months than I had in any five years of my life before that.

"I'm sorry," Rey quickly murmured. "No need to go down that road. In any case... I hope you want to know me; to be in my life as much as I'd dreamed you would. I hope you can be proud of what and who I've become, even if it was something none of us had planned; that none of us could ever have imagined. I hope to hear from you soon... that maybe you can tell me a bit about your lives, if you want to at least. The files they have on you are very... clinical. I understand why, but _still_. I want to know more. I want to know _you_."

Rey blinked at the screen as she struggled with her tears. She was sad... but also so very _happy_. She hadn't ever felt such an odd mix of emotions, tugging at her in two completely opposite directions, but also mixing oddly well together.

Realizing that she didn't know what else to say, Rey pursed her lips. She hadn't really wanted to start, but now she didn't want to finish, even though she couldn't come up with a topic to speak about. Not without knowing more about them, first. "Well," she finally spoke, after realizing she'd been quiet for too long. "I hope to hear from you as soon as possible. I... better go."

She didn't really know how to finish the video, so she just offered a small smile and muttered, "Bye," before reaching forward with a shaky hand and turning the recording off.

She stared at nothing in particular as she worried her bottom lip between her teeth. What if... what if they didn't _like_ her? What if she disappointed them, or she wasn't who they expected her to be... what they _wanted_ her to be?

Rey suddenly grew wide-eyed as she felt herself start to panic, but before she could second-guess herself and delete it all, Rey attached the video and sent it to the address Hux had given her for this exact purpose, all those days ago.

Slumping forward, Rey rested her head on the desk before her, her hands wrapping around her middle as she struggled to figure out what _exactly_ she was feeling.

* * *

"The Supreme Leader and the Council have both concurred on pushing the offensive in the Quence, Bajic, and Cadavine sectors," Hux spoke to the room at large from where he sat at the head of the conference table. His head was buried in his datapad, tapping away constantly as he switched between reports, orders, maps, and even a series of images that were relevant to the topic at hand. His mind was going a mile a minute even as he spoke.

"We've decided to pull out of Hutt Space with our military presence, though the appropriate outposts are being installed as agreed upon with the local government. We'll see if they keep to the agreement this time. They will be regularly patrolled, but the six vessels we had in the region to quell the... unrest... will be sent to the aforementioned sectors to assist. We should see results there within six weeks, if all goes according to plan."

He scrolled through another couple of reports as he apprised the upper command of the _Finalizer_ – and Kylo Ren – of the status of the First Order's efforts in the galaxy.

Even if they were going to kill that bastard, it didn't mean that the overall goals of the First Order should take a backseat. Since he agreed with the rest of the Council, he'd voted in favor of the recent military propositions, and was happy to do so. They were sound decisions. They'd received confirmation from Snoke hours ago, and Hux had called a meeting to relay the information.

It was important that those who needed to know about these things were kept well-informed, in case anything happened to him.

Kylo suddenly stood up and walked from the room, staring at his commlink that he'd pulled from an inner pocket. Hux didn't stop speaking, and quickly averted his eyes back down to his datapad.

He walked back in only moments later, sat down with a graceless _thump_ , and quickly pulled his own datapad to him from where he'd tossed it casually on the table earlier. Soon thereafter, Hux received a message from Kylo on his screen. He ignored it for the moment as he wrapped up his current train of thought. It was getting late – nearly 22:30, already – and he wanted to finish this soon.

"And, as you have been made aware, we are to continue on to Jakku. Our scouts have only recently arrived and should soon be sending us the necessary intel. The _Forerunner, Obliterator,_ and the _Ascension_ will meet us behind the sector's furthest planet, and we will keep orbit there until we're ready. The planet's magnetic makeup will make it impossible for us to be tracked."

He looked over to Captain Phasma, who had her helmet off, though she was still sitting straight-backed in her chair – old habits and all that, Hux supposed, thinking of his own rigid posture in his seat. "Captain? I believe you have the last few items on the agenda, and then we can all wrap this up and get some shut-eye."

Phasma nodded at him, her expression serious as she went into detailed reports about the state of the Stormtroopers and their training, both here on board and in the First Order as a whole. Hux tuned her out only slightly as he dragged his finger across his screen, pulling up the message from Kylo.

 _R. wishes to see us after meeting, when free. Not urgent, says, but sounded upset. Told we'd join when can._ – _K_

Hux kept his expression still as he sent back his agreement with a simple, _Yes._

They had barely seen Rey in the last two days, both being busy with their preparations for a myriad of things. Jakku, delegate meetings, Council meetings, training re-writes. He wasn't sure about Kylo, but Hux had fallen into bed at two in the morning on both days, only to waken again at five when his alarm had blared.

He was used to it from his past and from his training, though it had been a while since he'd run on so little sleep recently.

He was suddenly drawn from his thoughts as Kylo stood, slamming his fists into the table and rattling the datapads and cups of caf that were resting on it. The room grew quiet, waiting to see if the Force-user would throw one of his infamous fits. Things had been... good of late, and many of them had been lulled into a false sense of security where Kylo's tantrums were concerned.

"Yes, Lord Ren?" Phasma finally spoke, her face blank and her voice calm.

"I want to interrogate him personally," Kylo spoke after a moment, his own voice calm as well – but deadly so, and made worse by his mask.

Hux must have missed something, and he flashed back through his memory for what he had heard and processed, though hadn't really _focused_ on. Phasma had mentioned the capture of a Resistance member on a nearby world. The _Finalizer_ was the closest ship and the transport shuttle would be docking with them tomorrow. Before Hux could search his mind for the name of the prisoner, Kylo spoke up again.

"I accede to your wishes to execute him personally – and quite publically, as we'd decided months ago should this opportunity arise – but I want to have the first go at him. He is a traitor, and he dared to stand up to _me_ back on _Starkiller_."

Captain Phasma looked at Kylo coolly. "FN-2187 falls under my purview..." Kylo's hands started to clench and the table started to shake slightly. "But," she continued unhurriedly, "It would be an honor to have your... assistance with the interrogation. One with your skills in the art should not be turned away."

Hux raised his eyebrow, but kept quiet and still as he watched the scene play out. He didn't care _who_ interrogated the traitor, as long as _someone_ did – and then as long as they made an example of him. He was only thankful that Phasma always seemed to know the right way to handle Kylo – really, she deserved a raise at times like these.

Kylo nodded at Phasma finally, and she nodded back. Hux stared for another moment before standing. "If that concludes our business?" he asked blandly, ignoring the outburst of a few moments ago. It was always best to do so in a case like this, and – thankfully – this had been a much milder incident than it could have been.

Everyone filed out until only he and Kylo remained. Hux looked at him and then finally spoke, keeping his voice calm and regulated. "You took it very personally back when the original defection occurred, I recall... but now it's _more_ personal, am I right?"

Kylo growled, the sound carrying through his vocoder in the most disturbing of manners. He didn't say anything in response, though, except, "She's waiting for us."

Hux sighed. "Fine. Whatever. Just be careful. Make sure she knows. Be delicate. Don't fuck this up, _Lord_ Ren."

"Not tonight. We'll see what she wants, first." Kylo announced, his tone leaving no room for argument, even through the distortion.

"Have it your way," Hux shot at him as he exited the room, Kylo hot on his heels.

Hux had only ever loosely associated the traitor FN-2187 with Rey; he hadn't thought of him in terms more personal than that... but Kylo's reaction made him wonder, now, if there had been something between this defecting Stormtrooper and the girl who currently occupied their thoughts. It made him grind his teeth at the thought, but he also _knew_ that if there had been something – even friendship – between Rey and the... other... that Rey should be _told_. He was willing, however, to put it off until tomorrow, to see what was bothering Rey at the moment... but tomorrow he would make Kylo tell her. Even if she could do nothing about it, she deserved _honesty._

They nearly flew through the corridors as they made their way to Rey's room, Hux's strides quick and sure, and Kylo like a looming shadow directly behind him, his boots clomping.

There was one thing to be said about walking the halls with the First Knight – everyone heard them coming, and made sure to promptly have business elsewhere.

Hux might have laughed if he hadn't been mulling over what could be wrong with Rey, though he was also happy to finally be seeing her. Her presence was soothing to him, and he could use some of that after the last couple of days.

It took Rey less than ten seconds to open her door once they pressed the chime, as if she'd been waiting right there for them.

Hux stared, and he was sure that Kylo was doing the same. She looked tired – unbelievably so – and haggard, though the worst part about her appearance was her sweat-matted hair and the redness and puffiness around her eyes. They were dry in that moment, but it looked like she had been crying for a long time. Her clothes were sweat-stained, and Hux could see a series of weapons laid out on the floor behind her as he peeked over her shoulder.

"May we come in?" Hux asked gently when he finally found his voice. They couldn't stand out in the hallway indefinitely, especially not if she needed them. Kylo was holding himself stiffly, but quietly, beside Hux.

Rey stepped aside even as she nodded. As Kylo removed his helmet and the door hissed shut behind them, they both turned back to look at Rey. She was swaying on her feet, obviously exhausted. Whatever had happened, she'd tried to distract herself with physical exertion, it seemed. Hux knew that Kylo got like that at times, and one could even make an argument that his lightsaber-wielding tantrums yielded the same effect.

"I made the message for my... parents," Rey finally spoke. She seemed to shake herself out of her daze and pushed past them into her living room and then even further as she disappeared into her bedroom.

Hux and Kylo looked at each other but followed her, their faces blank as they waited for Rey to give them any indication on how they should react.

"It was nice," they heard from the bedroom as they rounded the doorjamb. Her back was to them, and she was leaning on one of her bedposts. "At least, I think it'll be nice. I don't even really remember what I said now. But I sent it to you before I could rethink it."

"Do you wish for me to send it still?" Hux asked gently as he moved towards her, Kylo following a step behind.

"Yes please," Rey responded after a moment of thought. She closed her eyes and leaned even more heavily on her hands where they rested on the bedpost. She almost looked like she was falling asleep...

"I stink." She spoke up just as Kylo was opening his mouth to say something. She wrinkled her nose and then opened her eyes as she turned back to them. "I'm sorry, I must smell pretty awful. I haven't been this rank since Jakku, but at least back then _everyone_ smelled bad so you didn't really notice it after a while." One side of her mouth quirked up, and Hux couldn't help but quirk his own lips up in response.

"I need a shower, so if you give me a few minutes I'll be back. I was... hoping you could stay and talk, but that's not necessary. I really just wanted to see your faces. To feel better, you know?"

Before either he or Kylo could respond to that, she'd turned around and stumbled into the refresher.

Hux furrowed his brow as he turned to Kylo, not quite knowing what to say.

Kylo winced as they heard a yelp from the 'fresher. Hux's eye twitched. "She's going to fall asleep mid-shower if she's not careful," Kylo muttered, lifting his gloved hand to rub at his forehead. He looked at Hux, even as his eyes took on that faraway expression he'd seen before when Kylo used the Force. He must have been checking in on Rey's cognitive state. "Yes," Kylo continued, his voice firming. "You should go help her. I'll go tidy her weapons so she doesn't slice her foot if she gets up in the middle of the night."

Kylo left the bedroom with a sweep of his robe, and moments later Hux could hear the sound of metal daggers being slid back into sheaths.

He looked towards the refresher door and realized that he still hadn't heard the shower turn on – not the sonic one, nor the water one. He walked in to find Rey sitting on the toilet with the seat down, and her eyes closed. Her breathing was starting to even out even as her head started to loll against her neck. He brushed past the young woman and reached for the button that would activate the low-level sonic shower, intending to help Rey get into it once he got it going.

"Not that one," came Rey's voice from behind him, which caused his hand to still inches away from the button. Her voice was laden with sleep, but she must have opened her eyes as soon as she was brushed against. "I haven't had a sonic shower since I arrived here. The water ones are... it reminds me of everything that's changed in my life." She paused even as he heard shuffling behind him, and Hux took the opportunity to press the buttons that would activate the stream of water inside the confines of the shower stall, thinking on her words. "That sounds stupid, doesn't it?" she finally asked, half to herself, and half to him.

Again, Hux felt a pang of sadness for Rey's circumstances when she'd lived on Jakku, but he squashed it down. He knew she wouldn't want pity from him – not on that topic, at least. She was stronger for it all, despite the awfulness of her formative years, and Hux wouldn't change who she was. He wouldn't demean who she'd become. "No," Hux replied simply as he turned around. "It doesn't."

Rey looked up at him, her clothes pooled around her feet haphazardly as she stood naked before him.

She was... _beautiful_.

He would never get tired of looking at her.

Rey smiled softly at him, as if she knew what he were thinking – or, at the very least, could guess. "You here to help me?" she asked. "Kylo worries too much, but I suppose it would go quicker if I weren't to fall asleep as I tried to get clean," she muttered her complaint good-naturedly. Her eyes skimmed him from top to bottom and a flush appeared high on her chest that carried up into her cheeks. "You'll need to get undressed though."

By the time he'd removed his clothes, folded them, and turned back to the shower, Rey had lathered and washed her hair, and was carefully applying conditioner as she held her head out of the spray. Her hands were stuttering every so often as she fought off sleep, her body leaning precariously.

Hux jumped forward and caught her before she fell – he wasn't sure if she would have caught herself in time, but he didn't want to risk it. She grumbled as he pulled her upright, and then let out a contented sigh as he pushed her face against his chest and took over the task of combing out the tangles from her hair.

She felt good against him, and he reveled in the feeling as much as he could while still trying to stay on the task at hand. She stayed still against him as he wet a washcloth with soap and water, only moving as Hux moved her around the stall so that he could run the cloth over her body.

Rey was small; even though she was tall for a woman and had filled out since she'd begun to eat properly and regular, her form was still lithe and slender, her hips narrow and her limbs like that of a runner. Her breasts were the perfect small handful, he noted as he ran the cloth slowly over them.

What he hadn't really paid attention to before, though, were the tiny, thin scars that she had in random locations around her body. He had been looking at her body before, but these seemed easy to miss. They were silver, denoting their age, though some were more recent than that. They looked like knife marks, and Hux was suddenly reminded of her skill with a dagger when she'd fought Alec Ren. She'd been far more competent with the dagger than her opponent had imagined – than even Hux had imagined.

They all had scars. She'd bring them up if she wanted, but to Hux they were no great mystery.

They didn't detract from her beauty – in fact, in many ways, they made her more beautiful to Hux. They denoted her ferocity and strength; her ability to protect herself. She'd earned them, and had survived their being given.

As he gently cleaned the final spot between her legs, Rey's back against his chest and her rear pressed against his half-hard length, he looked up and saw that Kylo was leaning against the entrance to the refresher. His eyes caught and held Hux's, causing Hux to pause momentarily before he finished rinsing Rey off. He always returned his gaze to Kylo's as soon as he was able to, seemingly not able to resist the heat and intensity therein as he held Rey's supple and tired form between his hands.

Between the two of them, they were able to dry and navigate Rey into her bed. She kept insisting that she could do it herself, but she was moving so slowly that Kylo finally picked her up and laid her on her bed, the covers already pulled back.

"Stay, please," Rey murmured, her eyes opening wider than they'd been since she'd started her shower. "I miss you. I didn't know how to ask before..." Her voice got quieter as her eyes shut again. "... but now that you're here, it seems so simple. Please stay."

It seemed Kylo didn't need to be asked twice. He started to divest himself of clothing as soon as the first words had left Rey's mouth.

Rey moved over towards the wall and patted the bed beside her. Hux climbed in beside her, pulling her body flush against his as he wrapped himself around her. He felt the bed dip and then Kylo's overly-warm body was pressed up tight against him, his arm draped over Hux's hip so that he could rest his large hand over Rey's stomach. They didn't seem to need the covers with how warm they all were in that moment, but Kylo had made sure to drape their lower limbs, before settling in, with the sheets in case they needed to reach down for them in the middle of the night.

Sighing contentedly, Rey spoke even as the lights were turned off – by whom, Hux didn't know. "Good night Kylo... Hux..." she breathed out. "Thank you for coming."

Hux felt Kylo squeeze both him and Rey with his arm. Kylo's breath was warm and moist on his neck, but he didn't mind.

He was content.

"Call me Taj," he whispered against her ear, and then kissed the spot right below it.

She shivered, but reached up to grip one of his hands with her own, pulling it to rest right below her breasts.

She was asleep within moments.

Kylo nuzzled the base of his skull with his nose, breathing in the scent of his drying hair... and that was the last thing he remembered as he followed Rey into sleep.

* * *

 **Note: Apparently the last time I posted this chapter my final note was "Don't kill me." :P hahaha I guess that still stands?**


	23. Bittersweet

_Rey.  
Called away for meeting early morning, both of us.  
Kylo says to practice your meditation until lunch, then read the holo he sent to you.  
Join us in observation lounge 2703 by 18:00 for dinner.  
Kylo will need to speak with you then.  
\- Taj_

So she hadn't imagined what he'd said last night.

Rey smiled softly at the note she held in her hands, obviously ripped from the sheaf of paper she kept on her desk. It was rare, but Rey couldn't begrudge the man the use of it as she stared at the words. It had been left on the pillow beside her head and she'd nearly crumpled it when she'd rolled over that morning. The sharp, angular script was exactly how she'd imagined Hux's— _Taj_ _'s_ —handwriting to be like.

Glancing at the chronometer, she realized that she would have enough time for a walk along one of the observation decks and atriums, and enough time for breakfast, before she was truly due to start her day.

Getting to her feet shakily—her legs were still overworked from her... distraction... yesterday–Rey made her way to her closet, humming tunelessly to herself.

* * *

Rey was lost in her thoughts, thinking much more calmly about what she could have said or done differently in her video message yesterday, when she was abruptly pulled out of them by a familiar word spoken by a voice she'd recently come to know.

"...FN-2187, yes. Captured two days ago. Arrived just this morning. Lord Ren is with him now, but he will face justice by my hand." Captain Phasma was speaking with two other Stormtrooper officers as they stood before a bank of viewports in the atrium.

Rey could barely make out what the Captain was saying, but she was _sure_ that she'd heard the woman correctly. Her breath caught in her throat but she immediately pulled herself together, smoothing her features and allowing nothing more than the initial hesitation in her step and breathing to show through. She didn't even slow; she just kept walking.

There was no need to call attention to herself.

As she kept walking, she maintained her stoic façade.

They had _Finn_?

She may not have left on the best of terms with him, having run off without a word, but he'd still been her first _friend_ , beyond the basic, temporary partnerships she'd adopted on occasion over the years on Jakku for survival.

She might belong to the First Order and the Knights now; might have participated in attacks against the Resistance... but there was no way she would want _Finn_ to be captured, tortured, and interrogated by...

By _Kylo_.

A small muscle beneath Rey's eye twitched and she turned quickly to face the viewport nearest her so that she could regain control of her features. As she did, she took the opportunity to cast out in the Force for Kylo. The bright glare of his Force signature was muted, as if he were closing himself off from others—from _her_ , she realized. Quickly pulling her own walls tight around her mind, Rey grit her teeth in anger and frustration.

She spared only the briefest thought towards the note left this morning. Obviously Kylo had planned on telling her about the situation, but... would that be too late for Finn?

She cared more than she should, she knew, but that... it was what made her _human_.

Rey knew exactly what was going to happen to Finn. She'd been around long enough to not harbor any illusions as to that fact. It was easier, however, when it was a faceless enemy.

Finn was... not.

She had to see him for herself.

She'd figure out what she would do after that.

Calling up schematics of the ship in her mind's eye, Rey pieced it together with the memory of Finn and Poe telling her about their escape from the _Finalizer_ , so many months ago. She squared her shoulders and then strode off purposefully down the corridors, reminding herself only after a dozen or so yards that she would need to appear calm, relaxed, and as if she were continuing her semi-regular morning walk—even if she were walking into an area of the ship she'd never been in.

She slowed her pace, casting out lightly with the Force to detect any life signs ahead. It was slow going once she reached the area she _knew_ she would not be able to bluff her way out of, as she dodged Stormtroopers and officers alike, and even stopped to turn surveillance cameras away from her path.

Rey didn't know what she was going to do, but she knew it would _not_ be good to be caught here. Not before she could find some way to help Finn, at least.

 _If_ she could.

Peeking around the corner of the hallway where she was sure he would have been taken to, Rey noticed two Stormtroopers standing at attention outside of a set of doors that were eerily reminiscent to the ones on _Starkiller_ where she had been held. She was about to stride forward when a _feeling_ told her to hold still for a moment. She heeded it, suddenly glad that she had when Kylo came striding out of the doors.

He paused and spoke loud enough for Rey to just barely make out his words. "No one in or out, unless it's myself, the General, or Captain Phasma. I will return by noon." Then he turned heel and left, his robes flourishing around his ankles—thankfully in the other direction, away from Rey.

Rey glanced at the console nearest her, squinting at the time. Five hours? She could work with that.

Maybe she could plead with Finn to give up information in return for leniency. Perhaps they would take him back, or let him live in exile, or, or... _something_.

Rey took a deep breath, realizing there was no sense in panicking. She could figure all of this out _after_ she got in there and spoke with Finn. After she made sure he was okay. Centering herself, she reached out and angled the cameras away from the cell, and then strode forward.

She had worn her cowl over top of her typical tunic and leggings this morning, and it was pulled up over her head with one of the ends wrapped around the lower half of her face. Her eyes were the only thing that stared out at the Stormtroopers as she narrowed her focus in on them, reaching for that same feeling as when she'd controlled the Stormtrooper on _Starkiller_.

They tensed up and raised their blasters at her, though didn't fire. They knew exactly who she was, and it would not do for them to shoot the Apprentice of Lord Kylo Ren. Not if he didn't want her shot, that is. She could sense their hesitance, and so she spoke into the confused silence.

"I've come looking for Lord Ren," she stated firmly, persuasively. She could feel it settling into their minds; could feel it being accepted. "My presence here is not abnormal. I will guard the prisoner, and you will return to your regular duties."

They tonelessly repeated her words back to her, and Rey smiled smugly beneath the fabric covering her mouth. She hadn't tried that trick since the first time, yet it had been so much _easier_ this time around—likely as a result of all of the lessons she had received since.

"Go now," she urged.

They went, leaving her to take a deep breath as she stared at the doors before her.

She unlocked the door with the Force, and made her way inside.

Keeping her eyes downward until the doors hissed shut behind her, Rey finally let herself look up at the chair-like contraption in the center of the room, on which Finn was strapped.

She gasped and then rushed forward, stopping just before her fingers could touch the blood streaming from a cut above Finn's eyebrow. His eyes were wide and he was staring at her as if he wasn't quite sure what to make of her.

Courageous in the face of his fear of her, she realized suddenly.

"No, no, you don't have to be afraid of me. Please don't be afraid of me," Rey whispered, her voice breaking. She reached up and pulled her cowl down, tugging the draped fabric from over top of her face. "Finn... are you okay? How did this happen? Oh... oh, I wish you hadn't been captured." She twisted away from him without ever having touched his face, clenching her gloved hands into fists as she turned her back on him in an effort to control herself.

"How could you _join_ them?" were the first words out of his mouth. "After everything they've done, after everyone they've _killed_ , after _Han_ —you _join_ them?" The hurt ran deep in his voice.

Rey stiffened and then whirled back to face him. "You don't understand—"

"Try me," he interjected harshly, though his eyes were caught halfway between a glare and something far softer. "I mean, what the pfassk happened? You were just —you were just _gone_. We woke up and you had taken the _Falcon_ , and you were gone. The only thing Leia—" Rey flinched at the mention, but Finn didn't notice, "—would say, about three weeks later, was that we had to evacuate, because _you_ were about to lead the First Order down on top of us. I didn't believe her at first, but then you were spotted on D'Qar during the attack on our remaining forces and suddenly I had no choice _but_ to believe. I didn't want to but I _had_ to."

Rey ground her teeth, refusing still to meet Finn's eyes. She clenched her hands into the fabric of her tunic as she spat out, "Leia didn't tell anyone why I left; what she and Luke did to me?"

Finn was silent a moment before replying slowly, unsurely, "No..."

Rey's eyes shot up, finally meeting and holding Finn's so that he could see the anger simmering within them; so that he could see the truth and resolve behind her words. "About fifteen years ago, Luke and Leia kidnapped me from my family—don't protest! She was the one to tell me this herself. She wanted to clear the air between us. Do you want to know why?" She didn't wait for him to say anything. "My parents were— _are_ —First Order. They saw that I was strongly Force-sensitive and they just _took_ me from my family so that the First Order wouldn't have access to my talent. Then they just _left_ me on Jakku, Finn. You were there. You know how awful it is there. And they _left me there to rot._ As a child of _five_ , Finn. Who even does that?"

Before he could say anything, Rey continued. "You know what the worst part is? My older brother died—he _died_ —when they kidnapped me. My parents lost both me and my brother that day, and they had no idea if I was still alive or not. Not until Hu—not until the First Order found them and contacted them. And they're alive, and I can _see_ them again soon, Finn. Don't you understand that?" Rey pleaded with him, wanting him to understand why she was here.

It wasn't the complete picture, but that didn't matter at that moment.

He looked conflicted, and Rey tried one last plea. "If you had the chance to find your parents again, wouldn't you follow that wherever it leads you?"

Finn was silent for a long moment, biting his full bottom lip as he thought. Finally, he nodded curtly and muttered out a barely-heard, "Yes."

Rey sighed with relief and then stepped forward to will the restraints around Finn's limbs open with the Force. He stared down his body for a moment, and then back up at her, as if he'd forgotten entirely that she could do things like that. He shook his head however, as if willing away the temptation to say anything, as he stepped out of the restraints and onto the floor.

They held themselves awkwardly, a few steps apart, as Finn rubbed his wrists and Rey returned to clenching her tunic in her fists.

Finn broke the silence first, speaking even as he reached up and wiped at the blood on his face with his sleeve. "But you're still... fighting for the First Order, Rey." He still sounded as if he couldn't quite come to terms with the fact.

It was the first time Finn had spoken her name since she'd arrived—the first time she'd heard it from his lips in _months_ —and her heart clenched at the sound. "I am," she whispered, not quite knowing how to respond to what he was saying.

"But they're... they're _evil_ , Rey," he said vehemently as he took a step towards her. Rey took a step back and he froze, his hands in the air where he was about to grip her shoulders. He continued, "What about the Hosnian System, Rey? What about the dictatorship they plan to set up around the galaxy? What about _Snoke_?"

Rey glanced around the room. She had checked upon entering that there were no recording devices, but she wanted to make sure before she spoke again. It was healthy to be paranoid, especially around here. "It's not perfect, Finn," she began, "But I believe in the cause. There are so many things that you can't understand from within the Resistance... that they didn't let you know as a Stormtrooper. The... order that they're trying to instill... that's important to me. You can't imagine what it was like where I grew up. And there're _so_ many others like me out there... and... if I leave, I won't ever meet my parents, Finn. That is _so_ important to me. You know that. But the First Order..." she trailed off. "It's not a dictatorship. It's not _meant_ to be, at least, Finn. They've gotten a little out of control under Snoke but—"

She cut herself off before she gave too much away, pausing and then settling for alluding to the topic. "I'm working to change things, Finn. For the better. I have a lot of standing here, and there are actually things that they listen to my advice on. There are plans in place for... Things will _change_ ," she finished finally, confidently.

Finn narrowed his eyes progressively during her entire speech, until he was practically glaring at her at the end. He looked as if he were trying to figure out what she was _not_ saying—as if he were trying to read between the lines and was close to understanding that Rey was talking about killing Snoke... about an internal power struggle that would change the First Order for good.

Because that's what would happen.

Without Snoke's influence, the First Order could become what they were supposed to be. They could instill order in the galaxy; could help the poor, needy, and hungry, like she had been; could bring an end to the fighting and slavery and corruption that had ransacked the galaxy for decades... it was a cause that Rey could _absolutely_ get behind, even if some of their tactics were not the... best.

Finn finally nodded, slowly. "I... okay. I don't like it, but I can kind of... no, I really can't understand it. But I respect you enough to let you make your own decisions." He held up his hands. "I learned my lesson. See? No hand-holding."

Rey let out a little choking sound that was half sob, half sigh of relief, and then smiled at him. He smiled back. After another few seconds of silence, Rey flung herself at Finn and gave him a huge hug. He hesitated a brief moment before wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"We need to get you out of here," Rey spoke, muffled, into his chest. "As quickly as possible."

Finn pushed her back until he was holding her at arm's length. "How are we going to do that? I'm sure they've tightened the TIE-fighters' security since Poe and I last broke out of here," he chuckled mirthlessly. "Plus, I can't fly a damn thing. Well. I've been practicing, but I really just... can't."

Rey drew a sudden blank, then turned her mind inwards and fired it up, thinking through possibility after possibility for a lone ex-Trooper to get off of the _Finalizer_ —and in one piece. Finn let her think, thankfully, and a few minutes later Rey tilted her head to the side.

"We're orbiting a rather neutral planet at the moment, negotiating with the government— _no_ , negotiating does _not_ stand for hostile takeover, Finn." She rolled her eyes and then continued. "There should be a couple shuttles departing with officers taking a few hours of leave throughout the day... it's a short trip down, I believe, and if we can get you onto one of the shuttles, you should be able to sneak off as soon as they land, and then make your way off of the planet."

"What's the planet name?" Finn asked.

"I think it was... Niiva, or something like that?" Rey scrunched up her nose as she thought. "Yeah. Niiva."

Finn nodded. "Okay. I know the place. I can... I can find my way off quickly if you get me there." He frowned, and Rey knew what he would say before he even spoke the words. "You should come with me. Come back to the Resistance. We can figure things out... I'm sure everything can be forgiven and you can help us—"

"No, Finn," Rey cut him off gently, though her lips were twisting and tightening. "Never mind the fact that what I've done can't be forgiven; not in their eyes... but the Resistance themselves are going about everything _wrong_." She held up her hand before he could protest. "They aren't as good-hearted as you want to believe they are, Finn. They... they kidnapped me. Killed my brother. They tried to assassinate—" She cut herself off this time, as Finn's eyes widened.

"You knew about that?" Finn asked incredulously.

"Of course I did!" Rey snapped. "It happened right in front of me! Someone tried to attack him right before my eyes."

Finn looked confused, as if he didn't know what she was talking about. "What?"

"What?" Rey replied, eyes narrowing.

Finn gulped. "I thought you were talking about yourself. About the..."

Rey took a step forward. "Are you talking about the person who tried to poison me?" Rey practically growled. She knew that Finn wasn't responsible, but he'd _known_ and not said anything to her since she'd arrived. "You mean to tell me that the person who tried to kill me was from the _Resistance?_ And you're trying to tell me that the Resistance is filled with good people?" Rey took a step back, realizing she had gotten right up into Finn's personal space and he was staring at her, wide-eyed. She pinched the bridge of her nose and clenched her eyes shut. "What do you know about it?"

Finn held up his hands as if in a plea. "I don't know much if anything about what happened. Just that someone had a chance to hit your food and took it—without the green light from command, Rey, you gotta believe me. We heard about it afterwards, and they were told to stand down from any further attempts after you survived."

Rey opened her eyes and stared him down, assessing the truth of his statement. She refrained from touching his mind with the Force, however, instead relying on her instincts where he was concerned. She filed away the information for later, and then nodded at Finn. "Okay."

"You were talking about Kylo Ren, weren't you?" Finn asked perceptively. "The other assassination attempt you were referring to."

Rey snarled and whirled away so that she could face the wall once more. "Yes! Your General—his own _mother_ —tried to have him killed before my eyes! It was only because I was there that he was able to be stopped. If I hadn't been there..."

"The galaxy would be a better place!" Finn cut in heatedly.

Rey's shoulders stiffened and Finn's breathing hitched. There was silence for a long moment and then she heard Finn's footsteps as he moved to stand in front of her. He reached out and lifted her chin so that she was looking up into his eyes.

She flinched, but didn't move away.

"You love him, don't you?" he asked, and then kept going without waiting for her answer. "Well, that makes a lot of sense, now. Why you're staying. Why he was so angry with me when he was in here earlier... You don't need to answer. I can see the truth of it, Rey." His voice had softened into pity by the end of it, as if feeling sorry for whoever could love the monster known as Kylo Ren. "I'm sorry."

Rey shut her eyes against the angry and frustrated tears that were threatening to form. Finn dropped his hand from her chin, for which Rey was immensely grateful for.

"Be careful around him, Rey." She could tell he was choosing his words carefully. He wanted her to listen to him without completely shutting him down. She was willing to see where he was going with all this.

"He's not what he seems," Finn continued. "Since you left, and Luke came back, a lot of truths have come out about him. You remember Han talking about that student who betrayed the new Jedi Academy? We figured it was Kylo Ren at the time, but... it's a lot worse than we guessed, Rey, and you weren't there to learn about it. And I doubt he told you."

Rey kept her eyes closed, but murmured, "What happened?" She wanted to know, but she also... didn't. But in the end, she _had_ to know.

Knowledge was _everything_.

"Children _died_ , Rey." She let her breath out with a shudder as he paused. "Some as young as four, from what Luke tells. When the Knights of Ren came to get _Ben Solo_ ," he bit out the name, "They laid waste to the Academy and killed everyone, student and teacher alike, no matter their age."

"Stop, please," Rey gasped out, wrapping her arms around her body.

"Does that change anything, Rey?" Finn pressed mercilessly—in the back of her mind, Rey was astonished at how much he had changed... at how much they had _all_ changed, really.

"He was... he was just fifteen at the time," Rey protested weakly.

"Old enough to make decisions and know the repercussions, Rey."

She quieted, knowing that he was right. She turned her thoughts inward, knowing that this changed... _everything_. But also nothing at all.

She still loved him.

Finn was right. She had been right, all those days ago, when she'd mused on if what she was feeling was love.

She loved Kylo Ren. Just as she loved Armitage Hux.

She loved arguably the two most powerful men in the galaxy; men in charge of the fates of billions upon billions of lives.

Was this knowledge that Kylo had killed _children_ worse than that of Hux obliterating Hosnia? Worse than Kylo killing Han Solo, his own father?

No.

For that matter... did she have all the relevant information? If there was one thing that seeing both sides of the war had taught her, it was that propaganda was a very real thing, and Finn _had_ mentioned that the Knights had been there... could they have done most of the killing?

Rey truly, desperately, wanted to believe that was the case, even if it just transferred the horrifying acts to the group she belonged to, rather than the man she was in love with.

Finally opening her eyes, they hardened as she met Finn's soft and compassionate ones. She rolled her shoulders and her neck, loosening herself up. "This changes nothing until he tells me what happened for himself— _no_ ," she cut Finn off as he opened his mouth. "It all might be true, but I owe him that much faith. He deserves a chance to tell me this himself."

Quickly walking to the door, she held up her hand but did not open it. "For now, we need to focus on getting you out of here. I can handle... the rest later."

Finn spoke up from behind her, not yet moving to follow her. "Why are you doing this? Why are you helping me? They're going to find out it was you—you know that, right?"

Rey sighed. "I know," she murmured. "They'll find out. I know they will. I'll live, no matter what happens. They won't... they won't harm me. I have faith in them." And she did. She knew that these two men cared deeply for her—even if she didn't really understand _why_ —and that they would let her get away with things that they would kill others for. She didn't want to abuse that, but... "It's the right thing to do," she finally stated. "You came back for me. You rescued me on _Starkiller_. This is me paying my debts, Finn."

"Is that all I am to you? A debt that needs repaid?" Finn sounded hurt.

Rey looked over her shoulder at him even as she pulled her cowl and fabric back into place around and over her face. "No, Finn, you're not. You're a friend still, no matter what. My _first_ friend."

Finn had nothing to say to that, and Rey turned back around. "Hold your hands in front of you as if you were shackled if we run into anyone we can't avoid," she instructed. "I know we don't have any actual shackles, so it's a flimsy cover, but I can make most people believe it if necessary." She tapped her forehead. "Luckily, the route to the hangar closest to us is rather obscure—"

"Yeah, I remember," Finn interrupted.

"Right," Rey replied nervously. "You lived here for a long time... Okay... you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." He walked over and stood beside her, flashing her his cocky, excited grin. "Let's do this!"

Rey couldn't help but grin back at him. She was scared of what was to come, but she _knew_ that this was the right thing to do.

* * *

The alarm had stopped over an hour ago.

It was only a matter of time now, Rey thought as she sat on a chair that she'd pulled around to face the door to her quarters.

It was approaching 20:00, long past the time Rey had been scheduled to meet the two men for dinner. Yet she hadn't gone. She couldn't, really, anyway, with the alarm that had started shortly before noon. The alarm announced a security breach and had ordered all non-essential personnel to remain in their quarters or any rooms that they had currently been occupying.

Rey had been in her quarters since nearly 08:00, having made her way back to them on shaky legs after seeing Finn onto a shuttle and watching it depart from the hangar.

She only hoped that Finn had had enough time to get into a ship of his own—one he'd assured her he had access to as part of the Resistance—and escape into hyperspace before the First Order had started monitoring the orbital jumps. Bad pilot or no, it had to have been better than nothing.

Rey was sure that the alarm halting meant that he had escaped and they'd given up their immediate search—she refused to believe that it meant they had found him.

As soon as Hux and Kylo walked through her door, she had her answer.

"You helped him escape, didn't you?" were the first words out of Hux's mouth after the doors hissed shut behind them. His voice was devoid of any emotion except a hint of anger and incredulity.

Rey remained where she was, watching as Kylo removed his mask and glared across the room at her. She waited a beat before answering simply, "Yes."

Kylo snarled and threw his mask—thankfully well clear of Rey.

Though she flinched at the display of rage, she otherwise remained still. She ached to reach out and touch him; to tell her _why_ she had done what she did; to make him _understand_... but she knew that speaking up right now, outside of what she could guess was going to be a sort of pre-arranged script, would be dangerous.

Before Kylo could reach for his lightsaber, Hux reached out and placed a hand on his arm, gripping it without looking at him. "Not now, Kylo," he said, his voice gentler than when he'd spoken to Rey. "We don't have all the facts."

Kylo shook off Hux's grip, but Rey could tell he'd relaxed slightly. He propped himself up on the wall, and then pulled his mask back towards him with the Force.

He wouldn't look at her.

But Hux did. He stared right into her, his eyes piercing and hard. "Why did you do it?" There was so much more he could have said, but he left it at that, waiting for her answer.

Rey held his gaze, never wavering. "It was wrong," she said confidently. "You were going to kill him, and it's not like you'd have learned much from an ex-Trooper. Plus I... owed him one. For rescuing me from _Starkiller_."

Hux's eyes flashed and he clenched his jaw minutely—the only outward signs of his ire. Everything else about him was poised and professional. "Per our laws and regulations, he would have been executed no matter what, Rey." The way he said her name made her wince. "He is a traitor to the First Order; a defector. And you let him _escape._ "

He sounded as if it was a personal affront—and maybe, to him, it was. To have his _lover_ , or near enough to it, betray him? Rey's heart ached to reach out to him, just as it did for Kylo. Yet she held herself still, refusing to move an inch towards either of them as she replied.

"You were beating him, and hurting him. I stand by what I did. He was my _friend_. My _first_ friend. He got me off of Jakku—out of that hell-hole. He might not be my friend anymore, not with being a part of the Resistance, and me a part of the Knights and First Order, but I couldn't stand by and watch _Finn_ ," she made sure to underscore the name for both men to hear, "get hurt. If you were just going to execute him... I don't honestly know how I'd feel about that. But seeing him injured and mentally tortured... I couldn't. I just couldn't," she finished defiantly. Her eyes never left his. "Anyone else, maybe. Just not him."

"He's a _traitor_!" hissed Kylo, and her eyes darted towards him involuntarily. He was hunched over, trembling with anger and betrayal—she could feel it rolling off of him in waves. But he was also feeling confused and hurt and, despite all that, he was feeling a deep sense of caring for Rey that he didn't quite know what to do with.

Rey recognized it because it was exactly how she was feeling at that moment. She didn't know how to come back from what she'd done; how to make it right again.

"I know he is. And if I see him again, I won't be so easy on him." Rey wasn't quite sure if that was the truth, but her next words certainly were. "I'm not a traitor, though. I may have let him go, but besides that, I am loyal to you. I _believe_ in what you're doing—what _we're_ doing—and what the First Order and Knights of Ren are doing. Go on, search my mind, _Master_." Rey used the title to deliberately instigate Kylo; to force him to do what he must, and what she _needed_ him to do. She spread her arms in offering from her position on the chair, looking up into his face. She didn't need to look to feel Hux's eyes drilling into the side of her face.

Kylo immediately reached forward with one hand, his mind questing forward as he rifled through her thoughts and memories. She held herself open to him, gritting her teeth in pain on occasion as he delved further into certain memories than others. He was not gentle, nor was he as indelicate as he'd been that first time he had done this to her.

He muttered to Hux, "She speaks the truth."

"That may be," Hux replied sharply, "Yet she still allowed a prisoner to escape."

"You're right, but—" Kylo stopped abruptly. Hux held his silence at Kylo's tone.

Rey watched, horrified, as his mind came to rest on the memory of Finn telling her about the Jedi Academy. Her eyes widened, mimicking Kylo's as he pulled back and away from her mind, his arm dropping to his side.

Now that he had seen the memory, she may as well ask... may as well get everything out in the open. "Did you kill children, Kylo?" she asked softly, gently.

He knew exactly what she was asking.

Rey felt an overwhelming surge of anger and self-hatred well up from Kylo through the Force—so much of it that she had to clench her eyes shut. Long seconds of silence passed before she felt Kylo wall his mind away, and the doors hiss open and shut behind him.

His silence was worse than him lashing out in rage.

But she had her answer.

At least... part of it. He hadn't actually explained anything, but she at least knew the base truth to the original question.

He had killed children, when he'd been barely more than a child himself.

Hux cleared his throat and Rey snapped her eyes open at the sound. She held herself still, waiting for him to speak, careful not to let her feelings etch themselves onto her face. It was harder than she'd thought it would be; everything was collapsing around her.

Everything she'd worked hard for with these two men, all the care and love and respect... all _gone_.

She could not, however, find it in herself to truly regret letting Finn go.

"You'll remain in your quarters until I can figure out what to do with you. As of right now, no one knows what happened and I would much prefer to keep it that way—not just for your sake," he narrowed his eyes at her, "But for mine as well."

He held out his hand. "Your lightsaber." He didn't make any movement with his fingers, simply held them still, waiting patiently.

Rey had expected to be asked to hand it over, and so did not hesitate when she reached for it and handed it to him sideways, so that he would not think she would activate it while she held it.

All in all, the conditions being set on her were lighter than she'd expected. She didn't like them, but she could agree to them... _for now_.

Her mind focused on Kylo's non-answer—the one that _implied_ an answer, in and of itself—as she tried to pick apart what exactly she felt at the meaning behind his revelation. He had killed children, but did that truly change how she felt about him? She didn't know the circumstances around it all; she needed to hear more before she could make a decision. But for now... for now she was _torn_ —torn between her love for him, and Hux, and her unwillingness to easily accept what he _might_ have done.

She was too focused to protest as Hux detailed her restrictions. No visitors unless approved, no datapad usage, no training, food would be delivered by droid, and she was not to attempt to leave, even with the Force, or she would be tracked down and forcibly returned each and every time.

Rey simply nodded and looked him in the eye, smiling weakly even as she tried to impart that she still _cared_ for him. "Okay," was all she could say. She was too tired, too much of a jumbled mess inside, for her to say much more.

Hux looked at her for another long, silent moment, and then turned on his heels and left.

Rey slouched in her chair, her hands coming up to cover her face as she held back tears.

Finally she let them flow after she realized that many of those tears were happy tears. Finn had escaped _successfully_.

That had to count for something, in the end.

* * *

Rey woke in the middle of the night when her leg dropped with a thump to the floor from its previous precarious position on the chair that she'd scrunched herself into. She reached out instinctively for Kylo's blazing Force signature. Even if he was continuing to shut himself off, she'd be able to feel—

He was gone.

He had left the _Finalizer_.

He'd left _her._


	24. Regret

Kylo stared out the viewport of his _Upsilon_ shuttle, his gaze vacant and not really aware of any of the stars that he was looking out upon. His mask was beside him on the co-pilot's chair, his gloves draped across the top.

He had set out with a destination in mind, but had dropped out of hyperspace travel only ten minutes into the journey.

He had been staring out into empty space for over three hours now, unseeing, unfeeling... emptiness pulling at him and beckoning him. He had let it pull him under, embracing it in a form of meditation he did not often attempt for fear of losing himself into the void forever.

Finally, he blinked, his eyes focusing on the stars for the first time in hours. He reached forward, letting the Force guide his hand as he punched in a set of coordinates he would _never_ forget.

* * *

Hux leaned back in his chair, briefly clenching his eyes shut as he attempted to suppress the childish urge to rub them with the backs of his hands.

He had been awake all night and well into this morning, having relieved the night commander of their post on the bridge when he had stalked in close to midnight. He had kept himself occupied, his face stoic and revealing nothing—even when Kylo's shuttle had been reported leaving the hangar.

Kylo was just _leaving_ him? Leaving them? Hux had known that Kylo could be childish at times, but _this_? It was a step above anything he'd seen before from the man—even his ridiculous tantrums.

He had watched, his hardened eyes the only sign of his feelings, as the shuttle had entered hyperspace and departed.

Davidson had walked in at 06:00 on the dot, ready to relieve the previous commander, and had instead been faced with the grim face of her General. She had taken one look at him, her blue eyes piercing and knowing, and he had twisted his lips and nodded in acquiescence to her taking his post. He hadn't, however, returned to his quarters for sleep. Instead, he'd sequestered himself in his office, where he'd stared at the wall for what seemed like hours, his mind blank.

He was lost; more conflicted than he'd ever felt before; torn between duty and his personal feelings. He'd kept staring and staring at the wall, not knowing where to start, or what to think.

Then, suddenly aware of exactly where to start, he'd gotten to work, reviewing every security feed from yesterday morning in the hallways leading to and from the interrogation rooms, and between there and the hangar closest to the penitentiary wing. He set aside the professional part of him that was screaming in the back of his mind, wondering what in the pfassk he'd do if he _did_ find any footage implicating Rey. He could deal with that decision _if_ he found any.

Thankfully, the only glimpse of Rey had been of her in her cowl and training clothes, meandering casually through a hallway that she had every right to be in—then, nothing.

There wasn't a single recording of Rey in the vicinity of the prisoner.

Hux breathed a sigh of relief as he leaned back in his chair. He finally gave in and rubbed his hands over his eyes. He wouldn't have to make the hard decision of whether or not to scrub or corrupt the video evidence of Rey helping the prisoner escape, like he'd thought he would find.

FN-2187's previous escape was already working in his favor as well, as far as Rey was concerned. The near-legendary and daring escape of months ago had fueled rumors that he'd done it entirely by himself this time; that he'd escaped with his cunning and wit alone, even without the aid of the _pilot_.

Hux clenched his jaw. The rumors would have to be stopped eventually, before they did more harm than good—but for now, they were working to allay suspicion away from where the fault _truly_ lay.

With _Rey_.

Hux didn't know what to think. He hadn't known last night, he hadn't known before he'd looked at the security feeds, and he _still_ didn't know.

What Rey had done was a betrayal of everything that Hux stood for; everything he'd worked so long to achieve. She may feel she'd _simply_ let a prisoner escape, no big deal in her mind, but it showed a lack of respect for who Hux was—for who Kylo was, as well. She had taken justice into her own hands and had bypassed everything she'd professed to swear allegiance to. She'd taken advantage of their growing relationship and trust for each other.

Because that's exactly what she'd done. He was sure she'd known she would be caught and had done it anyway, knowing that they wouldn't hurt her. That he and Kylo would feel torn between their duties and their possible love for her... that they wouldn't kill her for this infraction; and would even likely attempt to hide it.

She was right. They would.

 _He_ would.

Love was irrational, forcing even the most rational of beings—such as Hux had always considered himself to be—into doing things entirely against their nature.

Love.

Hux's eyes widened. He hadn't thought that word since Leif, let alone spoken it aloud. And here he was, associating that word with his feelings for Rey... for Kylo... for two individuals who ran roughshod over his control and emotions. They made him _irrational_ , and that was how Hux knew that this was the real thing, as panicked as it might make him feel. Startled into full alertness once more, Hux cast desperately within his mind for another train of thought— _any_ train of thought.

Kylo had said that he'd seen no signs of further betrayal within Rey's mind. She was dedicated to them and to the First Order and Knights of Ren _through_ them—but also because she truly did believe in their cause. It was... something, at least. It seemed like the only reason she'd helped FN-2187 escape was because of some debt of gratitude; a sense of friendship that tied them together; an unwillingness to stand by and do nothing as someone she cared about was tortured and then executed.

But for all that, he _still_ didn't know what to do about Rey. He didn't know if she should be given a punishment, or let go, or... or... _what_. And even if she were punished in public, he would have to ascribe the punishment to something else _entirely_ , as he already _knew_ that he would not be crediting her with FN-2187's escape. He knew that much, even if the knowledge did not sit well with him. He had never felt so out of sorts before; had never felt like there was no clear path forward in a decision having to do with the First Order and its security. He was pulled every which way, with his feelings wrapped around _every_ single aspect of the decision.

He needed more _time_. So... for now she would remain where she was, much as it pained him. He needed to think rationally on the decision... even though he had an inkling as to which way he was leaning. He _had_ already reviewed the security footage with the intent of making sure Rey was not featured in the escape attempt...

Hux sighed and tilted his chair forward again, bracing his forehead in the palms of both hands.

Of _course_ Kylo had left him to deal with all of this on his own. He could only imagine how Rey must feel—he was sure she must be aware he'd left by now, based on what he knew of the Force and Master-Apprentice dynamics. If it was half as heartsick and frustrated as he was feeling...

But at least he had things to distract her. She was all _alone_.

Suddenly feeling the desperate urge to go and comfort her, Hux shoved back his chair—barely catching it before it would have crashed to the ground—and made his way to the door. But before he could open it, the chime sounded to announce that someone was requesting admittance.

Hux sighed again, but made his way back to his desk and placed himself behind it before pressing the button that would open the doors. "Come in," he called out at the same time.

In strode Savat Ren, her mask covering the lower portion of her face with her cowl pulled over her head. She was wearing loose black robes that flowed weightlessly around her form as she stalked forward to lean with both gloved hands upon his desk.

She stared at him, her brown eyes boring into his green, until Hux was nearly sure he would be the one to break first. However, she spoke before he could—thankfully.

"Where did he go?" she asked.

Hux didn't need to ask who she was referring to. "I don't know," he replied evenly.

Savat stood where she was for a long moment as if she were weighing the truth of her words. She was much like her Master in that she did not reach out with the Force and take what she wanted to know from her allies without their permission, even though he was sure that was _exactly_ what she itched to do right then.

Finally, she pushed herself back from the desk and stood up straight, reaching up to tug her cowl slightly back from her eyes so that she could better see him.

"He didn't tell you where he was going?" Hux asked nonchalantly, steepling his fingers in an attempt to look calm and collected.

"No," Savat growled.

Hux raised one eyebrow at her reaction. "I'm sure he'll turn up eventually."

Savat was quiet for one beat, then two. "How is Rey taking it? Better than you, I hope?"

Hux stood up quickly, glaring at Savat. Curse her for being so perceptive. He respected her, even liked the woman, but he was _not_ interested in her trying to weasel her way into his personal business. Especially not now of all times, while he was trying to figure out what to do with Rey. "Lady Rey is currently ill and ensconced in her quarters. She is dealing with his absence." He had to offer her something—just not everything. "Now if you will, I have work that needs to be done." He gestured towards the door, attempting to politely dismiss her.

"If he contacts you, please inform me," Savat said politely as she took his cue with grace and walked to the door. "I'll do the same. Let's hope he has returned by the time we arrive at Jakku." She eyed him. "I really do not wish to lead these nerfherders on any sort of mission. He was always better at roping the Knights into a semblance of cohesiveness, as hard as that may be to believe."

Hux could believe it, actually. For all that Kylo was a volatile mess, to see him in charge of his Knights on the field, and the respect they granted him at all times... it was a sight to see. "I believe it," he murmured.

She eyed him one last time and then finally cracked a grin. He could only see her eyes crinkling, but he was sure her smile was wide and toothy beneath her half-mask. "I'm sure you do," she said before she turned.

He stopped her before she could open the door, however. He couldn't halt the question before it left his lips. "Were you there... when the Knights collected Kylo all those years ago?"

Savat's body language changed immediately. Her posture grew rigid and she slowly turned to face him full-on. Her eyes were guarded, though he wasn't quite sure why. Sometimes it was easy to forget that the Knights were a very private group, protecting their own and their secrets with a single-minded fervor that would benefit many of his officers. It was easy to forget that for all his relationship and respectful camaraderie with Kylo for the past few years... he was still an outsider.

"I am only answering because Master Kylo trusts you, General," she made clear. "Yes, I was. Why do you wish to know?"

Hux's mind flashed to Rey's question to Kylo the night before: _"Did you kill children, Kylo?"_ she had asked softly. Kylo's non-answer and stillness had been more terrifying than any tantrum he had ever seen from the man; more terrifying than anything he had seen from the man on the battlefield. It terrified him because he was _worried_ for the man he'd grown to care deeply for; worried that he would harm himself or do or say something that he could never come back from.

Hux hadn't exactly been _shocked_ by the revelation—he knew that neither he nor Kylo were _good_ men, per se... but he had been a little startled by the abruptness of the topic change. And if he had been startled by the abruptness, then Kylo must have been floored. And then he had _disappeared_ , making it nearly impossible for Hux to _cease_ the worrying that had settled deep into his mind. He had just left, leaving Hux to clean up the pieces from whatever it was that had happened with Rey, without a word as to when he would be back. And Hux knew he wouldn't be able to settle until he'd heard from the other man—such was the nature of caring for another.

The events that had lead Kylo into the Knights of Ren and into the First Order were some of the only things that Hux did not know about Kylo's life. The Supreme Leader had forbidden anyone from speaking of his former life and his transitive years, and had forbidden anyone from speaking the man's birth name. Yet Hux knew just enough, pieced together over the years, to realize that Rey was very likely talking about the night at the Jedi Academy. Everything else that Kylo had done over the years had been in the name of war, and unlikely to spur such a question from the practical woman, or such a non-reaction in the volatile man.

Hux just couldn't help his curiosity—especially when he was filled with such a fierce desire to _fix_ what had gone so very wrong between the three of them.

Hux didn't trust easily, however. "It was simply something that Kylo said," he hedged, deliberately edging his tone with a hint of aloofness. "It is no matter. Thank you, Savat Ren."

Savat dipped her head slightly in acknowledgement of his dismissal, though she eyed him with a slight air of disbelief.

He was thankful when she left, however, choosing not to push the issue just this once.

Savat's sudden appearance had cured him of all desires to see Rey right that moment, and he thanked every deity he could think of for the distraction. It had likely prevented him doing something unimaginably stupid—such as telling Rey all was forgiven even when it wasn't.

Returning to his desk, he settled himself into his chair, resolved to work for another few hours. There was much to be done, some of which he truly was eager to throw himself into. Calling up his messaging system, he asked Davidson to meet him in the schematics room in twenty minutes so that they could go over the state of the build project being based off of old Imperial designs of the super star destroyers. If all went according to plan, the first new model would be ready to be built within a year.

Technological advancement was _always_ a priority.

Kylo had been the one to introduce the topic of improving upon the design of Darth Vader's super star destroyer. Hux had never known Kylo to be interested in technology like that, but he was pretty sure that Kylo would always make an exception for _anything_ to do with that man. Hux refused to make a fuss about it at the time, simply accepting the idea on its merits alone—which were tremendous, indeed.

Clenching his eyes shut briefly at the mere reminder of Kylo—would he ever be free of anything that reminded him of that man? —he glanced back down at his datapad when he opened them again. Before he could shut down his messaging program and leave his office, however, he noticed a message from his mother. He glanced at the time and decided that he had enough time for her—he would always make time for her, even if they were not traditionally close. He would make time for her _especially_ when he needed to distract his mind from the man and woman who were laying claim to his every thought.

His mouth twitched up of its own volition as he read the words written by Marina Hux, detailing the day-to-day of the last few weeks, updating him on his father, gossiping about politics and other more personal tidbits of information... until he reached the bottom of the note and groaned. Marina insisted that her only son must tell her more about the woman who had caught his eye, admonishing him for not doing it sooner.

Well. This would be interesting.

He shelved replying for the moment, though his thoughts swirled around him for the rest of the day. There was no way he would be able to sleep, now. He thought of Rey, and of Kylo, wondering what exactly he could tell his mother about her, and if he dared tell her about Kylo. Although the galaxy had evolved in its treatment of relationships over the millennia, Arkanis—and his mother in particular—was a very traditional planet. She had not reacted well to his relationship with Leif in the past, believing that Hux had simply been fooling around out of spite towards her and her desire for the continuance of the family line. Although she would likely react well to Rey... the introduction of another man might still be too much for her. Polyamory was something he had never really heard her opinion on but, again, Arkanis was a little behind the rest of the galaxy on that topic as well.

He thought about his reply while he was poring over the schematics with Davidson, while he took a second shift in the bridge, while he ate alone that evening, and while he held Rey's lightsaber within one hand as his body refused to sleep throughout the night.

He even thought of Rey and Kylo as he stood outside of her quarters each morning over the next two days, before talking himself out of entering. He knew that if he saw her, he would break, and it wasn't time for that yet. His mind told him that she needed to stew for a while longer, even though his heart raged at him to do the opposite.

Despite all that had happened... despite the conflict, anger, hurt, betrayal, and _abandonment_ that he was feeling... he knew where his heart lay.

That, it seemed, was something that would not change.

* * *

Three days later, Kylo arrived at his destination. He had spent the bulk of the hyperspace travel meditating within the formless void, refusing to admit that he was running from his emotions. The only thing that had been able to pull him from the grips of the void was the alarm sounding the approach—Kylo briefly admitted that he might have been lost forever if the alarm hadn't blared right beside his ear. The absence of feeling or thinking was... enticing. Even with the alarm, it had taken everything he had to pull himself from the depths.

It was night time, but that did not stop him from landing the shuttle with a thump in the clearing. He left his mask and gloves behind, breathed deeply to center himself, and then slammed his fist into the panel that would lower the ramp.

Ignoring the pangs of hunger wracking his middle and the weakness besetting his body, Kylo forced himself to walk down the ramp after it had fully lowered.

The only thing that lit the overgrown ruins was a half moon.

Kylo stared at the landscape around him, though his thoughts were focused inward.

* * *

It was the fourth morning of her incarceration, and Rey was bored out of her mind.

She had gone soft, it seemed. Back on Jakku she could keep herself occupied when sandstorms shut her into her AT-AT for a week at a time, with nothing to distract herself. Here, she had books and enough space that she could practice her forms so that she didn't lose her finesse, and she even had meditation and other Force-based exercises that she really _should_ practice.

But none of it appealed to her.

Instead, she was stuck in an infinite loop within her own mind, barely able to shut it all down in order to get some sleep when she grew too exhausted. Even then, her sleep was filled with restless dreams that she could never quite recall upon waking—which happened a bare handful of hours after she closed her eyes, each and every time.

Her thoughts were her only companion, though she had tried to engage the service droids once or twice when they entered her quarters. She had always liked droids, but after receiving no response the first or second time, she had given up sullenly.

She had only herself to blame for her present state.

And yet... she couldn't quite find it within herself to regret the actions leading up to what had occurred. If she had to do it all over again, she would, even knowing what the results would be. Well, she might have perhaps bargained rather than outright let Finn go... but no. No. Rey knew that would have been futile. With Kylo Ren and Armitage Hux, it seemed it was better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.

Rey knew that they would forgive her. It wasn't a question of _if_ , but a question of _when_. But she also knew that she couldn't abuse their trust like this again—at least not for a _very_ long time. She knew that they wouldn't harm her, and so had followed through on her actions. And now she was suffering the consequences for standing by her principles, and could not bring herself to regret it.

Yet she _could_ regret hurting the men whom she loved—for love them she did, and she felt guilty at causing them pain.

She was wracked with guilt, but also with anger and hurt of her own at her circumstances... some of which was directed at herself, but much of it directed at the men, unfair as that might be. She had been locked up, Hux hadn't come to see her in three full days, and Kylo had _abandoned_ her—abandoned _them_.

All because she had demanded an answer to a question she felt she had every right to ask. He had personally killed children in an attack on the Jedi Academy when he had only been _fifteen_. Though Rey knew that he had likely killed many children since, or at least ordered the deaths of their villages as a result of the war with the Resistance, there was something that much _worse_ about killing those whom had trusted you... those whom you had grown up with... those who hadn't seen it coming.

It was different even than the countless millions of children who had died in the Hosnian system when Hux had ordered it be fired upon. She had made her peace with that, accepting it as part of the war even though her heart ached for the deaths. Yet that had been _war_ —it hadn't been _personal_.

And yet... and yet she still loved him.

For all her anger and guilt and pain... she still _loved_ him, just as she loved Hux. They had so _much_ to work out... so many things that stood in the way of them being together again, but the bare truth of it all, that she _had_ to admit to herself, was that she loved them.

That, in itself, caused guilt and confusion to wrack her mind and heart. For three days now she had done little else besides sit and stare, thinking on how it was possible that she could love these two powerful men whom many would argue were the vilest of the vile... evil incarnate... _monsters_.

But not Rey.

She saw into them... into whom they really were. She saw sides of them that no one else ever would, and perhaps never had. And it was all for her.

A sound at her door startled Rey out of the never-ending cycle of her thoughts. She did not, however, stand up. She remained sitting in the same chair that she'd been in when facing off against Kylo and Hux three and a half days ago, even as Hux let himself quietly into her quarters.

Their eyes connected and they stared into each other, each minute more charged than the one before it. They said nothing, though the emotions swirling behind Hux's eyes—and, she was sure, behind hers—spoke volumes' worth of regret, hurt, anger... and _love_.

Rey's heart felt like it was going to burst and it was a struggle to keep herself from throwing herself into his arms from across the room. It went deeper than not having seen another soul for three days... Rey could handle that. It was the relief at seeing _him_ again—at seeing that he still cared for her after everything that she had done.

Yet she kept herself still. Now was _not_ the time to give in. She couldn't make the first move. She was stronger than that. It had to be _him_. If she threw herself at him now... it would only look as if she were giving in and apologizing so that she could be forgiven sooner and be allowed out. She didn't want that. She wanted him to _know_ that she was being truthful when the time came to apologize and ask for his forgiveness.

Hux finally broke their staring contest by looking down as he pulled a datapad from his uniform's pocket with one hand, and a datachip out with the other. He stepped forward and then finally looked up once more as he arrived before Rey and offered them to her.

"Is that—" Rey's throat closed up, unable to complete the first sentence she'd attempted to speak in days. She _knew_ what it was, even before Hux nodded at her, understanding what she was attempting to ask. Rey reached up and took the datapad and chip from Hux, careful not to touch his skin with her own. Her hands were shaking and she quickly brought the items down to her lap so that she could control the evidence of her nervousness.

She looked up again. "Did you... did you..." She couldn't quite bring herself to ask if he'd looked at the message. She would understand if he had, but...

"No," he shook his head gently. He knew, again, what she was asking.

Rey's heart felt like it was caught in her throat. He _trusted_ her and her family enough not to check the message, even after what she'd done? "Thank you," she murmured quietly, looking at her hands.

He said nothing for a few moments, and then he made his way back towards her doorway. Rey looked up when he paused in front of it, staring at the clean lines of his uniform that were hiding the smooth expanse of his back from her view. "If you need... anything..." Rey was _sure_ he'd been about to say ' _If you need me..._ 'before he'd changed his mind, and she nearly got up and went to him in that moment. "... You have the datapad now and can ask for whatever you need with it."

Before Rey could say anything, he left.

She was left staring at the datapad and chip in her hands.

She was _afraid_.

That, more than anything, spurred her into shoving the chip in. She refused to let her fear rule her... and she _desperately_ wanted to see this. She needed the distraction, but she had also been waiting her entire life for this moment. Had dreamed about it, thought about it, and had arranged her entire _life_ around the idea that her parents were still alive and would care enough to return for her.

The mere fact that they had replied with a message at _all_ showed Rey that she shouldn't be afraid.

Shoving everything else aside with a few moments of breathing exercises, Rey settled herself back into the chair with her legs folded beneath her, and pressed play.

She forgot how to breathe for the entirety of the message, her mind going completely blank as she latched onto every word and image.

A fit older woman, wearing glasses with long ash blonde hair—the same color as in her brothers' image, Rey recalled—was seated on a couch in a homey living room beside a tall, muscular man. His dark brown hair was much the same as Rey's, though grey was starting to grow through the short strands. His beard was trimmed neatly, though it showed more grey than the hair on his head. Both were wearing a variation of the uniform Rey had seen all around the _Finalizer_ , though they were obviously starting to unwind for the day when they'd started to record this message.

Rey was relieved to notice that her parents were as much at a loss for words as she had been when she'd recorded _her_ message. It made her feel less self-conscious.

"Hello... hello Raelyn," her mother started. Rey watched as the woman reached out and grabbed instinctively for the hand of her husband... Rey's _father_. He squeezed her hand but kept his eyes on the camera, not speaking a word as his wife tried to figure out what to say. "Or do you prefer Rey?" she smiled sadly, looking off into the distance before returning her eyes back to the recording device. "If you're anything like what you were as a child, it's Rey still.

"I'm sure you're well aware of this by now, but my name is Selene and I'm your mother," she continued nervously, pushing up on the bridge of her glasses with her free hand. "This is Tim—Timothy. Your father. Your last name is Coiro. You... I'm also sure you're aware of this, but you had a brother named Phillip."

She glanced at her husband, who still hadn't moved or said a word. Rey's eyes moved to rest on his features as well, taking in the way he was gritting his teeth and clenching his jaw, holding his shoulders stiffly. She was worried that he was unhappy or angry or _something_ , until she noticed a gleam in his eyes of unshed tears. He was struggling not to _cry_ , Rey realized. As soon as she noticed that, she began to cry silently for the both of them. For all _three_ of them, she realized as soon as her mother's voice started to choke up when she continued.

"This is going to sound really silly, but our psychologists told us that we should stick to the bare facts and work our way up from there. Yes, we've been talking to psychologists for years to deal with this, and they know about what's going on right now, of course. But..." Selene trailed off momentarily. "Well, I don't think I— _we_ —could stick to the bare facts right now when faced with this opportunity; especially not after receiving your message.

"Oh _Rey_ ," she breathed, squeezing her eyes shut as her husband brought his other hand up to cup her hand against the one she was already holding, though he never took his eyes off of the camera. "Rey, you have turned into a beautiful young woman. I am so _very_ sorry that it took so many days for us to record this message to you. When I saw you... when I'd heard even the small portion of what happened to you that you were willing to share with us... I broke. I'm not ashamed to admit it. Baby, I missed you so much!" Tears coursed down her cheeks and she let go of her husband's hands to reach up and swipe at her tears beneath her frames. Rey's father placed his hand on her mother's thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Rey reached out towards the image of her mother and was startled into a gasping cry when she encountered the glass of the datapad instead of the flesh and tears of her mother. She clenched her eyes shut before snapping them open, desperate to not miss a single moment.

After a moment of pulling herself together, Selene looked back into the camera. "You might be asking why we didn't come for you; why we didn't find you. Just... know that we did everything we could. We were granted over a year of leave and, even after returning, the First Order continued to offer their resources in tracking you down. Not just because you could have been a possible asset to them," she grimaced, "But also because they truly do care for the well-being of their loyal officers." She glanced at Timothy. "Of which your father and I are _very_ loyal. They've been good to us. And you have said they've been good to you as well... But _know_ that we did everything we could to find you, Raelyn. We never stopped looking for you."

Her father spoke up for the first time, his voice gruff and deep with emotion. "When we heard that there was a map to Luke Skywalker," he growled out the name of the man who had helped to kill his son and kidnap his daughter, "I requested and was granted leave from the Academy to command one of my elite squadrons in search of the map. We were away for months, before we heard about the events surrounding the map and the destruction of _Starkiller_." He paused, and then spoke wryly. "I hear that you had something to do with that. It's funny how close we came to meeting, if you think about it, Raelyn. I was searching for something that would leave me to you, when you had already found it. Yes, General Hux informed us of the pertinent info. We have high enough clearance for that, and he felt we should know."

Rey was suddenly apprehensive; worried that he would never forgive her for being tied even briefly to the Resistance. But his next words assuaged her.

"Like father, like daughter, it seems," he laughed softly, his eyes still shining with tears that refused to drop. "Reading the report of your exploits, I had to struggle not to laugh. It would have been unbecoming of a First Order officer to laugh at the expense of his military and government, but... it's different because it's you, Raelyn. I— _we_ —know that you were caught up in circumstances beyond your control, but you gave everyone a run for their money. And you're where you belong, now, so that's what counts, is it not? I'm not laughing at the Order's loss, in the least... it's more like I am simply imagining you besting the best within the Order and making everyone incredibly frustrated. There aren't too many things that amuse me these days, and I've earned enough respect and latitude to get away with this.

"We're proud of you, Raelyn." Rey's heart warmed at his words, and the conviction with which he spoke them.

"We are," Selene agreed, leaning forward towards the camera with her elbows perched on her knees. "You've garnered the attention of the General of our flag ship." Her mother raised an eyebrow at that, and she winked where her husband could not see, startling a bark of laughter out of Rey at the hint of playfulness from the woman.

"Indeed," her father said, oblivious to the hinting that Selene was doing. "He is a powerful man and to have his approval means great things for you. And to be the personal Apprentice to Kylo Ren..." He exchanged a loaded glance with Selene, who had leaned back on the couch once more. "Well. You're going places, Raelyn. Study and practice hard, and do us proud, though we are simply happy to have you back in our lives." His last words were spoken in a rush, and Rey watched as he blinked furiously in order to prevent any tears from falling.

Rey was long past that point, her cheeks having been soaked since nearly the very beginning of the message.

Her mother picked up where her father had left off. "We love you Rey," she said passionately. She reached up and ran a hand through her long blonde hair, closed her eyes briefly, and then opened them to once again look at the camera.

Rey felt like her mother was staring into her soul, reaching in and grasping her heart and mind and enclosing it in her love. She had never felt anything like it before, not even with Kylo and Hux. She knew they cared for her—maybe even _loved_ her—but this was different. This was a parent's love... love that she had dreamed of and imagined for a lifetime and was only now experiencing for what felt like the first time.

She nearly missed her mother's parting words, she was so overwhelmed. "We'll miss you, sweetheart." Rey almost sobbed at that. "We know that your duties will keep us from meeting in person for quite some time, as will ours, but know that we're thinking of you, and that we love you." Her father nodded, smiling briefly before his face smoothed out once more. "Message us often, okay? And maybe sometime we can talk on a live stream if you get close to us. But we can wait. This is more than we'd ever dreamed or hoped for."

Tears were trailing down her mother's face once again, and her father reached over and wrapped one arm around her small body, pulling her tight against the side of his large frame. Her mother let out a shuddering sigh, but relaxed and then offered a small smile. "We'll be waiting to hear back from you, Rey. Remember that we love you." And with that, she touched her lips to the fingers of her free hand and held them out towards the camera—towards Rey—before shutting down the recording in the next moment.

Rey blinked owlishly at the datapad, tears pouring down her cheeks even as her mind raced to try and make sense of even a single train of thought swirling through her head. There was too much going on. She felt overwhelmed. Happiness mixed with sadness as the two most dominant emotions she was experiencing, but laced between them was anger, bitterness, love, pride of self, and a huge dose of anxiety. And all of that was from the video message—those emotions didn't even come close to including the ones she'd been feeling _before_.

She didn't know where to begin. The last time she'd felt like this, she had practiced herself into exhaustion and then called for Hux and Kylo to offer her some degree of solace and comfort.

Even though she had the datapad, now, and Hux had practically offered to be there for her if she needed it... she couldn't do that. Not yet. She needed to handle this on her own.

She pressed play time after time, until she could recite their words by heart, trying to make sense of exactly what she was feeling until exhaustion crested over her like a tidal wave, and she slept like the dead for the first time in days.

She slept through until the hours of the early morning, when a surge of immense despair and rage roared at her through the Force, startling her from her sleep and straight into wakefulness.

She grasped at her head and struggled to pull up her mental barriers. She had been unprepared, and thus it took longer than it should have for her to defend herself. By the time she was closed off tightly from the Force—though she could _still_ feel it beating against her with all the rage of a Jakku sandstorm—she was curled up in a ball on the floor, fingernails having dug crescents into her forearms until they pooled with blood.


	25. Lamenting

Sounds and smells and flashes of half-remembered scenes flooded into Kylo's mind. He should have known better than to touch the soot-covered metal of the lightsaber half-buried in the dirt, yet it had called to him... beckoned him... He knew _exactly_ what he'd been reaching for, and yet he couldn't contain himself.

And then it had whispered his name.

Not Kylo.

 _Ben_...

That was all it had taken for him to reach out and touch the tip of a single gloved finger to the blackened metal of the powerful weapon.

It hadn't been a strong Force imprint, but the flash of a child's fear and the scent of charred flesh had been enough to snap him out of his state of nothingness and right into a downward spiral—straight into his own memories.

Nothing was cohesive.

Nothing ran together in order—it was as if his mind was pulling memories from every dark, hidden corner of his consciousness and tacking them together in some horrifying attempt to overpower him.

It succeeded.

He _let_ it.

Curled up in the foetal position, Kylo tore his gloves off without thought, wrapping his hands around the cold durasteel hilt after yanking it from the ground, his forehead pressed against the tumble of stones lying beside his body. He was consumed with the desire to relive the memories that were flashing through him with greater speed and frequency.

He _needed_ this. As much as it pained him, he needed to confront this.

It was why he'd come.

 _..._

 _Ben Solo had known they would come that night. He had set the beacon as instructed. He had chosen this night, when Luke would be away until the early hours of the morning._

 _It gave them enough time._

 _It needed to happen this way, Snoke had said._

 _If there were to be true balance, it needed to be like this._

 _Ben hadn't believed every word he'd said—he wasn't stupid. The man had been in contact with Ben for years and knew exactly what to say to entice Ben... but he knew that he couldn't accomplish his goals_ — _his grandfather's goals_ — _from his current place in life. He needed Snoke, and the Knights, just as they needed and wanted him._

 _They would serve their purpose._

 _For that same purpose, the Jedi needed to go._

 _They had no place in the world he imagined._

 _..._

 _A flash of red hair peeking out from the edge of a cowl as an orange saberstaff cleanly pierced an older Padawan's heart._

 _The young man had been set to take his Trials next week._

 _Ben looked away._

 _..._

 _The scent of charred flesh._

 _The coppery tang of blood in his mouth, and its smell upon the air._

 _..._

 _Smoke filled the air around him, choking him and forcing him to raise the cloth to cover his mouth and nose once more. Embers and ash drifted in the air from existing flames, starting new ones as they landed on any and every flammable surface in the vicinity._

 _It wasn't supposed to have been like this_ —

 _..._

 _Screams. Fear. Anger. Pain... all drifted around him as if they were riding the tendrils of smoke that suffused the grounds and buildings._

 _It permeated the Force, filling him and threatening to consume him with the emotions raging through and around him. The deaths of so many Force users was creating a black morass from which it was becoming increasingly more difficult to escape from._

 _Ben focused in the way that Snoke had taught him, turning the emotions around and using them for his own benefit._

 _He refused to be swept away._

 _..._

 _The Knights moved through the buildings like ghosts... spectres of death come to lay waste to those who stood before them..._

 _Ben watched as a large man_ — _the one he understood to be the leader of the Knights of Ren_ — _chased two screaming girls, stalking them slowly and toying with them as they ran towards Ben. He saw the exact moment the Younglings noticed him, their faces filling with hope and relief and chasing away the exhaustion and fear that had consumed their features moments before._

 _The Knight was slowly gaining on them, his masked face not allowing for Ben to see what the man was feeling_ — _but he could feel it through the Force... a belligerent joy that sickened Ben._

 _All of the deaths were supposed to have been merciful_ — _that had been part of the agreement. Quick. Not torturous. Sacrifices for the end goal, and something insisted upon by the Knights of Ren for their assistance and alignment with Snoke._

 _Ben ignited his lightsaber, the familiar and steady yellow glow calming the two young children who had finally halted just steps before him. He whispered a beseeching prayer to the Force... to the Maker... to whoever, or whatever, was listening_ — _if they would still listen to someone like him._

 _Ben clenched his eyes shut and then forced himself to open them, meeting both girls' eyes, one after the other._

 _He lifted his saber and swung._

 _..._

 _The screams had ceased._

 _The flames raged higher than ever._

 _The clock tower shuddered and groaned, and then finally toppled over, sending a cloud of dust upwards to mingle with the twin plumes of black and white smoke swirling in the air._

 _..._

 _"I saved them from a worse fate..." he kept whispering to himself._

 _He wasn't sure who he was trying to convince._

 _..._

 _The forest was burning._

 _Night seemed like day._

 _Ben's heart pounded in his ears as he surveyed the damage before him from the top of the ship's ramp._

 _Everything was gone. Everything was destroyed, and everyone was dead._

 _All because of him._

 _Oh, the Knights of Ren might have found the Jedi on their own at some point... but Ben had helped that eventuality in becoming realized._

 _"We can finally be properly introduced."_

 _Ben jerked his gaze from the sights outside of the ship and settled it upon a large, burly man. He held the hilt of a lightsaber in one hand and a cleaning cloth in the other, but his eyes were focused on Ben. Ben's eyes flicked briefly to the mask sitting on the shelf beside the man, and then back to his face._

 _It was the man who had been tormenting Ysha and_ —

 _No. No names._

 _Ben attempted to school his features. "Yes, we can."_

 _Yet he made no attempt to introduce himself._

 _After a pause and a quick but intense scrutiny, the other man clipped his saber to his belt and then pocketed the cloth. He clasped his hands behind his back. "I am Dojyl Ren, the First Knight," he stated. It wasn't a boast; he said it as a statement of fact._

 _"Before you introduce yourself to me officially, I will offer you this one chance to decide who you are_ — _who you wish to become."_

 _Ben had been aware of this rite of passage within the Knights of Ren. Snoke had mentioned it in an off-handed manner but it had stuck with Ben ever since. He had thought non-stop of what name he would choose, if he ever took those final steps, knowing that it did not matter as long as it was_ anything _else._

 _He didn't want any vestige of his old life to come with him on this new journey. 'Ben' had become synonymous with the apathy of his parents, the cool dismissal and disappointment of his uncle, the regret that they felt every time they looked at him, the fearful glances that those around him sent his way without even realizing it..._

 _No more._

 _"My name is Kylo," the fifteen-year old announced firmly... fiercely._

 _Dojyl Ren inclined his head towards him and Ben_ — _no,_ Kylo— _was filled with pride and excitement at the respect he was being shown. It was more than anything he'd experienced before, it seemed._

 _"Welcome... Kylo Ren."_

 _Kylo looked beyond Dojyl at the two to three dozen men and women who were perched on various parts of the large interior of the ship. They were all staring back at him._

 _He felt... welcomed._

 _Respected._

 _Wanted._

 _Kylo Ren reached for the lightsaber at his waist by feel. Without looking at it, he threw it out into the smouldering ruins of the Jedi Academy. The one he had helped build._

 _It was now his past._

 _He turned back towards his future._

 _"Thank you."_

 _The smiles that greeted him made it all seem worth it._

 _..._

Kylo came to, lying on his stomach, face plastered to the dirt beneath him, tears coursing down his cheeks and causing the dirt to stick wetly to his face.

He groaned as he rolled over onto his back. It was day and the bright sun was piercing through his eyelids and scorching a path straight into the back of his skull. Coupled with the weakness of not having eaten—who knew how long the visions had held him under—and the emotional ravaging that the visions had pulled him through...

He felt like he'd been trampled by a gang of veermoks and then left out in the sun to broil.

It was _not_ a pleasant feeling.

He stared down at his hands, his mind desperately hoping that he was remembering wrong, that he wasn't holding a piece of his old self tightly within his grasp...

No such luck.

His eyes darted away, clenching shut as hard as he could manage before he opened them again.

No.

It was still there, the durasteel handle no longer cold and covered in soot, but warm and shiny from his prolonged touch. Despite the conflict in his mind, he did not let go of it.

Something compelled him to bring it... with him.

Carefully wrapping his mind in blankness, he shakily pulled himself to his feet. As he walked unsteadily towards the still-open ramp of his shuttle, he realized that his black robes had turned grey with the amount of dust and dirt which they had accrued. He truly must have been caught within the visions for a long time, though it hadn't felt _that_ long. He knew that the Force could sustain a body without food and water through meditation... it made sense that it could do the same for prolonged Force visions as well.

Kylo wasn't too surprised when he glanced at the date on the console—five days had passed since he'd landed. Five days that he'd been held within the vision.

Kylo felt... empty.

He felt used and discarded, tired and worn out... His mind put through the wringer.

He carefully—as though it were an explosive and not a bladed weapon—set the lightsaber down at the far end of the common area's table, and then looked away once more.

He shuttered his mind again, focusing for the moment solely on pulling apart some ration packs and devouring them as quickly as he could before drinking cup after cup of water. It was as if he was insatiable, but Kylo knew that he was overcompensating for the expenditure of power that the Force had inflicted on him to maintain his body throughout the days he'd been held in the visions. If he didn't eat and drink now, he would pay for it sooner rather than later.

Finally... _finally_ Kylo caught his body up on enough nutrients—and more—and sat at the table with his head in his hands. He opened himself up to his memories once more, knowing he needed to filter through them.

The memories felt... muted, somehow. As if he were looking at them through a filter; as if his emotions had been stripped from him, rubbed clean, and then returned to him. They were still there... just _less_.

Less all-consuming, less impactful.

Until his mind came to the memory of the two young girls.

His emotions bubbled up within him, stronger than anything else since he had realized how muted they had become. He felt _everything_ , and he shuddered to think what would have happened if the emotions had not been _lessened_.

A distant part of his mind realized that the Force had granted him a gift. Yet he had no time to focus on that—to focus on _why_.

His mind was latched onto the feel of his lightsaber—the old one he'd lovingly crafted as a child even before he'd joined his uncle, and which was currently resting on the table _oh so close_ to him—in both the present and in his memories... on the feel of it slicing through flesh...

He knew—he _absolutely_ knew—that he had granted those girls mercy that Dojyl Ren would never have given them. All of the Younglings, Padawans, and Jedi at the Academy had had to die that evening... but the Knights had promised swift, merciful deaths to their enemies.

It had taken everything in him to not strike Dojyl down right in that moment. He had quelled his rage and despair—only _just_ —knowing that he could not stand against the First Knight. It was then, standing over the bodies of the children he had _trained_ and lived with... it was then that he had vowed to himself that he would one day lead the Knights of Ren.

But what Kylo was feeling so desperately in that moment was a sense of loss; a terrible feeling that he had done something terrible that he could not come back from.

The girl... the _other_ girl, Açyvo... she looked so _much_ like how he imaged a young Rey would have looked like.

The reminder of Rey had plunged him deep into regret. A part of him still cared that Rey had personally betrayed him—and Hux—so that she could release someone she had known for barely a month. He had seen in her mind and _knew_ that she was still loyal to them, to the First Order, to the Knights...

He shoved that thought aside. It did not matter right then.

What mattered was that he had just up and _left_ them both—that he had left Hux to deal with how to handle Rey and her punishment; that he had left Rey on her own with danger lurking in many different corners...

It did not matter how much Rey would need to work for his forgiveness.

All that mattered was that _he_ would have to ask for hers and Hux's.

And yet he knew that he could not leave just yet.

There was work that needed to be done.

The Force was calling for him to lay the dead to rest properly—Kylo's eyes tightened and a still-muted spike of anger flashed through him as he realized that his uncle had never returned here after that first and only time he'd been here after the attack. Luke Skywalker had abandoned his duties and had abandoned those who had trust him their lives... and with their deaths.

The rites had not been spoken.

No one had ever set foot upon this planet since.

The Force cared not that he had taken part in their murders—it only cared that he was a Force user who could perform the rites.

Standing up from the table, Kylo hesitated briefly as he felt his hand guide itself to hover over his old lightsaber—over _Ben Solo's_ lightsaber.

Kylo Ren finally picked it up and clipped it to the back of his belt, horizontally.

If nothing else, it would be a good meditation aid.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and then, after a pause, smiled fondly, realizing that he was copying a mannerism of Hux's. Hux who he desperately wished to see again, to kiss again, to touch again, to _take_ and _own_ for the first time... and _Rey_ who he just as desperately wished to hold, and kiss, and make love to until she could handle no more, and then do it _all_ over again, no matter _what_ she had done.

The Force had shown him—had given him insight into his own shortcomings as a youth—that loyalty could be given to those who did not entirely deserve it. Yet that did not make the giver of that loyalty a bad person... it only meant they could make mistakes. It meant that they were _human_.

All could be forgiven. _Anything_ for the right person.

And she was. Hux was. They _both_ were.

Kylo took a deep breath in and let it out, calmer than he had been since arriving. Finally, he started to move, focusing on the coming rites that he would perform, and what exactly he could use from the shuttle that would work in lieu of the more traditional materials.

The sooner he finished what the Force demanded of him, the sooner he could return _home_.

* * *

 _She grasped at her head and struggled to pull up her mental barriers. She had been unprepared, and thus it took longer than it should have for her to defend herself. By the time she was closed off tightly from the Force—though she could still feel it beating against her with all the rage of a Jakku sandstorm—she was curled up in a ball on the floor, fingernails having dug crescents into her forearms until they pooled with blood._

Rey lay on the floor, her body slowly relaxing from its curled up position but ready at any moment to tighten inwards once again. She was tense, on alert... but suddenly feeling _so tired_ and weary, as if she could collapse back into sleep once again.

 _What was that?_ It was all that she could think about. The thought kept running over and over in her mind as she lay on the floor.

It wasn't that she couldn't get up... it was more than she didn't _want_ to. She still had yet to wrap her mind around what had happened, and so she stayed where she was in case it occurred again.

Was it... had something happened to Kylo?

Rey held her breath and clenched her eyes shut.

Oh _Force_ , she hoped not.

But... the rage and despair that had flooded her before she'd blocked it had felt remarkably similar to what she'd felt from Kylo in the past.

She must have drifted off because her eyes suddenly snapped open and she tensed as a foreign body lifted her into their arms, cradling her against a softer upper body than either of her men could lay claim to.

"What—?" Rey tried to speak, only to be shushed.

"Shh, quiet." Savat Ren's voice was low but firm, and Rey couldn't help herself—she obeyed the command and quieted down as she let Savat carry her without fuss.

The other woman's strong arms flexed beneath her, and Rey felt... comfortable. She wasn't quite sure why she wasn't freaking out as she normally would when being touched by someone she was mostly unfamiliar with, but Savat's disposition and character exuded gravitas and a commanding presence; one that said she would take care of those she deemed under her care and protection. And Savat had told her that Rey was _indeed_ under her care, the other day when she'd happened upon them in Kylo's bed.

She flushed at the memory but had no time to dwell on it as she was suddenly being gently deposited on the couch, and a blanket pulled over her lap.

Rey pulled herself into a sitting position, leaning against the couch's arm with her legs curled up on the cushions, and watched as Savat swept her cloak off of her shoulders and deposited it onto one of the end tables. She then adjusted the hilt of a lightsaber on her hip enough so that she could sit in one of the armchairs—Rey's eyes zeroed in on it, curious at the sight of the longer than average hilt.

Savat eyed her as she brushed her red hair from off of her face, her expression unreadable to Rey. After another moment of silence, Savat lifted her commlink and entered a code, waiting patiently for the person on the other end to answer.

"Yes?" came Hux's voice, causing Rey's heart to stutter at the sound. His tone was cool, expecting a good reason for the disruption.

"I am in Lady Rey's rooms," Savat answered evenly. "There has been a disruption in the Force, and I found Lady Rey upon the floor. I believe that it would be beneficial for you to be here when I explain to her what occurred to have placed her in such condition. It concerns your... Master Ren."

There was a brief pause, and then, "I'll be there shortly."

Rey's eyes widened and her breath quickened as Savat returned her commlink to her pocket, realizing that Hux would be coming _here_ and that she would be seeing him for longer than she had at any previous time during the last four—five now? —days. In an effort to prevent her heart from beating out of her chest, she sat up straight, placing her feet upon the ground—though still clutching the blanket over her chest—and asked Savat, "Is that a double-bladed saberstaff?"

A corner of Savat's mouth quirked up slightly before she patted the hilt to her side and replied lightly, "It is indeed. Would you like to see it?"

Rey held up one hand and waved it loosely. "Oh, no. _No_ , not right now. But... maybe another time? I..."

"I've seen you practice with the staves here," Savat interrupted smoothly. "You're quite proficient with them. It made me wonder why you did not have one as your main weapon."

Rey took a moment to formulate her reply; she had never really spoken about this with anyone since arriving here months ago, even though Kylo knew the bare facts. "I grew up with a staff and, later, daggers as my only weapons. I learned that to survive I must excel at them—and survival was _everything_ on Jakku." Savat nodded encouragingly but did not make an attempt to speak up, so Rey continued. "My lightsaber is... I found it, I suppose you could say."

Savat raised an eyebrow at that, but again did not interrupt.

"The topic has not come up to create my own lightsaber, and I have been training with mine as it has... called to me. It still does," Rey added as she recalled the odd tingles she would get and the whispers she would hear every so often when she touched the cool metal of Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber hilt.

"Then," Savat said quietly, "It would not do to contradict the Force. Yes?"

"I guess so," Rey replied, nearly as quietly. Then she cracked a lopsided smile. "I still think it would be cool to learn how to use a saberstaff, though. Maybe one day?"

"Maybe one day," Savat agreed with an answering smile, fuller than the last. "I would be happy to teach you when that day comes."

Rey's smile inched wider and then she and Savat settled into a comfortable silence, neither knowing quite what else to say... but also not wishing to engage in seemingly meaningless small talk in that moment. It was a relaxed atmosphere; not tense in the least.

Rey found she rather enjoyed Savat's company. There was something about her that helped her relax... that helped her mind to blank and release some of the tension and uncertainty that had plagued her since the night Kylo left.

The door hissed open and Rey stiffened slightly, casting her eyes to the floor as she heard the sound of Hux's boots crossing the floor.

He stopped in front of where she sat on the couch, and lifted his hand to hover beside her cheek. He hesitated another moment before he closed the distance between their skin—it was only as he touched her cheek that she realized he must have removed his gloves upon entering her rooms.

Rey glanced up in time to catch him settling into a crouch in front of her, adjusting her eyes back downwards as he lowered himself. His eyes were searching every inch of her body, his thumb sweeping rhythmically over her jaw line in a manner that made Rey's eyes start to flutter.

He hadn't touched her in _days_...

After another moment of staring at each other, another moment of Hux ensuring she was alright, he leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. His breath hitched slightly as he whispered, "I forgive you."

Rey's eyes immediately began to moisten and she blinked furiously as she pulled her face back from his to gauge the seriousness of his words. _Hux_ had granted her forgiveness before she had even fully apologized? It seemed like _madness_ , and yet...

And yet he was being entirely sincere.

Rey leaned forward and, not caring one whit about their audience, pressed her lips to Hux's in a brief kiss. "I'm sorry... _Taj_..." she whispered back as she drew away.

His slight smile promised _so much_ , even as he gave her one last caress with his hand and stood up, turning finally towards Savat Ren. "What happened, Savat?"

She raised one eyebrow at him and nonchalantly crossed her arms and legs. "You might want to sit beside your lady there. It's a fairly long explanation. Or, at least, longer than you'd like to remain standing. And seriously. Give that woman some love. She needs it after all these days locked up."

Hux stiffened. "How did you know?" he asked sharply.

Savat slowly sat up from her lounging position. "What? That you love her, or that she was locked in here for the last five days after that prisoner escaped? Awfully coincidental that one, but _stars_ , what do I know? I didn't see anything, so I _know_ nothing."

Hux and Rey simply stared at the Knight. One beat, two beats...

"What is your _point_ , Lady Ren?" Hux sputtered.

"Are you going to sit, or not?" Savat asked calmly. "I don't have to tell you any of this if you don't want to."

Hux stiffly sat himself down on the couch beside Rey, and all she could think about was that he _hadn't denied_ what Savat had said.

Was it possible that he loved her as well? Was it truly possible?

Rey took a chance. She moved herself over until she was pressed against his side, not caring that Savat was witnessing every moment of the exchange. Hux had two options: refuse to respond, or lift his arm to embrace her.

He chose the latter, his arm wrapping tightly around her shoulder and pulling her even more firmly against his side. Rey lifted one hand and placed it on his chest, feeling his heart beat beneath her fingers.

She sighed contentedly.

After a moment of simply pondering the two upon the couch, Savat began to speak, and Rey and Hux immediately tuned in to listen to her words. They did not, however, remove themselves from each other's embrace, for which Rey was extremely grateful—Hux was an extremely private man and thus he must have felt some degree of comfort with Savat Ren for him to have remained how he was.

"About forty minutes ago a few of us older Knights, who have spent more time than others with Kylo, felt a large disturbance in the Force wash over us—much like how one would describe a tidal wave," she directed the last specifically at Hux, for his benefit, and he nodded respectfully at her for her thoughtfulness.

Savat tilted her head to the side and then tapped her chin with a finger. She furrowed her brow and gazed around the room for a minute as Rey looked on, curious as to what the older woman was doing. Finally, Savat settled back and smirked. "No video or listening devices, General?"

But before Hux could answer, Savat continued as if she hadn't even stopped, "We've felt it a few times before and thus knew how to deal with it. But this one was stronger than normal. I knew that Rey would likely, as his Apprentice, have felt the wave as well and not been aware of what the cause was. So I came here and found her on the floor. She _definitely_ felt the wave.

"But I called you here, General, so that I could share with you something that I know Kylo would not ever fully explain to either of you—and, as someone who cares deeply for him, I feel like this is something you _must_ know.

"Based on your question about the Academy the other day, Hux, and the general location that the disturbance in the Force originated from, I would guess with ninety-eight percent accuracy that Kylo just landed on the planet that housed Luke Skywalker's Jedi Academy."

Rey's hand made a fist in the fabric of Hux's uniform as he eyes widened slightly. Kylo had gone to the site of so much pain? Oh... this had to be her fault. She never should have said anything. She should have locked him out of her mind.

She wished that Finn had _never_ told her about the Academy.

Now Kylo was out there, at the location from which so much of his personal castigation and despair emanated from.

Yet neither Rey nor Hux said a word, and Savat continued, settling comfortably back into the armchair. "You asked if I was there, Hux, the other day. I was. It was my first mission, in fact. My first true one outside of our training grounds. I was a little older than normal, at twenty, and it was long past when I should have been in the field, but we hadn't had many opportunities. None of that matters, however," she waved dismissively at her tangent.

"Our First Knight at the time, Dojyl, had aligned himself, and us, with Supreme Leader Snoke, with the hopes of discovering the location of and aiding in the eradication of the last of the Jedi. The Knights, you see—" She looked towards Hux, and Rey realized suddenly that this was likely more than any non-Knight of Ren had ever learned of the order, "—are concerned with balance in the Force above all things. We seek to remove the extremes from the galaxy in order to protect it—Jedi and Sith alike, along with a number of other extremist Force organizations over the millennia.

"Now, at the time we hadn't quite realized how Dark Snoke was—Dojyl simply saw an opportunity to remove the Jedi. One of our primary targets. But there was another purpose for the hit."

"Kylo's extraction," Rey whispered, the pieces finally starting to come together—though there was plenty missing still.

Savat inclined her head. "Kylo's extraction," she confirmed. "Snoke wanted him. As the grandson of Darth Vader, Snoke wanted to mould Kylo into what he wanted him to be—plus, turning General Organa's son against her was a coup."

Rey sucked in her breath at the mention of Kylo's mother, especially in light of the recent attempt on his life that seemed to have come from Organa herself. Hux tensed beneath her.

"Snoke pretended to be pleased when Kylo was immediately accepted by the Knights to their ranks. He had wanted Kylo to be trained with the Knights as he did not have the time to fully devote to his Apprentice, but he had not expected Dojyl to extend an offer for him to actually _join_.

"You see, Kylo was someone whom the Knights were interested in acquiring as well. It was one of the main reasons why we stuck around once he'd been extracted—it provided constant access to Kylo.

"Snoke saw a Dark Force user, where we... we saw something more balanced. We sensed the capacity within Kylo to be one of the most powerful, balanced Force-sensitives the galaxy had ever seen. Unfortunately, Dojyl did not exactly get what that meant for him, especially since Kylo had a vendetta against him, and the First Knight at the time had grown soft and _corrupt_ ," she sneered. "But... that is a story for another time. We are here to speak of the Academy."

Savat pulled herself up straighter in the armchair and then leaned forward to perch her elbows on her knees, clasping her hands together before her. Her flaming hair cascaded around her face and she peered at Rey and Hux from between the curtains of her hair. Her features had taken on a sombre cast and Rey gripped Hux's uniform front once again at the woman's severe expression. Hux tightened his grip around her body in response.

"The mission was get in, get out. Extract Kylo, kill the Jedi, burn the Academy, retreat and return for Luke Skywalker another day. Everything went according to plan, except we hadn't accounted for Skywalker being a _coward_."

Rey glowered at that and nearly spoke aloud in agreement, but she absolutely did _not_ want to get into what had happened between her and Luke all those months ago... even if Savat very likely knew everything about it already. But, she didn't know Rey's _feelings_ on the matter. Releasing the breath she'd been holding and relaxing the muscles of her face, Rey waited for Savat to resume.

"We..." Savat hesitated. "It was a little tough for some of us, I must admit. We had known that there would be children, but to actually be _faced_ with that reality and ordered to kill them rather than take them with us and train them in our path..."

Rey's heart clenched at the lost opportunities. What would have happened... how might that have changed Kylo's life if the Younglings had been taken rather than killed?

"Our mission," Savat continued, pulling Rey from her losing game of 'what-if', "Took a little longer as the ones who did not wish to kill the youngest made sure to avoid them, leaving them for those who did not mind as much.

"I must admit sometimes it seems as if our order has very little conscience... but there is a line for a good many of us. And that is one of them. Yet the mission needed to be completed. And eventually it was, Kylo claimed his new name, and we departed."

Savat leaned back suddenly, tilting her head back so that the long, pale column of her throat was exposed as she raked both of her hands through her hair. Hux and Rey were both silent as they rested against each other, spellbound by the woman's retelling of a secret part of Kylo's past.

When she straightened once again, she continued, her voice sounding slightly more strained than before. "Kylo wasn't supposed to kill anyone that day. Snoke had not said it explicitly, but he had wanted his new Apprentice extracted with minimal risk—he could be tested with the kill later, he had said. I remember Dojyl speaking those exact words. Well... I saw him in the field. I remember the way he wielded his beautiful yellow saber..." she trailed off for a moment, lost in memory, and Rey pictured a young Kylo... a young _Ben Solo_... holding a vibrant and perfect yellow lightsaber. Her heart _ached_.

"I didn't see him kill anyone, but years later he confided in me—I don't know if he'd meant to, but he was so drunk that he was nearly swimming. He confided in me that he'd killed that day at the fall of the Academy. Two girls—"

Rey gasped, and Savat glared at her, quelling anything that Rey would have said. She'd been _right_ , though...

Wrong. Oh, how she was _wrong_.

"Do not presume, Rey," Savat said, protective of her absent Master. "You know nothing. Or did the Resistance tell you certain things?" Savat's eyes narrowed."I can guarantee you that they do not know the truth. _We_ were there. Yes, you might call us biased, but not a single one of them was there—and did you know that none of them visited the site of the Academy after its destruction, except for Skywalker in the early morning after the attack? He left and never returned."

Rey was stunned, and she hadn't even heard everything. She held her breath and waited for Savat to finish. Hux lifted his other hand and held it over the one she was using to clutch onto his uniform jacket, scrunching the fabric within her fist.

"Two girls," Savat continued, "Were being chased across the grounds by Dojyl Ren. He was one of us who _preferred_ to kill the young ones, and would do it slowly, torturously... completely counter to our orders; to the agreement that Kylo himself had struck with Snoke—and by extension, with Dojyl himself. He thought that no one would notice in the mayhem. But Kylo noticed. The girls..." Savat swallowed thickly, averting her eyes for a moment before returning them back to pierce into Rey's own.

"Kylo saw what was happening. He knew if he didn't do something, they would be tortured. Dojyl thought that Kylo would say nothing, and so had planned to continue the torture as long as he could. The girls ran towards Kylo, having recognized him... Kylo knew that everyone needed to die. He didn't like it. He mourned them in his own way, and never quite got over what had occurred. But he _knew_ that it had to happen."

"So he killed them himself," Hux interjected for the first time, his chest expanding largely beneath Rey as he inhaled deeply.

"He did," Savat confirmed after an assessing glance. "Mercifully. Quickly."

Silence fell over the three of them for long minutes; the only sound that of their breathing. The silence was filled with tension, sadness, and anger... but anger at the circumstances—at Dojyal, and Snoke, and even _Luke_ —and not at Kylo. There was compassion in the silence, as well, and understanding.

And there was _relief._

Relief at finally _knowing_ what had happened—what had set Kylo on this collision course with his past when he'd seemingly abandoned them days ago.

No, he hadn't quite been abandoning them... he had gone to face his past.

Savat Ren stood up, gathering her cloak and pulling it around her shoulders. "I see that you understand, now."

Without waiting for an answer, she made her way to the door. However, just before she exited, she looked back over her shoulder at Hux's face, just above Rey's head where it still rested against him. "General," she addressed him firmly, but respectfully. "I expect to see my Master's Apprentice at the training rooms tomorrow after she rests. I have much that I wish to teach her in the absence of Kylo Ren."

And _then_ she left without waiting for a reply.

Hux huffed out an exasperated laugh, his breath stirring the messy hair surrounding Rey's tousled buns. "That woman..."

Rey didn't need to ask if that meant she would be allowed out of her rooms tomorrow; she had her answer. She had too much filling her head right that moment, in any case, for her to annoy Hux with the details of her release.

There were more important things.

Rey pulled back and up, away from Hux's warm body as she sat up fully. His arm slid grudgingly away from her body and he perched it on the back of the couch behind her, looking at her questioningly, softly.

"I need to stop judging people before I know the full story," Rey admitted quietly, sad at the realization that she had messed up so badly; that she had let other's words color her judgment so soundly. She turned to Hux and then leaned in, bracing a hand on his thigh as she reached up to kiss him gently. "I'm sorry, Taj," she whispered against his lips as she pulled a hairsbreadth away.

"I'm sorry, Kylo," she whispered again before settling her lips on Hux's once again.

* * *

Rey couldn't quite get to sleep. She was comfortable, warm, and happy, twined with Hux beneath the sheets of her bed, listening to his heart beat beneath her ear where it rested against his bare chest.

His arms were wrapped loosely around her, holding her pressed against his side, her bare skin flush against his.

They had fallen asleep in each other's arms every night for the last two weeks, enjoying the presence of the other at night even though they hadn't had much time to spend together during the days.

The only thing that could have made their life more complete was the presence of one surly—and absent—Force user. Though she and Hux were aware of each other's love, neither had spoken the words. They also hadn't done anything beyond share a bed and a few languid, loving kisses and caresses.

It didn't feel... _right_ , without Kylo.

Rey hadn't felt him in the Force since that incident two weeks ago, and she was beginning to worry—well, worry _more_. It was what was keeping her up tonight too, she was sure. Rey had been training nearly non-stop with Savat over the weeks since the Knight had practically ordered Hux to release her. They had been going over everything that she had learned about weapons and hand-to-hand combat, and _finally_ Savat had deemed her ready to begin learning saberstaff—two days ago.

It _should_ have exhausted her. In fact, her body was sore in places she hadn't ever imagined she _could_ be sore.

Yet here she was, still awake at nearly one in the morning. She'd felt antsy and agitated all day, as if there were something crawling around beneath her skin. Not even a massage from Hux had helped her, but she'd persuaded him that they should both still try and get some rest—he'd had a long day on the bridge and she'd seen the pinched look in his eyes that had heralded the likelihood of a full-blown migraine if it wasn't treated with sleep.

Rey's mind raced over the things she'd done over the last two weeks—not least of which had been the recording of another video message to her parents. That one had been longer and she'd been permitted by Hux to share certain details of her life aboard the ship, and by Savat to share select stories about her time with the Knights of Ren. She had yet to hear back from them, but she had only sent it four days ago.

She had told Hux about the message from her parents, though she had yet to show it to him—she wasn't ready for that. But it had been enough to open Hux up somewhat about his own parents, and Rey had extracted a grudging promise from him to let her include a personal message at the bottom of Hux's next message to his mother.

She'd kissed him _deeply_ for that concession, knowing from the little he'd told her about the woman that it could be like opening a door that would _never_ shut again.

Yet Rey wanted it _desperately_ —she wasn't even quite sure why it was so important to her.

Rey suddenly stilled at the crackling sound and sight of a _very_ familiar lightsaber igniting, held by a black form illuminated in red and standing in the doorway of her rooms.

"So you _have_ moved on without me?" Kylo's voice was filled with desperation, hurt, and _rage_ —and every last bit was directed at Rey and Hux, who was now completely awake, frozen together on Rey's bed.


	26. Frenzy

**Note: Please, PLEASE don't read this at work. Or if you do, you better have a damn-good poker face, k? Don't blame me for getting in trouble. :P**

 **You have been warned. My job is done.**

* * *

Kylo's frozen form sprang into action—he needed an outlet for the rage and desperation swirling around inside of him. He needed to move; needed to release the tension in him in the only way he had ever known. He hated it—he truly did—and yet it was the only thing that had ever worked for him, even if it left him with a hollow emptiness within him afterwards.

But that was much better than the tidal wave of emotions that was smashing through him right then.

Kylo reached down and gripped the hilt of his saber with both hands, heaving his form up and around and stabbing straight into the electric panel just to the side of the door he'd walked through moments ago.

As he'd walked through the door, he'd seen the people who were supposed to be _his_ entwined together, naked, looking as if they'd found more than just _comfort_ in each other's arms.

They had moved on without him, while he'd been confronting his past to steady himself _for them_ , wishing for their sweet embrace to soothe his fears, his aches, his needs... his _pain_.

He had wanted to be held so badly, and now he would _never_ have that.

He never should have opened himself up again—all it ever did was lead to heartache.

Snarling, he whipped long, tangled strands of his hair off of his face and then pulled his lightsaber from the panel, only to hack at the wall with it. It was the only way he knew to cope when he got like this.

He needed to _let go_.

The dim lights of the room flickered and then finally shut down, plunging the room into darkness—except for the sharp red glow of his lightsaber. It threw shadows against the walls which swayed and undulated as Kylo savagely let loose his overwhelming, all-consuming anger upon the wall of Rey's bedroom. Sparks flew everywhere and glowing plasma trails slowly died down into a dull ember glow on the durasteel of the walls. He let his frustration and anger and hurt swirl around him, within him, and flow through his limbs. The destruction of the wall was something he _could_ control—and he needed that more than anything right then.

The muscles in his shoulders burned, and sweat began to drip down his forehead, but still he kept going.

It suddenly wasn't enough just to lash out physically against the walls—he needed to speak; to rant and yell and let them _know_ beyond a doubt how much they had _betrayed_ him.

He shot a quick glance towards the bed. Hux had pushed a struggling, nude Rey against the wall and he was just as bare, on his knees on the bed between her and Kylo, trying to hold her back.

That made him even angrier.

As if he would _ever_ hurt Rey.

He screamed and threw his lightsaber across the room, where he was vaguely aware of the hilt bouncing off of the 'fresher door and dropping to the ground, the blade hissing and crackling as it attempted to light up the room from a distance. But it was enough to see the whites of Rey and Hux's eyes as they stared at him in shock.

Kylo was caught staring at their bare flesh, a twist of desire unwinding inside of him and his chest heaving with the strength of his deep breaths, before wrenching his gaze away from their bodies.

 _He couldn't have that anymore_.

All of a sudden, he whirled and beat his fists against the nearest wall, the glowing plasma burning the leather from his gloves and searing the skin beneath. He hardly noticed, more concerned with trying to stop the words that suddenly started to spill from his mouth.

But he couldn't stop them. Perhaps part of him didn't even want to.

"How could you do this to me?" His voice broke nearly immediately, and he raged internally at the outward sign of his weakness. These two were the only ones to have laid him so low in all of his life. "I leave only to come back and see that you've moved on without me—that you've already _fucked_ without me. Do you not need me anymore? Do you not _want_ me?" The last was said on a whisper, covered almost entirely by the sound of his forehead hitting the wall, only to rest against it briefly as he recovered his breath.

"I went through weeks of pain for _you_!" he screamed when he could finally breathe again, whirling back around to face them but not quite able to meet their eyes. His gaze couldn't settle anywhere, instead choosing to flit between the bed, their bodies, and the wall behind them—anywhere except the likely _fear_ he would see if he caught their eyes.

But he couldn't stop himself.

"I faced my past because I _love_ you!" he continued desperately, pain and anger and _sadness_ infusing his raised, uncontrolled voice, not able to stop once he had started. "I knew I needed to confront it and move on so that I could focus on you—both of you," he choked out on a sob. "And to see that you have no place for me—that you did not... that you didn't..."

He broke off with a strangled cry and lunged for the wall again, slamming his fists into the hard metal over and over again. He let the pain fuel him even further, encapsulating it within him; letting it flow through and in him, gathering it so that he could _use_ it and pull it like a shroud around him, never to be hurt again...

Kylo reached out his hand for his lightsaber when he finally registered that someone was yelling at him in return—and had been for a while now if their words were any indication. The voice came to his ears as if they were spoken at the other end of a long tunnel, and Kylo struggled to focus on the words. There was a rushing in his ears and he clenched his eyes shut, trying to will his heartbeat to settle enough so he could _understand_. He knew he had to, even if they had hurt him—perhaps he was a masochist for wishing to hear the hurtful words that would likely be said, but he still wanted to hear them.

"—you're not listening to me!" That sounded like Rey's spitfire voice, every word clearly enunciated and heartfelt. "Kylo!" He could feel a small form halting a few steps away, and his heart tore in two at the thought that she was too afraid to approach any closer. But he could do _nothing_ for that—not anymore.

He could no longer call her his own.

"Kylo!" His name was like a lightning strike, searing his nerves and causing the hair across his body to stand on end. He refused to look at her, but his body stilled—he was now almost completely frozen whereas moments ago he could not stop moving; could not stop raging.

"Kylo, listen to me." Rey's voice was softer but still insistent, and he tilted his head to indicate that he could hear her—though he refused to look away from the wall. "Kylo, I love you," she choked out, and his heart nearly stopped. "I love Hux—Taj, too, but we did _nothing_ while you were away besides share a place to sleep while we waited for _you_. Nothing felt right without you. Not at this stage in our relationship. Taj agrees," she pleaded, anxious to have him understand her. "He loves you, too—I just know it. Please come back to us. Please believe us. We've been waiting for you; aching for you every moment that you were away. Do you deny us the small comforts that we found sleeping beside each other while we worried for you?"

Kylo could only breathe. He couldn't react anymore. It was as if he were completely drained of all emotion—or, at least, as if it were completely swamped by confusion.

She loved him? _They_ loved him?

"Kylo, please—" Rey's voice was small as she choked on the words. She took another step forward—

Kylo was whirled around and thrown backwards into the wall, the plasma trails warm against his back, even through his clothes. Taj shoved a bare knee between his legs, pressing his thigh against Kylo's groin and grabbing his wrists, pinning them above his head against the wall.

Kylo was too shocked—too _thrilled_ by everything going on—to do anything. His eyes widened as Hux snarled in his face, barely an inch between their lips. "Did you hear what she said? _We love you_." The expression on his face was absolutely aggressive, but the emotion in his eyes...

He couldn't control himself. He bucked his hips against Hux's. The flickering light in the room from his saber was not nearly enough to catch the nuances of expression on Taj's face, but he thought he saw the other man's eyes darken. Kylo licked his lips and tried to pull a hand free from Taj's grasp so that he could touch him— _anywhere_ —but Taj growled low in his throat and clenched his grip tighter around Kylo's wrists.

" _Did you hear what I just said_?" Hux repeated, nearly word for word.

Kylo's eyes widened and he stilled, stopping his attempts to release himself. A thrill of arousal ran through his body at Hux's commanding tone, and it was as if his answer was drawn from him without him ever even planning to speak. "Yes, I heard," he whispered.

Two things happened at once. Rey stepped in closer, pulling his face down to meet hers for a burning kiss by placing her hand on his cheek, and Hux let his hands go and dropped to his knees before him, both hands lightly caressing his cock through his tunic and pants.

"Good," Hux murmured.

Kylo couldn't see more than the top of his red head of hair from the angle Rey had drawn him into for her kiss. It was more thrilling this way, he thought distantly, sluggishly, as Rey's teeth nibbled on his lips before she deepened the kiss with a swipe of her tongue, his hands drifting up to thread through her hair. It heightened the sensations, the anticipation, not being able to see.

One of Hux's hands reached under Kylo's tunic but stopped to rest on the zipper of his pants. Kylo started to push his hips forward, but Hux shoved him back against the wall with his other hand splayed over Kylo's quivering stomach muscles. Kylo growled but Rey pulled away from his lips, distracting him as she started to undo his belt's clasp, just above where Hux's hand rested.

"Wha—" Kylo started to speak, his voice gravelly, before Hux cut him off.

"Tell us what we said," he ordered.

"What?" Kylo was confused, and he simply wanted the sensations of Hux's hands on his body and Rey's kiss to resume.

"Just do it." Hux pushed Kylo more firmly into the wall with his one hand.

Kylo swallowed thickly, trying to gather his thoughts cohesively. "You... you and Rey said that..." His eyes fluttered closed. "That you love me... Please, don't stop." He hated begging, but these two reduced him to _nothing_ —he had no shame when he was with them.

It was as if Hux and Rey were rewarding him with that acknowledgement, for Rey dropped Kylo's belt and then reached up to wrestle Kylo's tunic over his head and onto the floor, leaving him in his undershirt, and Hux pulled his zipper down and released the button of his pants.

Yet Hux stopped again and Rey, obviously taking her cues from him, stopped as well, simply pressing her bare body against his side.

It drove him wild, feeling her curves and planes so tight against him when he'd been so _alone_ for weeks—but Hux's teasing was driving him even more up the wall with desire. He wasn't sure how much more he could take of being compliant before he lifted Hux up and fucked _him_ into the wall out of impatience. There was only so much he could stand of not being in control. Only so much he would _allow_.

Before Kylo could do or say anything, Hux spoke up again, looking up the line of Kylo's body so that he could catch Kylo's eye as best he could in the shadows cast by the flickering red light. "And you love us, Kylo. But our love for you stopped us from going further than caresses and kisses together, just Rey and I, while you were gone. We knew you'd be back eventually, and we _waited_. Do you understand that?"

Kylo closed his eyes and could only nod, his emotions nearly getting the best of him.

They _loved_ him. They _waited_ for him. They _wanted_ him.

He didn't deserve them.

The nod seemed to be enough for Hux as he reached down with both hands and began to pull Kylo's boots off of his feet, and then his pants from his legs, while Rey tugged on Kylo's undershirt. Soon he was as naked as the two of them were, and he opened his eyes when they stopped moving.

They were both on their feet, a step away from him, staring at him. The looks of hunger and rapt appreciation in their eyes caused his cock to twitch and brush against his lower abdomen. He took the time to return their stares, his eyes roving over their flushed bodies.

They were _beautiful_.

And they were all _his_.

Kylo had no more room for patience within him. He reached forward and pulled Hux against him, wrapping his arms around the thinner man's body, lips crushed against his. They moved against each other, rubbing their blood-engorged cocks between them, feeling their flesh meet and brush and _slide_.

Rey pressed herself against Hux's back and winnowed her hands between the two men's bodies. Her calloused hands caressed each of their nipples in turn, causing them to groan into each other's mouths and deepen the kiss. It became a contest of teeth, lips, and tongue, both vying for dominance over the other. Kylo was, at the same time, feeling both more in control of his emotions, and less in control of his _desire_. He was feeling more confident; less raw and bare and wounded, and more fulfilled, wanted... _loved_.

Kylo knew what he wanted, and he went for it. Placing his hands on Hux's shoulders, he pushed the other man onto his knees before him. Rey pressed her thighs against Hux's back and then leaned forward to place a kiss on the muscles of Kylo's chest.

Hux knew exactly what Kylo wanted and, while he was certain he would have fought Kylo's demanding nature any other time, this time he gave in with an excited, anticipatory growl. He wanted it just as much as Kylo wanted him to want it.

There was nothing subtle about the way Hux sucked his cock. He pulled Kylo's tip between his lips and then proceeded to suck him down, deep into his throat, stopping just shy of where Kylo could feel Hux's throat begin to spasm around him. As he pulled back, his tongue pulling along the underside of his erection, Kylo's hands dropped to Hux's hair to tug sharply, appreciatively, on the silky strands.

After a few more strokes which curled Kylo's toes, Hux pulled back fully, Kylo's cock making a popping sound as it left his mouth while a soft whine fell from Kylo's lips. Before Kylo could offer further verbal protest, Hux lifted a hand and cradled the other man's balls, lightly rolling them between his fingers.

"Touch her, Kylo," Hux's throaty whisper ordered. "Give her the attention she deserves."

Kylo's fluttering eyes met Rey's wide, aroused ones, and he lifted one of his hands from Hux's hair to pull her against his body. He could smell her arousal, the musky scent making him even harder, if that were possible. He brought his other hand up from Hux and caressed his large palm down her body. As he did so, Hux started to work his shaft with his mouth again, though he continued to play with his balls.

Kylo tweaked one of her nipples on the way down her body, reveling in the soft gasp which he elicited from her lips. He stared into her eyes the entire time he moved his hand over her, trying desperately to focus on her as Hux did _his_ best to ruin his concentration.

This was... _amazing_.

What was even more amazing was the widening of Rey's eyes and the breathtaking gasp of pleasure that left her lips as his long fingers finally swept between her thighs, parting her folds and hooking his fingers up into her. He had no patience, but she didn't seem to mind one _bit_.

There would be time to take it slowly later.

For now... for now he needed them both in ways he couldn't even begin to describe to himself.

Kylo flung his head back against the wall as Hux swirled his tongue in a particularly delightful manner, his fingers going slack inside of Rey for a split-second. His head made a loud thumping sound and he was sure it would hurt later, but for now he didn't care. The other two hardly even seemed to notice, he saw, as he pulled his head forward again. Hux was bobbing languidly over his cock, and Rey's head had fallen to rest against Kylo's shoulder, her eyes shut as she tightly grasped the hand that had returned to pumping into her shallowly, occasionally flicking her clit. The expression on her face was exquisite, and he wanted nothing more than to keep pleasing her as he was doing now.

Another hand joined his between Rey's legs, though only for a moment. Kylo's hand stilled and Rey whimpered, her eyes opening to see what was going on. Hux dipped a finger in alongside both of Kylo's, and then pulled it out, running the rest of his fingers over Rey's folds before he removed them completely. Kylo was about to ask what he was doing, when all of a sudden he felt his balls being released, his ass cheeks being spread, and the wetness of Rey's arousal as Hux's fingers probed around his entrance.

 _Oh._

Kylo had tensed up immediately, but he slowly relaxed his body, starting his fingers moving over Rey's clit and folds once more. It had been _quite_ a while since he'd been on the receiving end of anal sex, but it was certainly something he enjoyed—with the right partner.

Hux was definitely someone he trusted to _be_ that right partner.

Kylo caught sight of Rey opening her eyes again as he languidly caressed inside of her with his calloused fingers. She looked down at Hux. "What are—oh. _Oh_. I see." She shivered, but her eyes turned up to catch Kylo's heated gaze and he couldn't help but to lose track of his deep, calming breaths as she cracked a grin. She licked her lips, just as Hux swiped the tip of his cock with his own tongue, and Kylo moaned, dropping his head back to rest against the wall again.

Rey leaned up to latch her mouth onto Kylo's throat, licking and lathing it with her tongue as Kylo focused on relaxing around the second finger that Hux was inserting into him. The stretch felt _good_ , and Kylo was able to push aside the pain the same way that he did when he was meditating through an injury.

He—

"Oh _Force_ ," Kylo gasped as Rey dug her teeth into the skin of his throat. She didn't do it lightly either, and he was sure that he would bruise. The thought of being marked by his little spitfire was unexpectedly arousing—another rush of blood down to his cock made him even harder than before, panting desperately as his two lovers _ravished_ him.

Rey moaned against his skin and, when Kylo didn't stop her, she moved over another few inches and bit down again, and then soothed over the indentations with her lips and tongue. She pushed her breasts against his side as he continued to move his fingers within her—albeit erratically—wiggling her hips in an attempt to push his fingers against her clit.

Hux pulled his fingers out and then reached with his clean hand to gather more of Rey's juices from between her thighs. Kylo felt Rey shudder against him as Hux's fingers pressed against her clit on the way out. He wasn't sure how Hux was able to manage all of that with his hands while _still_ sucking his cock—though more slowly than before. He didn't much _care_ how he managed it, as long as he could benefit from the skills the man had. He obviously put his mind to sex the same way he did everything else in his life—with single-handed determination and a resolve to be the _best_.

Hux breathed out shakily, achingly—to hear the normally quiet General come undone even that small amount _thrilled_ Kylo to no end—and slowly worked a third finger into him, scissoring his fingers slightly, and Kylo's breath came in heaving gasps at the burning pleasure of it all. Kylo's fingers stopped moving and Rey reminded him that he needed to pay attention to her, also, as she clamped her fingers more tightly around his forearm and tugged it towards her body.

"Please, Kylo..." she murmured.

He knew what she wanted right then, but he also knew what _he_ wanted. And he'd be damned if it didn't happen on a bed for the first time. Gently pushing on Hux's shoulder, he extricated himself fairly quickly from between their bodies, picked Rey up in his arms, walked a few steps towards her bed, and promptly tossed her onto the sheets. She landed sprawled, legs wide, staring up at him with shock—but also with _hunger_. Kylo could see her expressions better from this angle, without his body blocking the light from reaching her, and the look on her face was _stunning_ as he crawled onto the bed, up and over her until he was hovering above her form on all fours, her legs spread to the outside of his knees.

Oh, how he'd been looking forward to this day.

He felt Hux settle on the bed beside him and Rey, near her chest, and shivered at the touch of the redhead's hand against his ankle. He looked over and saw that Hux had wrapped the long fingers of his other hand around one of Rey's ankles as well.

Kylo looked back at Rey, spread under him like a delectable feast. How he _loved_ her. How he loved _Taj_. These two people were everything he needed—they were conscientious beings, too, and he was ashamed that he'd ever thought they would betray their nascent relationship. He didn't deserve them, he thought, not for the first time.

"Rey, tell me now if you don't want to go any further. I need to know. We can do something else if you don't want to do this." Kylo wasn't sure where he'd found the strength to say the words with how desire-laced his brain had become, muffling nearly all proper thinking capabilities.

Rey looked him straight in the eye, calming her breaths so that he could know she was thinking clearly. She reached up a hand and cupped his cheek, lifting her head to kiss him lightly and speak against his lips. "Yes, I'm sure."

"Good. I wasn't sure I could have taken a no gracefully," he admitted with a soft huff of laughter. She smiled at him beatifically as she drew back, placing her hand on his hip and pulling him closer towards her.

Before Kylo could do anything else, Hux leaned forward and captured Rey's lips with his own, slanting his mouth across hers in a sight that stole Kylo's breath. He forgot every reason he'd had to be jealous earlier, focusing solely on the beauty of watching his two lovers kiss. There was such love and devotion in the kiss that he wanted them to never stop. It was stunning.

Hux broke away from Rey and looked at Kylo, smiling at him as his hair fell over his eyes. He pressed his lips quickly against Kylo's and then stood up, quiet as ever, moving behind Kylo on the bed and pressing kisses to the globes of his ass as Kylo angled Rey's hips upwards with one of his hands under her lower back. She was wet and glistening, completely ready for him.

 _She_ was ready for him. For this.

He paused momentarily as Hux pushed back into him with spit-slicked fingers, taking a moment to catch his breath. Looking down, he sought Rey's entrance with the head of his cock, slipping it just inside of her after a couple of false starts. He could already feel her walls pulsing around even the inch of him that was within her, and he gulped, realizing that he might not last as long as he'd always prided himself on being able to. She was wet and hot and _tight_ and—

He looked down at her, eyes widening in horror. He'd almost forgotten. "Rey, I... you haven't done this before—ever! I don't want to hurt you so I'll take it slow—"

"No!" she exclaimed, the light of his lightsaber making the irises of her eyes reflect red back at him. "It doesn't matter!" And with that, Rey quickly pushed up with her hips before Kylo could react, taking care of the problem for herself with nothing more than a brief wince of pain and a tightening of the muscles within her core around Kylo's cock. She had taken him nearly to the hilt, and Kylo could only _stare_. Hux's hand and fingers stilled, and Kylo could feel him angling around so that he could look at Rey.

"I'm _fine_ ," Rey snarled. "Just _move_ , damn it, or I'll keep moving myself. Because, Maker hear me, if you don't continue what you started..."

She quieted as soon as Kylo flashed her a small smile and then began to slowly—oh, _so_ slowly—move within her. She was tight, and her body was quivering at the stretch of his width within her. She hadn't been adequately prepared for this, but he could do his best to make sure it was still good for her.

When he was as far into her as he could be at this angle, her head lolling back on the sheets as she raked her fingernails down his biceps, leaving thin red scratches on his pale skin, Kylo moaned in anticipation as he felt Hux remove his fingers from his ass. Moments later, the tip of Hux's cock was pressing slowly into him. He stilled, but Hux gripped his hips and slowly drew him back, his cock gliding out of Rey, and pushing his entrance onto Hux's spit-slick cock. He took it slowly, his widened eyes enough of an indication to Rey as to what was going on, and by the time he was just on the verge of falling out of Rey, Hux bottomed out inside of him.

They stayed like that for a long moment, all three trying to catch their breaths. Kylo felt filled to the brim, his nerves on fire. He could feel every ridge of Hux's cock as it shifted within him when they started to move again, and every press of Rey's walls around him as she clenched and moved, desperate for him to pick up the pace. Her mouth had fallen open and her eyes had closed, one hand tugging sharply at Kylo's hair as the other twined with one of Hux's against his hip.

Her mind had become unshielded and Kylo was nearly overwhelmed by everything she was feeling and thinking and imagining, while trying to deal with the physical sensations that his _own_ body was experiencing. She was feeling exhilarated, filled, pleasured, wanted, and _loved_ , most of all, her mind a haze of desire around all the other emotions, pleasure and sensation swamping her and frying all conscious ability to think.

Kylo could only smile at that before he blocked the majority of her projected thoughts from his mind—if he fell into her mind he would _not_ last—and on his next, quicker thrust forward, he stopped and leaned his head down towards her neck, biting down just as she had done to him earlier. He was mindful to stop before it became too much for her, but as he drew back and looked at the mark he'd left on her to match his, he felt another rush of blood fill and thicken his cock even further.

Rey gasped, her eyes fluttering open so that she could stare up at him, shadows playing across both of their faces, kissing him briefly before she tightened her walls around him—he was sure she'd done it deliberately, the little minx.

Kylo groaned in response, rearing back onto Hux and glorying in every inch that went into him, and in every inch of Rey he glided against as he moved.

Sliding his hand out from between the bed and Rey, Kylo positioned her legs so that her knees were bent, and then reached his hand between them to find her clit. He pressed the pads of two fingers on it before pulling the hood back from over top of the bundle of nerves with one finger, and teasing the clit with the other.

"Oh _stars_!" Rey nearly shrieked, and Kylo clenched his teeth as she gripped his cock tightly within her in response at the same time that Hux thrust forward, angling his hips to catch that sensitive spot within him.

They weren't going to last long at this rate, Kylo mused distantly. _But that's okay. Now that we have each other, we can do this over and over and..._

He nearly saw stars as Hux quickened the pace, pressing against that spot again and again, his cock sliding smoothly in and out of Kylo's ass as he did the same with Rey. She was gasping beneath him, her body twitching and her hands clenching. She finally moved both of them up to her head, threading her hands into her hair and gripping as she'd done to Kylo, tossing her head back and forth and bucking her hips slightly up into Kylo's on each thrust.

The sensations were nearly overwhelming as they fell into a rhythm; pushing, pulling, backwards, forwards... sounds of all kinds—flesh hitting flesh, groans, gasps, moans, the slight creaking of the bed, and the hiss of the saber—filling the space that was lit by the flickering red light of Kylo's lightsaber.

Suddenly Kylo was cresting—it had come upon him so suddenly he hadn't had the chance to warn anyone—and he was at once filled with toe-curling, limb-numbing pleasure, and the _desperate_ thought that he hadn't brought Rey to orgasm before him. His hips stuttered even as Hux kept pounding into him, prolonging the please as he pressed against his prostate until it was nearly _too much, too much_ —

He pinched both of his fingers around Rey's clit, hard, angling his hips as best he could through the jerky motions of his orgasm, and then folded himself awkwardly so that he could latch onto her nipple at the same time. He barely managed the feat, but it was worth it when he felt her clenching around him more than before as he bit her nipple nearly as hard as he was pinching her clit. Her response to his bite on her neck earlier had him thinking that _this_ would do the trick...

And it did. Rey came undone beneath his hands, mouth, and the softening glide of his cock within her. She clenched tight around him, arching her back upwards in the throes of her orgasm, and a wail erupted from deep within her throat as Kylo continued to bite and suck and lathe at her nipple. He kept going until she'd fallen back against the bed, nearly boneless beneath him, her eyes shut and her hands still gripping her hair—though her fingers were loosening slowly as she relaxed inch by inch.

Hux pulled Kylo back against him, his back flush against Hux's chest and one of the redhead's arms wrapped around him so that he could splay his hands against the base of Kylo's throat, pressing lightly as his other hand gripped Kylo's hip tightly. Hux thrust into him, this new angle nearly making Kylo scream from the oversensitive pleasure of it all, though he kept his eyes opened wide. The new position had pulled Kylo from within Rey, but he was too distracted to care by the thoroughly enticing sight of his come slowly trickling from her folds, smearing on her beautiful, tanned skin as she started to stir—never mind the feel of Hux's cock sliding deep inside of him.

He caught Rey's eyes finally opening as she groaned, and when she said, "Oh _stars_ , Kylo... Taj... you look amazing..." Hux squeezed Kylo's throat harder than before—though not too hard—thrust hard one more time, and came deep inside of Kylo with a great, shuddering exhale.

They both collapsed forward, Kylo only barely stopping them from falling onto and crushing an already half-asleep Rey. He rolled them to the side, and the last things he remembered were Rey's mind reaching out towards his and sending him the greatest sense of _peace_ and _acceptance_ he'd felt in years, and Hux reaching around Kylo to pull Rey closer to them both.

His fluttering eyelids briefly acknowledged the flickering red of the room, and then there was only darkness.

* * *

Savat rolled over in bed, finally able to relax after the waves in the Force had settled down. The entire event may have kept her—and likely a couple of the other Knights—awake for the last while, but at least it had been a rather pleasurable distraction... after Kylo had stopped throwing a tantrum, that is.

She pressed her body against Samantha's side. She had fallen asleep not too long ago after Savat had wore her out—she _had_ needed an outlet after she'd figured out exactly what was going on with Kylo. Even with her mental barriers in place, she'd been buffeted from the outside—she'd have to find a way of safely telling her Master off for his faux pas, forgetting to block while having what seemed to be phenomenal sex.

Sam hadn't complained, at least.

Letting her red hair fall around her face, Savat ran her teeth along Sam's jaw in an attempt to wake the Major.

"Hmmm?" Sam groaned, her eyes fluttering open as she reached up with a hand to push her blonde hair away from her face. "What is it, Savat? What time is it?" she asked, confused.

Savat trailed her fingers between the second's breasts before asking, "Can you remotely access the General's commlink to turn off his alarm and cancel his shift? That thing I was feeling earlier was Lord Ren arriving back and he, Lady Rey, and Hux getting... _reacquainted._ " She smirked, thoroughly enjoying the thought of having been able to facilitate them reuniting in _this_ manner, so quickly—at least in her opinion she had something to do with it. "I think he could use the morning off, don't you?"

"We have that meeting with Captain Phasma tomorrow about the Jakku mission, but I suppose Hux doesn't particularly need to be there..." Samantha mused, and then her eyes narrowed and she propped herself up on both elbows to better look at Savat. "How do you know that Lord Ren... never mind. I don't want to know." She blushed and fell back in the bed, tossing an arm back over her head before rolling over and reaching for her datapad, punching in a series of remote access codes as if by heart.

Good. She and Sam could cover the meeting with Captain Phasma tomorrow, and there would be time enough for Kylo to address the Knights later that day. Savat, as his second, had taken over the training regimen that Kylo had been working on establishing with Savat before he'd left. She'd taken it a step forward, incorporating possible things the Knights might need to be prepared for depending on what they would be deciding for the mission. It had already been put off long enough, but one extra half day wouldn't hurt... The trio truly needed this time to reconnect and heal.

Sometimes the First Order simply seemed to forget the human component of their foot soldiers and officers.

Savat settled back in, curled against Samantha's side as she worked, and fell back to sleep with a smug smile tugging at her lips.


	27. Tranquility

**Note: Yeah, don't read the end of this one at work either. Or church. Or whatever public place you are in. :P**

* * *

Rey was slowly pulled from the depths of sleep, the movement of what felt like a wet cloth over her body making her nerves fire up. Her breath hitched as she stretched languorously, the cloth pausing momentarily before resuming its path up the inside of a thigh, ghosting over her privates, and then down the other thigh.

She finally opened her eyes, a blush burning on her cheeks and chest, and caught the eyes of Hux who was propped up on an elbow and lying beside her on the bed. She offered him a shy smile before her eyes swept down her body to where the cloth was inching higher and higher...

As the cloth swiped more firmly over her labia, she let out a gasp, and Kylo's hand froze at the same time as his head snapped up to catch her gaze. They stared at each other for a moment, slight embarrassment tingeing Rey's mind, but Kylo's eyes... they were dark and hooded, filled with lust and appreciation, and Rey's lips parted slightly as wetness pooled between her thighs and she shifted her legs together in an effort to ease the sudden _ache_.

The movement caught Kylo's hand between her legs and he broke her gaze to look down again before pulling his hand and the cloth away from her body and throwing it onto the floor.

Hux chuckled softly as Kylo moved from his kneeling position by her hips and onto his side, spread out alongside Rey on the other side from Hux. "Hmm, looked like she was about ready to pounce you," he said with a smile, his hand lifting up to trace the fine, silvery scars across Rey's abdomen.

Rey wanted to cover up out of embarrassment, not quite sure how to handle this... _this_... waking up beside them after what they had _done_. She shifted her body slightly and winced as a dull throbbing pain spread across her pelvis and lower stomach and back. It wasn't _bad_ , but it wasn't something she was used to. It had caught her off guard.

Hux's hand stilled for a moment and Kylo reached over with his own hand and pressed it firmly right over the curls between her legs.

"Are you sore?" Hux asked calmly, his voice low and reassuring.

Rey relaxed immediately at the sound.

"A little," she answered honestly as she pulled herself up until her head rested more comfortably on the pillows at the top of the bed. She had propped her head up so that she could see their eyes, and their bodies, much more comfortably. A quick glance around the room showed that one or both of them had fixed the electric panel enough for half of the lights to work in the room, and that Kylo's lightsaber was no longer crackling on her floor―rather, it was perched on one of the shelves by her door.

"A bath would help that nicely," Kylo murmured, his voice roughened from sleep, still―and from shouting and screaming last night, she remembered with a wince. Well... _that_ had been an eye-opener, but it had worked out _so_ well...

Shaking her head of those thoughts, for the moment at least, Rey retorted, "I don't _have_ a bath―I've never even taken one." Not that she hadn't been _curious_...

Two pairs of eyes slowly turned to look her fully in the face, and Rey nearly giggled at the looks of incredulity that graced their features. "What? It's not like we had an excess of water where I grew up."

Hux was the first to speak up, after working his jaw for a moment as if trying to figure out what to say. "Well, I suppose a hot shower will do, but I'll see what I can do... you really must try a bath sometime."

"I have one in my quarters," Kylo interjected, though he said nothing else.

Hux lifted an eyebrow and Rey groaned. "No, stop it. No need for competition right now, okay?" She couldn't keep the humor out of her voice, however. "I'd love to try a bath sometime, and a shower sounds good, but not right now. Right now I'd like..." She gathered her courage―how could she be so _shy_ after last night?

After everything they'd _done_ and _said_?

For kriff's sake, she was _naked_ right now beneath their very eyes, and she couldn't ask for a simple _kiss_? She blushed even further, feeling it spread over the tops of her breasts.

"What would you like?" Hux's voice had deepened to a husky growl, and he dipped his head to place a kiss along the edge of her blush, near the nipple of her right breast. Rey let out a soft, breathy sound as she felt a spark of pleasure course down her nerves.

Kylo's hand started to move very slightly, his fingers combing gently through the curls of her mound. Remembered pleasure―and current―swept through her body, and she felt herself growing even wetter than earlier. Rey squirmed slightly beneath their touch, her eyes widening and her breaths coming more quickly than before.

Having these two men pay her their undivided attention... it was... it was...

How could she be so _lucky_?

"I just... I just want a good morning kiss," she breathed shakily.

Kylo's mouth was closer and she found her lips immediately captured by him in a deep kiss, his tongue sweeping past her parted lips and around her mouth, causing Rey to groan against him. Yet before she could react much more than that, he was drawing back and Hux was capturing her lips in a softer, gentler kiss, his tongue barely caressing the crease of her mouth before retreating. The two men were so different in their wants and needs, in how they went about their lives... and yet they were both powerful leaders, similar in many ways... and similar in their love for her and each other.

"I love you... both of you," she whispered after Hux drew back.

She suddenly found herself being pulled―gently, though, for which she and her body was grateful―on top of Kylo, who had rolled onto his back. He braced Rey on top of him, thighs to thighs, though her head only reached his chest and her stomach was pressed firmly against a growing erection. Rey flushed at the memories that suddenly flooded her, and she felt Kylo press slightly against her mind, grinning at what he found her thinking on.

Yet he didn't want to talk about that.

"Say it again," Kylo pressed, even as he reached out to Hux with the hand that wasn't pressed against Rey's lower back. Hux caught the hand and edged closer towards Rey and Kylo, holding Kylo's hand between their bodies, their fingers laced together and his thumb sweeping over the skin of the other man's large hand.

Rey propped her chin up on top of her folded up arms that were resting on his broad chest, and stared him in the eye. "I love you," she said again, firmly. She pushed her feelings at him through the Force, trying to project whereas before she had only ever tried to stop herself from doing so.

Kylo's eyes fluttered closed, and Hux leaned over to press a kiss to the dark-haired man's lips. He muttered against them, "I love you, Kylo."

A great, shuddering breath left his body on an exhale, though Kylo's body continued to shake slightly beneath Rey's body for another few moments. His hand clenched on Rey's back, though it finally relaxed shortly after his shaking stopped. "I love you both also," he finally whispered, his eyes still closed.

Hux lowered his head to rest on Kylo's shoulder, and Rey placed her head back onto her crossed forearms, settling comfortably on top of Kylo's body. They stayed like that for what felt like twenty minutes by Rey's internal clock, quietly breathing and listening to the others breathe, shifting slightly against each other, but just generally enjoying the feel of each other's bodies against themselves. Enjoying the quiet and peace and love that was swirling between them all.

"Aren't you supposed to be on duty?" Rey finally murmured into the stillness, her face still pressed against her arm, having realized that it felt like mid-morning, long past when they were due―or at least when Hux was due on the bridge.

"It seems that my second hacked into my comm and canceled my alarm _and_ my shift both, in the middle of the night," Hux answered dryly, though Rey could sense the amusement―and exasperation―rolling off of him in waves. "I wonder how she knew to do that..." he queried.

Kylo snorted. "I have an idea on that," he replied, good humor coloring his words, though he did not elaborate. Hux knew better than to ask, and Rey was simply too comfortable to inquire further―it could wait, in any case. It was enough that she had them for hours more than she'd expected.

It was _more_ than enough that she had Kylo back in her―in _their_ ―arms.

She'd been worried that he would never return, or that if he did... he would never want her, love her, again.

They settled back into a comfortable silence, but Rey's mind had started to churn and she was unable to stop it. She knew, eventually, that she would have to speak... to clear the air between them.

She drew in a deep breath and started to speak, keeping her eyes closed and her face averted from Kylo. She was looking towards Hux, but he had already heard this from her. It was Kylo's turn now... "I'm sorry that I let him go. Fi―"

Kylo stiffened, but she felt him will himself to relax even as he interrupted her gruffly. "There's no need to apologize. I've forgiven you already."

Rey was surprised at that revelation, and she could feel Hux's slight shock―and curiosity―thrum through him. They were so closely wrapped together that it didn't take much for Rey to feel the men's emotions, though Kylo had started to pull back mentally as she started this conversation.

"No, please. I need to at least tell you why I did it. It's important to me, even if you _have_ forgiven me... which... _thank you_." She still couldn't open her eyes.

Kylo paused, and she could tell he was mulling it over. Hux was waiting patiently, letting her and Kylo work this out. "Very well," Kylo finally agreed. He forced his body to relax, and he pulled his hand from Hux's so that he could wrap both of his arms around Rey. "Just know that... know that there is very little I could never forgive you for."

Rey felt tears prickle behind her eyelids, and she turned her face into her arms to wipe the moisture away before resting her cheek on her forearm once again. She breathed deeply and began. "Finn―yes, I know that's not what you called him," she interjected quickly before they could say something scathing, "―he was my first friend, I guess you could say. He and I met entirely by accident on Jakku. I never had any friends on Jakku, but here comes along this young man who is boisterous, fun, and full of grandiose tales of adventure and intrigue... well, that was after we escaped Jakku. But he was definitely boisterous, at least, even in the beginning. If... if it weren't for him I wouldn't have ever left Jakku. I'd still be waiting there for parents who would never be coming, I know now, and I'd still be starving, toiling my way feebly through the ship graveyards in the hopes that I would never have to make the choice between starving or selling my body."

Hux let out a little grunt, as if he were forcibly stopping himself from saying anything, and Kylo's fingers clenched into her skin before he relaxed them and he began to stroke the bare skin of her back in a soothing manner. Hux's hand came up to thread through her hair, rubbing gently over her scalp. It was not a topic they wished to speak of―any of it―but they were listening, and they were offering comfort.

They were good men, at their core. No matter how they appeared to the rest of the world, with her... with her, she knew them to be gentle and loving, and she often wondered what she'd done to deserve them.

She continued, enjoying the feeling of their hands on her, even as she spoke of a topic that had caused such strife between them two weeks ago. "Finn saved me from that. As much as I hadn't wanted to leave at the time, and had desperately wanted to go back... even if I hadn't learned who my parents actually were... I would have realized how lucky I was to have been pulled from that cesspool of a planet, a slave to the whims of a few lucky individuals." She took a deep breath. "So... I owe Finn for that. I was repaying my debt, and we're even now. But I also... he's a good man. He was trying to do what he felt was right, and escape from something he was forced to grow up in. He never asked to be raised by the Order."

Hux's hand tensed in her hair momentarily, but continued to comb through her hair again after a couple of seconds. Kylo's breathing changed but he kept his hands circling over her back, occasionally dipping over the flesh of her ass and making her shiver slightly against him. Yet neither of them said anything, waiting for her to indicate that she was done.

"I... even if I believe in the Order, I don't want to force people to agree with me. He had the right to freely choose, in my eyes, and... and... I just don't like seeing people tortured," she finished on a whisper and, though her interrogation had been nothing, in her eyes, her mind flashed back to that fateful day on _Starkiller_. "I wanted to do what I felt was right," she continued after composing herself and her thoughts. "I couldn't stand by and let that happen. I wouldn't have been... _me_... if I had. I don't want to lose myself. To lose who I _am_."

After another brief pause, she finished with, "I can't apologize for doing what I did. I'm not sorry for that. But I _am_ sorry for hurting you; for betraying you. I knew that you would feel like that, and yet I still did it. I took advantage of both of you, because I knew there was the slimmest chance you would kill me over it. It became worth the risk. But I'm _truly_ sorry for hurting you. Just... know that I won't do that with anyone else. I... yeah. That's it." And with that she quieted, burrowing her head into her arms and breathing deeply, waiting for one of them to be the first to speak. Hux had already heard all of this, and so she was sure he would leave it for Kylo to respond.

He did, after nearly a minute of tense silence, though his hands had never ceased their motion across her skin. Rey took solace in that fact. "Thank you," Kylo finally said, his voice low and gravelly. "I saw it in your mind before... before. That this was not anything against the Order, or against us... that it was a personal debt being paid and that you hurt at seeing a... friend," he said the word awkwardly, as if he couldn't quite equate the idea in his head with the ex-Stormtrooper, "In pain and in need. I... thank you, and I forgive you. I trust you, and this trust has not been impinged, even with what happened. Just..."

Kylo brought one hand around and circled his fingers beneath her chin, drawing her up to look at him. She opened her eyes slowly, but without him having to ask, and met his gaze. His brown eyes were dark but warm, understanding and loving. "Sometimes we need to torture our prisoners. Do you understand that, Rey? It's important that you do."

She refused to look away as she slowly nodded. "I understand that. I do. Just... Kylo, you have the ability to get information without physically harming individuals, at least for the most part. Like... like what you tried with me. We both know why it didn't work with me, but with others... it would work, and you won't need to hurt their bodies. Can... I know you can't promise me this―I'm not stupid―but can you _try_ to do it like that, if you are given further interrogations? I know that you aren't in charge of them all, but you can at least control those that you _are_ in charge of..."

Kylo shushed her, pulling her up his body so that he could place his lips against hers. "Okay." It was all he said, but it was enough. Rey sighed with relief, glad for his promise, but also incredibly relieved and surprised that this conversation hadn't blown up in either of their faces.

"May I?" Hux's voice entered the silence that had settled between them.

Rey and Kylo turned towards him. He'd pulled his hand from Rey's hair but he was reaching towards her, his wishes clear in the way he was holding himself and the expectant expression on his face. Kylo helped move Rey into his arms until he was holding her braced on top of him as he lay on his back, much like Kylo had just been holding her. They rested quietly against each other, though Kylo had sat up, cross-legged, and was running his hands up and down her and Hux's bodies. He looked slightly abashed when they looked at him, though he didn't stop.

He just wanted to touch them. Rey could understand that.

The movement of his and Hux's hands were soothing on her body, and Rey found herself relaxing against the hard planes of Hux's body, her skin heating up in the cool air of the room as she became flushed with arousal. She almost felt like―

Hux interrupted her train of thought with quiet words. "Are you sure you want to be here, with us, with the Order and the Knights?" Rey stiffened, and Kylo's hands stilled on hers and Hux's bodies. "I know we have... _this_ between us now, but you can leave at any time, and I... _we_ , won't stop you."

Rey felt a chill flush through her body, chasing away the arousal of seconds before. Did they... did they not _want_ her here? Were they trying to give her a way out, for them all to save face? Was... was this so bad, what was between them? Had she crossed a line―

"Rey. Rey, stop." Kylo's voice broke through her frantic thoughts and her wide eyes moved to meet his own wide and fearful eyes. Hux's grip had tightened on her body as well. "Rey, no. Of course we want you here. Hux was..." He shot a look at the General and then returned his gaze back to Rey. "Hux was not quite thinking of how his words would affect you, and he can't feel you in the Force the way that I can right now. He did not intend to imply that we no longer want you here. He only wants you to be _happy_. He wants you to have _choice_. As do I."

Rey's breathing calmed, her heartbeat slowing from the racing beat it had acquired. "I... I'm sorry. I thought..."

"Shh, we understand," Hux soothed, a hand reaching up to tangle in her hair and draw her in for a kiss. "The point I was trying to make still stands. We... we will respect your choice if you do not wish to be here."

Rey closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his for another moment as she gathered her thoughts once more. "No... no, I want to be here," she said slowly, making sure they knew she was thinking this over. They deserved that much. "Even if there are some things I don't like... there is plenty of potential for good here. I have learned so much about myself, about my family, about skills that I never thought I could have or even master... I have..."

She blushed. "I've found _love_... and the Order has..." She glanced around nervously. "Without _him_ ―after _he_ is gone―we... you... can do so much to bring order to the chaos of the galaxy. To make life _fair_... the Republic is not the way to go. No... I _believe_ in this. I'm not going anywhere."

Hux kissed her once again before letting his head fall back onto the pillows, Rey's head resting on his chest and listening to his heartbeat with her arms resting loosely over his shoulders. Kylo's hands drifted lower on her body, alternating between pressing firmly and ghosting over her flesh, raising goosebumps all over and making her shiver with desire. The ache inside of her was being quickly replaced with warmth.

Kylo shocked her by suddenly leaning forward and pressing his lips to the roundness of her ass, mouthing the skin in an open-mouthed kiss. She gasped and rocked her hips forward against Hux's, who growled in response, his length growing hard against her hip. One of Kylo's hands drifted up the inside of her thigh, gathering wetness on his fingers and dragging them up the crease of her ass―

"Kylo," she whimpered. "No, I must be dirty." She flushed, completely embarrassed that he would want to touch her there, right at that moment. She understood _why_... oh _Force_ , she understood why after watching him being taken by Hux in the same place last night... but...

"Let's get you cleaned up then," Kylo practically growled as he jumped off of the bed, over her and Hux, and scooped her up and into his arms. Hux helped pass her along without needing to be asked, and Rey marveled again at the example of how well _her men_ worked together. She looked down at Hux from Kylo's arms, admiring the view of his beautifully lean body laid out before her, his cock lying hard against his stomach, slightly curved at the tip and dripping. Rey's eyes widened, but her view was interrupted by Hux starting to get up and Kylo turning her around.

His flesh was hot against hers, his arms wrapped firmly beneath her knees and behind her back, and his hair wild and tangled around his face, but the first full glimpse she had of her room was what really took her breath away―in an entirely different way.

"Oh, Kylo..." she shook her head, her voice tinged with exasperated humor and disbelief. "I'm going to need a new room, aren't I?" she asked.

Kylo froze and Hux walked around them and towards the 'fresher, calling over his shoulder, "Looks like. We did a work-around on it this morning to get the lights, water, and door controls back on, but the whole place is going to need an overhaul, especially with the damage to the walls. You'll need most of a new wardrobe, too, I'm afraid."

He paused and turned around, though Rey only noticed this barely as she was arching her brow at Kylo, who had the good sense to look at least a _tad_ abashed at the result of his behavior. "You know..." He walked towards them again, padding barefoot through some small debris on the floor. He placed a hand on each of their arms.

"I know we have to get Rey a new room for appearance's sake, but... you both can stay in my rooms at night―or Kylo's. Or we can switch it. We... Now that this is _real_ , there's no reason to spend our nights apart, is there? This _is_ real, right?" His voice had gone from the confident tone they knew from the bridge and elsewhere in the public eye, to hesitant, unsure of the reaction he would get to his suggestion.

Rey opened her arms and Hux fell into the fold of her embrace, burying his head into her neck and against the planes of Kylo's chest. "I would love that," Rey said happily as she ran her hand through Hux's mussed up hair. It was soft, longer than she always expected it to be.

Hux finally pulled out of her arms and walked towards the 'fresher, a few paces ahead of her. He turned around one last time, right in the doorway. "Kylo..." he began, his voice serious, but his eyes tender. "Can you promise me... us... one thing more?"

Kylo stiffened but kept walking until he was standing right in front of Hux, Rey still in his arms. "You know that depends," he said, just as stiffly as he was holding himself. Rey looked between him and Hux, and she had a feeling she knew what Hux was about to ask―something they had discussed in great length since Savat had explained where Kylo had gone.

Hux nodded in acknowledgement of his words, then reached a hand over to cup Kylo's cheek. "Can you please not leave without telling us you're going somewhere? Even... even if it's just a short message; even if you're mad at us. We just want to _know_." He said no more, letting Kylo mull it over in his mind.

"I can do that," Kylo said shortly, though a lot softer than Rey―and, seemingly, Hux―had expected. He didn't say anything else, and neither did Hux or Rey, and he pushed past Hux and into the 'fresher, depositing Rey on her feet beside the shower stall.

She blinked up at him and then realized something embarrassing. She flushed and then stuttered, "Can I use the 'fresher, please? I... I'll let you know when I'm done by turning the shower on, okay?"

Kylo just stared at her for a moment, then another, before Hux reached into the 'fresher and dragged him out of the room, shutting the door behind them. She caught a flash from Kylo's mind of Hux pulling Kylo in for a rough, wet kiss, before she smiled to herself and sat down on the toilet.

After she was done, however, she simply sat and stared at the wall for a minute, taking the time to compose herself. She wasn't confused―not really―but so much had _happened_ in the span of a night that she just needed a breather.

She had had _sex_ for the first time. It hadn't felt uncomfortable―though maybe slightly painful for a little―or wrong... in fact, it had felt immensely _right_. It had been the right time, the right feel, the right people... though she'd never imagined herself loving and lying with two men, she couldn't picture it any other way now.

And they were going to do it again.

And again and again and again, if she had any say in it.

She was sure the men wouldn't have a problem with that, either. She smiled to herself, feeling more relaxed and comfortable, especially with her bladder not feeling full to bursting anymore.

Now that she'd had a taste, she wanted more. She'd never felt so _loved_ and appreciated and cared for... never felt so much pleasure in her life, having Kylo moving inside of her, and watching Hux move within Kylo... even though everything last night had been for Kylo, Rey had felt tended to, paid attention to, adored... It had been amazing.

She stood up and turned on the shower to a mid-range temperature, activating the second shower head that came out of the opposite wall. She looked at the amount of space in the shower, feeling like there would be just enough for three to fairly comfortably fit, as she pulled her fingers through the tangle of her brown hair. It had gotten much longer in the months she'd been here, now reaching just past her shoulder blades. She had considered cutting it, but she wore it up almost always anyway... plus, she'd seen the way Hux and Kylo had stared at her the few times she'd had her hair down around them... No―no, she wouldn't cut it.

She heard the 'fresher door opening but stood still, not turning around. She let one of the men―Hux, she noticed upon spotting the freckles on his forearms―wrap his arms around her middle and pull her tight against his body, his cock hard against her ass.

"Were you two having fun?" she teased. She knew they had been―she'd seen it all as if it had been her kissing Hux. But she had _zero_ desire to ask Kylo to block his mind. The fact that he was so open with her, with them, willing to put the security of his mind in her hands... she would treasure it, and embrace it. She would _never_ ask him to close himself off from her.

"Of course," Kylo said, arousal evident in the huskiness of his voice as he leaned down and pressed a kiss against Rey's cheek before sliding past her and Hux and into the shower. He extended his hands towards Rey and she placed her hand in one of them, allowing him to draw her under the spray, Hux following close behind.

They each helped the others to wash their bodies, knowing full-well that they could all easily wash themselves, but taking comfort and pleasure in allowing others to help. There was no pride lost when it was your lover―or _lovers_ ―assisting you in the shower, caring for you tenderly as they washed your skin and hair. Not when all of you trusted each other so explicitly. Rey felt comfort and contentment exuding off of Kylo and, to a lesser extent, Hux. She tried to push her own feelings of warmth and happiness at Kylo and Hux, and they both turned to smile at her at the exact moment she did―she supposed it worked, even with Hux, and even if he looked slightly surprised by the occurrence before his face transformed quickly into one that matched how she―and Kylo―felt.

Only when Rey felt comfortably clean, her hair trailing silkily down her back and over her shoulders from the conditioner Kylo had rubbed patiently through it, did she push Hux against the wall, her hands on his arms for support as she pushed herself onto the tips of her toes to kiss him deeply, passionately, in a way she hadn't before last night. She'd felt Kylo within her last night... now she was determined to feel Hux inside of her body. It felt like a compulsion, this desire, taking over her body and mind... or perhaps it was normal―she'd never experienced any of this before, and had no idea what was or wasn't to be expected.

Heat rushed through her veins as her kiss intensified with Hux, his body pressing up against hers even as she pushed against him. His hands moved to grip her rib cage, just below her breasts, his thumbs sweeping up against the undersides of the globes and stealing what remaining breath she had. She drew back a moment, letting herself fall back on her feet, her hands ghosting up over his biceps and around his neck, into his wet hair. His hands drifted upwards and started to caress her breasts, making her gasp as his fingers circled her nipples deftly.

The next moment, Kylo's body pressed against hers from behind, blocking most of the water's spray from reaching her. The press of his body was hotter than the water―he always seemed to run hotter than anyone else―and soon she was trapped firmly between him and Hux, whimpering as his fingers dipped between her and Hux and rubbed circles against her clit before slowly driving a single finger inside of her.

She was a quivering mess. She felt unable to control herself or the sounds that escaped her mouth, her body only held up by Hux's hands on her breasts, his mouth nibbling at her neck, and Kylo pushing her lower body against the other man. Rey's head fell back against Kylo's shoulder, her eyes wide as her fingers clenched and unclenched with pleasure she was still _so_ unused to feeling course through her...

Kylo was sheltering her from the spray of the shower, allowing nothing to distract her from the feel of the two men to either side of her. She was wet, unbelievably aroused and dripping onto Kylo's hand. She felt it smear across Hux's thigh that was pressed against her, and he growled low in his throat the sensation, grinding against her and pushing Kylo's finger deeper into her with the motion. Rey's eyes fluttered shut as her inner muscles clenched around his digit.

She opened her eyes as he removed his hand from her, just in time to catch the playful look on Hux's face as he and Kylo shared a glance. She gasped as they both lifted her up between them, Hux pushing off from the wall of the shower and guiding her legs around his waist. They ended up with Kylo's back against the other wall, Rey's back braced against his chest and his arms wrapped around her body as they both guided Rey down and down... until she was sliding slowly onto Hux's cock. She was wet and took him fairly smoothly, but her inner walls and muscles felt sore from their activities last night―from her body being stretched and filled in ways it _never_ had before. She felt every inch of him going in, feeling both pleasurable and abrasive, but she breathed deeply and focused on the pleasure she _knew_ would soon wash away all of the pain.

Rey tilted her head forward again and braced her forehead against Hux's, holding his eyes as he pushed her down onto him. Kylo's large hands covered her breasts as he held her steady, his mouth at her ear, nibbling up and down the outer shell and making her shiver from all of the different sensations coursing through her body.

"Taj..." she breathed his name as he bottomed out within her, holding her hips gently but steadily between his hands. He felt different from Kylo, from what she could remember of the frenzy of last night―just as good, but filling her in completely different ways; touching completely different parts of the inside of her body. The position could have something to do with it... For that matter, Rey had never even imagined a position like this existed.

"Rey, you feel so good," he groaned against her mouth just before he slanted his lips across hers in a deep kiss, his tongue sweeping against hers. "I've been dreaming about this for weeks now, you have no idea," he admitted as he pulled back.

"I think I have... _oh!_ " She gasped as Hux began to move her up his shaft, her walls gliding over him, pleasure completely chasing away the last bit of her ache―for the moment, at least, she knew. Her head fell back again and Kylo took advantage of the opening, gripping her jaw with one hand and angling it so that he could kiss her as deeply as he could in that position. Rey moaned into his mouth as Hux's thrusts increased and her walls started to clench against him.

"Hux, let me try something," Kylo said as he trailed his fingers over the redhead's jaw line and into his hair, where he gripped the strands and pulled his head back, his throat taut and on display for Rey and Kylo. "You gave me the idea last night..."

Rey admired the view, licking her lips even as Hux's hips stilled―except for a slight grind he did every once in a while.

Kylo released Hux's hair and then dipped his fingers between her and Hux's bodies once again, his fingers swirling through the wetness on her thighs and labia, and around Hux's cock, making the other man groan and thrust instinctively against the sensation before pulling himself back under his iron self-control. The look on his face remained filled with pleasure, however, and anticipation of what was about to happen next, even as he wished to start moving.

Rey, herself, wanted to _move_ , but―but the words Kylo had spoken, and the _way_ he had voiced them... she was quivering as she eagerly awaited where Kylo's fingers would land next.

"Hold her," Kylo ordered, and Hux's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, a fresh flash of arousal crossing his features as he obeyed, holding Rey more firmly by the hips on top of him, her legs wrapped around his waist.

Kylo pushed them both slightly away from his body, leaving just enough room for him to trail the fingers of his other hand up the crack of her ass. "May I?" he whispered against Rey's ear.

It was all she could do to nod.

He stilled against her and Rey squirmed on top of Hux. "I need to hear you say it, Rey. It's just my fingers today, I promise. But I want to feel you around even just them today." He nipped her ear lobe and then nuzzled against her cheek, and Hux's expression darkened as he caught and held Rey's gaze. His cock hardened even further within her and she groaned at the sensation, wishing he would _move_.

"Ye―yessss!" she finally answered aloud, and Kylo rewarded her by spreading her cheeks with the one hand and touching his slickened finger―he must have kept it out of the spray, she thought absently―to the ring of muscles he revealed. Rey held Hux's gaze and leaned into the hand that he brought up to cup her face with as Kylo spread her wetness around the hole. Her eyes widened again, even further than before, as he pressed a finger slowly into her, then out again, the burn painful but oddly pleasurable at the same time, especially with her senses so heightened by their foreplay and Hux's cock buried deep inside of her.

Withdrawing the assisting hand, Kylo pushed on her back slightly until she had draped her arms around Hux's neck and shoulders, and he was supporting most of her weight with his hands under the backs of her thighs. By the time Kylo had worked one finger into her, Rey was whimpering―in pleasure, but also in some pain. Rey knew Kylo could sense it. He ordered Hux to start moving again, and soon the pleasure was completely outpacing the pain.

Kylo groaned nearly as much as Rey and Hux did, working his finger in and out of Rey's ass. Rey could sense satisfaction and pleasure and _adoration_ rolling off of her lover in waves, and she fell deep into the flow of what he was projecting and the sensations flooding her own body.

Hux's thrusts had become long and deep, his strength a sexual thing in and of itself that Rey admired even as she was consumed and pulled under by everything he was doing to her―everything _they_ were doing to her. She was filled in both ends but she wished for more; to one day be able to take them both at once.

That thought made her flush, feeling more wanton than she'd ever thought before, and Kylo leaned over the curve of her back against Hux and bit firmly into the nape of her neck. She groaned at the feeling of, and the _concept_ of, being marked as _his_ , and then Hux angled slightly and hit that _amazing_ spot within her and she cried out, her pleasure skyrocketing. Kylo's words furthered the feeling building within her.

"One day soon, love."

He'd seen her thoughts. Oh _Force_... but he wanted it, as well.

Hux thrust against that spot she loved over and over again, his breaths quickening as he strained to get the angle just _so_. The water was being blocked mainly by his body, though occasionally the spray drifted between their bodies. Rey soon saw why they had been keeping her out of the water as slowly the liquid was removing some of the lubrication between their bodies―but not enough to hinder them right then.

Rey lifted her arms from where they were draped over Hux's neck and threaded them into his hair on both sides of his head, her grip firm but not too tight. She angled his head so that she could whisper in his ear, though not before she gasped as Kylo brought his other hand between their bodies and touched her clit, sending sharp waves of pleasure through her, down to her toes where they were wrapped around Hux's waist, locked tight behind his back. Her legs felt weak, but surely she wouldn't need to hold on much longer... _right_?

She was finally able to whisper into Hux's ear―to whisper a question she desperately wished to hear the answer to. "Do you want... to one day do..." She flushed before finding the courage to continue, barely able to concentrate as he thrust within her and Kylo touched her sensitive bundle of nerves. "To one day," she continued, "Be in me at the... same time as Kylo?"

Hux gasped and his hips stuttered before he was able to regain control―but only barely. Within the next dozen or so thrusts, Hux's eyes had clenched tightly shut and she felt him thrust further than he had before, emptying himself deep within her. The sensation of him coming inside of her and the sudden, insistent rubbing and rolling of her clit under Kylo's attentions had her falling right off the precipice she'd been on. Her orgasm swept over her, her muscles clenching―both around Hux's still-hard cock, and the finger that Kylo was still hooking within her ass.

Her legs lost their ability to hold her up and she was slowly lowered to the ground by a blinking, replete Hux, Kylo's finger slipping from her as well. Her legs were quaking and she and Hux held each other up until they could lean against the shower wall.

"So... you didn't answer me," Rey was finally able to get out as she drew in deep breaths, reveling in the feel of the shower water on her, still warm―but thankfully not too warm.

Kylo, eyes closed and now braced against the wall with one hand, the other wrapped around his cock and pumping it quickly, answered Rey's query before Hux could form his words. "You don't think his coming so quickly and vigorously was answer enough?"

As if to agree with Kylo's words, Hux leaned over and brushed a kiss over Rey's cheek, then leaned back against the wall once more, his own eyes closing.

He wanted to do... _that_?

Rey felt a fresh flush of desire and anticipation spread over her body.

Looking at Kylo, Rey turned her body around to press against his side, her left hand curling against the base of his shaft and squeezing. "Here, let me help you with that."

Kylo groaned, and she saw in his mind _exactly_ what he'd like her to help him with.

* * *

Hours later, long into the hours of the evening, Hux opened his quarters' door to the sight of the two Force-sensitives standing in the hallway, looking at him with heat in the one's eyes, and a tilt to the other's mask that Hux was beginning to recognize very well.

They had had a long afternoon of meetings and mission preparation for the Jakku mission that would start mid-morning tomorrow, both seeing to their respective branches stationed on the ship―or in Hux's case, the four ships, including the _Finalizer_ ―and issuing last-minute orders.

The mission had been pushed back due to Kylo's absence and, even if the Resistance had someone slipped out from beneath their watch, there would still be plenty to recover and do.

Jakku was exactly the sort of planet that the First Order needed to... _assist_.

It was time for the slavery and oppression to come to a halt.

Hux smiled softly at the man and woman in the hallway, gesturing for them to enter. As they passed through the doorway, they went from Master and Apprentice to a man and woman who just happened to be in love.

Hux's smile increased as the two turned towards him, pulling him into the circle of their arms.

In their quarters they could be themselves―they didn't need to be anything more.


	28. Freedom

In the end, finding the cache wasn't as hard as Rey had imagined it would be.

She crouched at the top of a large sand dune and stared down into the valley that had been created by the dune she was on, and the other nearby dunes. At the base of the valley there was a rough camp set up that surrounded a protrusion of bedrock. It looked as if the bedrock had been drilled into until there was a hole large enough to enter. And that was exactly what had happened—beneath the bedrock was the cache, now empty.

The camp looked like it had been hastily evacuated, tents and tables knocked over. It likely had been, the moment the _Finalizer_ , _Indomitable, Redoubt,_ and _Bulwark_ had made their presence known in the atmosphere of the desert planet. Unfortunately for the Order, however, the Resistance had gotten away with every item that had been found within the cache. When Rey and her team members had trekked into the camp, anything of value was gone. The cache's shelves were empty of anything that could hint as to what had been there.

Kylo had growled in frustration, his form quivering so much that Rey had worried he'd lash out physically once again, but after a few moments he had calmed enough to send the squadron of Stormtroopers ahead of them to Niima Outpost, telling Savat that they would sweep the cache another time before joining the troops at the outpost. The contingent of officers accompanying the Stormtroopers contained diplomatic and bureaucratic experts, as did every other group of ships that had landed concurrently at all of the other major outposts and towns on Jakku.

It was time to bring Jakku to heel. It was time to bring them under the guidance of the First Order in an effort to protect the people who had lived in near-slavery for decade after decade. Rey had no room for anything but satisfaction and pleasure that no starving child would have to go through life on Jakku as she had ever again.

Rey stood up and turned around, facing her four companions. The gathering dusk—it had been morning on the _Finalizer_ when they'd left only an hour ago—was making it hard for her to make them out as clearly as before, standing in the shadow of their shuttle as they were, but she could still see that Kylo and Savat were deep in conversation. The human and half-human, half-Theelin brothers, Zyk and Feruh, both also Knights, were silently staring out at the mass of sand surrounding them.

Striding back towards them, her feet sliding in a manner that helped her keep her balance, Rey adjusted her cowl and wrap until her face was sufficiently covered once again. The nights on Jakku were cold, as she'd told Captain Phasma weeks ago, and she was glad for the thick blood-red and black wool clothing that she wore.

"Ready?" Kylo asked her, his voice even through the manipulation of the vocoder.

She nodded at him, and then he gestured for her and Savat to precede him onto the shuttle. Zyk and Feruh followed behind him, closing the ramp after they were onboard. Feruh Ren pressed the comm button beside the ramp, issuing quick orders to the pilots that they were ready to proceed to Niima and reunite with the rest of their group. Rey's eyes tracked the man as he made his way to his jump seat, her mind cataloguing the spots marking the purple-tinted skin of his face, and the three small horns to either side of his forehead.

She'd never actually seen a Theelin, even a half-human Theelin hybrid like Feruh, on account of them being well on their way to extinction—an extinction no one could stop—and she could not quite contain her curiosity.

She looked towards Feruh's human half-brother Zyk and realized that he had caught her staring. Her eyes darted away from the both of them, though not before she realized that the dark brown hair peeking out from under Zyk's cowl was the same shade as Feruh's.

Kylo grunted, calling Rey's attention back to him, and she was glad for the wrap covering the blush staining her cheeks. Kylo kept his mask on, but tilted it towards her in a manner that allowed Rey to know that he was looking right at her.

Her thoughts drifted to the memory of waking up in his arms that morning, the General having been long-gone from his bed to take care of preparations for the takeover of Jakku. They had been too exhausted to do anything but sleep in each other's arms, but it was more than Rey had ever imagined for herself.

Kylo lifted his hand and let it hover above Rey's thigh, just shy of touching her. She could still feel the heat of his body radiating against her, even through his gloves and her thick leggings, and she closed her eyes to briefly revel in the sensation.

"I am curious as to what was contained within that cache," Kylo finally spoke, dropping his hand back into his lap.

"Maybe if you hadn't left two weeks ago, we would know," Rey muttered, still slightly aggravated at Kylo's inability to deal with his emotions and with conflict which had led him to flee rather than confront their issues together.

Kylo and Savat—who was near enough to hear—turned their intense gazes on her and she shrunk into her seat, eyes widening. Oh... she shouldn't have said that—not after having regained his trust. She didn't want to hurt him, and yet it had just slipped out so _easily_. "I'm sorry," she rushed to say. "That was inappropriate to say."

Kylo simply kept staring at her. His gaze—even though she couldn't see it—felt like it was burning straight into her, and Rey found herself shifting uncomfortably in her seat. Finally he spoke, quiet enough for her, and maybe Savat, to hear. "Perhaps you are right."

He turned to face away before he could catch the gaping look that Rey was shooting him. Rey noticed Savat roll her eyes in her peripheral vision, but she was too focused on Kylo to share a glance with her new teacher and, sometimes, friend.

Kylo hadn't brought up the topic of why he'd left, and there was no way that he could know Savat had told them. The second had told Rey that she would keep that secret, if only for the fact that Kylo needed to be the one to bring up the topic all by himself—it would be healthy, cathartic even, for him. Rey and Hux had agreed, but it was becoming increasingly hard to hold their tongues, even with Kylo having only been back for a day and a half.

She needed to be patient with him; he was a volatile man and needed to do things, such as opening up about his _past_ , on his own terms.

Savat stood up, braving the shakiness of Kylo's shuttle until she stood beside the comm by the ramp. Rey watched her the entire time before the other woman made her way back to Kylo and Rey after a few minutes.

"I spoke with Major Davidson and reported in on the status of the cache and the absence of the Resistance. Our orders are to continue with the remainder of the plan as agreed upon, and then to report in once the targeted location is secure. All stuff we knew, of course, but hey... it doesn't hurt to get a refresher," she added teasingly.

Before Kylo could reply, the shuttle slowed and began its descent. They'd only been in the air perhaps seven or eight minutes, but Rey was itching to get out already.

She'd never thought that she would want to feel the shift of sand beneath her feet ever again. Yet here she was, eager to feel just that.

Rey was back on Jakku, and she couldn't help but realize how much her life had changed since she'd last been here. She had a family to call her own, and two men who loved her, with a salary and clothes and a comfortable place to live that was _safe_... whereas before she had had to fight for every last scavenge, every last scrap, every last drop off water, and she had had no family or friends or anyone who loved her.

She'd been lost, yet a slave, shackled to this planet. To return now... now that she was free and knew what the rest of the galaxy was like, what it had to offer... she wouldn't have been able to handle it if she hadn't been taught how to compartmentalize.

Rey would deal with her thoughts and feelings later, though she was certainly aware of the anger simmering beneath the surface.

Bringing Jakku out of slavery would go a long way to healing the wounds it had left on her.

Once they landed, the five of them stood at the top of the ramp as it lowered to the ground, hands on their lightsabers in the event that they would need to activate them immediately if fired upon.

Right before the ramp touched the ground, no sounds of battle reaching their ears, Kylo spoke to Savat. "I really wish that you would stop encouraging my apprentice to dress in colors. It's so much less practical."

Rey only barely repressed a snort, glad that her wrap was covering the grin spreading across her face. Savat was indeed wearing more color than the other Knights; a rich medium-blue tunic and armguards paired with a black vest and leggings. Rey had admired the clothes that Savat wore to training and had let that admiration affect her decisions when purchasing new attire.

The two brothers shot looks over their shoulders at the other three behind them, though Rey could only tell they were laughing by the crinkling around their eyes above their half-masks.

Savat raised an eyebrow, keeping her expression otherwise calm as she looked at Kylo. "Hm. But she looks much better this way, don't you think?" She leaned in until only Kylo and Rey could hear, their bodies instinctively leaning towards her as well. "I'm pretty sure you like it. Don't lie."

Kylo pulled away from her abruptly, and Savat straightened, laughing outright. The ramp had fully lowered by this time, and yet no one made a move to disembark. They were all waiting for the cue of their Master.

"Savat..." he growled.

"Oh come off it," she replied lightly, though not disrespectfully. "We all felt your reunion the other night, so there's no need to deny it."

Kylo froze and Rey's eyes widened, a blush of embarrassment starting to stain her skin.

They were all waiting to see if he would say or do anything—preferably not destructive.

Kylo finally let out what sounded like a long-suffering sigh, even through his vocoder, and then stomped down the ramp. The rest of them followed.

Rey was amazed. For one thing, the Knights had _felt_ them having... having _sex_ the other night? Surely it must only have been the stronger Force-sensitives who were familiar with Kylo's signature. And for another... Kylo hadn't gotten angry. He had been surprised, at the very least, yet he hadn't told Savat off or warned the others from repeating anything.

The answer suddenly hit her, making her smile as she understood: the Knights of Ren might gossip amongst themselves, but nothing left their group. There was no need to hide what they were doing where the Knights were concerned, although Rey was sure that she and her two men would continue to want as much privacy as possible.

"Come on Rey, let's get moving!" Savat called out, intruding on Rey's thoughts. She looked up, startled to realize that the other four were already off of the ship and that she was lagging behind.

Rey trotted down the ramp, her hand resting on the hilt of her saber, and her eyes looking every which way. It was nearly full dark but the lights of the buildings and the very occasional street lamp of Niima Outpost provided enough light to see by. Stormtroopers were everywhere, conducting quick but surprisingly painless, efficient, sweeps of homes and businesses, the majority of the residents of Niima complying easily with their demands.

They broke into pairs, with Rey counted as the third to Kylo and Savat. The brothers turned left and the three of them turned right, opening their minds to those whom they walked past. This being the nearest village to the cache, Kylo had felt it prudent to do a sweep with the Force to make sure that there were no Resistance operatives or sympathizers. This was why there were five—four, really, Rey reminded herself—Knights at Niima Outpost. The twenty-three other locations that the First Order was landing in only had a Knight and an advanced trainee to accompany the ground forces, as a result of not being near the cache. They were only there in case they were needed, though Rey wouldn't put it past Kylo to have placed them there so that he would have unaltered accounts of anything that occurred.

It wasn't that he didn't trust Hux—he did, fully, Rey was sure—but it was more that Kylo didn't trust the bureaucratic officers of the First Order not to redact the reports sent his way.

They were silent as they strode through the outpost, all three sweeping the minds around them for any possible hint of _something_ that might lead them to the Resistance. Rey wasn't as well-versed in the technique, and this was why Savat was accompanying Kylo as well as Rey. Yet she could practice, at least—it never hurt.

Darkness had fully descended, no moon in the sky, and yet Rey could clearly see the form of Unkar Plutt ahead, gesturing angrily in the light of the entrance to his home. She stumbled slightly, though she kept herself walking, her body fighting the instinct to run over to him and ram her saber into his fleshy gut—or, at the very least, to beat him with her extendable staff until she felt _better_. Until she felt more at peace with every wrong look, cruel word, and increasingly smaller portions that he had given her. She wanted to make him pay, to make him feel the suffering and starvation that he had subjected her to. She knew full-well that he had been paying her far less than what he had been paying his lackeys. She wanted him to feel every last—

"Kylo," hissed Savat. "Keep walking, but the tent on the end... what do you think?"

Temporarily ignoring Plutt, Rey wrapped her anger into a tight ball and used it as fuel to power her mental push; to concentrate more fully. She focused in on the residents around and in the tent and, along with Kylo, pulled back with confirmation of Savat's suggestion.

"Three of them," Kylo spoke, and Rey nodded along with him in agreement. She'd also caught the faintest brush of words and feelings that had made it highly unlikely they were anyone but Resistance operatives. As they walked closer, they could see two men and a woman standing outside of the tent in question, speaking with two Stormtroopers and an officer.

Zeroing in on his targets like a predator on prey, Kylo pulled his hilt from his belt and held it ready in the palm of his hand. It was only then that Rey noticed the second lightsaber gracing his belt, but there was no time for her to mention it as she and Savat followed after Kylo's stalking form, their own deactivated sabers in their grips.

Kylo flashed her an image indicating she should take the back of the tent. _'Stand guard in case they attempt to flee_ ,' he spoke into her mind before pulling from her. She started to make her way to the back of the tent by cutting between tents a little further away from their target—there was no need to tip off the individuals that there was someone who was going to be blocking their secondary exit. The last she saw of Kylo and Savat, they were striding forward, side by side, faces covered and sabers hissing as they thumbed the weapons to life. The orange and red glows dissipated into the night.

Rey took up position behind the tent, and trained her eyes and senses on her surroundings, constantly shifting her gaze so that she was aware of everything going on around her. She opened herself more fully to the Force, allowing it to flow around and through her, making it so that she was aware of every nuance of every life form in the immediate vicinity. Her reach was not very great yet, but...

Always surprised by the intensity of Kylo's signature in the Force, it took Rey a moment to parse him out from Savat's slightly less intense flame, and then the both of them from the non-Force-sensitives.

It was just in time for her to realize that there was a life form barreling towards her through the interior of the tent and right out the back. She had no chance to think, no chance to second guess herself—she could only react.

Unfortunately—or perhaps _fortunately_ —her first instinct was to stick her foot out and trip the woman charging through the back flap of the tent. Rey immediately followed her down with the dagger she plucked from the sheath on her belt, dropping the hilt of her saber so that she could grip the woman's hair with one hand, knee pushing into her back and down into the sand, and her dagger placed at the jugular of the woman's neck.

All in all, an easy takedown. The woman didn't even fight back, her form sagging in defeat after she'd been pushed down into the ground. But then Rey wasn't quite sure what to do with the woman.

Suddenly, the woman started to speak, and she wished fervently she'd brought a gag.

"So _you're_ the one. The girl that everyone's been talking about, who follows _Kylo Ren_ around like a lost child. The one who left us for the First Order after we rescued you from this shithole of a planet." Rey's eyes flashed— _she_ had gotten herself off this planet, along with Finn and BB-8... not the _Resistance_. "And now you're back here anyway! Is the Order going to leave you here, do you think?" The woman was speaking into the sand, and she couldn't see her face, but Rey could _hear_ the animosity coming from the woman—she could even _feel_ it, rolling off of her in waves.

She should hold her peace, not respond, not get involved in this debate... but it hurt so much to hear that she just _had_ to. She couldn't sit by and not defend herself—did they not understand why she had left? Did they not know what was _done_ to her?

Rey didn't move. She didn't take out her anger on the woman, she didn't press her more firmly into the ground, she didn't press the dagger into her flesh and delight in the swell of red that would have appeared... no, she did none of those things. In fact, she stilled herself while continuing to maintain firm control, and centered her mind until she could better relax and concentrate. She let the Force flow through her once more, only vaguely aware of the two pyres that were Savat and Kylo at the front of the tent—both, thankfully, still alive and well—and allowed it to soothe her until she had better control over her anger.

Only then did she speak. "I left by choice, yes, but for two reasons only. First, I needed to be taught how to use the Force when _Luke_ refused to teach me— _ah! no speaking_ —otherwise I ran the risk of going feral. But most importantly, I left because I no longer felt welcome. I don't need to explain myself to _you_ and you likely won't even believe me, but let this sit in your thoughts... Luke and Leia kidnapped me. When I was a child they took me from a First Order family, killed my brother when he tried to protect me, and left me on Jakku. This planet—do you have _any_ idea what it does to a person, let alone a _child_? And Leia... she had no remorse. She said she did what she did for the good of the cause. The cause that I was supposed to fight for. That... I couldn't do that, couldn't fight for them, or even be near them, after learning what had happened to me. A cause that would allow _that_ to happen..."

"And you think that the First Order is any better?" the woman interjected into the lull.

"They've not _lied_ to me. They are trying to achieve the same goals as the Resistance, did you know? Peace, order, justice... an end to slavery and suffering as best they can manage... But they are so much more effective. They have the power and ability, the resources and the support, to accomplish so much more. The Resistance... Leia Organa and others like her... they may believe in the cause, but what they believe in _more_ is the democracy of the former Republic, even of the New Republic. They believe in _idealism_ over practicality and security. They wish to reinstate their ideals even at the cost of fairness and the renewal of the basically-legal institution of slavery such as is found here on Jakku and elsewhere. All for the sake of the _vote_ —of the power that these individuals wish to yield over others to better _themselves_... it's _disgusting_ , it's—"

"Rey."

One word. Her name, spoken in the lilting, oddly soothing tones of a vocoder she knew too well—Kylo Ren.

Rey looked up, her hands remaining steady on the woman she held prisoner. Her breaths were even and she was calm—maybe even _too_ calm for what her words were indicating of how she felt. The Force swirled around her, comforting her—perhaps that was what was keeping her calm.

Kylo and Savat stood to the side of the tent, having rounded the corner and apparently come to a halt at the sight of her. She wasn't sure how much they'd heard, but she didn't care. She believed what she had said, even if she hadn't voiced it before—not quite like this—and there was nothing wrong with any of her words; with any of her beliefs.

Kylo made a motion behind him and a Stormtrooper stepped forward with restraints. Only then did Rey release her captive. She stood up, dusting herself off as she did so, and re-sheathed and re-hooked her weapons onto her belt as she watched the woman being taken away.

"Where will they take her?" she asked calmly once she had stepped towards the two Knights.

Kylo regarded her for a moment, and Savat tilted her head towards him, waiting for him to reply even though Rey was sure she knew what would occur.

"They will be taken to the interrogation rooms and interrogated by Hux's officers, unless they require... further questioning."

"The Force?" Rey asked quietly.

"Yes," he replied curtly. "But only the Force, if that is required." He looked around, making sure there were no Stormtroopers capable of listening in. "My promise to you will not be broken, if that is the case, Rey."

She was silent a moment before she replied, "Alright, thank you," and only then did Kylo nod at her and turn to make his way back towards the main avenue of the outpost.

"Master?" Rey asked, suddenly hesitant.

He halted, and slowly turned around. "Yes?"

Savat looked curiously between the two.

"May we... my... well, what I _used_ to call home is not too far from here by shuttle. Could we... I would like to collect an item, please." Rey closed her eyes and reveled briefly in the thought that she now had a place she could call _home_ with no regrets whatsoever, and that it didn't matter if they were in Hux's rooms, Kylo's rooms, or whatever new rooms she would be given shortly... home was where _they_ were.

She smiled at Kylo even before he could reply, but she said nothing. Instead, she brushed against his mind and let him feel her love for him. After a brief hesitation, as if he weren't quite used to being on the receiving end of this sort of sensation, he sent her his own feelings of love and adoration, and even a thought that was a little racier and that had her blushing.

Thankfully, it was dark, and her cheeks were still covered.

Savat spoke into the silence before Kylo could reply, though Rey was sure the older woman knew what she and Kylo were doing. "There's nothing more to be done here. Zyk and Feruh contacted us a few minutes ago and let us know that the rest of the village is clean of Resistance members. It was just these three. You two go do your thing; I'll hitch a ride back with the prisoners and the other two can find their own way back later after Niima is under control—I think the only hold-up here right now is that rather angry Crolute. In any case—see you!"

With a rather overdramatic flair, Savat twirled around and stalked off, away from the other two Force users.

Rey and Kylo stared at each other for a long moment—she was sure she was holding his gaze through the mask—before she darted forward and threw her arms around his waist, tucking herself against the front of his body and hugging him tightly. After a brief moment of being startled, Kylo slowly brought his arms around her upper body and held her against him. They were silent, Rey reveling in the simple comfort of being held by him. After yesterday and the night before... she never wanted to part from him.

Rey could tell he was getting antsy, however, and she sighed just before his vocoder sounded out the words, "What's this for?"

When would he realize that she _ached_ for him, that she wanted to hold him at all times? "I just wanted to." Rey pulled back from him before she reached the point where she would never want to let go, and his arms fell away from her reluctantly. She took comfort in that, at least. "Shall we?"

She could hear the dry amusement in his voice even through the vocoder when he replied, "I never said I agreed."

Rey tugged down her wrap so that she could grin up at him cheekily.

She was in a good mood. She had the love of her two men; she felt sure of herself, confident in a way she never had before; and...

Jakku was on its way to being saved.

* * *

Rey shuffled into her old AT-AT without a concern. It was remarkable how little she felt at the sight of the old Walker, though distantly she supposed that she could be feeling fairly numb. She didn't think that was it, however. It was more that there was nothing left for her here anymore—besides that _one_ , small item—and to hold onto Jakku, onto her old home, onto her anger and heartache... after earlier in Niima, Rey felt washed clean, whether from the events she'd partaken in, or the Force, or the words she'd spoken to the Resistance woman. Whatever it was, she felt like she could move fully forward in life, with no more ties to her past on Jakku.

She and Kylo had left the two pilots just outside with the shuttle, and had made their way inside on their own. Kylo had had to crouch, but so did Rey, so she hadn't quite had a leg to stand on when it came to laughing at him—she did anyway, even as she knelt by a panel, popped it open, and pocketed something from within its hidden depths.

He glowered at her still-laughing form as he removed his helmet with a click and a hiss, propping it on a shelf just beside the entryway. "What are you here for any—" He quit speaking abruptly, and Rey followed his gaze with sudden concern.

"Oh. That," Rey spoke awkwardly into the silence.

"What _is_ it?" he asked incredulously. His eyes were trained on the wall on the other side of the single room in the AT-AT that Rey had lived in—the wall with the scratch marks in it.

Rey sighed and moved towards the wall, sitting at the foot of it in the sand and trailing her fingers over the last mark in a _long_ row of them. It wasn't the only row, either. "It sort of sounds stupid, knowing what I know now..." she hedged before she even began to answer him. Kylo made his way towards her, bent over in the cramped space. He sat a foot or so away from her, his legs crossed, and his own hand lifting up to press his gloved fingers against the cool metal of the wall.

"I used to believe that there was someone who was going to come back for me. I remember the words being spoken to me so clearly, that I truly do believe that they weren't a figment of my imagination, even though I was only around five years old. Now I know..." Rey shut her eyes at the thought of the Skywalkers having abandoned her here. "I thought they were my parents," she whispered.

As she had her eyes firmly shut, Rey was startled when, all of a sudden, she was pulled over and into Kylo's lap, her side pressed against his chest and his arms wrapping tightly around her body. Even through the layers of their clothing, she could feel the heat of him nearly burning against her. It was comforting, soothing... warm. He didn't speak, either, allowing her to gather her thoughts and continue when she was ready, which she appreciated more than she could say in that moment. She simply curled herself up against him and breathed, in and out, in and out, until she felt ready to speak again.

"After my fourth full standard year here on Jakku, I came across this Walker. I'd been trying to keep track of how long I'd been here, but it wasn't that easy. Well, after a few days of living here, I decided to start marking the days; to keep track of how old I was, how long I'd been here... until really, it just became a ritual. Oddly enough, it offered comfort, even when it was a reminder that I'd been here so long with no one having returned for me. It became a symbol of how long I'd _survived_ here on Jakku; a symbol of my strength and my abilities..."

She trailed off, listening to the beat of Kylo's heart beneath her ear for a minute or two before saying, with finality, "But I don't need that symbol anymore. You—and Taj—have helped me discover more and more of my strength, and I don't need a visible reminder of it any longer. I just _know_."

They settled into a peaceful silence where Rey felt lighter, freer, than she had ever felt on Jakku. She reveled in the feeling, keeping her eyes closed as Kylo's hands smoothed absently over her back in comforting motions. Minutes passed, and Rey felt her body growing more tired, even though it had been barely half a day since she'd woken up. The darkness of the stripped AT-AT, broken only by the small light they'd brought with them, was disconcerting as her internal clock told her it was barely past noon.

Yet there was something about this moment...

"I went to the Academy. The old Jedi Academy, that is, when I was gone these past two weeks."

Rey stilled at the sound of Kylo's whisper, but she made no movement or noise to indicate she would interrupt—she and Hux had been waiting to see when... or even _if_... he would bring it up. They would have eventually, but this was much healthier for him, and for them, if they didn't have to draw it out of him against his will.

He tightened his hold on her slightly as he continued, his voice still kept low in the near-darkness of the room. It suited the atmosphere surrounding them. "I was going somewhere else but, before I could really get that far, it was indicated to me by the Force that I _needed_ to return to the planet. Needed to return _there_." He paused a moment to take a deep, shaky breath, and Rey kept as still as she could. "When I arrived, I found... I found my old saber."

Rey could hardly hear the last words as they were whispered so lowly. So _that_ was what she'd seen attached to his belt today. It was his old saber? It must... it must have been what he'd used during the killings.

She wondered, absently, what it looked like, even as she returned her attention to Kylo when he began to speak again.

"I touched it and I was pulled into a vision. It was... it showed me what had happened at the Academy that night. What I had... done..." He trailed off as his body started to quiver, and Rey was about to interrupt him when he continued. "I was stuck in the vision for five days. It was then that I realized how wrong I'd been for leaving you like that, for having fled when I should have stayed and forgiven you, but I also realized the Force would have called me anyway. It was simply _time_ for the dead to be laid to rest."

His voice grew angry as he kept going, increasing in volume. "Did you know no one had returned to provide the dead with a proper burial, a proper funereal rite? The planet was a void in the Force, or rather, a scar. It needed fixing, and the Force wanted me to do so. It didn't care that I had caused it; it needed _anyone_ to do it at that point. So I did it, and as soon as I was finished, I left. It took days to complete."

Rey's eyes opened and then widened at the realization that he had not been gone for two weeks of his own volition. Yes, he had left by his own choice, but he had been _kept_ away from them, albeit for a good cause, by something outside of his control.

He was quiet again, but Rey knew that he had more he wanted to say—more he _needed_ to say. She couldn't help but to brush her mind against his, however, intertwining herself with him as best she could. At first it seemed as if he would draw back, not let her in, but then he relaxed and relented, letting their consciences rest together.

After a few peaceful moments of shared comfort, she could feel himself bracing for what he was about to say next. "You're right. You were right when you said that I'd killed children." His voice was filled with sadness, regret, and even anger at himself, and Rey finally moved so that she could lift her hand to his cheek, stroking the slightly rugged texture beneath her fingers. She could feel him calm imperceptibly beneath her tough—it was better than nothing, at least.

"It was my fault they were there. That the Knights were there, that is. That they gained the location of the last Jedi. I... I believe what they believe, and I did then as well, but if I had been _stronger_ I could have realized I was being _used_ , even as I was trying to use and manipulate _them_. I was so caught up in wanting to accomplish what I felt was _right_ that I didn't even realize the wrongs I was committing until it was too late—until they were already here. That man... the First Knight at the time... he was so blinded by eradicating the Jedi that he never once stopped to consider that he could have taken and remolded the children from the Academy, or let them return to their families. As long as there were no Jedi to train them, that would not matter anymore.

"But he was too blinded by power and revenge and the lust for _murder_ , and I... I was too blinded by the need to leave, and my own need for revenge. I... I..." Kylo's voice broke and he buried his face in Rey's hair, pushing her cowl back with his chin. Rey clutched at him tighter, bringing her hand from his cheek to clutch at the hair at the nape of his neck, and turning in his lap just enough so that she could press most of her chest against his. She soothed him through the Force, letting him feel everything she was feeling, every comfort that she could give him. In return, he let her feel every last regret, every last feeling of betrayal and self-castigation, every last bit of anger and sadness and _pain_ that he felt at what had occurred.

They drifted in each other's thoughts, wrapped together for a number of minutes before Kylo pulled back, wrapping his gloved fingers around her chin and looking into her eyes. "You knew?" he whispered, his own eyes widening slightly.

"Not all of it," Rey replied just as quietly, angling her head so that she could nuzzle her cheek into his hand. "Not how _you_ felt. Not why you were gone so long. We—Taj and I... you'll tell him all this, right?" She waited for his nod before continuing fervently, though slightly more relaxed, "We were told by Savat. Don't be angry at her!" she interjected at the tightening of his eyes and the flash of irritation she felt from him. "She... she cares for you, a _lot_. She knew we cared for you also and as soon as... well... we _felt_ you, Kylo. I didn't know what it was at the time, but Savat did, as well as some of the other Knights, she said—the ones who are familiar with your Force signature. We felt you during what must have been part of the vision you spoke of. You were in such pain..." She blinked a few times, willing her tears not to fall.

Kylo angled his hand from off of her cheek so that he could brush his fingers beneath her eyes. As he drew his hand back, Rey noticed that the material of his gloves was shining with her tears—she hadn't been able to prevent them after all.

"It's okay," Kylo murmured as he lifted his hands to stroke her back and hair. "It's okay."

As if he was soothing _her_.

 _He_ was the one who needed it. She lifted her lips to his, meeting them in a soft caress as her hand wrapped even more firmly in his hair. It was a gentle kiss, all comfort and love, and they broke apart slowly, luxuriating in the feeling of contentment drifting around them.

Contentment Rey was quick to break as she bounded up into a crouch, grinning at Kylo. "I saw some of that metal-adhering accelerant in the shuttle—would you like to help me let go of Jakku completely?"

* * *

They were standing outside, on the other side of the AT-AT from the shuttle—or what was left of the Walker, at least. They had been watching it burn for the last half-hour, Kylo's arm wrapped around Rey's shoulders, and the structure was almost completely gone. The blaze had been fierce, but now the intensity and light was only about a quarter as much as it had been.

It was still enough for Rey to look up into Kylo's face and smile at the look of peace that had settled onto his features. She etched it into her memories, promising herself that she would no longer dwell on any memory of any day on Jakku except _this_ one. This day was the day she had helped bring freedom to her old prison... and the day that she had liberated _herself_ from its hold.

Kylo looked down and caught her gaze, smiling gently at her as he squeezed her shoulders. He stepped back from her and asked, "Well, shall we? I imagine Hux is getting rather anxious, even if he told us to leave him alone for the day so he could plot and plan." The last was said with a teasing tone, a smirk on his lips.

"Okay." Rey smiled back at him and pulled her hand out of her pocket so that she could walk back towards the shuttle while maintaining her balance.

As she did, the item she had pulled from behind the panel in the AT-AT fell out of her pocket. Rey bent to pick it up, but noticed Kylo staring inquisitively at what she held. It wouldn't hurt to show him, even if he thought it rather girlish or silly.

She held out her hand so that he could see the little metal barrette hair clip she held in her hands, a faded purple flower made with lacquered paint adorning the top of it. Rey flushed as she explained, "It's the only thing I have left from my childhood before... before _this_." She gestured loosely at the sand around them.

His expression had taken on a serious cast, a look of concentration crowding out anything else that might have previously been on his face.

Rey placed her hand on his arm and started walking them towards the shuttle, frowning as she reminded him to return his mask to his face—she knew that he would be upset if the pilots were to see his features, even if they were his personal pilots, who had worked with him many times previously.

Trying to lighten the sudden shift in mood, Rey explained her reasoning even further. "I wanted to come back for it, now that I know who my parents are. It's... it's something physical that I can hold onto; another tie to who they are and the life we used to have. And for once... for once I look at this hair clip and I'm _happy_."

Kylo shook himself out of his thoughts enough to tilt his head towards her and say, "I'm glad for that, Rey."

"So am I." She smiled up at him as they walked up the ramp and into the shuttle. "Now... let's go _home_."


	29. Preparedness

"I'm amazed you've never had an ulcer."

"For kriff's _sake_ , Kylo!" Hux barely repressed the surprise from his tone, though his words betrayed just how much the masked and cloaked man's sudden appearance had affected him. Trying to maintain some semblance of control—and dignity—in the situation, Hux glared at the taller man from his seat at his desk, and then returned his gaze back to the reports he had been in the middle of reading and correcting.

He could see Kylo moving towards him through the shadows of his office, the man's predatory grace nearly enough to distract him entirely from the tactical projections he'd had Davidson run earlier that evening.

There was too much to _do_ if they were ever to have any chance of facing Snoke without massive amounts of casualties. The man might not have the advantage in numbers, even if Hux planned for the worst case scenario―and he _always_ did―but the men and women he had at his disposal were some of the most vicious and most talented Force users Hux had ever encountered. The fact that they had been in the physical presence of Snoke for so long made them even more fearsome―being in his prolonged presence incurred loyalty and deference in all, it seemed.

Loyalty beyond sanity and self-preservation, from what he'd heard Kylo say on the matter. Those whom he sent on guard duty... he never called back again. Kylo could never trust them fully once they'd been with Snoke.

Speaking of the man—Kylo hovered over Hux's shoulder, barely-audible deep breaths coming from his mask's vocoder as he leaned ever closer to the redhead.

"What do you _want_ , Kylo?" Hux sighed exasperatedly as he finally closed the report he'd been pretending to read and pinched the bridge of his nose with the fingers of one hand.

He may as well give the younger man his attention―previous experience, even before they'd fallen into bed with each other, had taught him that the man wouldn't go away until he got what he wanted, or said what he had to say.

The click and hiss of the man's mask sounded behind him and, before he could protest what he knew was coming, the black and chrome mask had been dropped in front of him on his desk with a solid _thunk_ , narrowly avoiding costly equipment and data chips.

Hux made to turn around, expletives on the tip of his tongue, but he was stopped by a gloved hand coming to rest at the nape of his neck. The suddenness of the action had Hux freezing, wondering what exactly Kylo was up to. The hand drew away, but only for a moment. Leather creaked minutely and then both of Kylo's gloves landed before Hux, just to the right of his mask.

Hux's breath caught in his throat.

Trailing his fingers across Hux's cheek and back to his neck, Kylo caressed his lover's skin for a brief moment before settling the entire breadth of his hands upon the slope of Hux's shoulders. And yet, he did not move them. The heat radiating through Hux's uniform was enough to make him relax infinitesimally, however.

"Rey misses you," Kylo murmured after a moment of silence.

Hux clenched his eyes shut briefly before opening them again, breathing down his guilt, and replied, "And you do not?"

Kylo's fingers curled slightly into the fabric covering Hux's back. "You know I do." He relaxed his hands, smoothing his palms over the blade of Hux's shoulders before removing them. Kylo walked around to the front of the desk and took a seat in one of the hard-backed chairs. "You've been cooped up in here since we left Jakku, and that was over three days ago. Your meeting with the other Generals was yesterday morning—what could possibly be keeping you from joining us?"

Hux barely restrained a wince as Kylo propped his booted heels on his desk. He kept his tone level as he replied, leaning back in his own chair. "The Generals may have agreed that _he_ must be taken down, that he has now become a detriment to everything the First Order stands for, but that does not mean that we can relax our guard. It does not mean that we should cease preparations."

Kylo made a noise which Hux could only guess meant he agreed with him, but otherwise kept quiet. He had been at the meeting with Hux, along with Savat Ren, Major Davidson, Captain Phasma, Rey, and other officers. It had been the only time he'd seen Rey since the night after Jakku, when they had all three reunited in a quick and fierce coupling, followed by long hours of quietly speaking into the early hours until Hux had reluctantly left to see to his duties.

And those duties had kept piling on, one atop the other, for both himself and Davidson, and any number of the junior aides he had on staff. They'd all been run ragged. He himself had had to prepare for his speech to the Generals—the speech that would make or break their effort to topple Snoke from his position of Supreme Leader, and restore the First Order to what it _should_ be. What it was _meant_ to be.

The speech, and the subsequent discussion of battle tactics, had gone very well, Kylo and Savat indicating to Hux that every last person in the room was trustworthy and fervent in their desire to restore the Order to its proper direction... To remove the Force user who everyone agreed had become increasingly unstable and power-hungry, using the Order for his own goals and not the goal of restoring peace and stability to the galaxy.

He had to go.

Kylo blinked at Hux as the thinner man suddenly stood, striding swiftly around the edge of his desk. Hux gripped Kylo's chin with the bare fingers of his right hand, tilting his head back so that his golden brown eyes could meet Hux's green ones. "We can do this, right? Tell me the truth, Kylo."

Staring at him intently, Kylo took his time with deciding on a response, for which Hux was grateful. It meant he was not offering him empty platitudes—not that the man had ever done that with Hux, but...

"It will take careful planning, which is already well under way, and we will likely suffer significant losses... but yes. Yes, we can do this. With you at the helm, leading us, and Rey and I, and my knights, combating him directly... this is the best chance that we have."

Hux kept his fingers where they were, but closed his eyes tightly shut. "Good, but... I don't like the idea of Rey facing _him_. I know she's strong. I know she can do it. But he's..."

Kylo's hand covered Hux's own, drawing his hand away from his chin and lacing their fingers together. "I know, Taj," he consoled. "But _you_ try telling her that. I already did, but you're welcome to have a go at it."

Not able to stop himself, Hux let out a startled laugh. "You _what_? You tried to tell her she shouldn't join this fight?" He opened his eyes and smirked down at Kylo, whose eyes were narrowing into a glare.

"Yes," he replied sullenly, as if he regretted ever sharing that information.

"And how did that go?" Hux teased.

"What do you think?" Kylo tugged on their joined hands, and Hux let himself be pulled closer until he was leaning over the darker man, their foreheads nearly touching.

"Hmm," was all Hux replied, his mind turning towards an image of his two lovers entwined together. It was the same image that had popped into his head over the last three days, alternating between distracting him and encouraging him to work faster. He pulled back from Kylo, moving to sit in the chair next to him. He kept their hands laced together, but looked towards the chronometer on the wall.

Two in the morning.

Hux sighed. "I suppose I should come spend some time with you both. Is she asleep?"

"She won't care," was all Kylo responded with as he unfolded himself from the chair with a smooth and near-feline grace that made Hux's mouth go dry.

It really had been _far_ too long.

* * *

The next evening, the men were sitting on the couch in Hux's room after having just finished dinner together.

Rey smiled happily to herself as she made her way back to them, though her eyes were glued to the three glasses she was balancing between her two hands. She was glad that Hux could spend time with them earlier than the previous night; glad that they could spend time awake together. She remembered the way he and Kylo had crawled into bed with her in the early hours of the morning, wrapping themselves around her from both sides, pressing their flesh against—

"Watch it!" Kylo's hand shot out to grip her elbow, stopping her before she took one step too many. She would have tripped against the arm of the couch, spilling the drinks all over the supple leather… _and_ her lovers.

He took two glasses from her, fingers brushing rather deliberately against hers even as his mind caressed her own. She lowered the walls she'd been more successful at maintaining of late, just enough so that he could sense her contentment—and the spark of arousal that had flared at his contact.

His eyes met and held hers, eyelids lowering until he was peering at her through his eyelashes. Rey's breath caught as he shared with her the desire coursing through his own veins before he pulled back and let Rey barricade her mind once again.

Not that she really wanted to, but she needed to get used to keeping it up as often as she could, Kylo had said. So she did… but it was _so_ tempting to feel what he was feeling…

The men moved further apart so that Rey could fit snugly in between them, her head resting on Hux's shoulder for a moment before she pulled back and smiled at him. He was out of his uniform, in a fitted tee and lounge pants, and he looked much more at ease than when she'd seen him striding purposefully through the corridors of the _Finalizer_. He had so much to do… so much to prepare for before they reached Snoke.

He took a sip of the brandy, making a sound that sent shivers down Rey's spine. "Mmm, you got the good stuff," he sighed as he relaxed back into the couch.

Kylo settled his arm across the back of the couch, the fabric of his long-sleeved shirt brushing Rey's braided hair as she leaned back against him. She could feel the play of his muscles as his fingers played with the edge of Hux's sleeve.

Rey took a sip of the brandy, luxuriating in the smooth feel of it as it went down. It was only her second time tasting it—she hadn't been able to resist trying it out when she'd first brought it back—and so she reveled in the beautiful flavor coating her tongue. Facing forward, staring at the abstract painting adorning the wall opposite them, she settled into a peaceful quiet with her two men. It was… perfect. Relaxing.

They hadn't had enough moments like these of late.

Kylo moved to set his glass down on the end table beside him and then reached for Rey's legs, pulling them up and across his lap as Hux angled her against his chest, his free hand trailing down the bare skin her v-neck shirt revealed. His fingers were slowly circling across her flesh, and Rey found her eyes fluttering shut as Kylo's hands made their way beneath the loose leg of her pants, mirroring Hux's movements.

Rey felt Hux's lips touch the crown of her head, his soft breaths ruffling her hair as he trailed his mouth down to the shell of her ear. Rey shivered and barely retained a grip on her glass as his tongue flicked out against her lobe. Kylo chuckled and grabbed her glass from her hands, moving it to the table beside his own glass, and—

Rey's datapad let out a piercing ring.

All three of them froze, staring at the device that had so rudely interrupted them, lying on the table in front of the couch.

It rang again a second time.

Rey slowly dropped her feet to the ground and leaned forward to snag the object with both hands. She glanced down at the notification and then glanced to both sides with wide eyes.

"What?" Kylo asked impatiently, dropping an elbow on one knee and leaning towards her to peer at the screen. Rey didn't bother hiding the screen as she answered him.

"It's… my _parents_." She said the word as if she were entirely unused to it—and she truly was. "They're calling over an audio frequency. What should I do?" she asked, panicking slightly. "I've never talked to them in real time and… and _you're here_." She said the last on a whisper, staring at the datapad in her hands as it let out another loud ring.

Her braid fell over her shoulder, and Rey felt Hux pull it back to hang behind her again. She gave him a look of thanks even as Kylo spoke up.

"We can leave you to answer alone."

Rey was filled with a sense of wrongness at the thought. "No," she whispered her reply. "No, can you stay? I… I won't mention you're here. And they don't know there's anything going on between us, but they do…" She blushed. "They _do_ know that I've, well, sort of caught your eyes. Both of yours. Professionally. Or at least I _think_ that's what they think." Her eyes widened even further.

"You better answer that," Hux informed her dryly. "We'll behave, but we're here for you if you want. You can…" He shot a look over Rey's head at Kylo as the datapad rang again, then flicked his gaze back towards her. "You can mention that you are in a… relationship, if you wish." His eyes were kind when they met hers again; understanding in their own way. "But perhaps… perhaps we can discuss you talking about _who_ you're in one with at another time."

Rey nodded, her nerves and excitement ratcheting up inside of her. With a press of her finger, she answered the call. "Hello?" It was a struggle to keep her voice from shaking.

Both Kylo and Hux sat quietly at her side, one hand each resting on her back as she gently set the datapad on the table. They would be able to hear her clearly from there, and she wouldn't have to risk dropping the piece of equipment as a result of her hands shaking.

There was a moment of silence, and then Rey heard her mother's voice. "Raelyn." Selene sounded tired, and the quality of the transmission was rather shoddy. She was amazed that they were even able to get an audio call in across this distance. The quality was bad, but… it was her _voice_. Her _unrecorded_ voice, at that.

Rey's breath left her body all in a rush. Until then, she'd had no idea she'd been holding it. She brought a hand to her face, trailing her fingers over her eyelids, down her nose, and past her chin, to once more fall into her lap with a clenched fist. "Mo—Sele—" She huffed out a breath of self-deprecating laughter. "Oh Maker, I don't know what to say."

"Please call me 'mom'… but if you're uncomfortable with that, you can call me Selene. That's okay if you need to; I would understand." There was a note of sadness in the woman's tone of voice that even the static-filled transmission couldn't erase.

"Okay," Rey whispered, then cleared her throat when Hux's hand moved to her shoulder and squeezed gently in a show of support. "Okay," she said more clearly. "I can do that, I think… _mom_." At that, the walls around her mind shuddered, and Kylo wrapped his consciousness close against hers, sending strength and adoration towards her.

They were silent another long moment; perhaps her mother didn't know what to say once confronted with the sound of her only surviving child's voice—even though she'd been the one to call.

Rey cast her gaze at Kylo, her mind still bolstered by his, and offered him a small smile. He did not smile back, instead looking as if he would take down the entire galaxy to protect her from even the smallest iota of pain. The fierceness of his gaze matched his appearance, she felt—matched his personality. It was… everything she loved about him. Everything he did was rooted in his intensity and deep passion; in the way he went about life with a single-minded purpose, though it was tempered where it counted with a vast reserve of intellect and common sense.

Her head moved to look fully at Hux on her other side just as her mother spoke up again. "How… how are you, Raelyn? Are they treating you well? Are you fitting in? Are you… _happy_?" Hux's fingers had trailed down her arm from her shoulder to twine with her fingers, and he squeezed her hand tightly at the startled look she gained at the question. Kylo's hand had moved to her thigh where he was slowly rubbing circles. It was soothing. It was… it meant _everything_ to her to have these men in her life, and here with her now for this.

"Yes... mom. They're… The Order is treating me well." She shot a smile at the redhead beside her before looking towards the datapad again. "I'm happy. I feel like I've truly found my place here."

"Good… that's good," Selene said.

She sounded distracted, Rey finally realized. As if she was trying to do more than one thing at once. "Mom? Is… everything okay? Do you need to go take care of something? You can always call me back later. Or maybe… maybe _dad_ can talk if he's around? I'd hate to interrupt…"

Rey would take anything she could get with her family, but she would never want to intrude. Never mind the fact that she had received the call in the first place.

"I—no. No, that's not possible," Selene replied, sounding troubled, but focused, now.

"What's not possible?" Rey asked, confused.

"Your father and some of his top officers were called away on a mission by the Supreme Leader himself, just last week," her mother answered. She was silent another long moment, in which Hux and Kylo's hands tensed where they were resting. Neither said a word, allowing Rey and her mother their illusion of privacy, but Rey could feel them turning and catching each others' eyes. She was sure Kylo was speaking into Hux's mind, but she was more concerned about what her mother was saying.

"Is he… okay?" she inquired quietly.

"I have faith in your father. He can protect himself. But Rey… darling. I have this _feeling_ , and it's something I can't shake. The upper echelon of the Order in these parts, they have been whispering… I…"

There was something she wanted to say, but it was as if she couldn't get the words past her lips.

Rey cast a worried look at Hux when he let go of her hand and reached for the datapad resting on the table all of a sudden. His features were blank, but that worried her more than any show of anger, derision, or disgust that she had seen upon his face in the past.

Pulling the datapad into his hands, Hux swiped the screen, fingers moving quickly across the programs and keyboard that he pulled up. Within seconds, he spoke, his voice taking on that authoritative cadence that Rey in turns loved and hated.

"Captain Coiro, this is General Hux," he announced.

"Sir!" Rey's mother's voice changed instantly, becoming as crisp as it could over the deteriorated audio channel.

Rey was pulled, wide-eyed, into Kylo's lap, her back resting against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her torso. He kissed her cheek before replacing his lips with his own cheek, pressing it against hers.

Hux cut straight to the chase, offering no explanation as to why he of all people was cutting in on her call with her daughter. "Captain, I have run this transmission through an extra set of encryptions. Everything we say here is to remain private, even if another General asks. My orders supersede theirs, do you understand?"

"Yes, sir, I understand completely." Rey thought Selene's voice sounded almost… relieved.

All Rey felt was confusion as she watched her lover don his armor and interact with her _mother_ of all people. For what purpose, she had no idea. Kylo soothed a palm up and down one of her arms, as if sensing her confusion—and he probably did. Her control was in tatters.

"How long ago did your husband leave?" Hux asked succinctly.

"Nearly two weeks ago, sir."

"Was he traveling to meet a larger contingent?"

"No sir, a star destroyer, the _Vicious_ , picked him and the rest of his crew up here, along with a large cache of armaments from my warehouse."

Hux's voice gained a hard edge, his words pronounced sharply. "Were they to meet up with other ships?"

"I wasn't told anything, sir, but the _Vicious_ took all twelve of the newly-modified power converters for the ventral cannons. I could only assume that they would be divvied up between themselves and whatever other ships they were rendezvousing with."

"I see," he said curtly. "… and Captain, what are these _whispers_ that you were referencing when speaking with your daughter?"

Rey squirmed in Kylo's lap, wondering what her mother would make of _that_ —of the implication that Hux had been listening in on her conversation… that he had been with her at the time of the call.

Kylo whispered in her ear, "Stop moving, Rey. Now's really not the time." She froze.

No, it really wasn't the time.

Something was _wrong_.

"They were…" Selene cleared her throat. "There were _rumors_ that multiple bases were called to action, sir. But no one knew for sure."

Hux was quiet for a moment, and Rey was frightened as she saw the tightening of the skin around his eyes… and the _fear_ she could feel coming off of him.

Fear and resignation both.

Hux looked at Kylo and Rey, small hints of emotion making its way onto his features as he asked another question. "And Commandant Coiro's orders—did they come from the governing council, or from Sno—the Supreme Leader, himself?"

"… From the Supreme Leader, sir." Selene's voice was troubled, though still strong.

"Thank you, Captain. Your service has been invaluable." Hux reached forward to press the icon that would end the transmission, but was interrupted by the Captain before he could do so.

"General. Please… please tell Raelyn I love her." She nearly choked on the words.

"I will." His eyes caught and held Rey's as he tapped the screen, ending the transmission with Rey's mother.

He was completely still for a moment before he leaned forward, thrusting one hand into Kylo's hair and the other into the taut strands of Rey's braid. His lips crashed against hers, slanting over her mouth and pressing fiercely. His tongue demanded entrance and Rey gladly let him in, though her mind was whirling with the intensity of it all from her normally cool and composed man. Kylo was the one who would normally act like this, not Taj—

He pulled back and pressed his lips to Kylo's briefly, though no less intensely, before parting from the man. He rested his forehead against Rey's and she could see his eyes clench shut. Kylo unwrapped one arm from around Rey and clutched his hand around the other man's bicep.

"Taj, is it—?"

Hux gave a short jerk of his head, and Kylo tensed beneath Rey.

"What's going on?" Rey asked, her worry and fear increasing as she felt the emotions rolling off of both men—it was the closest thing to terror she had _ever_ felt from them.

And that incited her own terror.

Hux kissed her once more, swiftly. "I love you," he said. "Never forget that."

He stood up before Rey could say anything else, and Kylo kissed her neck, then her jaw, and then pulled her head around so that she could be kissed fully on the lips. "I love you, Rey," he said as he pulled away, pushing her off of his lap so that they could both stand. Hux was already in his bedroom, doing who knew what.

"I…" Rey was even more scared. "I love you both as well, but… you're scaring me. What's wrong? What's happening?" Her voice was rising in pitch. It was as if she had no control over herself anymore.

It was then that the alarm began to blare, and the room's lighting flashed red.


	30. War

It took them barely ten minutes to arrive on the bridge.

The entire way there, Hux was speaking rapidly into his commlink, attempting to get a feel for the situation at hand, and trying to wade through the conflicting reports that were being given to him.

Hux cursed inwardly.

It seemed he would have to wait until he was on the bridge himself to be able to comprehend exactly what was going on. There were vessels out there, that much was sure, but no one seemed to be entirely certain if those awaiting them were friend or foe. Yet his people had done their jobs, at least. When unsure, they erred on the side of caution.

The three of them had stopped just long enough for the three of them to dress appropriately, and now Hux was being flanked by a masked, cowled, and armed First Knight to his left, and the Knight's equally cowled and armed apprentice to his right, both walking a step behind him. Rey had to practically jog to keep up with Hux and Kylo's long legs and fast pace, and Hux might have let himself dwell on the image with a smirk if it were any other time… but not now.

Not when they were likely under attack.

He had said his piece, told them he loved them, but now it was time to focus; now it was time to be the leader that he had been raised to be.

The bridge doors slid open upon their approach. All three of them stalked across the raised portion of the floor to the command station on the other side of the bridge, closest to the port-side windows. The officers on duty never spared them a glance, focused instead on their duties as they should be, and calling back and forth to each other as needed. There was a certain frenetic feel to the bridge in the wake of the alarm, but Hux was pleased to see that it was not crossing into the realm of unprofessionalism. His officers and technicians were hurried, not frantic.

"Report," Hux barked out to Davidson before he even reached her side. He, Rey, and Kylo were still a good twenty feet away, but the Major turned towards him and started to speak immediately.

"At exactly twenty-oh-seven our sensors picked up activity on the edge of the system. Within minutes six star destroyers had dropped out of hyperspace, and none were replying to our hails. We know that two of them are the Supreme Leader's personal protection vessels. That, combined with the lack of response, and the… _discussions_ we have had, compelled me to sound the call to arms." She looked at him pointedly over the edge of her datapad.

Hux met her eyes coolly, his peripheral vision picking up a flash of red as Savat Ren stalked towards Kylo and Rey where they were standing a few feet to the side. Hux lifted a brow at the Major. "Continue," he ordered, keeping his thoughts contained until he had the full situation at his disposal. He would make his decisions then―and _only_ then. No sense playing the fool and rushing to make a decision.

"They have yet to answer hails and only moments before you arrived they started to angle into an attack formation. We estimate fifteen minutes until they are within range." The blonde woman gestured towards the sensor screen behind her, and Hux joined her at the display. "Your orders, sir?" she asked the General.

Hux scanned the display, his gaze taking in the sight of the six blue dots in tight formation heading straight towards the _Finalizer's_ own blue dot, and the dots of the three other ships accompanying the _Finalizer_ who had loosely begun to drift into something resembling a classic defensive formation, with Hux's vessel—both the technologically most-advanced and most-armed ship out of all four—taking point.

Hux grit his teeth. "Change the six incoming ships to red on the display. Mark them as enemy combatants. Follow protocol Beta-Romeo and engage when they are within range. Prime the ventral canons and ready the ion. I want us ready to fire as soon as possible. I want every last TIE ready to launch. Relay my orders to the other three ships. We need to engage every last resource at our disposal if we're to survive this."

"Very well. Right away, sir." Samantha Davidson saluted Hux, cast her eyes briefly towards the trio of Force users to the side, and then turned to follow through with her orders. Hux pushed her voice to into the background, and strode towards Kylo, Rey, and Savat.

"It's Snoke," Hux announced as soon as he came to a stand-still between Kylo and Savat. The three of them turned to look at him with varying degrees of solemnity on the women's faces, and the nothingness of Kylo's black and chrome mask.

"We know," Kylo's modulated voice replied. Savat and Rey nodded in agreement, their faces still uncovered.

Rey's expression took on a look of disgust and she shivered. "I can _feel_ him brushing against my mind. Against ours. Trying to get in. It's worse than the audience room. It's _awful_."

"You are doing well, Rey," Savat murmured. "Keep your focus and do not allow him in. Even from this distance he can cause havoc with your mind. We do not want a Force user―especially not one as powerful as yourself―to fall prey to his control at this point in time."

Rey nodded, swallowing thickly and trying to smooth her features back into a semblance of control. Kylo simply looked on quietly, though Hux could tell that the other man was agitated and on edge―his hands were continuously clenching and unclenching, brushing against the two lightsaber hilts hanging on either side of his belt every so often.

Hux tilted his head slightly; he still didn't know where the other saber had come from, but there was no time to ponder that question now. "Have you made contact with your Knights?" he asked.

"I have," Savat responded as she braided her fiery red hair into a tight rope of hair, keeping it off of her face and out of the way for any fighting that was likely to come. "They've been divided into the squadrons we assigned to them three weeks ago and placed throughout the ship in the event that boarding occurs. Unfortunately there's not much they―or we, for that matter―can do until such an event occurs. _If_ it occurs."

"We shall do our best to avoid such a possibility," Hux replied. "This is what my men and women are trained to do. We'll do our job, and you do yours if it proves necessary." He raised his voice. "Davidson!"

"Yessir!" She trotted towards him, tucking a flyaway piece of hair behind one ear as she came to a stop beside him.

"Is Captain Phasma with her troops?" he asked.

"Yes, General. She and the other 'trooper captains are in the process of moving their battalions to their assigned stations. They will send the appropriate code when they are in position."

"Good. ETA?" he queried, attempting to keep his tone level. He was anxious, but he kept the feeling deep down within him where it belonged. He'd been trained from a young age to remain calm under pressure, and especially calm and level-headed when under fire. Now was not the first time he had faced an enemy in a space battle.

But it was the first time he had faced such odds.

"Two minutes, sir, until all weapons are primed and ready to fire. Beta-Romeo grants permission to fire at will―would you like to change the attack plan?"

"No. Continue as planned. Patch me through to all three other Generals on a secure link to my own commlink, Davidson."

"Yes, sir, right away, sir."

Within moments he was patched through to the other Generals, and he had turned his body so that he could look out the window bank of the bridge. Kylo stepped to his side, and Rey to Kylo's other side, leaving Savat behind to fiddle with the hilt of her lightsaber and the other weapons attached to her person. Hux spared a glance to his right, his eyes quickly sweeping over the bodies of his lovers, memorizing their forms, searing every moment he could spare into his mind…

…just in case.

Just in case something went wrong; in case this was the last time he saw them, alive or dead; in case this was the last time they would see him; in case their future was filled with blood and death and torture beyond the imagination's ken… in case they never saw each other again.

He seared these last moments into his mind, meeting Rey's soft, hazel gaze, wishing he could wipe the fear from her expression, yet knowing there was no time, and moving on to meet what he just _knew_ were Kylo's dark brown eyes through the blackness of his visor, wishing that he could―one _last_ time―see them without the barrier in the way. He seared these images into his mind, and then squared his shoulders, shoved all thoughts of his lovers to the side, and opened the secure channel as he faced forward.

"Generals, are you prepared?"

Their quick and short affirmative replies crackled through the commlink in his hands as he stared out the window bank at the approaching fleet of opposing star destroyers.

"Then fire when ready, sirs, and remember what we are fighting for."

"For the glory and supremacy of the First Order!" one called out passionately.

"For the eradication of corruption, within _and_ without," another said, far more solemnly.

"For power!" the third interjected.

Hux bowed his head slightly. "For all that and more, good sirs. For that and for the protection of our peoples and families." He did not look at his lovers again, but he felt the both of them brush lovingly against his mind before they pulled back quickly, leaving him to concentrate fully on the task at hand.

Within moments, the first shots were fired.

Hux watched, with a thrill that never seemed to go away, as the _Finalizer_ and the rest of her cohorts released their first volley upon their targets. The pale blue-white beams of the ventral cannons stretched across the black nothingness of space between them, making contact with the first of the six ships to have entered within firing distance.

"Report!" he barked out.

A technical officer replied, "Sir, we are estimating sixty-two percent structural damage to the foremost ship. Shields completely down."

Hux let a little smirk tug at his lips; it seemed their knowledge of the other ships' systems were of benefit after all.

They knew _exactly_ where to hit.

Unfortunately, he knew, Snoke's fleet would know Hux's ships just as well. They would have to strike hard, and strike fast. "Fire again," Hux ordered, and then immediately followed it with another as he watched at least ten wings worth of TIE fighters launching from the enemy ships. "Begin launching our TIE wings."

"Yes sir!" was called out, followed by hurried orders to the hangar bays.

Hux watched as the beginnings of all eight wings of TIE/fo and TIE/sf fighters entered his field of vision, flying directly towards the oncoming enemy combatants.

"You've ensured any sensor identification tag that does not belong to our four vessels have been labeled as targets, correct, Major Davidson?" Hux queried sharply.

"Yes sir, it was one of the first orders given when contacting the wing squadrons."

"Very good."

Hux fell quiet at that, simply watching as the TIE fighters flew closer and closer… _there_. Weapons fire began to be exchanged as the fighters engaged in their first pass, the survivors pulling up and around as soon as the first pass was completed. He watched another few moments before he strode towards the sensor display, gazing down at the spread of the battlefield. His eyes narrowed.

Why weren't they firing back yet? The _Finalizer_ and the other three ships under his command were nearly ready to fire a second volley from their ventral cannons, but the other six had yet to fire a single shot. They'd had plenty of time to prime their weapons…

Oh.

The new power converters that Selene Coiro, Rey's mother, had mentioned. They must take longer to power, but Hux was _sure_ that when they were primed… they would yield a much stronger beam than his own weapons.

The _Finalizer_ was new; it was the latest model… but enough years had passed for there to have been new upgrades researched and made available. Nearly every ship in this battle was a Resurgent-class star destroyer―the only two that weren't were two Imperial-era star destroyers on the enemy's side―but that didn't mean that every ship was equal.

No, the _Finalizer_ was likely about to be outgunned by newly-manufactured upgrades to the kyber-crystal ventral cannons of the opposing side.

 _Kriff_.

Just as he turned to issue an order―he had no idea _what_ he was going to say, but was trusting his well-honed instincts―the enemy ships released their first return volley. Moments later, Hux's fleet released theirs. He fell silent, and a hush fell across the rest of the bridge for an instant before Davidson was screaming for extra power to be diverted to the forward shields.

She almost shouldn't have bothered.

Eight blue-white ventral cannon beams from the opposing Resurgent-class star destroyers, and four of their own, coursed across the space between them. TIE fighters from both sides who couldn't move in time were incinerated instantly in the beams. Four each hit the two ships to either side of the _Finalizer_ , causing lights to flash on screens everywhere around the bridge, and for officers to start yelling information back and forth between themselves, attempting to get a read on the situation at hand.

Hux watched with bated breath as the four beams hit the same ship they had targeted before. He closed his eyes briefly in relief and a prayer of thanks to whatever nameless deity was listening the moment he saw the ship start to break apart into multiple pieces.

One down. Five to go.

"Status!" he demanded as soon as he opened his eyes again, trying to take in as much of the TIE battle as possible.

"Enemy target neutralized; no life signs in the immediate vicinity." One officer reported succinctly.

"The _Forerunner_ and the _Ascension_ 's shields are both gone; minimal structural damage detected, however." Another officer reported on the heels of the first.

Hux's mind briefly rested on the thought that his crew was operating beyond his expectations for having no idea why they were fighting their own people; for why the First Order was partaking in in-fighting. He cast that thought quickly aside, however; there was no time to dwell on such matters. Suffice it to say that he was impressed with his crew; he would reward them should they survive this, and leave it at that.

Hux paused another moment more, his mind latching onto another, much more important, thought, and then slowly turned towards Kylo. The masked man was hovering just behind Rey, who was staring wide-eyed out the windows at the battle before her, though he did not touch the smaller woman.

Kylo met his gaze and tilted his head slightly to the side in a questioning gesture.

"Can you pinpoint which ship Snoke is on?" Hux demanded quickly.

Kylo and Rey both looked out towards the ships spread before them, nearly swamping their view of the battlefield as they came closer and closer. It was a very eerie sight, as both Force users looked in the exact same direction. Hux followed their gaze, and was met with the sight of both an Imperial-era and Resurgent-class star destroyer. "Which one?" he asked again.

"That one," Kylo replied as he lifted a hand and pointed towards the Imperial-era one. "He's on that one."

"Why would he be on that one?" Rey asked into the silence that followed, turning towards Kylo instead of expecting an answer from Hux. "The ships on Jakku were a lot less formidable than the current Resurgent-class, with inferior weaponry, even if they upgraded it, and with a vulnerable command tower…"

Ignoring the answer that followed, Hux walked towards the windows as he pondered the situation himself, letting the Major and his other officers handle the particulars of the battle as he knew they would be able to; as they had been _trained_ to do. Snoke was on the ship at the rear of the enemy formation, though the destruction of their first target had left a slight hole in the protective barrier that the other four remaining ships were trying to fill.

He made a snap decision.

Turning back towards the raised walkway, Hux began to pace down the length of it, barking out orders to his own men and women, as well as the Generals on the other end of his commlink.

They were taking the battle closer.

As they began their secondary approach, the ships started to fire their turbo-lasers and ion cannons, the green of the lasers larger and more vibrant than that of the TIE fighters' weaponry.

"General!" Davidson called out to him as he approached his original position once more. "The _Forerunner_ has been destroyed. All hands except for the TIE, which I have grouped under our remaining wing leaders." Hux simply nodded as he twisted his lips in response. He had heard as much over the commlink as he returned; listening to someone's death over a voice channel was something that no one could ever truly get used to.

He watched as another one of the enemy ships broke apart beneath the onslaught of the remaining ships' ventral cannons.

"Brace!" was called out, loud enough for everyone on the bridge to hear.

Hux spread his legs and gripped the monitor bank before him in preparation, his eyes sliding towards Kylo and Rey. Kylo had pulled Rey against his chest, holding her in place as he set his back against a support beam.

The entire ship shook as they were hit, but his crew picked themselves up quickly, shaking off the shock of impact and returning to their duties as soon as possible.

"Report!" Hux called out again.

"Sir, we lost our port side ventral cannon. Minimal shield and structural damage."

"The _Ascension_ has been disabled completely. She's sitting dark and incapable of responding to our hails."

Hux grunted and then glared at the sensor map before him.

"Sir," Davidson intruded on his thoughts, which were rapidly turning over option after option. "It seems that they are attempting to simply disable us. We've detected a few ships that are not our own that have boarded the _Finalizer_. They are not attempting to board either the _Ascension_ or the _Obliterator_. Only us."

"Continue our course. It seems we have an advantage in that they wish to take us alive. Too bad we don't care to do the same to them," he gritted out. "Continue to fire every damn thing we have. I want that ship taken out."

There was very little he could offer by way of orders over the next few minutes―they were make or break. It was beyond his control for now. So he simply watched the sensors, casting his eyes every so often at the video displays and window banks around him, keeping track of the battle as it progressed. As enemy and ally TIE alike flew around them, the _Obliterator_ disabled another enemy target by way of its turbo-lasers, leaving them with engines but no weapons. They ignored that vessel in favor of turning on another and starting to fire everything at it as their ventral cannons were recharged once more. The _Finalizer_ 's remaining ventral cannon fired once more at another Resurgent-class star destroyer that had come between them and Snoke's vessel.

Hux had the _Finalizer_ and the _Obliterator_ remaining. The _Forerunner_ was destroyed and the _Ascension_ had gone completely dark, and there were reports of escape pods and other star craft launching from the bays of the disabled ship.

Snoke had his own vessel and two others still operational. Two had been destroyed and the aforementioned one was beginning to limp away from the battle without its weaponry being usable.

Two against three.

The odds weren't fantastic, but they were holding their own.

And it certainly helped that they were being targeted for boarding, and not for destruction. It was easier to destroy than to capture, and Hux intended to use every last bit of advantage that presented to them.

Another few minutes passed as he watched with clenched jaw as they came closer and closer to Snoke's vessel. The _Finalizer_ was over twice the size of the Imperial-era star destroyer, and Hux was filled with an odd sort of glee and adrenalin as they approached. Their ventral cannon struck Snoke's ship once before the _Finalizer_ was struck again, dropping its shields below fifty percent and collapsing one of the smaller hangar sections.

"Sir! We've been boarded with over forty separate parties, numbering in the hundreds with each. We have multiple squadrons requesting reinforcement."

"We have more units at our disposal than they can possibly board us with!" Hux snapped, his face flushing red. "What the _pfassk_ are our people doing to be overrun like this?"

Davidson replied steadily, in that calm tone that Hux had always appreciated from her. "Sir, it seems they are using elite operatives. Your orders?"

Hux's mind flashed to the fact that Rey's father had been called up to participate in this mission. Rey's father… and the black ops school he ran. Between current students and previous graduates, there were more than enough to fill the boarding parties that had been sent to the _Finalizer_ … and with the skill they brought to bear it was _certainly_ more than a match for his crew of mostly pilots and Stormtroopers.

"Kylo!" he snapped out his summons.

The other man glided over to him within moments, Rey and Savat at his heels. All three Force users were palming the hilts at their belts. Rey's face was the only one that betrayed their nervousness, however, though he was sure all three were feeling it.

 _Kriff_ , even he was feeling nervous.

Kylo inclined his head and spoke before Hux could even voice his thoughts on the matter. "We will assist the ground forces against the boarding parties while you, General, focus on getting us clear of the ships."

Hux stared at him a moment, then nodded his assent sharply. He hadn't needed to express his intent to the other man―as usual when it came to battle, he and Kylo were of the same mind. He glanced around furtively before softening his gaze as he looked upon Rey and Kylo. He didn't care if Savat were there; she already knew of their relationship and had yet to cause a problem.

"Be safe," he whispered. He reached forward and brushed his fingers softly against first Rey's, and then Kylo's gloved hands. It was all he could allow himself. Anything else, and he would break where and when he should not― _could_ not. He must remain strong; he must not crumble.

He was lucky that they did not reply directly to him. That might have been too much. It was enough that Rey gazed up at him with every emotion she felt for him held within his eyes. It was enough that Kylo reached back and brushed his own knuckles against Hux's in return.

"Kylo," Savat said after allowing them their moment. "You should remain in the halls nearby the bridge, and call for the withdrawal of squadrons in nearly-overrun sections to meet with you as you patrol and guard the bridge."

Kylo was silent for what seemed a split-second too long; he seemed to be on the verge of refusing Savat's suggestion. Yet he surprised them all when he spoke. "You are right, Savat. I will be of better use just outside, guarding the General and the bridge rather than chasing down our enemies. They will come to me, and to get to the bridge they will have to go _through_ me." He paused another moment, carefully keeping his gaze from settling on his apprentice. "I do not want Rey there."

Savat inclined her head even as she was pulling her half-mask over the lower portion of her face. "Yes, I figured as much. With your permission, I will take her with me as I perform a sweep of the starboard side; the fighting seems most pressing there, and I believe we will be of most benefit there. Plus, she and I have learned to fight well alongside each other these past weeks in your absence, Master."

Rey's eyes were flitting back and forth between Hux, Savat, and Kylo, and then back to Hux again, over and over again. Hux wanted to comfort her, though he truly had no time for it, and it wasn't the place for it, but that thought was swept aside as her features settled into a mask; a firm mask of stubbornness and strength, all fear except the barest hint swept aside.

He could tell that she didn't want to leave Kylo's side, didn't want to leave Hux's side―but she would do it. He knew she would. She was strong, she was wonderful… she was _his_.

"Very well," Kylo assented gruffly. "Let us leave the General to what he is good at, and go about what _we_ are good at."

Kylo and Rey moved past Hux and onto the raised walkway, Rey casting her eyes back towards Hux only briefly. He inclined his head at her and she crinkled her eyes in response before turning her face forward again, towards Kylo.

Savat remained behind momentarily. She pulled her lightsaber into her hand, the extra length of the hilt being run through her hands in a loving and joyous manner. Hux raised his eyebrow at her, and she raised hers back as she met his gaze. Her brown eyes glinted.

"I will take good care of your Rey, General," she said finally, in a softer tone than he had expected. "You will see her again. And your man, he is in his own good hands, I need not remind you. Just focus on getting the _Finalizer_ out of here in one piece, and we will do our part."

Without waiting for a reply, she spun on her heels and jogged to catch up to the other two Force users as they all made to exit the bridge, leaving Hux behind.

This was his _place_ , but even so, the sight of Rey and Kylo leaving for battle without him made a part of him _yearn_ to fight by their sides.

Hux stared after her―after _them_ ―for a long moment before his attention was pulled back to what was going on in the battle around him. He'd been listening to the voices in the background and keeping his eye on the Major as he was talking with Rey, Savat, and Kylo Ren, but now that they were gone he could focus his complete attention back on the battle.

His lovers―the ones he called his _own_ ―were in good hands… either their own, or their comrades'. He needed to trust them to do their part, as he did his for them all.

"Davidson, any major status change?"

As he asked, the ship was rocked with another blast.

"Report!" Hux called out.

"Sir, our second ventral cannon is not charging fully or correctly. It must be taken offline and patched or we risk blowing the entire ship!"

"Do it!" Hux ordered quickly. "Cover with our remaining turbo-lasers and ion cannons, but keep focused on the ship at the rear of the formation! I want it disabled or destroyed within the next ten minutes."

Over the next few minutes, the _Obliterator_ assaulted one of the last two vessels other than Snoke's ship as the _Finalizer_ focused on the latter. Over half of their TIE fighter wings had been destroyed, though the other side was not doing much better.

There was a reason that the _Finalizer_ was the flagship of the First Order. Every last one of her troops and pilots were the best of the best. Even against heavy odds like this battle, the _Finalizer_ had an edge through sheer superiority.

Almost simultaneously, the _Obliterator_ and the ship it was firing upon broke apart at the seams. Their shields had failed concurrently and their last fired shots found their targets.

Hux growled.

Two ships to one.

Two half-beaten ships, one of which was over three decades old, against the flagship of the First Order, battered as it might be.

Hux's lips twitched upwards into what could only be described as a baring of teeth. He growled and then bit it off abruptly as he turned towards Davidson. "Status of the primary target, and ETA to ventral cannon returning online," he demanded.

"Shields at thirty-six estimated percent, structural damage minimal, though primarily weaponry. Our own ETA is eight minutes, sir," the blonde replied immediately, reading from the read-outs on her datapad.

"Prime and fire immediately upon activation," he ordered. Narrowing his eyes, he glared at the screen before him. "What are they _doing_?"

The two enemy ships were starting to angle away from them, priming their hyperdrives and readying their engines. It seemed like…

"Sir, they are… retreating," Davidson said with as much incredulity as Hux was feeling.

And they were indeed retreating, the bulk of their TIE fighters disengaging from Hux's TIEs and docking before the two enemy vessels engaged into hyperspace.

"Why?" he barked out the question. "What do they know that we don't?" He glanced around his bridge, his temper rising as victory slipped from within his grasp.

Enemy retreat was a victory to most―but to Hux… no; unless he could see the debris and bodies of his enemies, there was no victory to be had.

They were getting _away_ , stealing a true victory from his grasp.

But _why_? They had still had a chance against the _Finalizer_ , Hux admitted. They shouldn't have…

The two ships engaged their hyperdrives, the third remaining one they had disabled the weapons of before having already departed while he hadn't been paying close attention. They had left their boarding parties behind, and any TIE fighters that hadn't been able to make it to their carrier before they entered hyperspace. The remainder were picked off, or engaged into hyperspace themselves.

"Someone _answer_ me!" Hux yelled.

"General!" a voice called out from across the bridge.

"Report!" he returned.

"Our sensors were damaged, sir," the officer's shaking voice replied. "Our long-range ones, that is. We didn't prioritize them as our short-range sensors were functioning perfectly.

"And?" Hux pushed after the officer was silent for a moment too long to be proper.

Yet he didn't need to hear the officer's reply to know what the other ships had seen; not anymore. He could see for himself as the blips appeared on the short range sensors.

"It's the Resistance, sir."

Hux simply stared at the lines of data on the terminals before him. Projections were already being run and calculated as the new information was being entered, appearing upon the screens to which his eyes were glued.

His eyes frantically took in the amount of TIEs remaining, and the amount of X-wings and other vessels currently surrounding them.

It _was_ the Resistance.

And it seemed the Resistance had found new allies.

* * *

 **Note:** **Here we are, all caught up with the chapters that were posted before I was hacked. What a bittersweet moment. :'(**

 **Things are still going a little slowly for me right now, but I have what I want to write planned out... Just gotta write it. But I am totally excited about where this is going. I hope that you are, too! Just know that I will finish this story. It's my baby, in a way, and I won't give up on it. It'll just be slow to update for now, as I focus on my health problems, my husband and my home and yard, getting a job if necessary, my thesis... But I will finish.**

 **Next chapter... well, we'll see. Will there be a battle? Will there be a surrender? Perhaps both? Perhaps neither? ;) Perhaps something entirely unexpected! Like maybe the Resistance surrenders, or Snoke returns with more support? Hmmmm... ;)**

 **Also, I'd like to take a moment to thank my ever-tireless and wonderful beta Annaelle, and my stellar friend Perry_Downing for both being willing to listen and hash this plot out with me... and also for being amazing support. Can't do it without you ladies. xoxo**

 **Special, extra-wonderful thanks to my hard-working hubby. He helps me through so many things, is my constant support, my rock, my shield, my helpmate. He's just wonderful. *blows kisses at him***


	31. A loving message from Juulna

Hello to all of my Star Wars readers, Juulna here, with lots of love and hugs, first and foremost.

I know this isn't the update you wanted it to be, and I'm sorry for that. I know you've all waited a long, _long_ time for an update—many of you for _over a year_ —and so I wanted to come here and use what is normally reserved for chapter updates, what is normally frowned upon for author updates (but really, there is no better way to reach all of you, my apologies, dear friends), to tell you why there hasn't been one in so _very_ long… and why there won't be one in the foreseeable future.

On Tumblr I recently received an ask wondering if I was going to be continuing one of my stories. I answered it at the time, about a month ago, but since then the answer has been on the edge of my thoughts. It made me realize that I really do need to let you, faithful readers old and new alike (who aren't tapped into my Tumblr), know that I just… well, I can't write Star Wars at the moment. It doesn't really even matter what ship.

And you really should know _why_.

I've attempted to start writing again, and even had that brief period late last summer where I was lucky enough to begin _I'd start a war for you_ , in fact, and was able to write some other updates for other stories as well. But it soon became clear to me that I was riding the high of literally just leaving my husband. It didn't last for long, as soon reality came sweeping back in, and I was no longer able to hide from the immense trauma that had been caused to my psyche and heart.

Many of you know, but many don't, that there are a lot of really awful memories tied up with Star Wars and my abusive ex-husband (likely hacked and removed my work from AO3, slutshamed me for shipping and writing fic, the list goes on…), as well as with me and the Star Wars fandom and being cyberbullied, both of which contributed to the massive decline in my health, which continues to be an ongoing struggle filled with regular physiotherapy and doctor's visits, constant pain, and sleep that is never restful.

All of that, all of this, got tied up into a rather unpleasant knot inside of me, and it's one I'm still struggling desperately to undo, but I think there's irreparable damage that's been done, outside and inside, and I'll never be able to fully recover. Every time I _think_ of Star Wars it causes problems and, well, that in itself is a problem, but I can enjoy it as a fan on Tumblr in a way that I just can't even possibly hope to touch on as a writer currently. But I can change trajectory, and thus me starting to write in the Marvel fandom, as there is nothing but happiness and passion there for me, and it's filled with _beautiful_ and _loving_ people and memories (well, so far! *knocks on wood*) and even if I'm struggling creatively and physically, it's a safe haven for me in a way that… well, in a way that Star Wars can't be right now.

I may be able to write Star Wars again (I was able to write a little oneshot post-TLJ but even that left a terrible feeling inside me and reaffirmed to me I wasn't ready for more) but it isn't right now. However, I _can_ say that although some of the comments I've been getting, wondering when I'm going to update, are rude, the others I'm getting on these old, unfinished fics… are actually sorting of stoking the fire again. So it's been a good thing for me, healing in a way (comments always make me happy, even if I'm not going to finish the fic!), and I hope that perhaps someday sooner than I thought, I might be able to feel comfortable enough to write Star Wars again. But not _soon_ soon. And maybe not _ever_. Thus… well, thus this message.

But… there is still that spark of hope in me, because these are my _babies_. I love these stories more than you can possibly know, and the fact that they've been so irrevocably ruined and tainted for me, twisted by a man whom I once loved, who I trusted, and by others who made me feel unsafe in a place that had become like a second home… it breaks my heart, to be cliché. To be fricking dramatic, honestly. But really, these stories meant… _mean_ so much to me, even still. And it hurts me _so much_ , not to be able to finish them. But I can't write one word without wanting to start crying right now, and that's going to take a long time to heal from.

Yes, I know, "don't let him take this from you," is something I've heard time and again, and it's something I've told myself many times, and I haven't. Not really. I reposted my stories when he didn't want me to. I started writing again, new stories and updates, before and after I left him, and I've fought tooth and nail for what I have right now. For where I am. But I also need to do what is healthy for me mentally. There is being strong, and then there is being _too strong_ , pushing yourself past the shattering point, not knowing when to stop. Right now I need to stop. Need to heal. Then... well, then I'll re-evaluate. See what I can do. See how strong I am, what I can handle. I know I'm strong, that's not the question... but, well... mental health is a tricky bitch, eh?

At least the bastard's finally gone. July 4th, 2017, separated. December 22nd, 2017, divorced. Thank God. And thank you, _every single one of you_ , whether you knew you were doing it or not (simply giving me a kudos, or a comment/review, or a fav/follow/subscription was showing me more love than you know during all of this darkness), for standing by me.

But truly.

 _Truly_.

I understand your frustration, and it makes me really sad and upset, too, believe me—for _you_ as my reader.

Because I get it. Lord, do I ever. I'm a reader, too, right? Or did you forget? ;) But really… how many times have I read a WiP and then it just… never gets updated? It makes me so sad to have to do that here, at least as it stands right now. I know I always a) wondered what happened next in the story… but also b) wondered if the author was okay.

So here I am giving you my answer to (B)— I _am_ okay, and will be okay, I promise. ^_^

 **And (A)… if you** _ **really,**_ _ **really**_ **want to know what happens in the rest of whichever story it is you're reading, you can come poke me on Tumblr on the handle 'juuls'.**

I do, at least, have a couple of oneshots, drabbles and ficlets that are complete, as well as one complete multi-chapter Reylo fic called Delicious Ambiguity, if you haven't read it already. I hope that that can sate at least some of you. :P

I know that this was a really long message, and I thank any and all of you who gave this a read. Truly, I appreciate it. I wanted to give you all nothing but the truth and, honestly, I've been putting this announcement off for quite a while, scared to tell you, my readers, about what I see as a failure—even if it isn't.

It's cathartic in a way.

 _Thank you for listening._

With all my love,  
Meaghan


End file.
